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欲望城市(性爰专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问)“只有寂寞〃hearts;hearts;有一天连纽约最愤世嫉俗的女人都能完成There is one day她一生的梦想even themost cynicalNew Yorkwoman dreamsof这一定会很棒all herlife.白色的花白色的桌巾Itll befabulous.;还有食物全都是白色的Everything whitewhite flowers,white tablecloths,她想像她要穿什么white food,W-H-I-T-E,white!此起彼落的闪光灯跟干杯声She imagineswhat shellwear,大家都在庆祝她找到了・・・the photographers,the toasts.出版商Everybody celebratingthe fact that shefinally found...这是她的新书发表派对...a publisher.这是非常性感的活动Its herbook releaseparty.不要害怕使用各种颜色This is a sexyevent,我什么都不怕so dontbe afraidto usecolor.粉红色好吗?Im not afraid ofanything.・火热的粉红色•粉红色How aboutpink这真的很完美吧?-Hot pink.-Pink.这个派对会非常盛大Isnt itperfectIts huge.宴会厅很大书一定会很畅销Huge space,huge book.我会陪你去的Yes,and Ill be withouta plus one.他应该说“我们”的ril beyour plus one.Coffeeu我们要一起去干洗店He shouldhave saidwe something.我们可能很快就会分手We goto thisdry cleaners.n1我没告诉沃克我生了孩子We mightbe breakingup soon.•你怎么不说呢?•我找不到机会说I didnttell WalkerI hada baby.如果他问起“你最近生过孩子吗?”-How couldyou notmention it-It didntcome up.我会说〃这要看你怎么定义最近了”11If Walker had askedme directly,Have yougiven birthrecently你必须告诉他1I wouldhave said,“First ofall,define recently.我会说的You have to tell him.我不希望他改变我的生活I know.I will.我没有孩子的话我们会约会I just dont wantit tochange everything.如果凯莉的男人没有女朋友If I didnt have a baby,this is a guyId bedating.她会跟他约会If Carriesguy didnthave a girlfriend,但他有女朋友then hes a guyshed bedating,谢谢你又提起这件事but hedoes.在纽约你总是在找Thanks forbringing thatup again.In NewYork,they sayyoure alwayslooking for工作男朋友跟公寓hearts;hearts;就说你完成了三分之二的梦想a job,a boyfriend,or anapartment.它们都很棒So,lets sayyou havetwo out of three,为什么要让我们无法拥有的事and theyrefabulous.影响我们对既有生活的感觉?Why dowe letthe onething we dont have为什么少了另一半affect howwe feelabout all the thingswedohave感觉会那么空虚呢?Why doesone minusa plus one莎曼珊不需要男人来肯定她feel likeit addsup tozero但她需要男人定期在她额头上打针Samantha didntneed a man tomake herfeel positive,hearts;hearts;我们会警告病人but shedid needa manto injecther foreheadevery sooften.有些人无法适应手术后的改变We like to warnour patients打完针后他们的脸部会毫无表情that somepeople findit difficultto registeremotion你会说“我非常生气”on theirfaces afterthe injections.琼斯小姐很熟悉这项手术“I amso angry.她是新来的?Miss Jonesis familiarwith theprocedure.像大多数有权势的女人一样New ones莎曼珊可以应付工作压力Like mosthigh-powered women,;却受不了皱纹Samantha couldhandle the stress ofher job在打肉毒杆菌前but notthestresslines.Before wedo theBotox,你想做化学脱皮术吗?只需要花十五分钟have youthought about a fresheningchemical peel它会让你看起来年轻十到二十岁It takes15minutes,十五分钟后and itcan makeyou lookten to20years younger.莎曼珊真的…15minutes later,脱皮了Samantha seemedto have it all...有些时候女人能够享受寂寞...peeled off.我的天啊There aretimes whena womanrelishes beingalone.通常是因为Oh,my God!你遇见了你不想见到的人And thoseare thetimes我就遇到了伊妮德you usuallyrun intosomeone you dont wannasee.时尚杂志的编辑也是一个人In mycase,it wasEnid Frick,hearts;hearts;凯莉my editor at Vogue,also alone.伊妮德你好Carrie.・你好吗?■我很好Oh,Enid.Hi.你跟别人有约吗?