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“新生儿送礼会”我们打开天窗说亮话有时候要为别人感到高兴Lets behonest真不是件容易的事Sometimes thereis nothingharder in life比如说乐透彩得主than beinghappy forsomebody else.或某个岁的成功人士Like lotterywinners27而最痛苦的就是or extremelysuccessful peoplewho aretwenty-seven.连朋友的鸡毛蒜皮小事都要麻烦你And thentheres thathell onearth新生儿的送礼会that onlyyour closestfriends caninflict onyou.你不能把我五花大绑拖去参加The baby shower.老实说蛮可悲的You couldnot dragme tothat thingif youput agrappling hookin mymouth.她得用孩子来证明自己的价值Frankly,I thinkits sad.没错The wayshes usinga childto validateher existence.她为何不学学我们利用性和酒来证明自己Exactly.我为她感到高兴Why cantshe justuse sexand anice cocktaillike therest ofus如果我再看到罐鸟Im happyfor her.I am.肯定撕烂它的嘴If Isee anothercrepe paperstork,你是讨厌送礼会?Im gonnarip itscardboard beakoff.还是讨厌兰妮办的?Can Iask you...would anybabyshowerbother youoris this one worsebecause itsLaneys讨厌兰妮办的你无法用言语形容兰妮柏林Laney Berlin.You cantreally describehe.每天有位员工要向我报告When I was seniorvice president,212现在我只能对着园丁大吼…212people reportedto meon adaily basis.而他却一个字也听不懂Now I just yellat thegardener...我还是一样who doesn*t understand a singleword.热爱我的生活Im exactlythe same.现在无时无刻我都只想到莉莎I lovemy life.有时我会带着随身听爬到孩子们的树屋But everynow and then I cant help but think about...Lisa.点根大麻听彼得费普顿的歌Sometimes Iclimb upinto thekids*tree housewith myWalkman,hearts;hearts;hearts;喂乳的孕妇能大吃牛排light upa jointand listento PeterFrampton.你知道我是什么感觉?Theres awoman in there breastfeedinga childwho canchew steak.如果你想这么做那可能也过了年纪了You know how Ifeel aboutthat杰瑞米不可以If youcan askfor it,youre probablytoo oldto haveit.我刚恍然大悟Jeremy,no!或许成长该伴随着成熟与智慧I justrealized,但“韩森和葛莉特〃童话中的巫婆弄错了maybe itsmaturity orthe wisdomthat comeswith age,女人建造了自己的梦幻之屋but thewitch inHansel andGretel,shes verymisunderstood.但爱捣蛋的小鬼们却纷纷来破坏I mean,the womanbuilds herdream house你家真是漂亮and thesebrats come along andstart eatingit.谢谢I just have to tell youyour homeis beautiful.这是人生的重大改变Thank you.但到了某个时刻就得认真看待人生安定下来I knowit*s a big change.生活可不是像贾桂琳苏珊小说But atsome point you have to getserious andsettle down.四个好友在城市中寻找真爰I mean,life isnot aJacqueline Susannnovel.住手Four friendslooking forlife andlove in the bigcity.这是你的送礼会不用自己清Stop it.对放轻松一旦陶德或夏拉出生后You arenot gonnaclean upat yourown shower.你就有得忙了Yeah,relax,cause oncelittle Toddor Shaylacomes around,你刚说〃夏拉〃youll neverstop cleaningup.这名字很特殊吧?Shayla Didyou sayShayla那是我的名字Its sounique,isnt it你应该是夏洛特吧?Its somy name.不是我取的名字I thoughtyour namewas Charlotte.那是我岁时No,its notmy name.Its my name.11为以后的女儿所取的名字My secretbaby name that Imade upwhen I was我告诉过你eleven yearsold formy daughterwhen I had her.I toldyou.