The Cleaner《犯罪现场清理员（2021）》第二季第二集完整中英文对照剧本

你好吗？你是清洁工吗？Alright不，我是比尔克林顿You thecleanerhearts;hearts;hearts;好吧，有人叫我来等清洁工No,Im BillClinton.我就是清洁工Alright.Ive beentold towait forThe Cleaner.发生丑闻之后，我需要找点事来做I amThe Cleaner.我要去哪里？I neededa hobbyafter thescandal.太棒了Where doI go小丑Lovely.小心头太好了Mind yourhead.相当混乱，对吧？Ah,right.欢迎你来，我是阿巴哈辛先生Quite a mess,isnt it你好，到底发生了什么事？Welcome.I amMr.Abahassine.恐怕是一场相当大且失控的打群架Hello.What thehell happened打群架？在舞台剧中？Rather alarge andout ofcontrol crowdfight,I fear.那是什么舞台剧？《洛奇》吗？A crowdfight Ata play《洛奇》是舞台剧吗？What wasthe play,was it...Rocky你知道，我刚刚发现我甚至讲不出一部舞台剧的名字Was thata playfirst要是大家看的是舞台剧就好了Do you know,fve justrealised I don*t knowthe name of oneplay.天啊Would thatit was a playthat theywere watching.对，我有个儿子Dear fellow.那你能靠这份工作养活一家子吧？Yes.Yeah,we have a son.这个嘛，我开始做这份工作之后塔拉不得不去找份兼职但是And,you cansupport everyone,doing this,yeahhearts;hearts;,她支持我的梦想Well,Tara hadto geta part-time jobwhen Istarted,but,我明白了she supportsmy dreams.斯特拉扎莫I see.这是你在巴黎学的吗？那是什么意思？Did youlearn thatin Paris你不用那么戒备，老兄Whats thatsupposed to mean我只是想知道，把气球吹大No needto bedefensive,mate.是不是训练的一部分1I wasjust wonderin*if blowinup thebig balloon嗯，那…was part of the trainin*!从袋子里拿出清洁布是你的训练的一部分吗？Well,was...对getting acleaning clothout of a bagpart ofyour training这个表演是我自己发明的Yeah.我在巴黎学到了纪律但艺术全都是我自己的I developedthis actmyself.啊，对了I learnedthe discipline,in Paris.The artis allmine.他们有教你Ah,right.怎么穿着那些又大又长的小丑鞋子跑步吗？And,did theyteach you没有，巴黎教的是默剧how torun inthose big,long,clown shoes你真的有兴趣吗？No!Paris wasa mimecourse.我真的有兴趣啊Are youactually interested这个嘛I reallyam.有一天的课Well.我们一整天都在…Well,on oneday of the course,摘一朵想象中的…雏菊and I mean for the wholeday,we just...你知道吗？picked singleimaginary...daisy.等到第四个小时之后我发誓我能看到那朵花And,youknow what.在即将消失的夏日阳光中闪烁After thefourth hour,I swearI couldsee thatflower,马歇这样要收你多少钱？caught in the dyingsummer light.什么都要扯到钱How muchdid Marcelcharge youfor that你干嘛不直接说出你的意思Always aboutmoney.你显然对我做的事情有意见？我没有，我只是说听起来那天很无聊Why dontyou saywhat youmean,you clearlyhave我相信肯定没有用拖把清洁污渍那么有趣a problemwith what I doNo,Im justsayin,it我不用拖把sounds like a borin*day.Nowhere nearasfascinating asmopping upsome stains,Tm sure.这不是拖把看起来像拖把，但不是拖把I dontuse a mop.这是个专业的设备，我告诉你This is not amop.It lookslikeamop,its not amop.她说我们要疏散之类的Its aspecialist pieceof equipment,and Illtell you-担心你会在火灾中搞丢你那双巨大的小丑鞋子？She sayswe have to evacuate.Or,whatever.我再说一次，我没有什么巨大的鞋子1Worried you!!lose yourmassive clownshoes,in afire怎么会呢？For thesecond time,I dont have anymassive shoes.那你怎么做小丑那种好笑的走路？