-How...How areyou-Good.Good.不我只是来吃饭Are youmeeting someone你要不要…No,Im justgrabbing aquick bite.不我怕打扰你工作Well,um,would you like to...没事的我只是在看书Oh,no,not if youre working.Oh,no,its fine.I was just reading.,,哈喽”你好Hello!我是指你…Hi.看的杂志-Hello!is what you are...-Oh!hearts;hearts;你真的要和我一起吃饭?Reading.当然我已经点菜了So,do youreally wantcompany这样子我才能报帐Sure.I justordered.对I...I guessthis wayI canexpense it.沙拉才吃完一半我们就聊完了Right.时尚杂志的话题Enid and I ranoutofVogue stuffto talkabout hearts;hearts;你住在附近吗?midway throughour salads.不Do youlive in the neighborhood但跟我男朋友住在附近No.你交了男朋友But the man Imseeing does.没错我交了男朋友Oh.So,there*sa man.那真是太棒了Yes.There isaman.你的事业成功又有男朋友Well,thats great.You have a wildly我很担心女人无法兼顾successful careerand arelationship.事业跟爱情I wasworried,we,you know,women,但你做到了only getone orthe other,伊妮德你得给我一些灵感but you have it all.我真的是肠枯思竭了Enid,you gottagive mesomething here.好吧Im workingmy assoff.说到杂志的专栏我是个好题材.・・Alright.hearts;hearts;我住东区To speakin magazinecopy,yes,I haveit all...他在西区还有一个情人on theEast Side.中央公园是缓冲区He has someone elseon theWest Side.hearts;hearts;你接受这种事?Luckily,the parkprovides abuffer.・・对我没有时间照顾男人So.Youre okaywith that我的工作很忙Yes.I dont have time for a full-time man.那就是重点I have a full-time job.别期待Thats thekey tohaving itall.爰情会像你想像的那样Stop expectingit to look like爱情跟男女关系就是那么一回事whatyouthought it was going tolooklike.伊妮德的至理名言让她获邀参加我的派对Thats true of thefall lines,and itstrueofrelationships.那晚夏洛特让她的完美情人占有了她Her littletip earnedEnid oneinvitation tomy party.她甚至让他在她的完美公寓里过夜That night,Charlotte lether perfect plus onehaveitall.hearts;hearts;是曼贾我订了早餐She evenlet himstay thenight inher perfectpre-war apartment.你真的是太体贴了Oh,yeah,thats Mangia,I orderedbreakfast.不幸的是…Youre toogood to be true.送上门来的不是夏洛特订好的早餐Unfortunately...有人在家吗?Charlotte was about to get muchmore thanshe ordered.我在家Is anybodyhome你好夏洛特Yes.I am.;邦妮你来这里做什么?Oh,well,hello Charlotte.问题是你在做什么?Bunny,what areyou doinghere管理委员会告诉我一些事The questionis,what areyou doinghere他们在监视我?Im hearingthings from the co-op board.柯利尔太太说你白天时在走廊上They*re spyingon me吻了一个男人Mrs.Collier sawyou kissinga malecaller in the hall我相信接吻应该不犯法in themiddle ofthe day.皮尔斯太太说有个男人I believe that kissingis allowed.我们猜应该是同一人谁知道呢他昨晚跟你一起And Mrs.Pierce saida gentleman,回家we assumeitwasthe sameone,but whoknows,根据门房的说法他还没有离开came homewith youlast night.hearts;f我在我的公寓里怎么过生活…And accordingto thedoorman,he hasnt leftyet.hearts;hearts;这就是问题所在了亲爱的What Ido with my life,in myapartment is...这不是你的公寓Thats thething,dear.hearts;hearts;崔把这间公寓给了我Its notyour apartment.hearts;hearts;这由不得他决定Trey gaveme thisapartment.这间公寓是麦克道格家的财产Its notTreys togive.至于你夏洛hearts;hearts;特约克你不是麦克道格家的人And thisapartment remainsin theMacDougal name.这是个难题更严重的是Whereas you,Charlotte York...do not.see,事实上你仍是有夫之妇So,you itsrather asticky subject,你结婚了?made stickierby thefactthatyoure stillmarried.我没有结婚我分居了Youre married你忘了穿裤子吗?Im notmarried.Tm separated.