The Cleaner《犯罪现场清理员（2021）》第二季第三集完整中英文对照剧本

你是认真的吗？这是我遇到过最糟糕的事Are youserious要知道，我的前未婚妻因为的士司机离开我This isthe worstthing that*s everhappened to me.我妈去世了，我医生说我最近特别胖And bearin mindand oldfiance leftme for a taxidriver,我停在酒吧外面my mumis deadand mydoctor recentlydescribed meas uniquelyfat.你却说我不能进去？Im parkedoutside thepub.我都准备好要喝啤酒了And youretelling meI cantgo in我手臂弯好要拿酒杯了你却要我去执行夜间任务？My mouthis primedfor beer.我告诉你什么才是紧急情况My pintarm ispre-bent and you wantme togo on a nightjob就是我把卖场特价的点心放到嘴里Ill tellyou what*s anemergency.什么？hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;Megetting mygob roundsoft padreof Mervinsbuy of the month.鹿肉？那有什么关系？What是啊，我如果是最好的为什么烂工作都交给我？Venison What does thatmatter嗯…我现在就过去Yeah.Well ifTm thebest whydo Ikeep theshitty jobs我可得吃上一块批Yeah.Yeah.Tm onmy way.再见Well Imhaving abloody pie.要在深夜清理体液，真是谢谢你啊Cheers.哦对不起，你得做你的工作Late nightspooge clean,thanks forthis.哦，是啊，我打赌其他人都没空真有意思Oh sorryyou haveto doyour job.Oh yeah,I betno-one elsewas available,funny that.你在说什么，笨蛋？嗯，说吧，什么情形？What are you onabout youknob.迷你批Truce.我待会再吃Mini pie.为了你的计划？Fil saveit.对For yourproject哦，看看这个，我一直很想要一台Yeah.我早上没喝咖啡就动不了Oh look at that.Ive alwayswanted one of these.就像电影《阿甘正传》中的丹中尉I cantwalk untilTve hadmy coffeein themorning,你知道的，除夕夜他在地板上Im likeLieutenant Danfrom ForrestGump.爬的时候You know,when hesdragging himselfacross thefloor其实蛮令人心碎的on NewYears Eve.真正展现了这些人的牺牲奉献It*s heartbreakingactually.总之我喜欢咖啡Really bringshome thesacrifice ofthose guys.嗯，人体依赖加工过的刺激侪Anyway Ilove coffee.hearts;hearts lj我的天啊，这个要一千两百英镑Yes thehuman bodyis relianton processedstimulants,baa.是啊，叫他们付多少他们就付多少Oh mygod.It*s1200quid.它能做什么？Yes,so theypay whatthey*re toldto pay.它让众人得到宝贵的灵丹妙药What doesit do你能想到一个更没价值的消费品吗？It makesthe massestheir preciouselixir.猫的手提包Can youname amore worthlesspiece ofconsumerism什么？Handbag for a cat.我朋友维索说，人类成就的极致就是What这些东西能执行它们的主要功能My mateWeasel says that thezenith ofhuman achievementsgonna be也能满足你的欲望when thingslike thiscan dotheir primaryfunction,如何满足？but theycan alsopleasure you.我不知道Pleasure how他说了r什么在前面加一个I dont know.橡胶挤奶器，就像这样He saidsomething aboutfitting arubber cow像这样to thefront ofit soit wouldbe something like,这个其实还不错，它有扶手所以很好上somethinglikethis.住手，不要This onesquite goodactually itsgot railsso you can hit.我知道，这很疯狂Stop.No.我对他说，维索I know,its madisnt it.你不能和咖啡机和多士炉做爱I saidto him,Weasel,hearts;hearts;天啊，它们很热是有原因的you cantbang coffeemachines天啊，我就知道人们和无生命的物体通奸and toastersfor godssake,theyre hotfor areason.任何东西都可以麻痹大众God knewit,people fornicatingwith inanimateobjects.Anything to anaesthetize thepopulous.我们生活在一个反乌托邦中你的朋友可能是一位先知We areliving in a dystopia.维索？哦，不，他疯了，而且没工作Your friendmay bea prophet.嗯，是的，我们多么迅速Weasel Oh no hesbonkers,and unemployable.