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欲望城市(性爰专家凯莉布雷萧)闻鸡起舞hearts;hearts;纽约有超过七百万人口不包括来访的客人There areover sevenmillion people in New York.游客是城里经济主要来源And thats not includinghouseguests.大多数在曼哈顿的单身贵族都不买家具Visitors area vitalpart of the cityseconomy.hearts;hearts;直到家里有客人来访Most singlepeopleinManhattan donot buyfurniture orhang pictures沙发好棒哪里买的?until facedwith thearrival of an out-of-towner.hearts;hearts;我不知道Hey,thafs a great couch.Whered itcome from米兰达新家的所有家具都是由夏洛特的I haveno idea.新锐室内设计师朋友玛德琳唐恩一手包办购买Everything inMirandas newapartment washand-picked,covered,finished and arrangedhearts;hearts;我一直在找这样的东西by Charlottesfriend,Madeline Dunn,an up-and-coming interiordesigner.这是非常时髦的沙发床Ive beenlooking forone ofthose.茶几明天就会送来Thats verystylish for a pull-out.-谢谢-不客气Fil havethat end table foryou tomorrow.这是沙发床?-Thank you.Youre welcome.事情是这样的This is a sofabed我需要帮杰瑞米买沙发床Yeah.Thats whatstarted thiswhole thing.hearts;hearts;要是他在这里的这段期间都睡在这I neededa sofabed forJeremy,我就从窗户跳下去and nowif heactually sleepson itwhile stayingin myfabulous apartment,杰瑞米是米兰达的老朋友I mayhave tothrow myselfout awindow treatment.Jeremy was an oldfriend ofMirandas她感到似曾相识It allseemed sofamiliar.怎么了?She washaving adeja fuck.我以前跟你上过床Whats wrong对大概十五年前Ive slept with youbefore.你为什么不说?Yeah,yeah,like15years ago.我以为你在玩性感陌生人游戏Well,why the hell didn*t you say something真像个大团圆I justthought youwere playingthe sexystranger game.我不理解你忘了你睡过的人?So,it waskind ofa reunion.我们再也没有关系了I dontunderstand.How couldyou forget someone you sleptwith你不是跟他共乘计程车Toto,I don*t thinkwere insingle digitsanymore.你是跟他上床Okay,but itsnot likeyou shareda cabwith thisguy.hearts;hearts;地点或许是在计程车上I mean,yousleptwith him.我也想忘了某些人Maybe wedid itin acab.我会写名单Ed like to forgetsome of the menfve sleptwith.真甜今日“共事”的男人I keepa list.我已经找不到上床的陌生男人How sweet,Men ToDo Today.hearts;hearts;我得结婚不然就搬家So,Im officiallyout ofmen tofuck.I have to get married ormove.这个不错我可以写进我的诗里吗?拿去用吧Thats lovely.Can Iuse thatin my poem你得看看我的伴娘礼服Its yours.很难看吗?Wait tillyou guyssee my bridesmaids dress.不我们自己挑Is ithideous不可思议露背黑缎No,we gotto pickour own.对伴娘来说很性感Its thisamazing backlessblack satin.玛德琳指定要黑色Mmm,pretty sexyfor abridesmaid.亲爱的冷静一下Well,all Madelinesaid wasthat ithad to be black.我曾穿着合宜美丽地出席七场婚宴Honey,calm down.这分明是“夏洛特不要看我看新娘〃Ive beentasteful andappropriate atseven otherweddings.这一次我将成为众人焦点1Im always,Charlotte,don*t look at me,lookat the bride.出于某些原因这场旋风式婚礼This time,people aregonna lookat me!带了给所有人压力For somereason,This whirlwindwedding除了新郎新娘以外was creatingagreatdeal ofstress for everyone次晚我犯了个错误把写诗这件事告诉大人物but the bride andgroom.爱手套鸽子The nextnight,I madethe mistakeof tellingBig about the poem.鸽子不错1Love,glove,dove.爱就像鸽子Dove isgood.或是毛茸茸的大手套Love islike adove算了我可以从贺卡上面窃取点子ora big fuzzy glove.谢了Dont usethat,I mightvestolen itfrom agreeting card.