・你必须离开•别推我Arent youmissing apair oftrousers这是香奈儿的套装-You...You have to go.-Dont youhustle meout,young lady.夏洛特发现当她的男伴This isChanel.撞见了她的前婆婆那表示一场大灾难要发生了Charlotte discoveredthat aplus one,同时我打算成为派对的焦点人物plus oneex-mother-in-law equalsdisaster.・你好・安东尼是我的男伴Meanwhile,I wasmanning partycentral.你的完美情人怎么了?-Hello.-Anthony isgoingto be mydate to the party.我不想谈What happenedto thisperfectplus one weall hadto meet亲爱的…I dontwanna talkabout it.我有电话进来你等我一下Well,sweetie,what ha...hearts;hearts;Thats mycall waiting,can youhang on a sec不行锁匠来了r邦妮她回来了No,I cant.你好Thats thelocksmith.Bunnys back.我在你的宾客名单上吧?Ooh.Hello.当然So,Im definitelyon the list,correct很好我要带我男朋友去Of courseyoure on thelist.我听说了Good,cause Imbringing my boyfriend.我不希望当无名小卒Yes,Ive heard.现在我有伴了I dontwant toseem like a nobody,没关系你没伴的时候就是无名小卒吗?now thatI havea somebody.很显然“没有人爱你你就是无名小卒”Oh,so itsokay to be anobody when youhavenobody我以前很喜欢那首歌Apparently,youe nobodytill somebodyloves you.hearts;r那像是我们的国歌I cant believeI usedto like that song.hearts;有人妒忌了Its theco-dependent nationalanthem.我很怀念你当我男伴的时光Oh,me thinkssomeones a little jelly.男同性恋是单身女郎最好的保护网Well,I justmiss havingyou asmy plusone.连夏洛特都有男同性恋男伴You know,the gayguy isthe singlegals safetynet.这是我很重要的一晚Even Charlottehas agay plusone.她的烂朋友安东尼也会去?And this is mybig night.对他是派对的负责人Her littleboy-bitch Anthonyis coming我很高兴他带女伴参加派对Yes,hes coming.He styledthe event.因为我带的是男伴Well,good,Tm gladhell bethere.我有电话进来Because hesbringing awoman and I haveitall.hearts;hearts;今晚见Oh,and I haveacall.再见See youtonight.你好Okay,ciao.亲爱的我做了一个小手术Hello!已经没有昨天糟糕了但是…Honey,Ive hada littlesomething done.我看起来好多了And its not asbad asyesterday,but...Ive lookedbetter.我想我不该去参加派对你非去不可Uh...Tm notsure Ishould goto the party.你是我的宣传因为你You have to come.有八千人会到场Youre mypublicist.And thanksto you,我希望我的朋友能在场支持我theres goingto be8,000people there.那个…莎曼珊I wouldliketosee at least onefamiliar face.我需要你我无法应付媒体Well...Samantha,我没办法让大家保持清醒I needyou,I canttalk tothe press.你说过你会陪我的I cant keep everyonestraight.好吧And...you saidyou wouldby my plusone.别担心我会出席的Oh,alright.太好了谢谢你Dont worryaboutathing.Illbethere.这派对将会非常精彩并且在以后成为大家讨论的话题Okay,thank you.事实上我的派对The partywas one of thoseamazing events that woulddefinitely endup onpage six.有漂亮的小蛋糕The factthat itwas my party,还有漂亮的服务生穿梭其中wasjusticing onthe beautiful little cakes凯莉布雷萧看这边再来一张that werebeing passedaround bybeautifullittlewaiters.太棒了凯莉看这边Carrie Bradshaw,right here!Carrie,one more!好的谢谢你Oh,thats great!Carrie,right here!天啊凯莉Alright,gentleman,thank you.再来一张布雷萧女士Oh,my God,Carrie!•你能相信吗?-如果派对One more,one more,Ms.Bradshaw!抢走了书的风头那是件坏事吗?-Can youbelieve this-Is ita badthing我一直在拒绝每一个人if the party isbetter thanthe book这里没有异性恋男人■Ive beenturning peopleaway.-Oh...你看到莎曼珊了吗?Not thestraight men,of course.“浮华世界〃没有位子Hey,have youseen Samantha那不是你的问题好好玩吧-Oh,no.-Vanity Fairdoesnt havea table.大帅哥-Oh!-Not yourproblem.Enjoy.・谢谢你凯莉■你好Ooh,cute guy.你好凯莉我是〃纽约客”的哈洛德奇南Thank you,Carrie.-Hey.