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欲望城市(性爱专家凯莉布雷萧)做爱伙伴hearts;hearts;前几天我遇见一位朋友史奇普hearts;hearts;他看起来很受伤神情恍惚IranintomyfriendSkipperonthestreettheotherday.他刚跟一位女生分手Hewasbruised andfrantic.就在我以为我们之间很顺利时Hedjustbrokenupwithanothergirl.她们突然间提出分手Imean,Ithoughteverythingwasgoingfine.她认为是哪里出了错?Thatswhentheytiptoeupandclobberyou.史奇普你很贴心Well,whatdidshesayshethoughtwaswrong这不是因为你做错什么Skipper,youreaverysweetguy.只是因为我们在不同的处境Imean,thisisntaboutanything youdid.我们对生活的追求不同Itsjustthatwereinverydifferentplacesrightnow.我需要多一点独处的时间Wewantdifferentthingsfromlife.我们有着相同的需要IfeellikeIneedtospendmoretimealone.花多一点时间跟你在一起So,actually,wewantthesamething.三个月前Weboth wanttospendmoretimewithyou.一位名叫蒂芙妮的牙医保健员也这么说Threemonthsbeforethat现在的时机不对itwasadentalhygienistnamedTiffany.你是我认识最好的人之一Thetimingiswrong,thatsall.我觉得现阶段我需要Youreone ofthenicestguysIveeverknown.将重心放在事业上ItsjustthatIfeellikeIvereachedatimeinmylifewhenIneedtofocusonmycareer.晚餐Hey,doyouwanttohavedinnerFridaynight好Dinner我看一下行程我想没问题Uh...yeah,sure.很好Ishouldcheckmyschedule,butIthinkIcanmakeit.八点钟怎么样?Great.八点十五分Youwanttosay,likeuh...8:00就这样我打破我的模式How about8:15凯莉你不能跟做爱伙伴约会And justlikethat,Ibrokemypattern.hearts;hearts;再大声一点Carrie,youcantdateyourfuckbuddy.后面那位女士没听到Mm,sayitalittlelouder.把纯粹用来享受性爱Idontthinktheold ladyinthelastrowheardyou.hearts;hearts;没有其他附加价值的家伙当个人一样对待Youregonna taketheonlypersoninyourlife何必呢thatstherepurelyforsex,nostringsattached,andturnhimintoahumanbeing“做爱伙伴”Whyhearts;hearts;什么是做爰伙伴?Excuse meFuckbuddyhearts;hearts;少来了Whatisafuckbuddy做爱伙伴就是约过几次会Oh,come on.hearts;hearts;但没去任何其他地方的人Afuckbuddyisaguyyouprobablydatedonceortwice,你们之间的性太美好了所以一直留着他anditdidntreallygoanywhere,butthesexissogreat,yousortofkeephim oncall.就像随传随到的小弟弟hearts;hearts;hearts;你只是…在性欲来时Oh,heslikedial-a-dick.hearts;hearts;才打给他?You...youmeanyoujustcallthisguyup-没错whenyoure...youknow,horny他真的会到?-Mm-hmm.-Yes.他又不是我的奴隶亲爱的And hejustcomesrightover他有自己的人生Well,hesnot aslave,sweetheart.这你不需要知道Hedoeshavealife.在曼哈顿六小时内一定送达Butyoudontreallyhave toknowaboutit.你们都有?And youregenerallyguaranteeddeliverywithinManhattaninsixhoursorless.我的搬到芝加哥了And youguysallhaveone现在只隔着电话做爱Well,minemovedtoChicago.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;他在芝加哥做什么?Butnow wehavephonesex.我完全不知道WhatshedoinginChicago不久后受到我们对话的鼓舞Ihaveabsolutelynoidea.夏洛特第一次邀男士出去Afewmomentslater,emboldenedbyourconversation,andhighfromtoomanytantricheadstands,课程好难Charlotteasked amanoutforthefirsttime.