你没告诉过我我不记得了抱歉真的没有Don*t tell me youdont remember.简直是在说谎No,Im sorry.I...I reallydont.她记得的A completelie.我们全都记得She remembered.夏洛特还要我们大家发誓绝不能用这个名字We allremembered.可能是我先生在哪儿听到的Charlotte hadmade usall swearnever touse it.是吗?在哪?我可没告诉他Anyway,I thinkmy husbandheard itsomewhere else.你居然会为个名字这么激动Really,where BecauseI didnttell him.你根本都还没怀孕I cant believe yourefreaking outover aname.这不是重点I mean,youre noteven pregnant.怎么了?Thats not the point!她偷了我女儿的名字Whats goingon贱货She stolemy babyname.hearts;hearts;走吧You bitch!坐在第五大道的弗兰格酒吧里开怀畅饮Lets go.是消除在兰妮家所受屈辱的最佳疗伤法Beers andbar nutsat Flanagansoff routefive假如我早点生那名字就是我的were theperfect antidoteto Laneyshouse ofhumiliation.;夏洛特你还年轻If I hadnt waitedthis longto have a babythat namewould bemine.要生孩子时间多得是Oh,Charlotte,come on.Youre stillyoung.才不是You haveplenty oftime tohave children.我才不要当个岁的妈妈No,no I dont.40没有冒犯之意I dont want to be one of thoseforty-year-old moms.我也不想当高龄产妇No,no offense.我可能也很难怀孕Well,Idon*twant to beoneofthem either.化妆室干净吗?There areno frozeneggs in my freezer.你觉得呢?Was thebathroom clean所以我才这么讨厌送礼会What doyou think参加后总是心情沮丧This iswhy Ihate babyshowers.派提再来一巡Always leavefeeling depressed.我可是热爱我的生活Patty,another round.我才不会因为这种无聊事就觉得自己不如人Well,I forone lovemy lifeand Iwill notbe我和位财经女强人谈话时made tofeel inadequateby allthis babytalk.她的话题都绕着尿布打转I spoketo awoman witha master*s infinance.根本没必要这样All shewanted totalk aboutwas herDiaper Genie.不用为孩子而牺牲掉自己Oh,come on,you guys,it doesnthave tobe likethat.我知道城里有很多时髦的辣妈You don*thaveto loseyourself tohave akid.而且事业成功I knowplenty ofcool,hip motherswho livein thecity谁?and whostill havegreat careersand stuff.我的月事晚了-Who-Who派提酒怎么还没来?Im late.I missedmy period.晚了多久?Patty,honey,where arethose beers几天而已…一星期How late亲爰的灰色地带I dontknow,just afew...seven days.没错你只是准备行刑Oh,honey,gray area.还没被枪决True,youre infront ofthe firingsquad,我有次晚了十天but youhaven*t beenshot.是吗?I wasonce tendays late.你有做爱Reallyhearts;hearts;没有Were youhaving sex你打算怎么做?No.告诉大人物?What are you gonna do不我不打算告诉他除非我知道…You gonnatell Mr.Big我知道该怎么…No,I amnot gonnatell himuntil I know whatI...除非我知道Until I know how I...What...」该怎么说完这句话No,Im amnot going totell him我错过了什么?until I know howto finishthe sentence.没有What didI miss当晚夏洛特拿出她的愿望箱Nothing.她把这一生所许过的愿望都放在里面That night,Charlotte gotout herwish boxwhere shekept给夏拉的礼物reminders of all thethings shehoped forinlife.在城里拥有一间大宅邸A giftfor Shayla.在东汉普顿有间海滨别墅A townhouse inthecity.hearts;hearts;白马王子A beachhouseinEast Hampton.替补的白马王子Her dreamman.