What,how come不管你认为小丑长怎样我都不是那种小丑How yougonna dothat funnywalk,the clownsdoWhatever you think a clown is,Tm not那你有那种会垮掉的车子吗？that.小丑就是小丑，兄弟Well,you gotone of those carsthat fallapart.小丑绝对不是小丑Clowns a clown,mate.小丑糟透了A clownis mostcertainly nota clown.她比看起来更聪明Clowns areshit.我真的很抱歉Sharper thanshe looks.警报器已经非常老旧了Idoapologise.必须由消防部门远端重置The alarmis ratheroutdated,不过，有个好消息and has to beremotely resetby thefire department!厨师已经来了，如果有人想吃午餐的话Good news,however.太好了Chef hasarrived,if anyonewould enjoylunch.很好Lovely.来吧Good.饿了吗？Come on.嗯Hungry你的薪水如何？Mm.什么？How doesit pay犯罪现场清洁？Hmm啊，还可以Crime scenecleaning都拿来养肚子了Ah.Its alright.你是个独资经营者吧？All boughtand paidfor.什么？Youre asole trader,right你是替公司工作，还是自己工作？Whathearts;hearts;哦，我替公司工作，罗森清洁公司You workfor acompany,or yourselfhearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;不，你应该自己做Oh.For acompany,Lawson.开一家有限公司No,you shouldgo self-employed.hearts;hearts;让他们以自由职业者的身份雇用你Start alimited company,hearts;hearts;在税收和增值税方面会有好处and letthem contractyou asa freelancer.这建议很有用Beneficial taxand VAToutcomes.我想成为与众不同的人，威基Now.Thats useful.这顿午餐是免费的吧？I want to beextraordinary,Wicky.什么？I presumemine iscomped因为我会上台表演Eh他说你会这么说，他说这不是免费的Because Im performing.跟小丑说，午餐不是免费的He said youd saythat,and he says its not free.好，没关系…Tell the clown,itsnotfree.表演完后，我用演出费支付Yeah.No problem,no problem.-好-我卖了几张票？ril payyou fromreceipts,after theshow.hearts;hearts;到目前为止，四张-Yeah.-How manyhave Isold四张？So far,four tickets.四张Four让我来吧Four.你人真好ril getit.你经常只对着四个人表演吗？Oh.Well,thats verykind.大多时候是这样没错How oftenare youplayin tofour people那你有没有想过More oftenthan not.我会回到我的高薪工作And,you dontthink sometimes,在那里我会告诉别人如何避税？Ill justgo backto myreally wellpaid job,从来没有，成功与否取决于触动人心，而不是人数where Iadvise peoplehow to avoid tax是啊，这个嘛，我已经触动了很多人心Never.Success isabout touchingpeople,regardless of the number.大约有个Yeah.Well,Tve touchedloads ofpeople.12那如果没有观众呢？Well,about

12.我还是会表演So,what happensif noone turnsup你不觉得这会让你非常沮丧吗？rd stillperform.我本来可以留在金融界Wouldnt youfind thatmassively depressing成为另一个西装革履的人I couldhave stayedin finance.现在，我的同事是格里马尔迪马叟、卓别灵跟基顿Been justanother suit.是啊Now,my colleaguesare Grimaldi,Marceau,Chaplin,Keaton.我阿姨在花园里到处闲晃Yeah.hearts;hearts;所以她和蒙提唐是最好的朋友And myaunty pottersaround thegarden,事实上，她真的这么认为so shesbest mateswith MontyDon.她应该让她最好的朋友检查一下Actually,she doesthink that.让我为你表演我的节目Should probablyget herbest checked.哦不，不用了Let meshow youmy act.就当作是我请你吃午餐的回报Oh.No,youre alright.拜托，我希望你能理解我的热情，拜托It couldbe paybackfor thelunch.好吧Please.I wantyou tounderstand mypassion.Please.中央剧场Yes!