我从没流过这么多汗Man,thatclasswastough.你星期五想不想跟我吃晚餐?Iveneversweatedsomuchinmyentirelife.好Would youliketogoouttodinnerFridaynight我在想…Sure.要是夏洛特都能Iwondered...打破模式主动邀约男生IfCharlottecould breakherpattern我为什么不能和做爰伙伴andstartaskingouteverymaninManhattan,hearts;hearts;展开一段较深刻的关系?whycouldntIstarthavingadeeperrelationship你穿得好漂亮withthemanIhaveshallowsexwith我也这么想Yourealldressy.射谢Well,Iguess...1其实我本来想说他从没看过我打扮Thanks.想不想先喝杯酒?Thefactwas,Iwantedtotellhimthathedneveractuallyseenmeinclothes.不用了谢谢Uh,sodoyouwanta...aglassofwinefirst,ordoyoujustwant...等一下No,Imfine,thanks.我订了位Hey,wait,wait,wait在寿司店订了位Imadereservations.那很棒AtaSushirestaurant.不是我是说…Oh.Oh,cool,I see...寿司No!Imean,God!日本料理Ime...ImeanSushi!你说“吃晚餐”是真的吃晚餐?Japa...Japanese food.每次我们说吃晚餐Oh,whenyousaid dinner,youmeantdinner.总是…Itsjustthat,wheneverwevehaddinner,我知道wevealways,you know...我去拿钱包Yeah,Iknow,Iknow.就像第一次约会我们一开始很尴尬黄尾蝶鱼Allright,Imgonna...Um,Imjustgonna getmypurse.两份鞋鱼寿司Likemostfirstdates,wewereofftoanawkwardstart.Um,theyellowtailsashimi,再一份辣的鳍鱼手卷twopiecesofsalmonsushi你喜欢鳗鱼吗?andaspicytunahandroll.不喜欢Oh,doyoulikeeel我要烤鸡全熟Uh,noway.这里的寿司很好吃I...Illhavethechickenteriyaki,welldone,okay我不吃生的东西No,thesushissoamazinghere.总之就是不吃No,Ijust...Icantdealwiththerawstuff你怎么不告诉我?youknow,itjustdoesntwork.我们可以去别的地方Well,whydidntyoutellme没关系Wecould havegonesomeplaceelse.我等一下买个汉堡No,dontworryaboutit.hearts;hearts;好IfImhungry,Illgrababurgerafter.在我忘记之前…Okay.这是给你的Oh,hey,heylisten,beforeIforget,谢谢是什么?thisisforyou.可以在美国境内打长途四十分钟Well.Thanks.Whatisit这是为了促销我们新的方案Fortyminutesfreelongdistance,continentalU.S.,nostringsattached.一周七天七小时Itstopromoteournew7-7-3service.一天三块See,sevendays,sevenhours,谢谢threedollarsaday.你…Oh,wow.Thankyou.你看这些小玩意So,youlike...我是卖时间的Thinkthesegimmicksuphearts;hearts;但我有时可以得到这些Sortof,Imean,officially,1sell time.幸运的话ButI gettheseincentiveminuteswhichIcandistributeatmyowndiscretion.我下次可以免费拿到一小时Oh.SoifImlucky,你如果是网路公司的顾客ImightgetawholehournexttimeMCI hearts;hearts;可以免费得到两小时Butifyoure currentlyanMCIcustomer开玩笑的andyouswitch,thenyougettwohoursforfree.这样…Iwaskidding.我们点清酒吧Oh,right,gotcha.好把清酒给我So,maybe weshouldjust,uh,ordersomesake我们回到我家速战速决Oh,yeah,sure.Hey,saketome!Wewentbacktomyplace foraquickie.我得将前两个小时的记忆销毁一个在床上这么厉害的人Ineededtoerasethestagnantmemoryofthepasttwohours.平时怎么会这么无聊?Wasitreallypossible thatsomeonesostimulatinginbed与此同时莎曼珊很期待与新邻居见面could besotediousinlifeMeanwhile,Samanthawasactuallybeginningtolookforwardtothecompanyof hernew每一晚在十一点新闻过后neighbors.