令人奇怪的是脑中居然没有你这一生的画面Her back-up dreamman.于是早上八点时我抓了个人质Its verystrange whenthe lifeyou neverhad flashesbefore youreyes.hearts;hearts;和米兰达去逛街Carrie heldhostage,day eight.子宫好像觉得快爆掉了Miranda and I wentshopping.hearts;hearts;我该买哪一种?Im on total ovaryoverload.hearts;hearts;这个拍卖品只要半价Which kinddo Igethearts;hearts;亲爱的我上星期刚花美元Here,this oneson sale.Half off.买395了双古驰的开趾凉鞋Sweetie,I justspent threehundred andninety-five dollarshearts;hearts;・现在不是省钱的时刻-好吧on apair ofopen toedGuccis lastweek.这个呢?-This isnottheplace tobe frugal.-All right.一试就灵我记得它Well,what aboutthisone我记得以前用过这牌子来复验Oh,First Response.I rememberFirst Response.以防万一Ihada veryreassuring momentonce withFirst Response.如果我怀孕怎么办?Heres hoping.就接受现实What if I am我对这种事根本不在行If you am,youam.我像是具有母爱的人?I dontthink Idbe verygood atthis.我小的时候…I mean,am Imaternal我连续四天把洋娃娃放在外面淋雨-Um...-You know,when Iwas alittle girl,弄得面目全非I leftmy favoritebaby dollout inthe rainfor four days.这可不是好征兆Her facepeeled off.f对但…That cantbegood.有次我很生气还把它的头发剃光Yeah,but,I mean,if you...小时候我把橡皮筋I shavedmy Barbie*s headwhen Iwas madat her.绕在我的狗“胡椒〃的鼻子上When Iwas little,I tooka rubberband-怎么了?-天啊and putit aroundmy dogPeppers snout.你能想像那画面-What-Oh,God.我们有…Can youpicture it孩子Us with...怀孕KidsBabies.我可能办不到经过五个钟头吃了两包口香糖后ril probablyend upwith five.我决定除非自己已作好准备Five hoursand twopacks ofgum later,否则就不看检查结果I decidedI couldnttake thetest绝对不看…till Iknew exactlyhowIfelt aboutthe results.你好Either way...我是兰妮Hello.只是想告诉你很高兴见到你们Its Laney.我知道自己不对Ijustwanted totell youit wasso greatto see you guysthe otherday.可能是荷尔蒙作崇I knowIwasabigbitch,事实上兰妮的荷尔蒙从十岁起就开始作崇了but yougotta knowmy hormonesare goingwild.看到你们让我想起以前快乐的时光The truthis Laneyshormones havebeen goingwild sinceshe wasten.对以前狂欢作乐的日子And seeingyou mademe rememberhow much fun weused tohave.还用你说Yeah,we did.Its amazinghow muchtime has gone by.但我真的很想念大家Tell meabout it.我们应该常聚聚But Imiss us.I reallydo.我说的是在一起聚聚We shouldget togethermore often.不是说说而已而是真的找时间聚聚But,I mean,we shouldget together.必须的Not justsay weregoingto,but reallydo it.但我得走了要迟到了Absolutely.Listen,fve gotto go.Im runninglate.你要去哪里?莎曼珊办了个派对Where youoff to-是吗-对Um,actually Samanthashaving oneof herparties.真好-She is-Yeah.这就是我怀念的地方我喜欢莎曼珊的派对Oh,man.你怎么不通知我?See,thats thekind ofthing...I loveSamanthas parties.r下次好吗?我保证Why didntyoutellme好吧再见Next time,I promise,all right面对自己不如人之处Okay,bye.莎曼珊决定有所行动做些她最擅长的事Faced withher owninadequacy,她办了个“我没有小孩”的送礼会Samantha didsomething onlySamantha coulddo.1让大家知道她的迷人之处She threwan I dont have a babyshower很高兴见到你to leteveryone knowshe wasfabulous.