所以，这个背景你需要想象成某种抽象的东西hearts;hearts;既有趣又可怕So,this backdrop,you needto imagineits somethingabstract,既热情又恐怖something playfulyet intense.所以，不能是《驴子男孩》？So,welcoming,yet horrifying.不行，不是《驴子男孩》So,not TheDonkey Boyz挤我…No,not DonkeyBoyz.Milk me,milk me,milk me,milk me,milk me.哦那一点也不好笑Oh.表演结束That bit wasnt funny.哇There.只有哇？Wow.只有哇Just wow所以呢？没别的意见吗？Just,wow.所以我最好继续清洁了So Nonotes不过你表演得很好So,I betterget on.非常有活力Well done,though.我的意思是，当你把那个气球吹大时Very energetic.我以为你会把自己累得半死I mean,when you were blowingthat big balloon up,所以，很好I thoughtyouweregonna giveyourself aprolapse.好So.Good.这个地方不会自己消毒Right.那…你有什么感想？This placeisnt gonnasterilise itself.听我说Well...what didyouthink说实话，我不认为我应该给你意见…Look.拜托，威基，我需要你的意见Seriously,I dontthink Ishould bethe person to-Please,Wicky.I wantyour opinion.来自普通人诚实又不加掩饰的意见很差劲Honest,unvarnished opinion,from thecommon man.不好意思，你说什么？Shit.我觉得你的表演很差劲Sorry,what我…我觉得也许你没有搞懂其中某些意象I thoughtyour actwas shit.r不对，我有搞懂I...I thinkmaybe youdidn tunderstand someof theimagery.我全都有搞懂Yeah,no,I did.我觉得一切都很差劲I understoodall ofit.对不起，兄弟I thoughtit wasall shit.我可能不该这么说但我觉得斯特拉扎莫…很烦人Im sorry,mate.那感伤力呢？Im probablynot thepersontoask,but,I foundStrazzamo...annoying.兄弟，小丑应该要很好笑But thePaythos谁说的？Mate.A clownis supposedto befunny.大家都这么说Says who天哪Says everyone.你就跟布赖恩科伊尔一样好笑Good God,man.谁？Youre aboutas funnyas BrianCoyle.他是个在酒吧喝酒的家伙他一点都不好笑Who你就坐在那里，带着这种期望Hes abloke whodrinks downmy pub,and heisnotfunny.来吧，娱乐我Youre just,youre justsat there,with thisexpectation.逗我笑，哈Come on,entertain me.是啊，那就是你该做的事Make melaugh.Ha.那是你的工作Yeah.Welt thatswhat you*re supposedto do!是啊，但你也要有意愿才行啊Thats yourjob!天哪Yes,but youhave tobring acertain willingness.如果我连看小丑表演都要自备欢乐Christ!那我还不如回家逗自己开心就好If I have tobring myown funnytoa clown show,我不是指那种奇怪的逗自己开心I mayas wellgo homeand ticklemyself.不对，并不是所有的喜剧都要用笑声来衡量的And I dont meanthe specialtickle.有时候，一个微笑比一个大笑更有意义No.Not allcomedy ismeasured indecibels.对，因为我看到很棒的喜剧时Sometimes,a smileis morevaluable thana laugh!我都会说，天啊，我微笑到头都掉了我就不该期待清洁工看得懂杰作Yeah.Cause whenI seena goodcomedy,最好是杰作，吃屎吧I alwayssay,oh,I smiledmy headoff.别这样，兄弟Wouldnt expecta cleanerto recognisepoetry whenhe seesit.Oh,yeah.Poetry,my sweet,sweet ass!别让我把揍小丑的事迹写进我的履历Dont dothis,mate.啊，你这个庸俗的家伙Dont makeme addbeat theshit out of aclown tomy CV.你从来没有试图去实现什么事Ugh,you philistine!你只是开开心心领薪水然后把自己灌醉Youve nevertried toachieve anything.又是一个军队里的家伙Just happyto getpaid,and getdrunk.是啊Another oneof thearmy.是啊…Yeah.不是每个人都必须要有梦想你有没有想过这一点？Yeah...什么？当然要有Not everyonehastohave a dream,have youever consideredthat我们不能所有人都去当小丑或者消防员有些What Ofcourse theydo.人没有这个嗜好We cantall beclowns,or,or firemen.