我一直都很注意你-Hello,Carrie.Im Harold Keenan ofThe New Yorker.-Oh...恭喜你And Ivebeen followingyour career.・谢谢・・・・凯莉-Oh.-Let mejust say congratulations.我在这里-Thank you...Carrie.你看起来棒呆了Im here!“纽约客的哈洛德奇南这位是莎曼珊琼斯You lookamazing!我的宣传你在做什么?HaroldKeenanfrom TheNewYorker,this isSamantha Jones.快跟他说话让他看看你的脸Bee keeper.What areyou doinunder there凯莉Talk totheman.Let himsee your face.我的另一半Carrie!脱了一层皮There shewas,my plusone.・谁会来参加派对?•每个人都会来Minus onelayer ofskin.这真的是太疯狂了•Whos coming-Everyone.宾客名单Okay,this iscuckoo.当你的事业一飞冲天时Guest list!能不被冲昏头脑真的很难When yourcareer isgoing betterthan ever,同时米兰达开始上班了its hardnot to get abig head.她很高兴自己能恢复上班Meanwhile,Miranda wasback at the office沃克路易斯打电话找你and shewas politicallyincorrectly happytobethere.hearts;hearts;我接I haveWalker Louiscalling.米兰达跟沃克在她生孩子前有过很激烈的一夜「ril takethat.我很高兴我没有等hearts;hearts IWhearts;你打电话给我Miranda andWalkerhadshared onenight ofgreat sexB.C,Before Child.hearts;hearts;我很高兴你记得我Im soglad I wasnt waitingfor yourcall.我记得你Im soglad youremember me.我也记得你Oh,I rememberyou.我记得你裸体的样子Oh,I rememberyou too.你好吗?I rememberyou naked.有什么新消息吗?So,how youbeen老样子你呢?What*s newwith you我希望再跟你约会Nothing much.How aboutyou星期四可以吗?I washoping totake youonavery belatedsecond date.她邀请他参加新书发表派对How aboutThursday你好我做了化学脱皮术我是凯莉的宣传Hi,Ive hada chemical peel.你不能把化学脱皮术Im Carries publicist.跟凯莉的宣传分开来说吗?Could youatleastseparate thetwo thoughts,你为什么要这么做?chemical peel,Carriespublicist我被医生强迫推销Why didyou dothis你被强迫推销时只能买口香糖这要比买口香糖严重多了-It wasan impulsepurchase.-No,no.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;我希望在派对上表现出最迷人的一面Gum isan impulsepurchase.This ismore thangum.你看起来跟生腌牛肉差不多I wanted tobesuper freshfor theparty.•快把面纱放下-不Well,you are.You looklike beefcarpaccio.你应该知道有多少晚宴-Veil down,I think.-No!我都是戴着面纱出席-Yeah.-If youknew howmany dinnerparties Ivesat through你能吃东西吗?across fromone ofthese.凯莉我做了化学脱皮术And youwere ableto eat等一下那顶帽子很漂亮Carrie,Tm entitledto a chemicalpeel.Wait!Wait!No,no,no.The hatwas good.女人不应该隐瞒因为她们应社会的要求Women shouldnthave tohide in the shadows做的整容手术because theyvehad cosmeticsurgery,先遮一下到别的地方说吧which societynearly demandsof them.这是我的派对你吓坏了客人Wear aribbon andmake thatpolitical statementelsewhere.-凯莉-你好This ismypartyand yourescaring people.我做了化学脱皮术Carrie!-Oh,hi.她勇于承认事实Ive hadachemicalpeel.我隆鼻时在家里待了一个月And shesnot afraidto sayit.对不起When I had mynose job,I stayedin for a month.我们得去找夏洛特跟她的小朋友Oh,excuse us.我们认识彼此We have to gofind Charlotteand hertiny littlefriend.我一定要告诉他We werejust gettingto knoweach other.夏洛特用蒂芬妮的盒子把它包好I wasplanning ontelling him.除非你想先上床Char,you canwrap itup in a Tiffanybow allyoulike.hearts;hearts;・夏洛特你好・史丹佛还记得安东尼吗?The pointis youwantedtoget laidfirst.安东尼…当然记得-Charlotte,hello.-Hi,Stanford.You rememberAnthony你想帮我们做服装秀Anthony...Oh,oh,of course.我不知道你也会来You triedto fixus upat thefashion show.I didntknow hedbe here.他是我的男朋友马可斯是吗你们在一起多久了?Um,thisis,um,Marcus,myboyfriend.四个月Really How long you two beengoing together已经四个月了祝你好运-Four months.Hm...