我没有小孩Great to seeyou.大家尽量喝Oh,I donthavea baby!好玩吧?Everybody drink!对但没米兰达那么好玩Are youhaving fun米兰达仍然相信有了婚姻小孩生活就无望了Yes,I am,but notquite asmuchfunas Miranda.她选择即时享乐Still convincedthat marriageplus babyequals death,他是莎曼珊的会计师艾德Miranda choselife.若她在沙发上搞就得买下来Also knownas Ed,Samanthas accountant.hearts;hearts;大家好If shefucks on that couch,she buysit.好戏上场了Hey,you guys.你来做什么?The entertainmenthas arrived.做我最擅长的事What areyou doinghere狂欢What Ido best.我们还是坐下吧Partying!吧台在哪儿?Here,maybe webetter sitdown.给我杯饮料Fuck no.Wheres thebar我不确定你觉得这样好吗?Somebody getmeadrink!反正我随时都会生No,I dontknow,Laney.You thinkthats agood idea喝杯酒有什么关系?Fuck yeah,Tm dueany day.说不定还有助于生产Whats onelittle drinkgonna matter她敢在沙发上生就得买卜它Maybe itwill helpme go into labor.hearts;hearts;你在这里做什么?She givesbirth onthat couch,she buysit.她来这里做什么?What areyou doinghere・我想念大家-想念我们?What isshe doinghere是谁说我们是活在…-I missedyou guys.-Oh,us,us贾桂琳苏珊小说中的四个可悲单身女郎?The pathetic,live forthe moment,New Yorksingle girlswho thinkthat lifeis aJacqueline Susannnovel你一定常在想这个问题但…你到底哪里有问题?Look,Im sureyou getasked thisall the time,but...我的问题?what isyour problem简单说就是你毁了我的梦想My problem是吗?那么你们可真幸运Just thatIhada dreamand youkilled itin anutshell.还知道梦想的结果Really Well,then yourelucky.我却连自己在做什么都不知道Because atleast youknow whathappened to your dream.接下来的一个小时我忙着把她们两个分开I haveabsolutely noidea whathappened tomine.也忙着不让兰妮喝太多伏特加酒I spentthe nexthour keepingCharlotte away from Laney看谁出现了?and Laneyawayfrom the vodka.他是个接吻高手还免费帮我报税Well,well,well,look whocame upfor air.对不起凯莉Hes agood kisserand hesgonnadomy taxesfor free.你好强纳森Excuse me.Sorry.Hey,Carrie.我刚和你朋友夏洛特谈了很久Hey,Jonathan.;她真的很迷人她有在和谁约会吗?Listen,Ive justbeen talkingtoyourfriend Charlotte.只能亲身体会Shes reallygreat.Is,um,she seeinganybody那是八年前的事你可能也在场You justhad toknow her.饶了我吧Chances areeight yearsago,you probablydid.若她在我沙发上搞就得买下So helpme.hearts;hearts;你就是用这招买下我的沙发She fuckson mycouch,she buysit.hearts;hearts;兰妮让我们看一下咪咪Isnt thathow yougot thecouch frommehearts;hearts;拜托少来了Hey,Laney,show usyour tits!你们还没看够吗?Oh,give ita rest.兰妮的记录辉煌You guyshave seenenough ofmy tits.可能就像她自己说的为了性而付出惨重代价Laney didAR fora recordlabel,她只要一从童子军营回来or asshe usedto callit,sex withan expenseaccount.就会带些新东西回家Every timeshe wenton ascouting trip,像是不常见的妇女病she cameback withsome hotnew group现场这么多人围观andagynecological conditionno onehad everheard of.;她应该请个经纪人才对Those thingsmake somany publicappearances看看她they needa bookingagent.自信心不足的海报女郎Look at her.我自信心也不足但我用健康的方式来满足自己The postergirl forlow self-esteem.