就将持有不同观点的人归类Mm,yes,how quickwe areto pigeonholethose你现在听起来很像他，朋友with differentviews.你得小心点Youre startingto soundlike himnow mate.他告诉我他不想接种新冠疫苗You wannabe careful.因为他想控制进入他体内的东西He told me hesnot havingthe Covidjab想知道进到他体内的是什么吗？because hewants tocontrol whatgoes intohis body.只有啤酒和烟肉Wanna knowknow whatgoes intohis body嗯，至少你能理解这一切多没意义Beer andbacon andnothing else.你知道的，虚无主义是我…Well,at leastyou canunderstand theworthlessness ofit all.哦，我走运了，无人机You knownihilism is a conceptthat Ive...我一直也很想要一台这种东西Ooh jackpot,drone.嗯，真讽刺，为什么？Ive alwayswanted oneof thesetoo.它会飞Mm,the irony,why我们拿去外面玩吧It flies.我认为你应该多注意一下你朋友，维索Lets goand playwith thisoutside.他都知道I thinkyou shouldpay moreattention to your friend,Weasel.朋友，他在篝火之夜上用胶带把他的手机粘在烟火上He knows.hearts;hearts;为什么？Mate,he ductedtape hisphone toa rocketon bonfirenight.因为他想证明地球是平的Why结果他证明了如果你把手机粘在烟火上Because hewanted toprove theEarth wasflat,hearts;hearts;保险公司不会理赔what heproved isinsurance companieshearts;hearts;好吧，那你能证明地球不是平的，对吗？dont payout if you tapeyour phonetoafirework.清洁工Mm,okay,and you,youcanprove thatit isnt flat canyou huh是的，地平说支持者，打勾Cleaner man.我是犯罪现场清洁师Yep,flat earther,tick.这里没人需要中弹Im acrime scenecleaner.朋友，我得继续了No-one hereneeded to get shot.我想我们已经很清楚彼此没有共同立场Mate,I need to geton.这栋建筑物里没人需要中弹I thinkweve establisheda completelack ofcommon ground.是吗？谁告诉你的？No-one inthis buildingneeded to get shot.皇室的蜥蜴？Yeah Whotold youthat继续套我的话啊，这是羊喜欢做的事情The lizardsfrom theroyal family捕羊人Go ahead,snare,its whatthe sheeplike to do.这是文字游戏，继续说Sheep snarer.我会先做好准备Its aplay onwords,go on.I wouldvebeen prepared.朋友，两名歹徒抢劫你的商店你要怎么先做好准备？我不会被他们抢Mate,how canyou planfor twogoons robbingyour shop不会，你会躲进雪柜I wouldnt have beenrobbed.那你试试看，来抢我啊No,you wouldVegot intoa freezer.哦，拜托Go onthen,try robme.来嘛，试着抢我看看Oh come on.No comeon,try robme go on.把咖啡机交出来将军，羊Hand overthe coffeemachine.噢，天啊Checkmate,sheep.不…Oh god,.你为什么要开第三个雪柜？No...的概率呢？Why did you checkthe thirdfreezer83%我知道你会躲在这里我预测到了，我计划好了What about the83%-我还太年轻-你不算年轻I knewyoud be in here,I predictedit,I planned.我还不想死-Im tooyoung.-Youre notthat young.你活够久了Im tooyoung todie.我不能就这样死掉You*ve hada goodinnings.在雪柜里This cantbe howit ends.变成最后一块鱼柳In a freezer.消失在雪柜底部，孤独的人类手臂I amthe lastfish finger,哦，朋友，冷静，放松点，这不是真的lost atthe bottomof thefreezer,the lonelyhuman arm.一个装通心粉的盒子Oh matecalm downrelax,its not real.已经在那里放七年了，扔了吧，妈A Tupperwareof boxof bolognese.妈！Its beenthere sevenyears,throw itaway mum.什么叫这不是真的？Mum.不，这不是真的，是演练的一部分What doyou meanits notrealNo itsnotreal,it*s partof thedrill.什么演练？我的演练，世界末日的演练What drill我以为这就是我们在这里到处跑的原因My drill,the end of daysdrill,对不起I thoughtthats what we weredoing,we wererunning arounddoing.你这个奇怪的小家伙Sorry.你这个奇怪的滑头高腰裤碗盖头四叶论坛的匿名者、新闻台…You odd little man.