我们不需要好运我们彼此相爰Four wholemonths.Good luckto you.虾We dontneed luck.We*re inlove.对某些人来说拥有还是不够的Shrimp!他们需要看到别人的嫉妒For somepeople,having itall isnot enough.我们要在汉普顿买房子They needsomeone whomissed outon itall tobe jealous.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;该死的虾Were gettinga houseinthe Hamptons.你对它们的尾巴做了什么事?This friggincoconut shrimp!虾先生What doyoudowith thetails他的老二很大Mr.Shrimpy!汉普顿的哪个地方?And hehas alarge penis!目前为止我的王牌还没出现.…Where intheHamptons也许我们该到人比较少的地方From apair ofqueens to a handstill notshown...像是…Maybe youand Ishould gosomewhere a little lesscrowded.曼哈顿的某个地方Like,um...你家呢?Anywhere inManhattan没问题Your apartment但…我要先告诉你一件事Yes.你有别人了But,um...first I havetotell yousomething.可以那么说Ah,there*ssomeoneelse.我生了一个孩子Huh,sort of.但我还是可以做爱I hada baby.hearts;hearts;是・・•我的孩子吗?But Im still allowedto havesex.不Is it,uh...mine他爸爸是我的朋友我们不小心上了床No!No!我不是喜欢孩子的人The guy*safriend whoI accidentallyslept with.我也是Im notgood withkids.如果以后我们还在一起Neither amI.我们会想出解决的方法Look,months fromnow,if we*re stilltogether,现在只要想着你跟我我还是跟以前一样well figurethis out.But fornow,所以让我们疯狂地做爰吧its justus and,um,Imstillthe same person.hearts;hearts;我觉得好奇怪So,lets goscrew ourbrains out.■你确定我们不会吵醒他?-他没事Oh,that feelsamazing.他没事别管他-You surewe wontwake him-Hes fine.米兰达想证明她还是能做爱Hes fine.Forget abouthim.hearts;hearts;她把男人带回有孩子的家里想要跟他做爰达到高潮Miranda wastrying toprove shecould stilldo itall.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;沃克别停Bring homethe bacon,bring homethe baby,and bringhome anorgasm.妈妈来了Oh,Walker.Dont stop.我想我做不到Mommys coming!Mommys coming!我说过我不喜欢孩子I dontthink I can dothis.让我先来好f吗?I toldya,I mnot ababy guy.现在你却不哭了Couldnt I just pleasecome first好了只剩下我们了Oh,so nowyou stopcrying.我办派对的那晚So,here we are,huh米兰达终于跟现实妥协The nightof mybig party,她不再是以前那个米兰达Miranda finallygave into herlittle party,她有伴了because shewasnt the sameperson.书?She wasplusone.现在还有人看书吗?So,a book看书的风潮再度流行你可以在公车厂告上看到我A book.Does anybodyread booksanymore“看书的风潮再度流行〃艾赛克米兹拉希Well,actually,I thinkbooks are coming back.hearts;hearts;You canquote meontheside ofa busifyouwant.■我会记住的•来找我Books areback.Isaac Mizrahi.派对很棒恭喜你-Okay,Fil rememberthat.-Alright.Meet me.值得你赶到城里来?Bye.-Perfect party,Carrie,congratulations.是或不是?Worth comingdowntown for是最后一件Was thata yesorano谢谢你Last one.Thank you.我环顾四周心想谁需要伴呢?我可以自己拿蛋糕把它吃掉As Ilooked aroundI thought,who needsa date突然间…Icanhave mycake andeat it,too.他来了比我印象中还可爱Then suddenly...并且他没带女朋友来There hewas,looking cuterthan Iremembered.今晚的女主角你真的很难找And minus one girlfriend.装点心的盘子也一样Hey,lady ofthe hour.Youre hardtogetto.比较起我的新书发表派对So isthe desserttray when it*s yourparty.我只是你帐单上的小零头Uh,just asa point of reference,我只请了跟我认识的四百个人my book party couldfit ina coatcheck ofyour book party.你看起来很漂亮400of myclosest acquaintances.我还以为你不会来You lookgreat.我必须来跟你说声恭喜So,I thoughtyou couldntmake it.-谢谢你赶过来柏格■是Well,I hadto comeby,saycongratulations.好吧-Thanks forcoming,Berger.-Yeah.