吃一大盒的欧瑞尔饼干You know,I havelow self-esteem butI expressit thehealthy way她真可悲by eatinga boxof DoubleStuf Oreos.脱掉Shes so sad.待字闺中只要别提夏拉这名字就好Wide open.对不起?Just dontmention thename Shayla.没什么私人笑话Sorryr放手去追吧Nothing.It sa privatejoke.他是强纳森比克斯Go forth...and date.是位房地产商His namewas JonathanBicks.hearts;hearts;hearts;刚成交了一笔汉普顿的房子He wasa traderat BearStearnshearts;夏洛特突然觉得她并非失去一切and hadjust closedescrow ona houseintheHamptons.当她啜饮啤酒时Charlotte suddenlyrealized allwas notlost.脑子里已开始策划她的梦幻之屋As shesipped herbeer,这派对烂透了she mentallyscotch-taped herdream houseback together again.兰妮我送你回去吧?This partysucks.;不我不要回去Laney maybewe shouldthinkaboutgetting youhome,all right各位谁想看我的咪咪No,I dontwantto go backthere.hearts;hearts;我想看Hey,you fuckers!Who wantstoseemy tits兰妮回来别这样Ill takea look.放轻松会很好玩的Laney,Laney,come on,come back.Dont do this.好开始狂欢了Relax.This isgonna befun.孕妇要秀她的咪咪了All right,look.Now weregonna havea party.hearts;hearts;天啊All right.Pregnant ladyshowing hertits!Oh,my God.我本来还以为自己很可悲但这让我再次确认我的生活是美好的This isat onceso sad有点怪andthe most fabulousvalidation Iveever gotteninmylife.我觉得我办不到This isweird.算了吧I dontthink I can dothis.兰妮除了想重获自由生活外No biggie.hearts;hearts;显然她的隐形电墙Despite herbest effortsto runfree,也蔓延到曼哈顿了it appearedthat LaneyBerlins invisibleelectric fence我知道自己办得到stretched allthe wayto Manhattan.只要再给我次机会No,no,IknowIcando it.兰妮你已经不是以前的你了Just...just giveme onemore chance.没关系的Laney,Laney,its notwho youare anymore.但我不知道事情怎会变成这样Its allright.没人告诉我会变成这样But Ididnt know that was gonna happen.应该有人要警告我No...nobody toldmethatwasgonnahappen.没关系I mean,somebody shouldwarn you.有一天当你醒来时All right.却再也认不出自己One dayyoure gonnawake up麻烦载她到康涅狄格州and yourenot gonnarecognize yourself.Can youtake herto Connecticut隔天我花了一整天坐在公园里看着小孩玩耍如果我有孩子我能应付得来吗?I spentthe entirenext daysitting ona parkbench watchingchildren play.当个称职的妈妈?If Ihad to,could Idothis我该如何保住自我?Would Ibe anygood你好Would Isomehow manageto stayme天啊Hello.抱歉Oh,my.没关系她好可爱Oh,sorry.对大部分时间是Thats okay.Shes adorable.你要回家吗?Yeah,most ofthetime.好再见You wanttogohome Yeah.再见Yeah,yeah.再见Bye.Bye-bye.在回家路上我的月事来了Bye.On theway home,I gotmy period.莎曼珊和兰妮是长久以来的死对头Take itoff!两人都性感狂野Samantha andLaney hada longstanding rivalry.也都极度缺乏安全感Both wild,both sexy.两年前兰妮做了一件惊天动地的事Both incrediblyinsecure.她遇到华尔街的投资专家Two yearsago,Laney didthemostshocking thingof all.闪电结婚搬到康涅狄格州She meta WallStreet investmentbanker,事情怎么会这样?married himand movedto Connecticut.她应该和席得维休斯上床而染上毒瘾That wasn*t supposed to happen.我们去吧hearts;hearts;这应该很有趣She wassupposed tohave sexwith SidVicious andmove toheroin.