混蛋hearts;hearts;Q GBYouoddlittlegreasy bowlcut highwaisted,4chan QAnon,GB News,hearts;hearts;我想说你看起来也很投入bell end.我可以从雪柜里出来了吗？Thought youwere quite into,you seemedquiteintoit.当然，我帮你Can Iget outof thefreezer please我自己来Yeah surelet megive youa hand.帮我一下I cando it.哦，你好黏Well helpme.员工专用Oh youre so clammy.谢谢不好喝，他们用的是廉价茶包Ta.是啊，我阿嫡总说湿了就湿了It wonttaste nice,they usecheap teabags.现在说出来了，我才意识到它毫无意义Yeah,well mygranny alwayssaid ifits wet,its wet.抱歉刚才吓到你了…Now Ivesaid thatout loudIve realizedits meaningless.朋友，你为什么会有一把假枪？Sorry forscaring earlierwith the...这是吓人用的，是我计划的一部分Mate,why haveyou gota fakegun你太紧张了，坐下Its adeterrent.Its partof myproject.你的茶在哪里？You areso uptight.Sit down.我留下来了Wheres yourtea什么意思？I savemine.每次休息时我都会留下茶包What doyou mean为什么你不从那边偷一盒？Every timeI go for abreak,I savethe bag.噢，他们会吝于给你几个茶包？Why dont you justnick abox fromover there当然，我们只是这个1游戏中的棋子Oh right,and they!!begrudge youa fewteabags加上她是一个心理变态Course,we arejust pawnsof thegame.hearts;hearts;那个经理吗？Plus isa psychopath.她把这里当成保安机构来经营Is thatthe manager对She runsthis placelike asecurity facility.她似乎非常怕Yeah.我们进去她那间珍贵的办公室She didseem prettykeen你进去过吗？that wedidnt gointo herprecious office.你有进去过那个邪恶的巢穴吗？You everdone it有尝过禁果吗？You everbeen in the evillair当然没有，那么做可是会被解雇的Tasted theforbidden fruitCoursenot,thats asackable offence.嗯，她不能解雇我来吧，相信我，办公室里有啤酒Well,she cantsack me.・我有办法•不要Come on,there*s beerin thatroom,trust me.清洁工，住手-I havea gift.-No.经理Cleaner manstop.我真不敢相信有些老派，朋友I cantbelieve it.现在女人也喝啤酒了A bitold fashionedmate,我去的酒吧里有个女人她可以把你灌倒women todrink beersthese daysyou know.她身上还有纹身呢Theres awoman downmy pubshed drinkyou underthe tableson.其实她不是女人，而是…And thetattoos onher.但我仍然坚信我的观点，女人也喝啤酒Actually thatsnot awoman thats...那是But Istand bymy point,women dodrink beers.420什么？Its

420.我在看那个小雪柜Eh它不该在这里面的Ifs themini fridgeIm lookingat.那个果汁机It shouldntbeinhere.咖啡机The juicer.蒸气挂熨机The coffeemachine.私密处剃刀The clothessteamer.The intimaterazor.呃！这些都是从店内偷来的Eurgh.她是负责查账的This hasall beenstolen from the shop floor.天晓得她偷了多少东西问家And shesin chargeof theaudits.哦，打电话给总部，告发她God knowswhat shesgot squirrelledaway athome.hearts;hearts;天哪Oh,ring HeadOffice,grass herup.那里有一个便携式烤肉架Oh god.那也是从店里偷来的Theres amini grillthere.他们甚至不让我们在店里吃冷食Thats stolenfromtheshopfloortoo.她居然在烤肉Were noteven allowedto eatcold foodin thebuilding.权力会让人腐败我的朋友And shesgrilling.hearts;hearts;,权力会让人腐败Power corruptsmy friend.hearts;hearts;来吧Power corrupts.什么？Go onthen.打开那罐啤酒，告诉我你的理论吧What不能在这里Well popthat beerandyoucan tellme yourtheory.这会阻断无线电信号Not inhere.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;那是当然They blockradio signals.说吧，我们有什么计划？Yeah coursethey do.崩塌即将到来Come onthen,whatweplanning forrThecollapse.It scoming.好的在我们继续之前，我需要问你一些问题Okay.-准备好了吗？