怎么了?这很有趣Okay,thanks.不应该是有趣那可是一场婚礼What This is fun.婚礼对某些人来说是很严肃的Its notsupposed to be fun,this issomebodys wedding.那就不能用“铲子”了A weddingis seriousto some people.婚礼何时举行rThen”shove probablywon twork.hearts;hearts;何必问?你又不会去When isthis wedding我会去It doesntmatter,youre notgoing.我不会错过听你在纽约所有人面前朗诵“爱手套鸽子〃Oh,yes,I am.(四个星期后)I wouldntmiss youreciting love,glove,dove infront ofall ofNew Yorkfor anything.和大人物之间进展顺利他要跟我去参加婚礼Things withBig weregood.我可不可以只说「天”He wasactually goingwith me to a wedding.再几分钟就好Can I just say...Wow.卡片等着你签名I needa fewminutes.我不需要签名他们是你的朋友Oh,I leftthe cardhere foryou to sign.没错但你的名字也在邀请函上I dontneed tosign it,theyre yourfriends.-真的吗?-真的Theyre notmy friendsand yournames on the invitationtoo.这是第一次我男伴的名字也被印上去-Really-Yes.It wasmy firsttime to get somethingother thanCarrie Bradshawand guest.他们怎么知道我的名字?我不知道Howd theyget myname玛德琳可能问了夏洛特Umm,I don*t know,无所谓你不想签名也没关系I guessMadeline mustveasked Charlotteor something.要不要签个名?Whatever.If youdont want tosign the cardit*snotabigdeal.要不要签个名?Would you like tosign the guest book至少我们知道谁一个人来Hi,would youlike tosign the guest book莎曼珊这一点值得鼓励At leastwe getto seewhos arrivingalone.凡事都能往好的一面想Samantha couldalways becounted onto takelifes lemons礼物放哪里?and makethem intoSpanish fly.抱歉我不是负责的人Do you know wherethey want the gifts老天我的炮友在这里Excuse me,Im notthe giftperson.hearts;hearts;当然你是在订婚宴上遇到他的Oh,Christ!My rerunshere.我得开始把事情记下来Of coursehes here,you methim at the engagement party.还得多喝点酒I have to startwriting thingsdown.大人物在哪里?I alsohavetostart drinkingheavily.里面看起来很无聊Wheres Big我看起来也是那样Inside,looking bored.他不签卡片我应该心烦吗?Hey,thats mylook.rShould Ibe botheredby thefact thathe wouldnt signthe card还好我没叫他签签到簿那应该会把他逼疯Well,Im certainlyglad Ididnt askhim tosigntheguest book.f夏洛;特的礼服不是吹嘘-0h yeah,that wouldve puthim overthe edge.-Ooh!大家很难不注意到她Charlotte wasntkidding about the dress.看看你我的天It washard notto noticeher.你看起来棒极了Look atyou!Oh,my God!我迟到了-You lookamazing.You are...-Spin...你是新娘或新郎亲友?-Holy moly.-Oh,my gosh,I amso late.我是伴娘Hi,are youwith thebride orthe groom你是夏洛特吗Actually,Im abridesmaid.我是马丁希力我要跟你一起走红毯Oh,are youCharlotte终其一生夏洛特就是在等这一刻Hi,Im MartinHealy.Til bewalking youdown theaisle.和马丁这样的人走红毯All herlife,Charlotte hadimagined doingexactly that我带你去准备处with someoneexactly likeMartin.你有看到吗?Ell showyou whereyoure supposedto be.;我在这里半小时了他根本没瞧我一眼Hello are you seeingthis当米兰达觉得自己像隐形人Ive beenhere halfan hour,that guynever evenlooked atme.我觉得自己太受瞩目了While Mirandawas feelinginvisible,我在节目表上?我跟新郎新娘并不熟I wasfeeling fartoo visible.他们也不太认识对方Im in the program I barelyknow thebride andgroom.我在誓言跟餐会之间They barelyknow eachother.我有在里面吗?当然没有Hey,look,Tm right between thevows andthe fishcourse.我最好去找大人物Am Iin thereNo,of coursenot.我跟你去Well,I betterfind Big.你不管签到簿了?Im comingwith you.