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欲望城市(性爱专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问)“冷战”hearts;hearts;天气变冷了纽约客涌入室内Whenitgetscoldoutside,想办法取暖NewYorkersheadinside,小心你的手先生andlookfor waystogenerateheat.我的手好冰你好温暧那么…Watchthosehands,mister.大家都在看Theyarecoldand youarewarm,so...没有人在看Peoplearelooking.佩特洛夫斯基Noone islooking.你好Petrovsky!你坐在包厢里Oh,hi.不然我要坐哪里呢?Seatedatthestartable,Isee.--起坐吧-我们不想...Whereelsewould Ibe・不…•来吧-Comeand joinus!-No,wewouldntwantto...你是我们的救星-No...-Yes,come.纽约有一万间餐厅大家却都挤到帕斯底斯来Youvesavedourlives.我来介绍TenthousandrestaurantsinNewYorkandeveryonesatPastis.约翰保罗桑达尔Introductions.纽约最棒的画家-ThisisJohnPaulSandal.-Hi.我不会请你们吃午餐ThemostfantasticpainterinNewYork.然后…我有事要宣布Imnotpayingforlunch.Well,youknow,wehaventseenyouinforever...伊丽莎白泰勒要参加狗展and,and...Oh,Ihavenews!我的伊丽莎白泰勒ElizabethTaylorisgoingtobeinadogshow!恭喜MyElizabethTaylor.、白C谢o谢ngratulations.米兰达很想跟你说话Thankyou.史密斯是男同志And Mirandareallywantstotalktoyou.你真的不来吗?And Smithisgay.史密斯是男同志?Whatdoyoumeanyourenot coming别扯开话题Smithisgay我大老远从布鲁克林跑来Donttrytochangethesubject.然后呢?IcameallthewayinfromBrooklyn!你却想尽借口跑到城里来Oh,whoareyoukidding你还没有履行承诺去布鲁克林Youduseanyexcusetocomeinthecity.凯莉?YouowemeatriptoBrooklyn.我们很好没事Carrie史密斯不是男同志Werefine.Everythingsfine.外面好冷别出门Smithisnotgay.跟你的性感男人待在市区Itstoocoldtoleave thehouse.接下来的四天...我真的那公做了Youstaydowntownwithyourhotman.天啊WhichisexactlywhatIdid...forthenextfourdays.由于专栏严重脱稿Oh,my...我还是离开了俄国佬温暖的公寓Withmycolumntragicallyoverdue,hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;我的天啊IfinallylefttheRussianswarmapartment回家过水深火热的生活Oh,goodGod!当你所有时间都沉溺在新世界里And camehometothetropics.很容易就会忘了Whenyouvebeenspendingallyourtimeinyournewworld,旧世界的人想要联络你itseasytoforgetthattheremightbepeople小鬼你还好吗?tryingtoreachyoufromyourold world.我刚把新买的卡贝尔内放好Hey,kid,howsitgoinghearts;hearts;这让我想起你WejustputournewCabernettobed.回个电话给我Mademethinkofyou.hearts;hearts;星期六晚上十点Give meacall.你在玩欲擒故纵吗?Saturday,10:00p.m.我打过你的手机但我想我记错号码广Playing hardtoget,huhhearts;hearts;hearts;除非你是叫做帕可的臭男人Calledyourcell,butIthinkIcopiedthenumberwrong.我想跟你谈一谈问电话给我Unlessyoureaticked-offguynamedPaco.hearts;hearts;星期一下午两点Hey,Iwanttotalktoyou.Callme.凯莉Monday,2:00p.m.又是我Carrie听着我做了什么事把你惹毛了吗?Itsme...again.如果我真的那么做了打电话给我我会道歉的好吗Listen,uh,didIdosomethingtotickyou offhearts;hearts;好IfIdid,callmeand Illapologize,okay星期三晚上八点Okay.删除留言Wednesday,8:00p.m.删除留言Deleted.我删掉了大人物的留言Deleted.-你删掉了大人物的留言?-没错IdeletedBig.你打电话跟他说了吗-YoudeletedBig-Yep.hearts;hearts;没有Did youcallhimtotellhimyou deletedhim那真是稀奇Nope.我删掉了留言Wow!Thatsnew.删掉了上星期他的三次留言Delete,delete,delete.你觉得他干嘛打电话来Threemessageslast week.hearts;hearts;我不知道Whatdoyouthinkhewascallingabout这是我第一次真的不在乎Dontknow.