・嗯Before wego anyfurther Ineedtoask yousome questions.事件有发生吗？■有-Ready-Yep.-911是美国人自己策划的吗？-9/11,did ithappen-Yep.当然不是Did theAmericans planit themselves卢肯伯爵，他是否挫尖自己的牙齿Of coursethey didnt.像猴子一样住在巴西雨林中？Lord Lucan,did hefile hisown teethdown这是在干嘛？and ishe living in aBrazilian rainforest likea monkey请回答问题，登陆月球是真的吗？What isthis是的Please justanswer thequestions.Did themoon landingshappen对我来说，这个问题很关键甘乃迪遇刺事件呢？-Yep.-Good.是的，被李哈维奥斯华枪杀的That wasa dealbreaker forme,JFK好的，你通过测试了Yep,shot byLee HarveyOswald.谁才是蜥蜴人？Oh rightyou*ve passedthe test.我就知道，欢迎你，大卫艾克Who wasa reptile.我不是阴谋论者，好吗？I knewit.Welcome DavidIke.那是什么？Im not a conspiracytheorist alright.我的新冠疫苗接种证明Whats that我郑重声明，世界不是平的All myCovid vaccinations.And forthe recordthe worldisn*tflat.听着，有一个事件即将要发生了什么样的事件？Look,an eventis coming.他们还没有决定What sortof event他们？They haventdecided yet.可能是核武战争可能是疾病、可能是饥荒They.Might benuclear war,might bedisease,might befamine.好吧，抢劫商店出了差错一人死亡，一人严重受伤Yeah yeahcomeon.What wentdown经理就在附近，她会告诉你详情Oh wellstore robberygone wrong,one dead,one critical.她很难搞，你们会处得很好的Managers aroundsomewhere shellfill youin,好right piece of workshe is,youll geton well.你是怎么了？Fine.哦…你还没听说吗？What iswrong withyou我和朱尔斯分手了Oh,oh you havent heard哦，我不知道，我真的很抱歉We splitup.Me andJules.我想也是Oh I hadnt,no Fmreally sorry.哦，也许你可以提醒一下分配工作的人Sure youare.让我在我家附近工作，白天工作更好Oh maybenow youcan nudgethe personthat givesoutthejobs,工作分配跟我没有关系be niceto worknear myhouse,or evenI dontknow,in theday.没有I donthave anythingtodowith whogets thejobs.因为警察从来不把工作分配出去，对吧？No.hearts;hearts;嘿，我现在是一个单身的失败者这种惩罚可以停止了Because thepolice neversend thejobs outdo they.很高兴见到你Hey Ima singleloser now,the punishmentcan stop.你现在要去酒吧吗？Well itsbeen lovelyseeing you.祝你玩得愉快You offdown theHorse我做完了要给你发信息吗？Have anice time.我才不要你发信息给我，得了吧Want meto textyou whenIm done好的I dont you want you totext mefull stop.这肯定是真的Right.毕竟是一个在电器用品仓库上架货物的人告诉我的And itmust betrue听着，你想怎么做都行，好吗？cause aman whostacks shelvesin anelectronics warehousetoldme.我告诉你只是因为你肯跟我说话Look,do whatyou wannado alright.生活在那里肯定很辛苦I onlytold youbecause youbothered talkingtome.在哪里？Must behard livingup there.在你的脑子中Up where嘿In yourhead.怎样？Oi.我一直很想骑骑看这个，你不想吗？What你不能这么做Ive alwayswanted togo oneof thesehavent youYoumustnt.食物和饮水你打算怎么办？我有足够的水，可以让我撑过个月What you gonna dofor foodand drink36讲到食物Ive gotenough waterto last me36months.我投资了这个Now forfood,完整的营养Ive investedin these.是太空计划用的Complete nutrition,你在开玩笑吧？used bythe spaceprogram.我不开玩笑的Are youkidding那可以让我撑过够长的时间直到辐射值下降I do not kid.然后在那之后我会穿上防护衣做短程旅行That willlastmelong enoughuntil theradiation levelsdie down.你有防护衣吗？And thenafter thatIll doshort tripsin myhazmat suit.当然有，那是最贵的物品Which youhave我得加班好儿周才买得起那玩意Of coureI do,it wasthe mostexpensive item.hearts;hearts;但事件一开始就会消灭人类，对吧？