莎曼珊就像隐形乐团里隐形的歌手Everynight,likeclockwork,rightaftertheend ofthe11:00news...hearts;直到某一晚她不再是隐形人Samantharelished herroleastheinvisibleguestvocalisttoanunseenband.星期六米兰达邀请我们Untilonenight,shewasntsoinvisible.跟她的对象见面ThatSaturday,Mirandaplanned forusalltomeet很明显他迟到了herlatestflingforbrunch.他应该快到了我…Apparently,hehadflunghimselfelsewhere.别担心没关系Heshouldbehereanyminute,really.I...我们也不知道去哪里Hey,dontworryaboutit,ifitsjustus,fine.我今晚有约会Itsnotlikewevegotanywhere elsetogo.和谁Ido,Ihave adatetonight.我约一个瑜珈课的男生出去Withwhom我很惊讶Thatyoga guy.Iaskedhimout.僵局一旦打破-Mmm!-Wow,Imimpressed.接下来就不难了Youknow,onceIbroketheicewithhim,itwasjustlikeridingabike.我这周有很多约会今晚就有两个Ihavesomanydatesthisweek,-你一次约两个人?-我不得不thatIhadtoscheduletwoinonenight.有一个就要出城了-Youdouble-booked-Well,Ihadto.另一个我推不掉Thisone guywasgoingoutoftownforthreeweeks,你要怎么应付?andtheotherguy,Ididntwanttocancel.早一点跟一号吃晚餐Sohowdoyouconceivepullingthisone off之后再跟二号吃hearts;Earlydinner withbachelornumberone,hearts;你快变成男人了latesupperwithbachelornumber two.很明显夏洛特不只打破了模式MyGod,youreturningintoaman.她还变了性Apparently,Charlottehaddonemorethanbreakapattern.我怎么可能连吃两顿晚餐?Shehadactuallychangedgenders.就这样她又变回女人了IjustdontknowhowImevergonna eattwodinnersinarow.抱歉那个白痴司机And then,justlikethat,shewasawomanagain.hearts;hearts;把我载到孟加拉了Sorry,babe.Theidiotwhodrove mehere很高兴我还能完整无损的到达apparentlypassedhisdrivingtestinBangladesh.凯莉这是…Imjusthappytogetoffthatfuckinrickshawinonepiece.莎曼珊夏洛特-Kevin,thisisCarrie...-Hey.这是凯文...andSamantha,and Charlotte.我得打通电话很快回来-ThisisKevin.-Ah,itsnicetomeetya.hearts;hearts;服务生生啤酒I...Ihavetogomakeaquickphone call,Illberightback.他很可爰Waitress!Draftbeerhere!紧绷得很可爱Hescute.他星期二就会知道能不能成为合伙人Inatightlywoundsortofway.我希望之后他能放松一些HesfindingoutonTuesdaywhetherhemadepartner.你在做什么?Imkeepingmyfingerscrossedthathellunwind someafterthat.我不希望他骂服务生Whatareyoudoing那晚夏洛特正在打破她的模式Ijust...Idontwanthimgoingoffonthewaitress.先和瑜珈课的艾力克吃饭Thatevening,Charlottesetouttobreakherpattern.发现他们都喜欢长途自驾都喜欢同一部电影AcasualmealwithEricfromyoga,wheretheydiscoveredamutualloveforlongdrivesupMainecoasts,她是个灵媒对吧?andrerunsofNannyandtheProfessor.绝对的Shewaspsychic,wasntshe那真的很难以捉摸Absolutely.如今的孩子不会懂的No,butitwasverysubtle,verysophisticated.要是我有小孩Idonteventhinkthatkidstodaywould understandit.我一定要很专制地强迫他们阅读No.Itellyousomething,whenIhavekids,hearts;hearts;你想要几个小孩?Imgonna beatotalNaziwiththeremote.Iwantthemtoread.两个一男一女How manykidsdoyouwanttohave听起来很棒Two.Oneofeach.当夏洛特开始沉入Soundsperfect.