反正我们没去过康涅狄格州Come on,you guys,itll befun.没错但这不是理由Weve nevereven beento visither inConnecticut.-怕得到莱姆关节炎?-这理由不错Exactly.Theres areason forthat.是怕送礼会-Lyme disease-Thats anothergood one.不是是怕仪式But its a babyshower.仪式?你说什么?No,its acult.听着出席的人都穿得一成不变Its acult Whatareyoutalking about而她们的共同目标就是将一生奉献给…孩子Listen tome.They allthink thesame,dress thesame她哪根筋不对?and sacrificethemselves babies.Shes insane.我有两位姐姐已变成妈妈辈我知道那种情况Hey,Ive losttwo sistersto the motherhood.我们应该去这样才对Iknowwhat Imtalking about.说个好理由I thinkwe shouldgo,its theright thingto do.好你不能把车开到路中间时看到标示Give meone goodreason.写着〃前有两头蛇〃就打退堂鼓Okay,youre drivingdown theroad,you seea sign,1就像兰妮要办送礼会一样it says,Two-headed snake.You pullover.她说得没错我们应该去Wild Laneyis havingababyshower,you pullover.去看看她臃肿肥胖的模样Shes gota point.Its theright thingto do.当我写行事历时我发觉到有件事不对劲Just imaginehow fatshe mustbe.在凡赛斯服装秀和到蒙巴餐厅用餐之间As Ipenciled inthe date,I noticedsomething missing.有件事漏了In betweenthe Versaceshow anddinner atMoomba,r我的月事晚了四天there itwasn t.到了星期六就足足晚了一星期My period...fourdays late.四个时髦入时的女人要去看位乡巴佬了到了没有?That Saturday,also knownas sevendayslate,four citygirls setoff tovisit thecountry mice.我已经喝了两杯Are wethere yet我们停太久了Ive alreadyhad twoof these,真漂亮so weregonna bestopping alot.要在送礼会上跳肚皮舞?Hey,nice outfit.对送完礼物后Is theregonna besome bellydancing atthe shower可恶我完全昏头了Yeah,right afterthe gifts.忘了买礼物Oh,shit.I totallyspaced.hearts;hearts;送大把现金给准妈妈会不会太奇怪?I forgotto buyherapresent.别担心How tackyis itto givethemothertobea fistfulof cash你可以和我一起送Oh,don*t worryabout it.你送瓶威士忌给孕妇?You cangoinon mine.我是照她说的You boughta pregnantwoman abottle ofscotch就是带自己的宝贝一起参加The invitationsaid BYOB.・你送什么?■保险套That meantbring yourown baby.说真的送什么?-What didyou get her-Condoms.说真的Seriously,whatd yougether蜡笔Seriously.各位等我Theyre pastel.等一下Oh.Hey,guys!Wait,wait!天啊Hey,guys,wait forme!看她拿那么大的婴儿篮Oh,my God.Wait!这样能开到康涅狄格州?Look atthe sizeof thatthing.也算我一份We candrive thatto Connecticut.出发了Im puttingmynameonthatcard.有人会开车吗?Go,go,go,go,go.当我把中型跑车开进蜀葵巷时Does anybodyknowhowto drive对周遭满是自然美景的房子As Iturned themid-size coupeontoHolly Hocklane,hearts;却感到很不真实Iwasstruck byhow aplace sofilled withnature真不是盖的could lookso unnatural.这里可不是曼哈顿了Oh,Toto.房子美呆了Idontthink werein Manhattananymore.hearts;还有小狗Oh,her houseis beautiful.过来Oh,and look atherdog.过来乖Hey,boy.过来Hey,boy,come here,boy.它怎么不过来?Come here,boy.隐形的电墙Why didnthe come新发明Invisible electricfencing.我姐也有Its thelatest thing.准备上场了My sisterhas it.走吧Okay.Ready,girls夏洛特别忘了你的礼物Let*sgo.;快Ooh,Charlotte sweetie,dont forgetour gift.