客人知道这是做什么用的Can youleave theguest bookunattended典礼简短温馨就像是订婚仪式People knowwhat to do withtheguest book.现在欢迎我们的新婚夫妇…The ceremonywas shortand sweet,just likethe engagement.杰瑞米菲尔德先生And now,please welcomeour newlyweds...和玛德琳唐恩菲尔德太太Mr.Jeremy Fields她花了六个月帮我找茶几and Mrs.Madeline Dunn-Fields.却在四个礼拜办好一场婚礼It tookher sixmonths tofind mean endtable,我赌五块你的茶几比她的婚姻持久but shecan planaweddingat thePlaza infour weeks.大家说了不少杰瑞米的好话Five buckssays thatyour endtable willlast longerthan hermarriage.我在此要反驳People havesaid alot ofnice thingsabout Jeremy我认识杰瑞米很久了and I am hereto make a rebuttal.比新娘要久得多Seriously,I haveknown Jeremy a longtime.我希望有一天能和你们两位一样Which ismore thanthebridecould say.I onlyhope thatsomeday I can havewhat youtwo have,有八千份印有我名字的餐巾当然还有一个心爱的人8,000little napkinswith myname on them.举杯And,youknow,of course,someone tolove.现在我们有一个特别节目Aw...-Cheers.我最喜爰的作家之一凯莉布雷萧And nowwe have a veryspecial treat.替这个特别的场合写了一首诗One of my favoritewriters,Carrie Bradshaw,可恶has agreedto sharea poemthat shewrote forthe occasion.当我走向麦克风时Shit.我只有一个念头As Imade myway tothe microphone,走向死亡英I couldonly thinkone thing...他的招呼是她结局的终点Dead womanwalking.她的笑声是他们走向红毯的第一步His hellowas theend ofher endings.他的手要让她牵一辈子Her laughwas theirfirst stepdown theaisle.他承诺的永远就像她的微笑那么简单His handwould be hers tohold forever.我突然间想到His foreverwas assimple asher smile.有两个人缘定终生And suddenlyit hitme.我却没办法要一个男人跟我签同一张卡片Two peoplewere committingto alife together他说她就是那失落的一角and I couldnt evenget aguy to be on a cardwith me.她立刻说她懂He saidshe waswhat wasmissing.她就是那个等待被回答的问题She saidinstantly sheknew.She wasa questionto beanswered...他的答案是“我愿意”我别无选择只能拥抱这个时刻And...His answerwas Ido.’并传递我喜悦的眼泪给这对新人I hadno choicebut toembrace themoment夏洛特可以帮我拿沙拉酱吗?and tryto passoff mytears astears ofjoy forthe happycouple.我也想要三或四个孩子Charlotte,can I have thesalad dressing好啊再养只小猫小狗如何?I wantthree orfour kidstoo.这应该是我们的曲子Okay,okay,well,where do you standon dogvs.cat那么我们应该跳支舞You know,I thinkthat thisshould beour song.他们也要有样学样吗?Then weshould danceto it.抱歉What,are theyon theEvelyn Woodplan too我得接电话Sorry.hearts;hearts;我有错过什么吗?I hadto takea call.你错过了我念诗和大部分的节目Did Imiss anything但是一支慢舞Well,you missedmypoemand mostof thereception.可以让人原谅并忘记But theresnothing like a slowdance我不喜欢在别人吃饭时跳舞to makeyou forgiveand forget.好吧Uh,maybe later,I hateto dancewhile people are eating.我到吧台喝杯酒Alrighty.跟我的男伴打声招呼Well,Ill beat thebar wherepeoplearedrinking.我觉得我应该认识你Say helloto mydate.I thinkI knowyou fromsomewhere.我们可能上过床好像是在大学时认识你Its verypossible wefucked.我们或许在大学时代上过床No,I thinkI knowyou fromcollege.再一杯四海为家Then weprobably fuckedin college.一杯威士忌不加冰Another Cosmopolitanplease.是那位有名的诗人凯莉布雷萧And ascotch,straight up.我们能不能不要谈到诗?Oh,its thefamous poet,Carrie Bradshaw.亲爱的诗很完美Can wenot talkaboutthepoem,please除了那些眼泪到底怎么了?Honey,come on,it wasperfect.