自己的幻想时她发现自己快迟到了JustasCharlottebegantoswiminvisionsoffamilysummersinKennebunkport,我的天sherealizedshewaslateforthesecondshift.怎么了?Oh,myGod.我的喉咙好痛Whatswrong我感冒一个礼拜了Mythroat.It...itssosore.我来付钱Ivejustbeenfightingthis,uh,coldallweek.抱歉我过得很愉快Oh,well,let,letmegetthecheck.我也是Im,Imsosorry.Ihadareallygreattime.当夏洛特赶到下一个约会Yeah.Me,too.莎曼珊正在幻想她自己的约会WhileCharlottewasofftohernext engagement,(莎曼珊过来打声招呼)Samanthawasimagininganengagementofherown.(希望我们能打破心墙)抱歉请问一下Excuse me,Jesus!你知道是谁住在里面吗?Hi,Iwasjustwondering,知道他们人很好doyouknow wholivesinthatapartmentrightthere他是音乐家老婆是舞蹈家Yes,yes,verynice.真的?Musician,hiswife,adancer.他们…长得好看吗?Really是的很好And arethey...nicelooking非常好Yes,verynice.好你继续吧Verygood.那天晚些时候夏洛特刚与热爱艺术的经纪人Okay,then.Carryon.Laterthatnight,Charlottewasreturning fromaseconddinner单身汉二号吃完第二顿蒸贻贝和炸薯条的晚餐回来hearts;ofsteamedmusselsandfrenchfrieswithbachelornumbertwo,anart-lovingcommodities我今晚很愉快broker.我也是-Hey,Ihadareallygreattime.-Hey.抱歉Me,too.我可以打电话给你吗?Excuse me.hearts;hearts;当然可以So,canIcallyou好Definitely.夏洛特?Okay.艾力克你在这里做什么?Charlotte我帮你带了点鸡汤治你的喉咙Eric...whatareyou,whatareyoudoinghere但我看你好像痊愈了Iwasjustleavingyousomechickensoup,foryourthroat.他是谁?ButI seeyouvehealed.我在你之前跟她吃过晚餐Whoisthisguy你同时跟我们约会?Imtheguyshehaddinnerwithbeforeyou.不要觉得难过You...youdouble-bookedus至少轮到过你了Hey,hey,dontfeelbad,bud.你应该带她上楼Atleastyougotthelateshift.我不要Imean,yougettotakeherupstairs.你好好享用鸡汤吧Idontthinkso.Hey,you knowwhatEnjoythesoup.你要到上城区吗?对西边Hey,you goinuptown要不要一起坐计程车?Yeah,WestSide.我不想有罪恶感我不希望你放弃你的事业And Idontwanttofeelguiltyaboutthat.我知道你一向很好ButI dontwantyoutogiveupyourcareer.你值得与更珍惜你的人交往Iknow,Iknow.Youve beengreat我目前不能给你任何承诺Youreallydeservesomeone whowillappreciateyou.去年米兰达说过同样的话IjustdontfeellikeIhaveanything togiveatthemoment我需要多一点时间独处And lastyear,itwasMiranda.我觉得现阶段我需要将重心放在事业上IfeellikeIneedtospendmoretimealone.我目前不能给你任何承诺I...IvejustreachedapointinmylifewhereIneedtofocusonmycareer.史奇普我还能说什么?IjustdontthinkthatIhaveanything togiveatthemoment.我真是没有女人缘Skipper,whatelsecanIsay我应该料到结果会这样Ihavesuchhorribleluckwithwomen.显然我没做到Itotallyshouldveseenthiscoming.女人总是等到我觉得一切都安定了But,ofcourse,Ididnt.却又一刀刺进我双眼间Becausetheywaitforyoutogetrelaxed,andgetcomfortable,并不是所有女•人都这样beforetheybring theicepickdownrightbetweenyoureyes.你总是被特定的女人吸引Notallwomen.一而再再而三Justthetypesofwomenyouseem tobeattractedto.她们不知道自己错过了什么Yeah,over,andover,and overagain.史奇普的遭遇有一个模式Well,thoseladiesdontknowwhattheyremissingand missing,and missing.他是好人却总是为喜欢坏男人的女人吸引Skipperspatternwascleartobothofus...好Wannashareacab夏洛特发展出一套新模式Sure.