Ihadto workweeks ofovertime toget thatbastard.完全正确But theinitial eventsgonna wipeus allout right就像政府不想让你活下去一样Exactly.hearts;hearts;嗯，祝你不会在沙发上Its almostlike thegovernment dontwantyouto survive.呼吸到放射性粒子，你们这些笨蛋Huh,good lucknot breathingradioactive particles天哪，老兄，听起来你盖了一座地堡through yoursofa youbloody lemmings.什么？Bloody hellmate youresounding likeyouve builta bunker.What在哪？在我的园地内，盆栽棚下面Where怎么盖的？In myallotment.Under thepotting shed.怎么可能建一个地堡？How研究、时间、明智的采购How doyou evenbuild a bunker那它在哪里？Research,time,judicious purchase.它只够一个人躲Well whereis it我不想跟你一起躲在地堡里，你这笨蛋Its onlybig enoughfor onemate.我不想在世界末日中存活下来I dontwanna shareyour bunkeryou daftsod.什么？为什么？I dontwanna survivean apocalypse.因为我觉得有地堡的人没几个What Why嗯，我想大家应该都没有I don*t imaginemany peoplehave gotabunker.对，所以不会有太多人活下来Huh,I don*t imaginethey have.对，很少Right,so therewont bemany survivors.那有什么意义？Yeah verylimited.什么叫那有什么意义？So whats the point这个嘛，你打算做什么？What doyou meanwhatsthepoint It.穿着你的防护衣散步旁边一个人都没有？Well whatyougonnado生活的重点在于其他人Wander aroundif yourhazmat suit,meeting no-one关系、派对、朋友、酒Lifes aboutother people,relationships,parties,friends,booze.酒和朋友独自一个人算什么生活？Booze andfriends.穿着防护衣在烧焦的大地上漫步What sortof lifeareyougonna havealone拜托一下，那样的生活有什么意义？Wandering acrossa scorchedearth ina hazmatsuit alone.我得走了，我还有事情要做…Come on,what sortof life*sthat嗯…当然，凯I betterget going,Tve gotstuff todo in the...什么事？Yeah,yeah,yeah.Course.Kai.你为什么要那个名牌？Yeah人们说，与世隔绝儿个月后What didyou wantthat namebadge for你会搞不清楚自己是谁They sayafter monthsof isolation你要走了？you losesense ofwho youare.对，全部都清理好了You goingthen老板会很高兴的Yeah.All clean.除了不见的啤酒以外The bosswill behappy.别担心她的事Apart fromthe missingbeers.像她这种人会得到应有的报应Dont youworry abouther,某个声音告诉我总部有可能会发现people likethat getwhats comingto them.我带了这个给你Something tellsme HeadOffice mightfind out.太空棒I broughtyou this.谢谢你A spacebar.Thank you.我死之前会在沙发下好好享受的嘿，我回家稍微睡一会儿后Ill enjoythat undermy sofajust beforeI perish.我要去酒吧喝几杯，你想一起来吗？Hey,after Ivebeen homeforanap顺便纠正维索一些错误的想法？Im gonnaup theHorse fora coupleof pintsif youfancy it谢谢你的邀请You canput Weaselright ona fewthings hey但我还有事要做，谢谢你No thank you forthe offer,谢谢你Ive gotthings todo andyou know,thankyou.你要去园地那里？Thank you.对啊You goingup theallotment万一你错了怎么办？Yeah.错了？What happensif yourewrong关于世界末日Wrong如果你就是得继续活下去呢？About the endofdays.我没有错What happensif youjust haveto keepon living嗯Im notwrong.好好照顾自己No.致总部失窃物品Look afteryourself.夜班好的这就是我今晚的工作Right.说真的，这些人星期五怎么不去喝一杯Well thatsme hereall night.杀人有什么好让人放松的呢？Honestly thesepeople nevergofora pintonaFriday.哦，对不起，我是罗森的清洁师Whats sorelaxing aboutmurdering你一定吓坏了吧Oh.Sorry LIm fromLausen thecleaners,-真是一场噩梦■嗯this musthave beenvery traumatic.一场活生生的噩梦-Its anightmare.-Yeah.