祝你的书大卖All right,uh...hearts;hearts;也祝你一切顺心Good luckwith thebook and...你也一样and everything.他就是让你心动的男人吗?You,too.没错-Excuse me.-Hey!Was thatthe sparkguy杰克柏格只有他一个人来-Yes itwas.-Mm.他真的很可爱Jack Berger,all byhis lonesome.是吗?我又忘了Well heis awfullycute.他会来这里一定是因为他也有感觉Is heI forgotagain.你能在计程车里提前打电话告诉我这件事吗?Hes obviouslyhere becausehe feltsomething,too.hearts;hearts;我爱你但你的脸…Can youcall mefrom acab andtell methat我知道I loveyou butyourface...服务生不准我接近餐台Oh,I know.你不介意我先告退吧?The catererjust shooedme awayfromthebuffet.我还以为你不想回家了Do youmind ifI gohome谢谢你赶过来I thoughtyoud neverask.亲爰的我可是为了你才愿意这样公开露面Thank youfor beinghere.我知道我必须忍受这一点Honey,I wouldnthave goneout inpublic likethis for anyone butyou.hearts;再见I knowand I havetolive withthat.再见Bye.我也该走了我的男伴为了端虾的服务生抛弃我Bye.我也想离开但我非留下来不可I mightgo,too,myplusone dumpedmefor a shrimpwaiter.我像是派对里Mm,rd loveto leave,but Ihavetostay.一定要有的冰雕-Hm.-Tm like the icesculpturethe partyssupposed tohappen around.我也该忘了他对吧?我希望他一开始就告诉我Ihadto lethim go,correct有些事人们就是不愿意承认I justwish hetold meright upfront.因为他们不喜欢那些事引发的气氛比如…The thingis,theres somethings peopledon*t admit“我离婚了because theyjustdontliketheway itsounds,like...我很寂寞Im gettingdivorced.真的Im lonely.寂寞是可以了解的I am.凯莉你没告诉我你邀请了克利夫The lonelinessis palpable.・哪个克利夫?-我的克利夫Carrie,you didnttell meyou invitedCliff•他跟她一起来•就是他?-Cliff who-Cliff!Cliff!My Cliff.热门体育的克利夫布利根?-And heswith her!Thats him别大声嚷嚷Cliff Braginfrom PrimeTime Sports这里是她的地盘Dont makea scene!我们在休斯顿街以南This isher sideof town东区西区谁知道这里是哪里?Were belowHouston.我好生气East side,west side,who thehell knowsdown here结果证明连最理智的女人I amso angry.遇到爱情也无法保持理智As itturns out,even themost together-woman-她是谁?-我的角色模版cantkeepit togetherwhenitcomes tolove...-Who wasthat-My rolemodel.在心里我们仍是有血有肉的人再见Because justbelow thesurface,were allraw andexposed.这个派对是为谁办的?Bye.为我办的我要出书了Well,so,what wasthepartyfor你写了一本书?Um,me.Ihavea bookcoming out.那只是收集了我的…You wrotea book对我写了一本书Well,its justa collectionof my...太棒了恭喜你Yes,I wrotea book.谢谢Thats amazing!Congratulations!这真的很棒Thank you.但为什么需要陌生人来提醒我?It waskind ofamazing.你要到哪里去?Why didI needa strangerto remindme ofthat我要回家就在街跟…So,where can I takeyou73不我们得好好庆祝一下Oh,home.73rd and...我想告诉他Oh,no,no,no.We haveto celebratethis.・不我不想…-她写了一本书Oh,canItell himI wannatellhim.不会吧?恭喜你-Oh,no,I dontthink...-She wrotea book!・书快要上市了?■对Oh,no kiddingcongratulations.Gonna beinthebookstores真不错真的是那样的话-and everything-Yep,yep.Thats great.Hey,well,if thatsthe casethen tonight...热狗算我请客不你不必…the hotdogsare on me.我坚持Oh,no,you donthavetopay for...・谢谢你-谢谢No.Dogs areonme.I insist.祝你有个愉快的周末-Thank you.-Thanks.我只想到谁需要柏格呢?Sure,haveanice weekend.-Thank you.你可以用七毛五分钱甚至免费买到好吃的热狗All Icould thinkwas,who needsa Berger谢谢hearts;hearts;whenyoucan geta fabuloushotdogfor seventy-five cents,or free但或许有些事的发生是想告诉你那个人真的存在Thanks.Then again,maybe thereis somethingto knowingtheyre out there.她知道她可以抛开拖油瓶She invitedhim tobe herplusoneatthebookparty梅格答应当保姆since sheknew shedbe convenientlyminusone.