有些人很满足现况，不需要幻想Some peopledonthavethe inclination.如果你仔细看Some people are happyto be,dont need a fantasy,你可能会发现那些人比你更快乐and if you lookclosely,哦，天哪，真倒霉you mightfind thosepeoplearehappier thanyou.你最好把那个警报器修好，兄弟Oh,dear.Oh,dear me.还有那个该死的门框You wantto getthat alarmsorted,mate.剧场！And,that bloodydoorframe.我的天啊The house!莎莲娜还在里面My God.还有那个小丑…Selina isstill in there.真是可恶And,the clown...好戏上场Zut Alors.我吸入了太多烟Show time.你不会有事的Ive inhaledtoo muchsmoke.这次不一样Youre gonnabe fine.告诉我的家人，我对所有一切都很抱歉Not thistime.不行，保持清醒Tell myfamily Imsorry,for everything.我只是需要时间思考No.Stay withme.嗨，你好I justneed time to think.我也许帮得上忙Hello,there.你不会有事的Perhaps,I canhelp.去把火灾扑灭You*re goingto befine.你是消防员吧？Get thatblaze undercontrol.《驴子男孩》脱衣舞男？脱衣舞男在剧院里做什么？Strippers我必须做该做的事Well,what arestrippers doingat thetheatre好让剧院活下去One doeswhat onemust,莎莲娜？in orderto ensurethe survivalofthetheatre.莎莲娜，快去启动咖啡机Selina我们的朋友肯定口渴了Selina,run andturn on the espressomachine.什么机？Our friendhere must be parched.昨天烫到你手指的那台嘶嘶叫的蒸汽机The wha好痛The hissysteamy machinethat youburnt yourfinger on,yesterday.在这么偏僻的地方，很难找到员工Killed.是啊，我不是要批评，但她好像…很糟Hard tofind thestaff outhere,inthesticks.我不认为她对剧院有热情Yes.Im notone tojudge,but shedoes seemto be...a miserableshit.或者对任何事有热情I dontthink shesyet developedher passionfor thetheatre,我们无法知道自己在这幅伟大的生命织锦中的位置or foranything else,at all.说得太对了，我在她的年纪时我以为我会成为功夫大师We cannotknowwhatour placeis inthis greattapestry oflife.hearts;hearts;我们最终都会找到自己的位置So true.When I was herage,I,I thoughtId be a kung fu master.对，可是据我所知我还没放弃成为功夫大师We allfind ourplace,eventually.hearts;hearts;尽力而为，做你自己Yeah.Fine.But,fortherecord,I stillintend to be akungfumaster.如果你不能成为天上的星就像萤火虫一样闪耀吧Do whatyou can,being whoyou are.Shine likea glow-worm,if you can*tbea star.拜托，谁能帮帮忙？Youre afireman,arent youPlease.Can youhelp!收到了，把火扑灭我可以把喷射机开向火场希望能把火给扑灭Roger that,control.天啊I couldbuzz thefire withmy jets,and hopeit blowsit out.我可以在建筑物受损最严重的地方放炸药Oh,boy.把火给炸熄，真的hearts;hearts;I couldput explosivesaround theworst hitpartofthe building,各位，我们只需要一根水管就行了blow thefire out,literally.我们可以用大象！Guys.We justneedahose.大象？We canuse elephant!你正在收看，医生威基Elephant你正在收看，机长威基拆除工威基野蛮人威基等一下Hang on.我就说吧什么？I toldyou.每个人都有梦想What小心头，威基Everyone hasadream.你在说什么？Mind yourhead,Wicky.我说“小心头”，你又撞到门框了What are you talkinabout那比梦到芝士还要糟I said,Mind yourhead”,you hitit onthe doorframe,again.每个人都有梦想That wasworse thana cheesedream.我们有些人只是努力让梦想成真We allhave adream.不要骗自己，威基Some ofus arejust tryinto makeours a reality.；如果我让所有梦想都成真Dont lieto yourselfWicky.事情会变得很奇怪的，相信我If allof mydreams becameareality,反正你是在自己骗自己things wouldget prettyweird,trust me.