她决定再也不采信朋友的意见Fromthatmomenton,Charlottedevelopedanewpattern.当天晚上Shemadeitarulenever totakeadvicefromherfriendsagain.莎曼珊决定要给邻居一个热烈的欢迎Verylatethatnight,他们是-对中年东欧夫妇音乐家和舞者Samanthadecidedtorolloutthewelcomematforhernewneighbors.他弹奏波尔卡舞曲她很久以前曾是舞者Themusicianand thedancerturnedouttobeamiddle-agedEasternEuropeancouple.莎曼珊?Heplayedinapolkaband,shewasadancer...onceuponatime.麻烦你们小声一点Samantha我想要唾个觉Would youmindkeepingitdown莎曼珊终于打破她的模式Imtryingtogetsomesleep.她决定将床搬到另一面墙Samanthabroke apatternafterall.那个星期凯文的梦想成真了Shedecidedtomoveherbedtotheoppositewall.他终于成为公司的合伙人Laterthatweek,Kevinexperienced adreamcometrue.hearts;hearts;他带着米兰达去庆祝Hewasmadeafullpartneratthelawfirmwhereheworked.Hetook Mirandaouttocelebrate.为一个快乐的场合举杯庆祝我简直欣喜若狂Atoast.Toaveryhappyoccasion.我现在一个星期得工作六十•小时Yeah.Imfallingallovermyselfwithglee.而且还没加薪我高兴的快飞起来了Now1gettowork60hoursaweek我们不能享受片刻你的成功吗?forprettymuchthesamesalary.Imwalkingonair.你不知道我身处的压力有多大Cantweenjoyyoursuccessforone fuckingsecond你真的是住在幻想国Youknow,itjustpissesmeoffyoudontgethowmuchpressureImunder.顺便一提这香槟根本不值元Youreallydoliveinnever-never land,dontya100元的平价酒都比它多了些香气And bytheway,iftheresadifferencebetweenthis$100bottleofchampagne我29不清楚andthecraptheysellfor29bucks,ittakesamoredelicatepalatethanminetodetectit,我喜欢香槟面包也很棒Idontknow.天啊你看这些花Well,Ilikethechampagne,andthebreadisfabulous.不要惹我生气Oh,myGod,lookatthoseflowers.你要去哪里?Dontpissmeoff.回到幻想国Whereareyougoin还有不要再打电话给我了Backtonever-neverland.hearts;hearts;祝你愉快And bytheway,never,nevercallmeagain.什么?Have aniceday.米兰达从没想过结果会是这样What易怒的家伙把她变成自大的乐观主义者Miranda brokeherpatterninawaythatshehadnever expected.再没有比这个更巧的事了Theangryguyhadturnedherintoacockeyed optimist.在甩掉史奇普后第一次遇见他Therecouldnothavebeenamoreperfectmoment史奇普forhertorunintoSkipperforthefirsttimesincesheddumpedhim.等一下Hey,Skipper!不要告诉我该怎么做Hey,slowdownaminute.我只想打声招呼Hey,you knowwhatDonttellmewhattodo,okay你还好吗?Ijustwantedtosayhello.我还好吗?Howveyou been在你把我像发酸的牛奶扔掉之后HowveIbeen你居然还敢跟我说话Youknow,you gotalotofnervetalkingtome告诉你你离开后我过得很好likenothinghappened,eversinceyoutossedmeoutlikebadmilk.我已经完全的脱离你了Youknow,IlltellyouhowIvebeen,frigginwonderful,我能不能跟你聊一会儿?now thatTvegotyououtofmysystem.请你喝杯啤酒?Well,cantIjusttalktoyouforaminute米兰达没有看他这么生气过CouldI buyyouabeerorsomething令她恐慌的是她被他吸引了Miranda hadneverseenhimasangryasthisbefore.这就是所谓的模式Muchtoherhorror,shewasattracted.模式不会随你所欲而打破Thatsthethingaboutpatterns.你最近有健身吗?Theydontjustbreakbecauseyoutellthemto.几天后的晚上约翰跟我去看电影Have youbeenworkingout我拒绝相信性关系And afewnightslater,JohnandIwentoutforamovie.