同时夏洛特在跟她的完美男人交往贾斯汀安德森三世Magda hadalready agreedto babysit.谢谢你请我吃午餐Meanwhile,Charlotte wasJustin Andersonthe third.又陪我走回家Well,thanks foranother lovelylunch,这是我的荣幸and forwalking mehome.贾斯汀出现得正是时候My pleasure.夏洛特终于准备好Justin wasjust intime,接受一段新关系because Charlottewas finallyready午安柯利尔太太foranew relationship.Good afternoon,Mrs.Collier.是的确是她真的很友善Yes,it certainlywas.我该回去上班了And shesoneofthe friendlyones.好吧I thinkrd betterget backto work.-再见一再见Okay.我也跟我的出版商展开了一段新关系-Bye.-Bye.好的再见I wasinanew relationship,too,withmypublisher.我很期待这个派对Mm-hmm,okay,bye-bye.说真的凯莉我们很受注目I amso freakingexcited aboutthis party!大家都想来参加新书发表派对Seriously,Carrie,weareso golden.康泰纳仕旗下所有人都想来People actuallywant to come tothis bookparty.包括有些编辑是异性恋你们一定很佩服我我想说的就是这些All ofConde Nastis coming,GQ includingGQ,which hasactual重点不是卖书straight men.Someone betterkiss meat thisthing.Thats allI gottasay.hearts;hearts;而是帮自己找男朋友So,itsnotabout sellingbooks.柯特妮…Its aboutfinding youa boyfriend.抱歉我不知道你办公室里有人Hey,Courtney...Oh!杰克你在做什么?I didntknow youhad somebodyin here.Tm sorry.我来借用影印机Oh.Jack,what areyou doinghere第二本书写完了?Using theXerox machine.不是我的自杀字条You finishyour secondbookNo,my suicidenote.你要“快来约我”卡片吗?谢谢你Would youlike aSave theDate card你们认识?Please.不You knoweach other凯莉布雷萧-No.-No.她的新书这星期上市Oh,Carrie Bradshaw.真的太棒了Her bookof essayscomes outthis week.杰克柏格我们去年出版过他的第一本书Oh,very exciting.你姓柏格?Jack Berger.We publishedhis firstbook lastyear.她从来没听说过我And yourname isBerger我觉得你们的宣传部有问题Never heardof me.我不是你的主力读者What doesthat sayabout yourpublicity department没错因为她不是你们的一分子Not yourprimary market.杰克出版了针对男人设计的漫画小说Right,because shesnot inmy immediatefamily.就像你的女性专栏一样Jack wrotea hilarious comic novelthat speaksto men只不过男人不会买漫画小说thesameway yourcolumn speaksto women.hearts;hearts;那是一大缺点Yeah,except men dont buyhilariouscomicnovels.•你的书呢?•卖掉了一半Thats theflaw inthe plan.hearts;hearts;现在是这么说的卖掉了一半-Whats yourbook-Half-off.hearts;hearts;有时候在第六大道的卡片摊上可以用七毛五分钱买到Thats whatits callednow.Its justhalf-off.hearts;hearts;Sometimes its75-就放在线香旁边-没错cents ona cardtable onSixth Avenue.你们应该谈一谈-Next tothe incense.-Exactly.因为他是过来人他很了解这些You know,youtwoshould talk,派对签名会以及巡回演说的事because,you know,he knowsthe wholedeal,几分钟后theparty,the signings,the reading,the tour.杰克柏格跟我一起坐着吃速食Minutes later,我不是想喂它们我只想打它们Jack BergerandIslowed downforalittle fastfood.看得出来Im notso muchfeeding themas Imhitting them.男人是在压抑愤怒Yes,I seethat.或是他不喜欢鸽子呢?女人一直都很好奇“Did theman havealittlerepressed anger女人一直都受困于〃压抑”这个字眼Or didhe justdislike pigeonsThe womanwondered.我一点都不难过The womanis trippingover theterm repressed.我只是在试穿它Im notreally bitter.我想它很适合Im justtrying iton forsize.真的吗?胯下有点紧I thinkit fits.你跟我说‘胯下”吗?我们才刚刚认识Yeah.Its alittle tightinthecrotch.袖子太长了吗?Youre sayingcrotch tome Wejust met.-看起来不会-看吧一定是胯下的问题Long inthe sleeve草莓奶昔好喝吗?-Not asfunny.-See that,It hadtobecrotch.”非常好喝谢谢你How*sthatstrawberry shake我不敢相信你点了草莓奶昔Its verytasty,thank you.