你甚至连自己的午餐都买不起And,anyway,youre theone whoskidding yourself.hearts;hearts;你就是无法面对你的表演可能不怎么样的事实You canteven affordyour ownlunch.这就是真相rYou justcan tface thefact thatyour actmight notbe anygood.hearts;hearts;r中央剧场Thats whats goin*on,here.你还好吗？hearts;hearts;你说得对Alright别听我胡说，我是个悲观的家伙Youre right.Dont listentome,Im amiserable git.十张票如果今晚我没卖出十张票Ten tickets.hearts;hearts;我就放弃，然后回到金融行业If Idont sellten tonight,别这样，你应该…Im gonnajack itin,go backto finance.不要因为我说的话而放弃No.You should...我已经下定决心了dont giveit upcause ofwhatIsaid.你现在卖了几张票？My mindsmade up.hearts;hearts;九张How manyhave yousold,now总而言之Nine.很高兴认识你，清洁工先生Anyway.嗯Good tomeet you,Mr.Cleaner.你好吗？Yeah.一张票卖多少？Alrighthearts;hearts;英镑How muchare tickets15英镑？那种表演？£

15.15算了，给我一张£15For that这个决定不容易吧？Go on,give meone.不知道是否该煽动Its ahard lineto walk.Isnt it无法实现的梦想的火焰？Knowing whetherone shouldfan theflames,ofadream thatcan neverbe realised你认为我不该买票吧？hearts;hearts;尽力而为，做你自己You dontthink Ishould buya ticket,do you如果你不能成为天上的星就像萤火虫一样闪耀吧Do whatyou can,being whoyou are.如果你不能成为起重机就像滑轮一样努力工作Shine likea glow-worm if you cant beastar.如果你不能驾驶火车就要充分地给轮子上油Work likea pulleyifyoucantbea crane.我觉得这几句有点重复了但我懂你要说什么Grease thewheels fully,ifyoucant drivethetrain.莎莲娜？I mean,it sortarepeats itself,but,I takeyour point.你被开除了Selina谢谢你Youre fired.你不应该抽烟的Thank you.孩子，人终将一死You know,you shouldntsmoke.你以后想做什么？Youve gottadie ofsomething,son.傻瓜，我要当太空人What are you supposedto be是吗？那就是你长大之后想做的事吗？An astronaut,silly.对，不然就当柯柏文Oh,yeah Is that whatyou wantto be,when yougrow up酷Yeah.Or,Optimus Prime.祖？动作快，我们还没拿到门票呢Cool.我们迟到了Joe Comeon,havent gotthe tickets,yet.Were那你呢？late.我？What areyou supposedto be我只是一只萤火虫，孩子Me原来你就是那个清洁工啊？Im justa glow-worm,kid.・犯罪现场-犯罪现场清洁师Oh,youre thecleaner没错-Crime scene.-Crime scene cleaner.他说里面原本一团糟，但你做得很好Oh.Yeah.哦He saiditwasamessinthere.You didan amazingjob.抱歉，是谁说的？Oh.我先生Sorry,who saidthat斯特拉扎莫，那个小丑My husband.我得进去了，不想错过吹大气球的时刻Strazzamo,the clown.妈妈，快点Better getin,dont wannamiss thebigballoonbeing inflated.别再跟那个奇怪的老头说话了Mum!Hurry up!Stop talkingto thatweird oldman.啊，我喜欢你这么说，没错这会给我灵感去清理…Ah.Well,I likethat!Oh,yeah.你说这里发生了什么事，打斗？Thatll giveme inspirationto cleanup...我想《驴子男孩》太快就把场子炒热了what didyou sayhappened here,a fight过了分钟有个女人打起了群架I thinkthe DonkeyBoyz broughtup thetemperature toosoon.1040哇Ten minutesin,we hada40woman brawl.剧院可能不是宣布这件事的好地方Well.但那让我有点兴奋The theatreis probablythe wrongplace toannounce this,•我不打扰你了-好but,that ratherturns meon.《驴子男孩》，取消演出-1*11leave youto it.-Yes.什么？真是够了老天爷啊！What Ah,come on!太棒了，再一次Jesus Christ!