看看你挺着大肚子Come on.Oh,lookatyou,youre huge.很棒吧?现在我可以尽情大吃嫉妒吧?Iknow,isnt itgreat快进来Icaneat anythingI want.Jealous快进来Come onin.布里姬萝克珊她们是城里来的朋友Come in,come in.・你们好-还以为你们到不了Brigid,Roxanne,these aremy friendsfrom thecity.我们迷路了走错桥-Hi.-We didntthink youdmake it.还记得住在曼哈顿时的感觉吗Oh,we gotlost.We tookthe wrongbridge.只要一离开曼哈顿就好像完全迷路了Oh,remember thatfeeling likeif youleft Manhattaneven fora second,天啊没错youd falloff theedge ofthe Earth你们好Oh,God,don*t remindme.天啊Hi.是贝里尼的婴儿篮Oh,my God.各位Its theBellini babybasket.大家看是贝里尼的婴儿篮Oh,look.说到这个我可打算要狂欢畅饮一番Everybody,its theBellini babybasket.嫉妒吧?Speaking ofbellinis,Fm gonnahaveabig drink.她还是到处夜夜笙歌和人上床Jealoushearts;hearts;hearts;Is shestill barhopping andbed hopping真可悲f她也只能那样It ssosad,isnt it这是瑞贝嘉When thatsall youhave.你好Okay,this isRebecca.苏珊Hi.Hi.你好Susan.明蒂-Hello.-Hello.别站起来Mindy.-Hey.她快生了Dont getup,sweetheart.不适合乱动She*s doingthis invitro thing.这是贝茜和哈利Shes notsupposedtomove atall.母子俩形影不离任何事都一起做And thatsBetsy andher boy,Harry.我们戏称他们就像对老夫老妻Theyre inseparable.They doeverything together.但令人难过的是We callthem ourold marriedcouple.贝茜和先生正在办离婚Except itsnot reallythat funny兰妮来一下nowthatBetsy andher husbandare gettingdivorced.现在我们只须等这个完美小子赶快出生就好Laney,we needyou.我好爰我儿子So,all I havetodo tomeet theideal manis...give birthto him.安迪个月大I lovemy son.11Andy*s elevenmonths old.他就像上帝一样我每天对着他说话活到三十而立的年纪He isa GodandItellhimso everyday.你觉得有哪个女人Thirty yearsfrom now,能令安迪觉得快乐?what doyou thinkthe chancesare thatsome womans答案是〃没有”gonna beable tomake Andyhappy好可爰Im gonnago withzero.看夏洛特的模样Oh,its adorable.真希望也有我的尺寸Look atthat Charlotte.我就说这是个无聊的仪式Oh,I wishthey madethis inmy size.我们绝不能分开I toldyou,itsacult.如果她们让你落单下场就很惨We cantseparate.当我看着兰妮撕开棉织围兜时Once theyisolate youfromtheherd,its allover.脸上兴奋的表情就像她扯开As Iwatched Laneytear opena terrycloth babybib摇滚巨星裤子一样我不禁好奇…with thesame enthusiasmshe oncereserved fortearing off下一个会是我吗?rock stars*pants,I couldnthelpbutwonder...我要去洗手间was Inext如果你五分钟内不回来我就去找你You knowwhat,Ihaveto pee.事实是我必需逃离现场If yourenot backin fiveminutes,Im comingafter you.送礼会已变成展示会The truthis Ineeded toescape.人生成果的展示会我不知道自己做好准备没有The partyhad turnedinto a preview,就算怀了七个月的身孕apreviewofalife Ididnt knowifIwas readyfor.兰妮还是不喜欢穿上衣服Even sevenmonths pregnant,显然过去的兰妮还是存在的Laney couldntkeep herclothes on.我不禁感到好奇这些妈咪内心究竟有何秘密?Clearly apart ofthe oldLaney hadsurvived.结婚前我到处和人上床But Iwondered,what wasstill burieddeep insidethe mommiesdownstairshearts;hearts;现在我有个网路情人Before Imarried myhusband,I sleptaround witheverybody.但没人知道这秘密Now Ihave aninternet lover.我还是资深副总裁时No oneknows.。