大人物在我念诗时接电话Except thecrying,what wasthat abouthearts;hearts;那对他而言不重要Big tooka callduring mypoem.没有一件事对他重要Its notimportant tohim.负责签到簿还要顺便负责搬礼物Nothing isimportant tohim.你们要帮忙吗?The guestbook personis alsothe putthe giftsin thevan person.还是要我等到没有人看到时溜掉Does anybodywant to help me,or shouldIjustgo standout in the streetand waitfor somebodyelse notto seeme soI can我帮你end it你要往哪边走?Ill help you.如果他们在一个月内结婚我一定不去参加What streetdo youwant tostand in小心一点这是我送的If theyget marriedin lessthan amonth,Im notgoing.Ooh,careful,that onesfrom me.你送他们什么?跳舞的青蛙Well,what are you givingthem即使就快要打破感情发展速度的纪录The dancingfrogs.夏洛特还是尽责地完成伴娘的工作Even whileon theverge ofbreaking theland speedrecord forrelationships,好漂亮Charlotte tookher dutiesas bridesmaidvery seriously.我们该怎么做?Isnt itbeautiful我们把细绳随意抛So howdo wedo thisexactly再写一些好玩的东西在镜子上Oh,we justthrow somesilly stringaround有人会在床上丢保险套and writesomething funnyon themirror inlipstick.我比较喜欢玫瑰花瓣And thensomepeoplethrow condomson the bed,我喜欢在玫瑰花瓣中醒来but Ipersonally preferrose petals.一切都是那么地浪漫I wouldlove towake upin rosepetals.那张床玫瑰花瓣It wasall soromantic.还有那张床…The bed,the rosepetals,严格来说这不是第三次约会thebed...他们吃过饭…跳过舞Technically,it wasnta thirddate,分钟后夏洛特开始担心和这位理想中的but theydalready haddinner...and beendancing.结婚对象上20床是个错误Twenty minuteslater,Charlotte worriedshed madea rookiemistake hearts;hearts;会有不好的事发生by sleepingwith aman shethought shecould marry.夏洛特我想把你介绍给我父母But thensomething wonderfulhappened.见父母Charlotte,I want to introduceyou to my parents.夏洛特的计划又回到正轨Meeting theparents.你有看到我们跳舞吗?Charlotte wasback onschedule.就像起风暴一样Did yousee us想要免费教学吗?Weve beendancing upa storm.我爸爸很会跳舞Would youlikeafree lesson我很乐意Oh,my dadconsiders himselfquite thedancer.就是她了吗?Oh,that wouldbe great.・你是个美丽的舞者•谢谢Well,is shethe one我可以接手吗?-Youre abeautiful dancer.-Oh,thank you.如果你坚持May Icut in长年住在伦敦写作If youmust.他到纽约勘查就业环境whod beenin Londonfor severalyears writingfor TheEconomist.米兰达建议他到她家作客He wascoming toNew Yorkto scopeoutthejob situation.因为他的电子邮件And Mirandasuggested hebeherhouseguest,出现一些调情的字眼because hise-mails,always entertaining,与此同时我成了大人物家中的常客had startedto borderon flirtatious.你有多余的牙刷借我吗?Meanwhile,I hadbecome afrequent houseguestof Bigs.多余的牙刷?Damn.Hey...doyouhaveaspare toothbrushI coulduseA sparetoothbrush我再买一支新的给你hearts;hearts;借过Well,Ill bringyou anew one.他把唯一的粉红牙刷头给我Excuse me.这是我们关系中最令人雀跃的一刻There*s onlyone pinkbrush headand Bigwas givinghis tome.后一天的晚上杰瑞米到来It wasthe singlemost encouragingmoment sofar inour relationship.他远比米兰达记忆中来得迷人The nextnight whenJeremy arrived,我喜欢你的公寓he waseven moreadorable thanMiranda remembered.hearts;hearts;谢谢I loveyour flat.你好吗?Thanks.尤其当他说出…So howthehellare ya我厌倦了不断约会我准备好要结婚了Especially whenhe said...米兰达你在吗?Im tiredof dating,Tm ready togetmarried.来了Miranda,areyouhere他很棒是不是?很聪明Isnt hesomethingAnd hesvery smart.