不能转化成真正的友谊Irefusedtobelievethatapassionatesexualconnection你喜欢这部电影吗?could notbetranslatedintoameaningfulfriendship,attheveryleast.那是喜剧吗?Sodidyoulikethemovie-不是-我不这么认为Wasitacomedy这个街区真是太棒了-No.-Ididntthinkso.这些赤褐砂石已经一百年了Isntthisthemostamazingblock就像根艾迪丝华顿和亨利詹姆斯同处纽约Allthesebrownstonesareover100yearsold.有时候我觉得住在这里真是太幸运了Youknow,itslikebeingintheNewYorkofEdithWhartonandHenryJames.什么?SometimesI cantbelievehowluckyIamtoliverighthere.你的奶头看起来好美What就在那时候我知道我们只有两个共同点Yourtitslook reallygreatinthatthing.我想邀请你进来不过…Atthatmoment,I knewweonlyhadtwothingsincommon.没关系Listen,Idinviteyouin,but...我明天得早起No,thatsokay.好Igottobeupreallyearlytomorrow,so...我再打给你Okay.晚安Illcallyou.我知道这是我们最后一次见面Goodnight.就这样我又回到了我之前的模式…Iknewitwasthelasttimewedeverseeeachother.油腻的中国菜睡到中午And justlikethat,Iwasthrownrightbackintomyold pattern...感到不安…greasyChinese,sleepingtillnoon,andfeeling...restless.那天晚上在城中的一次约会中Hewasasweetguywhowasperpetuallyattractedtowomenwhowerelookingforjerks.米兰达重复她自己的模式Laterthatnight,onadateacrosstown,她和法庭上遇见的律师约会Miranda wasrepeatingapatternofherown.全国广播公司的常客Shehadbeendatingalawyershemetwhentheygotintoabigfightincourt.hearts;hearts;凯文不只好辩AfrequentguestonMSNBC,也很擅长生气Kevinwasnot justargumentative,我得改变你这几天想出去hewasanangerprofessional.看电影是白痴的想法Youknow,IthinkIgottarevise myopinionhearts;hearts;花二十九块看电影thatyou gottabeanidiottowanttogoouttoamoviethesedays.外加点心饮料是值得的Imean,itwasworththe19bucks,听后座的公车司机批评电影plustendollarsinsnacksandwater他有极佳的洞察力justtohearthatbusdriver behindusexplainingfilmmakingtohiswife.再说那是一部有趣的电影Hecertainlyhadsomewonderfulinsightstoshare.Butatleast,onthebrightside,itwasaninterestingmovie,right一部真正的“大国民”饰演卡罗的演员很迷人Yeah,right!ItwasarealCitizenKane.看来脑白质切断术Well,Ithoughttheactorwhoplayed Carlowaskindofcharming.没有彻底改善他的迟钝Thatmoronlookslikehewalkedintowork好吧我来拦计程车你得面朝住宅便才拦得到beforetheanesthesia woreofffromhislobotomy.我这样拦过很多计程车Allright,allright,Illjustgetusacab,okay hearts;heartsYougottafaceuptowntogetacabaroundhere.在梦幻国Ivecaughtplentyof cabsthisway.人们总是误把没有天分当作迷人快一点进这辆该死Yeah,innever-neverland,的计程车wherepeopleconstantlyconfuse acompletelackoftalentwithcharm.快点Comeon,Gene Shalit,getinthedamncab.快一点输不起的人Comeon.快进去Getin,soreloser.-进去•老天Comeon,in.米兰达讨厌他爱发号司令-In,comeon.-Jesus!hearts;除了在一个地方Miranda hatedhowheorderedheraround andtoldherwhatdo...把手举到头Everyplaceexceptone.h把腿张开Putyourhandsupover yourhead.奇怪的是我讨厌他平时告诉我该怎么做Spreadyourlegs.但要是在做爱的过程中真令我神魂颠倒Theweirdthingiswhenhetellsmewhattodoinlife,itdrivesmecrazy.