什么？Bravo.Encore!跌得太棒了，你真厉害Hello你哪位？The perfectfall.What agift.我哪位？Who areyou我是斯特拉扎莫Who amI谁？I amStrazzamo.我今晚要在这里表演Who不过你什么时候上台Oh,Imperforminghere tonight,我很想看整场表演but listen,what timeareyouon什么？帮我一把我被困在驴子的老二下面了fd loveto seethe wholeshow.时机太完美了What Helpme.Im trappedunder adonkey dick.撞击声穿过我，着地的方式简直太怪了The timingwas perfection.我以为你真的受伤了The soundof impactwent throughme,the landingalmost grotesque.我是真的受伤了I thoughtyou hadgenuinely hurtyourself.你不是故意摔倒？Ihavegenuinely hurtmyself.好，我再说一遍It wasnta deliberatefall我真的受伤了，而且我被卡在老二下面Okay,Im gonnasay itagain.但是，你穿了戏服Ive genuinelyhurt myseltand Imstuck undera dick.这个打扮很经典But,your costume.这不是戏服，我不是小丑！And thelook isiconic.那f你是谁？It snotacostume.Tm notaclown!我来这里打扫的Who areyou我想你会希望我来打扫的Im hereto clean.还是你宁愿让你的观众坐在准新娘聚会的汁液里？I presumeyoud likemetoclean,我说汁液，其实指的是血or wouldyou preferyour audienceto besitting inhen partyjuice还有尿And,by juice,Imeanblood.你只是个清洁工？And,piss!我是犯罪现场清洁师Youre justa cleanerIam a crime scenecleaner.你浪费了大好的天赋你异常地高，胖得很好笑What awaste ofsuch naturalattributes.你再戳我一下你就不需要那个红鼻子了Freakishly tall.Hilariously fat.实际上，鼻子更像是个象征You pokeme again,you wontneed thatred nose.这是我和观众之间的一种隐性契约Actually,the...nose ismore ofa symbol.我是在威胁你Its sortof animplicit contractbetween meand theaudience-啊，你太会威胁了Im threateningyou!我都起鸡皮疙瘩了，真可怕Ah,thats reallygood.你要把这个放哪？Gave mechills.Really scary.那是意式浓缩咖啡吗？Where do you wantthis太棒了Isthatan espresso我也可以来一杯吗？Delightful.但你可以用肯雅咖啡豆吗？Could Lcould Ihave onetoo,不要用意大利的but youcould makesure itsthe Kenyanbean,中央剧场as opposedto theItalian你穿的是犯罪…hearts;hearts;犯罪现场调查装，没错，犯罪现场Now,this isa sock...真厉害SOCO suit,yeah.Scene OfCrime.我可以用这套服装来做点什么一些苏联时代的东西Its wonderful.斯特拉扎莫在冷战背景下I canreally dosomething withit,something Sovietera.与苏维埃俄罗斯一起承担了人类的灭绝Strazzamo takesontheextinction ofhumanity,hearts;hearts;hearts;against thebackdrop ofthe ColdWar,with Soviet嘿…这让我想起了那个笑话，你记得吗？Russia.你怎么叫一个有三颗睾丸的俄罗撕人Hey.Hey,yo,it remindsmeofthat joke,doyouremember thathearts;hearts hearts;什么？What,what doyou calla Russianwith threeballs一个有三颗睾丸的俄罗斯人你会怎么叫他？Whathearts;hearts;hearts;我不知道，而且我不确定我想知道A Russianwith threeballs,what doyou callhim；你一定想知道…Idontknow and Im notsure Iwanttoknow.抱歉，〃你偷了谁的睾丸？”You do.你可以把这个笑话用在表演上Sorry.Whod younick yourbollock off什么You canuse thatin yourshow.“尼托勒什德科夫”What不，我刚才就听懂了，谢谢Oo-junik-yabalak-ov.他说你可以免费喝这一杯No,I heardyou thefirst time.Thank you.但你如果要喝第二杯就要付钱He saysyoucanhave thisone forfree,谢谢but youllhavetopay forthe others.是啊，就跟我的笑话一样嘿，你会喜欢这个笑话的Bless you.什么？Yeah,just likemy jokes.Hey,youll likethis.你怎么叫一个有三颗睾丸的俄罗撕人Ehhearts;hearts hearts;她不会知道的，她太年轻了What doyou calla Russianwith threeballs她听得懂啦，这很有名She wontknow it,shes tooyoung.她年还在操场上玩呢Yeah,she will,ifs famous.1985“你偷了谁的睾丸？”In theplayground,in