他是我学习的榜样他以前会带我到办公室…Hes prettymuch myrole model.你父亲刚才吃我豆腐He usedto takeme tohis officewhen I wasa little kid.我们在跳舞时他的手…Your fatherjust feltme up.We weredancing andhe justput hishand...我父母结婚五十年了我爸爸不会因为一个女人All right,look,my parentshave beenmarried for50years.穿着暴露就吃她豆腐My dadwould notcop afeel夏洛特当下突然明白just becausesome girlis wearinga sluttydress.无论过多久马丁都永不会站在她那一边Suddenly,it wasclear toCharlotte过去的四个半小时对你来说没意义吗?that Martinwasnt gonnatake herside nowor afterthree orfour kids,orever.鸡舞女士们先生们Did thelast fourandahalf hoursmean nothingto you可恶我们错过了鸡舞The chickendance,ladies andgentlemen.抱歉Oh,darn,we missedthe chickendance.你有看到我的女伴吗?Excuse me.抱歉我得帮米兰达把礼物搬上车Have youseen mydate你要走了吗?Im sorry,I hadtohelpMiranda putthe giftsinto thevan.他们切蛋糕了吗?So,areyoureadyto go我不知道Well,have theyeven cutthe cakeyet但我知道那是怎么回事I dontknow.如果你想走就走吧But I can tellyou howit turnsout怎么了?If youwant togo,go.你连卡片都不肯签Whats wrong卡片?You wouldnteven signthe card.The card.我怕我们想要的不一样譬如说蛋糕?Im afraidwe dontwantthesame things.我要的是有人能一直陪我…Things likecake到婚礼结束I wantsomeone who*s going tobewith meuntil theend...好我留下来ofawedding.真的?Okay.Til stay.真的You will单身女郎们Yes.要开始抛花束了Single ladies!f花束不是最后抛吗?It stime forthe tossingofthebouquet.恭喜你你走运了Isnt thebouquet tossat theend去拿些蛋糕吧我去跟我朋友说再见Congratulations,you luckedout.很重大的一刻Get ussome cake,I wantto saygoodbye tomy friends.大人物跟我要先离开Big moment.他已经忍受不了了Big andI areleaving.准备好了吗?hearts;Hes crossedhis painthreshold andhes carryingme alongwith him.Everybody ready姐妹们明天见One,two,three.hearts;hearts;hearts;晚安Okay,girls,see you tomorrow.-Night-night.-Okay.我们去拿你的外套有些人知道他们注定和某人共度一生-Well,lets...lets getyour coats.Mm-hmm.我知道我注定要和大人物回家在床上吃蛋糕Some peopleknow theyremeant tobe together.这就是我们的爱情方式吧I knewI wasmeant togo homeand havecake inbed withBig.Maybe weremore thefuzzyglovetypes.一定是我的茶几来了Um...Coming!我的茶几还不敢独自出门呢That mustbe my endtable.我希望你喜欢它的末道漆See,myendtable isafraid togo outalone.比我想像中要黑I hopeyoulikethe finish.抱歉打扰了Its ahair darkerthan I was thinking.好美这是比德迈式的吗?Oh,hi,sorry tointerrupt.;灵感来自比德迈好眼光Thats beautifulis itBiedermeier我很喜欢阅读“建筑文摘”我叫杰瑞米菲尔德Inspired byBiedermeier,good eye.•抱歉这位是…・玛德琳Im addictedto ArchitecturalDigest.Jeremy Fields.玛德琳唐恩-Oh,Tm sorry.This is...-Madeline.很荣幸Madeline Dunn.谢谢你帮我带过来Pleasure.我们正要出去吃晚餐Well,thanks forbringing thatby.你要一起来吗?We werejust abouttogoout andgetsomedinner so...上周我在一家餐厅做专访Yes,did youwanttojoin us米兰达的遭遇足以让所有女人称羡Last weekI wasdoing aninterview ata restaurantin Kensington...她有一个很棒的第一次约会Miranda suddenlyfound herselfinthesituation“小心不要吃到鹿弹”she wasonatruly great first date.不幸地她似乎是第三者1Just becareful notto eatany buckshot!Unfortunately,it wassomebody elses.我应该要带杰瑞米回家了你一定有时差不会我觉得精神很好I shouldget Jeremyhome.You mustbe jet-lagged.我在飞机上睡了Actually,I feelgreat.这样我很累了I sleptontheplane foronce.你想回家吗?Well,Im prettybeat.