我是说，你看这个，我不能卖了A livingnightmare.hearts;hearts;哦，别担心，我可以把它弄干净I meanlook atthis I cant sellthis.最好是盖子上有弹孔的压力锅还能用Oh dontworry I,I canclean thatoff.我是说，如果你认为这值得一试的话Well goodluck usinga pressurecooker witha bullethole inthe lid.我可以让你以的折扣买回去I meanifyouthink itsworth apunt,35%hearts;hearts;老实说I couldlet youhave itat35%markdown.我根本不知道那能干嘛Honestly可以煮饭，加压煮饭I dontknow whatthey do.如果你这么聪明那代表什么呢？Well theycook.Under pressure.WiFi有人不说话了Well ifyouresoclever whatdoes WiFistand forthenSomeones gonequiet.保险公司会说什么？hearts;hearts;这不算不可抗力吧？What willinsurance haveto say两名持枪的毒贩抢劫，看看这个It*s hardlyforce majeureis it这个也报废了Two armed druggies onthe rob,lookatthis.一看起来没问题啊•等等This isa rightoff aswell.为什么我要退货？-Looks alright.-Wait.哦，它的中央处理器上面有血Why amI returningithearts;hearts;而且现在只能播德国电视台Oh itsgot bloodon itscentral processor枪击和血液毁损不在保固内吗？and nowit onlyplays GermanTV.我不认为Gunshot andblood damageisnt inthe warrant我听说你们有两名同事受伤其中一名过世了I didntthink so.哦天哪，真是太可怕了rI heartwo ofyour colleagueswere hurt,as inoneofthem slike dead.我是说，我可以用特伦特来代替多莉那不是问题Oh godits justawful.他很灵活，多莉也还在培训中，但…I meanIcanreplace Dollywith Trentno problem,you know,也许他明天就会好起来hes flexibleand Dollywas intraining anyway,but...我的意思是，他只中了两枪Well maybehell beokay tocome intomorrow,你认为他能上夜班吗？I meanhe wasonly shottwice.当然不行Do youthink hellbe alrightfor lateshift我很肯定，你也可以把多莉排除在外Of coursenot.员工休息室里有水，要喝请自便Im prettysure youcan ruleDolly outtoo.但请勿在任何情况下Help yourselfto waterinthestaffroom进去我的办公室but pleasedonotenter myoffice再见under anycircumstances.再见，谢谢你提醒我为什么我没有结婚Goodbye.什么？Bye.Thanks forreminding mewhy Inever married.压力锅是吧？What现代人实在太厉害了Pressure isit好吧Arent theyclever thesedays.我原以为今晚这里没人工作Alright.这一切很可怕，对吧？I didntthink anyonewas workinghere tonight.是啊，情况还会变得更糟Awful innitWhat happened.这只是个开始Yeah,its abouttogeta lotworse.你还好吗？This isjust thebeginning.那可以给我吗？Alright哦，嗯，当然可以Can Ihave that谢谢Oh,yeah godof course.这一定很…你认识她吗？Thanks.跟认识其他人没什么差别Must bereally-didyouknow her哦，所以她不是朋友或什么的？In asmuch aswe knowanyone.我想想，她是一名实习销售员Oh right,she wasnta mateor anythinghearts;hearts;而我是夜班货物上架员Let methink,she wasa traineesales staffs你不相信吧？谢谢你的关心and Imthe nightshelf stacker,生活继续下去，对吧？doubt thatdontyou,doubt thatvery muchthanks forasking.什么？Life goeson hey.就好像她从未存在过一样What如果她没惊慌失措，那她可能就还活着Like shewas neverhere.什么？Well shehadn*thavepanicked thenshe mightbe.她像无头苍蝇一样直接跑向紧急出口Eh恐慌会让人做出不合逻辑的举动甚至死亡She randirectly forthe emergencyexit likea headlesschicken.相当合乎逻辑吧Panic makespeople illogicaband deadit seems.如果你被一名持枪的毒贩追赶你不会跑向出口吗？Pretty logicalinnit it直接跑在高速武器的射程上，嗯If yourebeing chasedby anarmeddruggie,run forthe exit非常明智，非常合乎逻辑Running directlyintheline offire ofa highvelocity weapon,mm,你让我想起一个我在学校里的同学very sensible,very logical.嗯You remindme ofa kidI wentto schoolwith.