经过上次的事件我终于懂了那会有什么结果呢?And forthefirsttime,dontreallycare.我跟俄国佬是认真的Afterhislasttrip,whatsthepointhearts;hearts;真的吗?ThingsareseriouswiththeRussian.太棒了Really它真的很不一样还有...Thatsgreat.什么?Itsjustsodifferentandso...相处得很成熟What我不再疑惑Itsgrown-up.不必担心他对我的感觉Theresnotalotoffuss.他常常告诉我他爱我Theresnoconfusionabouthowhefeelsaboutme.我不必再对着答录机说话Hetellsmeallthetime.听起来很不错UnlikeansweringmachineupthereinNapa.我只有一个问题-Soundsperfect.-Yeah.我开始担心我跟史蒂夫之间了-Theresjustone thing.-ThankGod.你有什么问题?IwasbeginningtofeelbadaboutSteveandme.我们拥有彼此却没有任何的共通点Whatsthething我们不参与彼此的生活Wedontreallyhaveanythingincommonbuteachother.他从不谈论他的工作Werenotreallyinvolvedineachotherslives.我也不跟史蒂夫谈论我的工作Henever sharesanythingabouthiswork.他不介意吗?IdonttalktoSteveabout mywork.他喜欢那样And hedoesntmind但你们会分享其他的事情Ithinkheprefersitthatway.我们住在布鲁克林Butyouguys shareeverythingelse.这里没有其他人会跟我聊天BecausewereinBrooklyn.另外凯莉每对恋人都是不一样的Theresnoone elsetotalkto!对我开始觉得Besides,Carrie,everycouplesdifferent.恋人得分享一切Yeah,Iguess Ijusthadthisidea至少他们得分享热情aboutacouplesharingeverything.你想拥有真正的热情吗?Atleasttheirpassions.凯莉欢迎回来Youwantpassionsontop ofpassion看到新墙了吗?真的有进步吧?Hey,Carrie!Welcomeback.没错开始有点像样了Youseethenewwalls.Niceprogress,huh-那是什么?-我在路上帮你们买了甜点Illsay.Itsreallycoming together.hearts;hearts;布鲁克林最好吃的东西Whatsallthat-Istoppedoffandpickedupsomedessertforyouladies.我买了起司蛋糕...还有甜酥卷Brooklynsfinest.hearts;hearts;真的是太棒了Igotcheesecake...cannolis.我把这个放到厨房去Whatadelightfulborough.hearts;我喜欢你朋友来家里玩Illputthisstuffoutinthekitchen.我要你跟我的俄国溜人见面Ilovehavingyourfriendsover.hearts;hearts我等不及了Iwantyoutomeethim...myRussian.壁炉真的很温暖吧?Cantwait.早安Thatlog isreallyheatinupthejoint,huh你又熬夜了?Goodmorning.Allnightagain.作品做得如何?很明显他的沉默说明Howstheworkgoing我们的早餐一点都不热情Itwasclearfrom hissilencewewerenthaving你星期天晚上要做什么?passionsontopofpassionsforbreakfast.我不知道怎么了Hey,whatareyoudoingSundaynight我在想Ihavenoidea.Why既然那天我已经见过你的朋友Well,Iwasthinking,或许你该见见我的朋友sinceImetsomeofyourfriendstheotherday,那些人是我的同事不是我的朋友maybe youcouldmeetsomeofmyfriends.我的朋友大多数都在欧洲Thosepeopleweremycolleagues,not myfriends.我的朋友都在这里她们都是好人MyfriendsaremostlyinEurope.那么我很乐意见见你的好朋友Well,myfriendsarehereand theyarefantastic.太棒了Then,onSundayIllbehappytomeetyourfantasticfriends.顺带一提你在纽约有个朋友那就是我Oh,goody.你是我的情人不是我的朋友And FYI,youhaveafriendinNewYork...me.这是更棒的关系Youarenot myfriend,youaremylover,到床上来吧andthatisamuchbetterthing.不Mmm,cometobed.我得回家写稿Oh,no,no,no.我不能再迟交了Ihavetogohome.Ihavetowritemycolumn.在这里写吧Icantturnitinlateagain.不行我的电脑在家里Workhere.我有部很适合写稿的电脑Icant,mycomputersathome.你愿意让我用你的高级电脑?Ihavecomputer.Verygood forwritingcolumns.交换条件是你得陪我上床•小时Youwould letmeuseyourfancycomputerhearts;hearts;好吧Inexchange foronehourinbed.