过了十一岁后谁会喝草莓奶昔?I cantbelievethatyou orderedstrawberry.你该多多学习了解女人Who ordersstrawberry afterthe ageof11有些读者是那么说的You haveso muchto learnabout women.接下来呢?你还能陪我多久?Yeah,thats whata fewreviewers said.我不知道你今天还要做别的事吗?All right,whats nextHowlongdo Ihave youfor我要去拿送洗的衣服Well,I dontknow.What elseisonyour agenda你觉得跟我一起去会有点奇怪吗?I gottapick up some dry cleaning.你要我去帮你拿衣服才叫做怪怪的Would itbe weirdfor youtocomewith meto pickupsomedrycleaning街角有家餐厅不错适合全家人去No.It wouldbe weirdfor youto sendme.他们还有算盘Its anice place.Its rightaround thecorner.Family joint.我们的第一次会面非常美好They havean actualabacus.真正的约会是不会发生这种事的谢谢We werehaving oneof thosegreat firstdatesyou canonly havewhen itsnot anactual date.・那是什么?■这真的很蠢Thank you.我收集扑克牌-Whats that-Eh,its stupid.到处可见扑克牌-I collectfound playingcards.-Oh....真的吗.真的…Theyre allover thecity.■我没注意过•你会注意的-Really-Yeah.Its...这是我的目标-I nevernoticed.-Well,you willnow,我希望收集到完整的扑克牌thats howit works.加入这张十一之后Im hopingtogetafulldeck.我还差一张红心二Insert theobvious jokehere.今天我很开心And,uh,Ididnthaveatwo ofhearts.我也是Its agood day.柏格Yes,it is.我们可以直呼对方的姓氏?Hey,Berger.没错Were ona last-name basisnow柏格你愿不愿意...-Yeah.-Okay.当我星期四的男伴?Berger,would you,by anychance...我要办新书发表派对但我还没有男伴want tobe myplusoneon Thursday既然你的衬衫都洗干净了…Its mybookpartyandI donthavea date,and...我很乐意Youll havethe cleanshirt andall.So...但我女朋友的父母要来看我们I wouldlove that,um...他们要住我们家But mygirlfriends parentsare comingto visit,那就像是不断引爆的炸单and they are stayingwith us.hearts3hearts;我有女朋友It waslikeabomb thatjust keptexploding.Ihavea girlfriend.我们住在一起你一直想着你们的美妙互动We livetogether.他应该早点提起她的This wholeflirtations inyour head.也不能太早He shouldVementioned herearlier.我讨厌那样子But nottoo early.“我有女朋友”I hateit whenmendothat.冷静一下我只是想问那位子有没有人坐Ihaveagirlfriend.那家伙是个混蛋Calm down.I justasked ifthat seatwas taken.hearts;hearts;我不那么r认为That guysajerk.我为这个男人心动Thing is,Idontthink heis.我从来没有心动过I sparkedwith thisperson.我好奇他们有多快乐I neverspark.那不是我的优点I wonderhow happytheyare.说真的如果他们已经有伴了This isnotagood sideof me.何必麻烦呢?Seriously,whats thepointofmeeting someonelikethat大家都说好男人真的存在if theyrenot available我认为好男人全都有伴了Its the universe telling you they*re stilloutthere.我给你说所有的好男人都会来参加派对Maybe itstheuniversetellingyouall thegood onesare taken.他长什么样子?Im tellingyou,allthegood onesarecomingtotheparty.我记不得了What didhe looklikeI cantremember.我真的喜欢某人就会发生这种事我只记得他给我的感觉Which iswhat happenswhen Ireally likesomeone.或许他只是我的幻想Ijustremember afeeling.我渴望心动的感觉所以幻想出那个男人Or hewasadating mirage.别说了你是全市的风云人物Iwasso hungryforaspark,I hallucinatedaman.快把沙拉吃完Stop.Youre thetoast ofthe town.我请你去打肉毒杆菌Finish yoursalad.你的语气好像大家都会去打And Illtreat youtoalittle mani-pedi-Botox.他们会的I likehow yousay thatlike everybodydoes it.我宁愿上床睡觉Everybody will.hearts;hearts;亲爰的你好好想一想I thinkrd ratherjust crawlinto bed.你的事业有趣刺激Oh,honey,alittleperspective!hearts;hearts;又知性You havea fun,exciting,大家要为你办盛大的晚宴intellectually stimulatingcareer,但是我没有男伴and theresabout tobe ahuge soireethrown inyour honor.。