1985.什么Whod younick yourbollock off太扯了Wha难搞的观众Nonsense.不对Tough crowd.粉红色贵妇狗，真有创意Nope.你好啊，拍档，这要用在哪一段表演？Pink poodle.So original.哪都不用Howdy,partner.What partoftheshows thisItisnt.是哦，那这个呢？我知道了，这些是《驴子男孩》的道具吧？Oh.This那当然Oh!These arethe DonkeyBoyzs props,arent they你需要一个性感的小丑吗？Clearly.也许这是个全新的市场？Could youhaveasexy clown我倾向于远离最低共同特点的东西Might bea wholenew marketfor ya那当然I tendto steeraway fromlowest commondenominator stuff.你是怎么成为小丑的？Clearly.我很晚才获得这个使命感How*dyoueven becomeaclown马戏团到镇上表演吗？I gotthe calling,late inlife.马戏团很有魅力的Did thecircus cometo town我表妹跟其中一个烟熏妆的男孩搞上了They canbe veryseductive.她说他是照顾马的My cousingot upthe dufffrom oneofthosesmokey-eyed boys我想他的名字叫鲁尔who tenderhorses,her words.我儿子两岁生日的时候我们请了一个小丑I thinkhis namewas Raul.他在最后一秒说自己病了Wed hiredaclownfor oursons secondbirthday,我知道自己不能让那些孩子失望and lastminute,he calledin sick.他说他哪里不舒服？I justknew Icouldnt letthose kidsdown.我想他说他得了关节炎What didhesaywas wrong with him最好是I thinkhe saidhe hadarthritis.因为关节炎众所皆知会在一夜之间发作，对吧？Oh,yeah.他是宿醉Because arthritisfamously comeson overnight,doesnt it你请了一个喝醉的小丑，继续说He washungover.我找到了一些气球You hireda pissedclown.Carry on.还有我太太的化妆品然后我不知道发生了什么事I foundsome balloons,我开始表演，感觉就像自然而然地and someof mywifes make-up,andIdunno whathappened,then.从某个地方涌出I juststarted toperform,and itjust seemedto comeoutofme.我就成了…小丑Flow fromsomewhere.孩子们笑了I justbecame...theclown.他们笑了又笑And,the childrenlaughed.我办到了They laughed,and laughed.对I wasa triumph.因为众所皆知要逗小孩子笑可不容易，不是吗？Right.我侄子只要听到班戟这个词就会笑到尿裤子Because toddlersare famouslyhard tomake laugh,arent they那孩子是个傻子My nephewlaughs atthe wordpancake,he literallypisses himself.其实我们真的认为他有问题Boys amoron.就在那时，我知道我已经无意间找到了我的命运Actually,we,we dothink there*s somethingwrongwithhim.第二天，我就辞职了I knewthere andthen,that Ihad stumbledupon mydestiny.跟什么辞职？现实生活？I resignedthe nextday.不是，我是一名企业金融顾问From whatReality其实正要成为公司合伙人你没在开玩笑吧？No,Iwasa corporatefinancial advisor,hearts;hearts;just abouttobemade partner,actually.在一个月内，我用我的积蓄Youre notjoking,areyou投资在巴黎的马歇马叟默剧学校在法国？Within amonth,Id usedmy savingsto investinthe MarcelMarceau Schoolof Mime,in Paris.对，巴黎In France那你呢？Paris,yes.你是怎么成为犯罪现场清洁师的？And,what aboutyou我朋友说有个清洁工作How didyou becomeacrimescenecleaner但是专门清洁犯罪现场的我去申请就上了嗯，你喜欢这份工作吗？My matesaid therewasajob goin\cleanin,but forcrime scenes,and,I applied,and,I gotit.我还是继续工作吧Hmm.And,you loveit你结婚了吧？I betterget on.And,youre married,yeah。