据说不同的人能吸引彼此Okay.但没有人知道能吸引多久但这种善于人际交往的人Theysaythatoppositesattract,buttheynever可以通过工作点燃跟朋友间的激丁情吗sayforhowlong.Shouldtherelationship-sawy或是我们应该person heartshearts;stoke满足于thefiresofpassion withthekindlingofworkandfriends令人兴奋的浪漫?Orshould wesimplybesatisfied我不禁纳闷无法分享彼此的世界…witharomance thatsizzles激情也会冷却吗Icouldnthelp butwonder,withoutsharingyourworlds...hearts;hearts;(冷却吗?)caneventhehottestrelationship stopcold与此同时莎曼珊即将听到最热门的八卦话题两个年轻公关正在闲聊Meanwhile,Samanthawasabouttohearthehottestrumor看到史密斯杰洛德的照片没?hearts;hearts;fromthecitystwoyoungPRgirls.我不相信他是男同志Did youseethatpictureofSmithJerrodonline那么帅的人不可能是异性恋Icantbelievehesgay.我觉得他在跟莎曼珊琼斯交往Noone thatgood-lookingiseverstraight.IthoughthewasdatingSamanthaJones.这段时间我以为她是纽约性生活最精彩的女人结果她只是个老巫婆Allthistime,Ithoughtshe hadthehottestsexlifeinNewYorkCity.那浇了莎曼珊一头冷水Turnsoutshesjustafaghag.接下来是猎犬组And thatstoppedSamanthacold.大家都在谈我And herecomesthehoundgroup.八卦杂志把我从荡女变成老巫婆Everyoneistalkingaboutme.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;至少现在大家知道你是谁Intheblinkofatabloid,IwentfromDemi toLiza.“身份不明的老男同志”Atleastpeopleknow whoyouare!因为那张照片马可斯得到三次试镜机会Unidentifiedoldergaygentleman.我被遗忘了Marcusgotthreeauditionsoff thatpicture.可怜的史丹尼Igotouted!他们怎么知道我是同志?Aw,poor Stanny.我赌块四号雷吉纳德会赢How cantheyjustassumeImgay有人要10hearts;跟吗?Okay,IvegottenbucksonLord Reginaldthefourthdownthere.你可真棒Any takers我大老远从布鲁克林Oh,youareagoodfriend.跑来看狗绕着圈圈跑AllthewayfromBrooklyn她参加我孩子的受洗礼toseeabunchofdogsruninacircle.我来看她的宝贝比赛Shecametowatchmybabygetbaptized.Icametowatchherbabygetjudged.我几乎不敢出门老巫婆所有人都会一直记着这事Ialmostdidntshowmyface.Faghag.你不该为了小事大惊小怪Theregoyearsandyearsoffuckingeverythingthatwalks.我没办法得了癌症又被说是老巫婆Ithoughtyouwerentgonnasweatthesmallstuff.你们明晚想见俄国佬顺便一起喝几杯吗?Look,Icanthave cancerandbeafaghag.hearts;hearts;-想-算我一个Hey,doyouguys wanttohavedrinkswiththeRussiantomorrownight我也要-Sure.-Ooh,Imin.亲爰的抱歉Metoo.这是女人的聚会Oh,sweetie,Imsorry.现在我是什么东西?itsjustthegirlsthistime.身份不明的老男同志朋友?Oh,whatamInow,你被安排在下一回合我保证yourunidentifiedoldergayfriend好了我得去看看小妈妈了Youllbe inthenextround,Ipromise.慢慢来Okay,Igottagobackstageand checkonthelittlemother.我们还要看枪鸟犬组工作犬组Well,takeyourtime.还有玩赏犬组天啊WevestillgotSporting,andWorking,这可不是我今天期待的“项目”andToy,oh,my!它看起来好漂亮一点都没错Thiswasnotthetype ofblowjobIwashopingfortoday.你看到评审们多么喜欢它吗?Shelookssopretty!Yes,shedoes.我觉得它很有机会赢得比赛Did youseehowimpressedthehostcommitteewas我以为有那么多狗来比赛Ireallythinkshehasachance.这里至少会有个肌肉男同志Youknow,youdthinkwithallthesefaggy littledogs然而没有这里只有那些大屁股萝卜腿的老太婆theredbeatleastone hornycircuit-musclegayhere.hearts;hearts;小夏No,nothin butboxy,thick-leggedladiesandtweedyold queens.你剪到手指了吗?-Char-Hmm这里有血Did youcutyourselfwiththescissors等下那是它的血Therearedropsofblood here.