不了如果你・・・Did youwanttogo去吧我可以找到回家的路No,not if youre...对我们不必…Go ahead,Icanfind myway back.不过我忘了再打一副钥匙Right,of course.We don*t haveto...杰瑞米可以用我的钥匙Except Iforgot to makeacopy ofthe key.当然Um,Jeremy coulduse mykey.我给了你一副钥匙Of course.那么晚安I gaveyou akey.晚安Well,then...Goodnight.I...我在那家餐厅…Yeah.一周后米兰达为杰瑞米举行•场欢送派对So,I wasat thatsame restaurant...hearts;hearts;—我想举杯敬我的好友米兰达A weeklater,Miranda threwJeremyagoing awayparty.她不但让我借住还帮我办了这个晚会fd liketomakea toasttomygood friend,Miranda,庆祝我的离开who notonly putme up,she threwthis soiree米兰达我知道你的暗示了in celebrationofmydeparture.我尤其要感谢她Okay,Miranda,I getthe hint.介绍玛德琳给我Uh...Td especiallyliketothank her一位不可思议的女人for introducingme toMadeline,她一定是醉了an incredible,beautiful woman才会答应嫁给我who mustbe drunkoff herass,唯一离去的是米兰达的美梦because shejust agreedto marryme.恭喜Apparently theonly thinggoing awaywas Mirandasdream.冰Congratulations.我们需要多一点冰Ice.有人说为自己买个家就会有人来求婚We shouldget moreice.我以为他喜欢hearts;hearts;的是我Everyone saysas soonas youget aplace of your own,someone willpropose.这个女人欠你抵押款I thoughtit wouldbe tome.这怎么可能?他们才刚认识Well,atthevery least,the womanowes youa mortgagepayment.这叫做“一见钟情”How isthis evenpossible Thesepeople justmet.亲爱的那才不是爱Its love at first sight.只是一个礼拜的性爱马拉松Oh,honey,this isntlove.hearts;hearts;而且是在我的家具上我一定要重新装潢This isabout twopeople justifyinga weekof nonstopfucking.On myfurniture,Ihaveto redecorate.这真是令人雀跃这表示就算不约会Well,I thinkthis isencouraging.也可以在几个礼拜内订婚This meansthat evenifyourenot datinganybody,或是约会一年you could be engagedin acouple weeks.得到一只电动牙刷刷头Or youcouldbedating someonefor ayear女人为什么对结婚这件事这么迷恋?and bethrilled toget anelectric toothbrushhead.已婚的人都想恢复单身I dontunderstand whywomen areso obsessedabout gettingmarried.如果你是单身全世界都是你的I mean,married peoplejust wanttobesingle again.抱歉这是杰瑞米菲尔德的订婚派对吗?If youresingle,the worldis yoursmorgasbord.红色雨篷那里那是个欢送会1Excuse me,can youtell meif this is whereJeremy Fieldsengagementpartyis我可以带你过去Its thered awning,and it*sagoing awayparty.你要去吗?Icantake youthere ifyoud like.我提早离开Were yougoingtothe party因为那里没有俊男Well,Iwasactually leavingthe party现在不一样了because therewere nohandsome menthere.我的公寓只为别人带来了幸运But maybethe tideis turning.hearts;hearts;哪一间公寓不曾带给莎曼珊幸运?My apartmentis gonnabe luckyfor everybodybut me.hearts;hearts;■这都是你的错-什么?What apartmentisnt luckyfor Samantha是你介绍玛德琳给我-Thisisall yourfault.-What我可以雇用同性恋设计师You introducedmetoMadeline.这一切就不会发生了I couldhave hireda nicegay decorator他们不会相遇and none of thiswouldVe happened.杰瑞米就会爱上我But thenMadeline and Jeremy mightnever havemet.这又不是抢椅子游戏Yes,andJeremywouldve fallenin lovewith me.为什么新娘不是我?我做错什么?我隐形了吗?Its notlike musicalchairs.能效劳吗?Why notme WhatamIdoing wrongAm Iinvisible我住在这里Can Ihelpyou那一晚我需要找人谈一谈I livehere!我参加的这场派对That night,I neededalittlereality check.