最后他被开除了Yeah.因为他蓄意淹死了学校的蜥蜴He gotexpelled intheend不，抱歉，我不是绵羊for deliberatingdrowning theschool lizard.那你会怎么做？No Imsorry Imnotasheep.我会直接勒死它What wouldyouhavedone我不是说蜥蜴，我是说在这种情况下I wouldVejust strangledit.冷冻区Not with the lizard.In thissituation这是仓库的地图Freezer section.我会跑出那个门This isa mapofthewarehouse.然后沿着这条平行通道走What Iddo,Id haverun outthat doorokay,这些柱子提供了完美的掩护up thisparallel aisle.这不是你第一次想这些，对吧？These uprightsprovide perfectcover.太厉害了This isntthe firsttime youvethought aboutthis isit你想活下去吗？Fascinating.是的，抱歉，里安纳逊我想活下去，继续说Do you want tolive那接下来你会怎么做？因为那里是死路Yes,sorry LiamNeeson,I do,goon.是吗？Whatdoyou donext thenBecause thatisadead end.你要进入卧式雪柜里Oh really是吗？You getinside thechest freezer.这就是你的伟大计划？躲进雪柜？Thats it是的Thats yourgreat plan,get intoafreezer那些没有在运转Yeah.绝对安全They*re notfunctional.盖子打开，侧滚进去Its perfectlysafe.他们轻易就能找到你的Lift up,barrel rollin.怎么找？请告诉我Theyll findyou easily.他们会把所有雪柜的盖子都掀开How Dotell.直到他们找到你躲的雪柜，傻瓜By liftingall thelids ofthe freezers错了until youfind theone youwere inyou daftknob.你这是假设他能理性思考Wrong.他现在慌了，他认为你跑掉了，对吧？Youre presumingthat hesthinking logically.他最多检查两个雪柜就会离开Hes panickingnow,he thinkshes lostyou right这里有个雪柜Hes checkinga maximumof twofreezers beforehe leaves.12这让你有的生存机会There are12freezers here,83%我认为多莉会选择这个概率你不这么认为吗？that leavesyou an83%chance ofsurvival.你这个傻瓜I thinkDolly woulcfvetaken thoseodds,dontyou好吧，我想我们永远不会知道You daftknob.他们在听Well Iguess wellnever know.你要它干什么？They*re listening.要什么？What didyouwantit for死掉的女孩的名牌Want whatfor为了一个计划The deadgirls namebadge.它们通常一包有五个，但我只需要一个For aproject.啊，所以你是节俭的守财奴？They normallycome fiveinapack butI justneeded theone.所以在你们看来Ah,so itsthrift isit scrooge不浪费东西就是守财奴？So notbeing wasteful哦不…我说的是托尼史古基makes meEbeneezer Scroogetoyoupeople doesit他在白马酒吧喝酒Ohno,no,no,Im talkingabout Tony Scrooge,他会为免费啤酒出卖他的祖母who drinksdown theWhite Horse.f hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;Hed rathis nanout跟你说，她很难搞forafree pint.她因为把一只警犬踢到车库屋顶上被关进监狱Mind you,shes apieceofwork,hearts;hearts;she wentdown for好吧，或许托尼史古基的情况不同kicking apolice dogonto agarage roof.他也在夜班上架货物赚取最低工资？Well maybeTonyScroogehas differentcircumstances.哦，朋友，我不是这个意思Does healso stackshelves atnight forminimum wage没关系，我很习惯被人轻视Oh mateI didntmean to.但这种情形不会持续多久No thatsalright,Im usedto beingtalked downto.改变即将到来But notfor muchlonger.什么？The changeis coming.你很快就会看到Hey你有想过从事儿童娱乐的工作吗？Youll soonsee.你有想过和羊群一起生活吗？You everthought abouta careerin childrensentertainment这只是个开始You everthought aboutlivingina penwiththerest ofthe sheep光明会或共济会？This isjust thebeginning.情况还会变得更糟，非常糟恐慌会让人做出不合逻辑的举动Its abouttogeta lotworse,a lotworse.改变即将到来Panic makespeople illogical.你很快就会看到The changeis coming.你这个傻瓜Youll soonsee.凯，本月最佳员工You daftknob.哦休战Oh.。