很性感hearts;hearts;Butwhenhetellsmewhattododuringsex,itreallydrivesmecrazy.那里似乎不错Itstotallyhot!小心公园里的大便Thatlookslikeagoodspot.这岂不是很可笑?Everybody,checkforparkpoo.我日常生活中讨厌的居然在性生活令我愉快Imean,isntthatfunny你干脆只把他当作性爱的对象ThatwhatI hateinlife,Iloveinsexhearts;hearts;这样的关系真健康呢Sohowaboutifyoulimityourcontactwithhimtojustsex问题是我还没准备放弃Oh,thatsanice,healthyrelationship.你干脆勒死他算了Thethingis,Imnotreadyyettothrowinthetowel.他因为等着当公司合伙人No,yourejustreadytowrapitaroundhisneck.hearts;hearts;所以压力很大Hesgoingthroughaverystressfultime,当事情解决了他会变好的waitingtomakepartnerathisfirm.或者你干脆承认Whenthatfinallyworksout,Ithinkmaybe helllightenupabit.你喜欢脾气暴躁的家伙Ormaybe youshouldjustfacethefact吃蛋吗?thatyoureattractedtoangryguys.不要管蛋了Deviledeggs史奇普怎么办?他从来不生气Waitasecond...holdtheeggs!你把他甩了符合这个模式WhataboutSkipperHe nevergotangry.我没有什么模式Yeah,andyoudumped him.Fitsapattern.数学里乱数也是一种模式Idonthaveapattern.Inmath,randomnessisconsidered apattern.我就是所谓的质数她有一个明显的模式Yes,andImwhattheycallaprimenumber.是吗?是什么?Shesgotaveryobvious pattern,youknow.你在等待一个完美的男人和约会IdoWhatTellme!然后你把这样的幻想投射在他身上Youwaitforaperfectguytoaskyou onaperfectdate...对他有所期待And whenhedoes,youprojectthishugefantasyonhim,接着就在你美丽的脸前爆乍幻灭settinguptheseenormousexpectations...hearts”hearts;蛋要放在不同篮子里Whichpromptlyblowupinyourprettylittleface.真是个糟糕的模式Youputallyourdeviled eggsinonebasket,sotospeak.分散风险Thatsahorrible pattern.一次多跟几个男士约会Well,spreaditaround alittlemore.比较不会感到失望Dateafewguysatonce你要夏洛特踏船?andthenyouwontfeelsodisappointed.这是执行多重任务AreyouaskingCharlottetojuggle我们不能接受“一次一个男人”的模式Itsallaboutmulti-tasking.你看你在大人物身上浪费多少时间None ofuscanaffordtofallintothisonemanatatimepattern.大人物是个错误Imean,lookathowmuchtimeyou wastedwithBig.下次我会找一个英俊富有Yeah,butBigwasanaberration.可谈感情的四十三岁男子NexttimeImeetahandsome,wealthy,我知道我该期待什么andemotionally unavailable43-year-old man,Illknowwhattoexpect.是吗或者你又会犯相同错误?Willyou我在想…Orwillyoujustmakethesame mistakealloveragain我们是不是条件反射的受害者Iwondered...注定要无意识地重复某种感情模式?werewealljustvictimsofconditionedresponses重复与某种特定类型的人交往?Doomed torepeatthesameunconsciousrelationship patterns我跟很多艺术家交往过Wereweall,infact,justelatingthesamepersonoverandoveragain他们都不尽相同Well,Iguess Ihavedatedquiteafewartists.好吧他们都是有承诺恐惧症的自恋鬼ButI dontthinktheywereallthesameperson.而且滥用药物但是画家跟雕刻家很不一样Okay,yes,theywereallnarcissistswithcommitmentphobias英俊但不懂善待女人andsubstanceabuseissues,butinmyopinion,thepainters我只跟有游戏机或者胸大的女人交往wereverydifferentfromthesculptors.Handsomewaspyassholeswhotreatmelikeshit.