有两个人认识一周就订婚了Hey,Iwasjust atthis party,所以说?and twopeople whomet aweek agoannounced theirengagement.我不知道这不是很骇人听闻吗?And在纽约没有什么骇人听闻的事Well,I dontknow,isnt thata bitshocking当众便溺都可以接受了Well,thisisNew York,nothing isshocking.但是他们认为对方是灵魂伴侣Weve embracedpublic urination.“灵魂伴侣〃他们真的这么说?But thesepeople thinktheyre soul mates.好几次Did theyactually usethe termsoulmates绝对撑不过三个月Yeah,several times.你现在穿什么?Then Igive themthree months.What areyou wearing你相信一见钟情吗?我相信一见起色心Do you believe in love at first sight■我是认真的■我也是I believe in lustat first sight.我需要一点视觉盛宴-Im serious.-So amI.我r不知道无肩带上衣C mon,I needa visual.丁尼布料I dontknow,a top,strapless.我打给你时是不是睡了?■Its denim.-Ooh.对Hey,were youasleep whenI called■抱歉■没关系Yes.下一次来应门时…不要穿衣服-Sorry.-Its okay.我不禁开始想But nexttime beatthedoor...naked.在纽约这样一个愤世嫉俗的城市I startedto wonder.还有可能相信一见钟情吗?In acity ascynical asNew York,我以前不相信is itstill possibleto believein loveatfirstsight但现在我知道不相信一见钟情Ed completelygiven upontheidea.是因为你没有经历过But nowI knowthe people who dontbelieveinloveatfirstsight一见钟情是给花花公子女郎的are thepeoplewhohavent experiencedit.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;在纽约简直不可能Love atfirstsightis forCarmen Electraand DennisRodman.在这里女人在给电话号码前Its tooflaky forNewYork.hearts;hearts;hearts;Here,women wantto seea bloodtest andan ATMreceipt要先看验血单和提款机收据在这里地铁站都有人朝你打手枪before theygive youtheir number.hearts;hearts;你怎么能相信一见钟情?How canyoubelieveinloveatfirstsight再一个月就要结婚的女人没有时间喝咖啡in acity wherepeople jerkoff onyou inthe subway所以我去玛德琳准备婚宴的现场A bride,four weeksfrom herwedding,doesnt havetime tomeet youfor coffee.一个到处都是花的婚礼So Ijoined Madelinefor amind-boggling hourinthepresence ofabsolute certainty.每个伴娘都拿着不同的花Like agorgeous Hamptonswedding,flowers,flowers,flowers everywhere.郁金香莺尾花百合rd likeeach bridesmaidto carrya differentflower.夏洛特应该要拿郁金香So,tulips,irises,lilies,gerbera daisies.她是我的伴娘之一Charlotte shouldhave thetulips.当然了她激动坏了Did shemention shesoneofmybridesmaids我们请米兰达负责签名簿因为她是介绍人Oh,of course,shes thrilled.凯莉我真的好喜欢你的专栏Ive alreadyasked Mirandatodotheguestbooks sinceshe introducedus.你可以帮我写些婚礼致词吗?You know,Carrie,Im sucha fanofyourcolumn.她要你写些什么?-Oh...-Is thereany wayyou wouldconsider writingsomething toread atour wedding关于爰的诗What doesshe wantyoutowrite天啊我希望你拒绝了A poemabout love.如果有人想让你参与她的婚礼你要怎么拒绝?Dear God,I hopeyou saidno.我要是知道就不会答应负责签名簿了How doyousayno tosomebody whowants youtobeinvolved inher weddingrIfIcouldanswer that,I wouldntbein chargeoftheguestbook.我能写些什么?我写的是性不是爱我才不知道什么是爱Oh...Why didI agreeto this我现在可以结婚了I writeabout sex,not love.What doI knowabout love什么I mighthavetogetmarriednow.跟那个在欢送会上遇到的男人结婚…What要是你结婚了我就要把公寓卖掉That guyI pickedup atMirandas...hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;简直不If youreengaged,Iamselling theapartment.那天晚上我们回到我家Hardly.拉我的头发…That night,we wentback tomy place...这一幕是那么地熟悉Tug myhair,tug myhair,tug myhair!。