那一晚莎曼珊认识了她的新邻居IonlydategirlswithSonyPlayStations.Orbreasts.虽然她没见过他们Thatnight,Samanthabecameacquaintedwiththenewneighborsnextdoor.却已经对他们了若指掌Though shehadnevermetthemfacetoface,但她不能忍受别人享受性爱shealreadyknewthemintimately.却没她的份hearts;hearts;hearts;Theideathatsomeone elsewashavinggreatsexandflauntingit,所以她当下决定如果不能加入wasmorethanshecouldbear.就打败他们Soshedecided,ifyou cantjoinem,这是典型的莎曼珊模式beatit.与她的性对象保持一-墙之隔ItallfitSamanthaspatterntoa T...跟大人物分手后几个礼拜havingawallbetweenherand thepersonshewashavingsexwith.我掉进我自己的模式Afterafewweeksofnot seeingBig,在外面玩到三更半夜然后一觉到中午Iwasbeginningtofallintosome familiarpatternsofmyown.在同一家中国餐馆叫外卖在我感到不安的时候打电话Stayingouttill3:00andsleepingtillnoon,hearts;hearts;给会支持我的老朋友orderingtakeoutfromthesamegreasyChinese,hearts;麦法登hearts;andcallingoldfriendswhowouldalwaysbe thereformewhenIwasfeeling...restless.约翰我是凯莉McFadden.凯莉你还好吗?好久不见Hey,John,itsCarrie.我知道Carrie,hey,yeah,howareyouLongtime.下班后想不想出来喝杯酒?Yeah,Iknow,Iknow.Listen,um...当然好提议Ithoughtifyouwerentdoinganything,youmightwanttomeetforadrinkafterwork.到“六”酒吧怎么样?Yeah,sure,thatwould begreat.我六点半可以到那里Uh,howaboutum...sixish很好到时候见Icouldprobablybethereabout6:
30.那一晚准时六点半…Perfect,Illseeyou then.很高兴见到你Thatevening,at6:30sharp...我也是Hey,wow,itsgreattoseeyou.请进我开了一瓶红酒You,too.-Wow.红酒很棒Comeonin.Iwasjustgonna,um,openupabottleof red.我八点半要离开Oh,red,yeah,beautiful.好我八点也有晚餐邀约Ijust,uh...Igottabesomewhereby8:
30.Oh,thatsokay,Ive gotdinnerplansat8:
00.约翰是所有女人理想中的朋友有趣令人舒服好相处Johnwasasdependableapalasagalcouldever hopefor.跟他在一起可以做自己Fun,comfortable,andeasytobewith.不会吵架没有忧愁Thekindofguywhoyoucouldshedallinhibitionsandreallybeyourselfaround.你最近还好吗?Nomuss...nofuss.很好So,howstheuh...很好goinGreat.你的工作呢?-Itsgreat.-Great.从不无聊Howsworkwithyou你妹妹怎么样?Neverdull.Neverdull.是弟弟Howsyouruh,younger sisterdoing搬到凤凰城那•个?Brother.hearts;hearts;是塔拉哈西Theonethatmovedto,uh...Phoenix在那边怎么样?Tallahassee.他很好谢谢你关心Sohow-howshedoingdownthere当时我明白了一件事Hesdoinggreat,thanksforasking.我没有感情的模式And thenIrealizedit.我只有感情空白期模式Ididnthavearelationship pattern,每次当我历经分手的创伤后Ihadabetween-relationshippattern.我总会找约翰IalwayswentbacktoJohnaftereverydevastating,他很贴心英俊不复杂soul-shattering,gut-wrenchingbreakup.对我的性自尊很是抬举Hewassweet,handsome,uncomplicated...谢谢你打给我美女Arealshotinthearmformysexualself-esteem.你令我的生命锦上添花Thanksfor thecall,gorgeous.这么多年来我为什么还把他当候补?Sureputacherryonmysundae.经营一段感情有这久难吗?WhyhadIbeenkeepinghimonthebenchalltheseyears你星期五想共进晚餐吗?Did Ireallybelievearelationshiphadtobedifficultinordertowork。