不别告诉我…Wait!Itscoming fromher.不它发情了No,donttellme...hearts1hearts;情况...Oh,no,shesinheat.怎么了?Hey,howsit...那只狗的那个来了Whatswrong你说什么?Thefriggindogjustgotherperiod.它的大姨妈来了比赛结束-Excuse me-Oh,yeah.别这么说我们还能比赛AuntFlosindoggytown.Showover.有次我那个来还是拿下了少年体操冠军Dontsaythat!Wecanstillcompete.它是小狗Ionce wonajuniorgymnasticsmeetwhenIhadmine.你要怎么办?去买迷你卫生棉吗?Itsadog.hearts;hearts;你说得对那不好笑Whatreyougonna doRunaroundlookingforateenytinytampon我是女人我应该很了解的Youreright,itsnot funny.有麻烦了伊丽莎白泰勒那个来了Imawoman.I shouldknowbetter.・什么?・小狗伊丽莎白泰勒来了月经Trouble.ElizabethTaylor justgotherperiod.我就觉得它看起来肿肿的-What-Mm-hmm,backstage.Thattimeofthemonth.难怪它刚刚那么骚Ithoughtshelooked alittlebloated.接下来是玩赏犬And shewassobitchyearlier.许多观众不了解And herecomethetoydogs.你认识我的助理李欧卓拉库克艺术生活杂志的编辑-Youknow myassistant,Lee.-Yes,hi.hearts;hearts;凯莉布雷萧AudraCook,shestheeditorofArtLifemagazine.帅哥李告诉我们你要在巴黎办展览-CarrieBradshaw.-Hi.・恭喜•我也听说了HandsomeLeehasjustinformedusofyourupcomingshow inParis.所以你准备在巴黎网球场国家画廊办个展-Congratulations.-Yeah,right.你又开始胡说了AsoloexhibitatTheGalerieNationaleduJeudePaume.Justanotherday.我一直都是这样Youaresofullofshit.-这是你四年来第一场个展?-是六年才对Inever saidIwasnt.全世界的人都屏息以待-Thisisyourfirstnewexhibitin...whatFouryears-Six.我们要菜单跟酒单Well,theworld iswaitingwithbreaththatisbaited.它们如何?Weneedmenus,andawinelist.牡期蛮好吃的Sohowarethey不我是指他的作品Theoystersareverygood.我不知道No,hispieces.我还没有看过它们Oh,um...Idontknow.你是艺术家吗?Ihaventseenthemyet.不我是作家Areyouanartistaswell你写小说?No,imawriter.不我在报纸写专栏NovelsNo,Iwriteacolumnfor anewspaper.-纽约寸旅吗-纽约星报hearts;hearts;B heartshearts;比起体型大的狗狗这些小狗很难照顾Manyviewersdontrealizethattheselittledogscanactuallybealothardertocareforthanonestentimestheirsize.步法很重要查理王猎犬动作敏捷接下来是西施犬还有玛尔济斯犬Gaitisimportanttothisgroup andtheKingCharlesSpaniel下一位是迷你杜宾狗冠军ismovingnicely.NexttoheristheShihTzu,and thereistheMaltese,BigBarkLittleBitefollowedbytheminiaturePinscher,Champion Big评审员已将入围者范围缩小到贵宾犬BarkLittleBite.冠军ThejudgehasnarroweditdowntotheToyPoodle,Diamond Kiko西施犬冠军ChampionDiamond Kiko;Irisaki博美犬冠军theShihTzu,ChampionIrisaki;Justine Greystoke查理王猎犬还有伊丽莎白泰勒thePomeranian,ChampionJustine Greystoke;加油伊丽莎白泰勒andtheKingCharlesSpaniel,ElizabethTaylor.由于出身上流社会Woo!Comeon,ElizabethTaylor!Woo!夏洛特非常适合参加狗展Charlottewasadogshownatural让我看看它们的动作thankstoherblueblood background.说到这一点...Letmeseethemove.评审再度检查狗狗的步法Andspeaking ofblood...第一名Thejudgeisexaminingthedogsgaitsone moretimebeforehemakeshisdecision.查理王猎犬One!接下来是西施犬博美犬…ItstheKing CharlesSpaniel.FollowedbytheShihTzu,thePomeranian...•那是我的朋友•还有贵宾犬所有的狗狗都是冠军-Thatsmyfriend.And theToyPoodle.但对评审来说…Allthedogswerechampions.夏洛特是最亮眼的明星Buttothejudge...说完了(又指月经)Charlottewasthebestinshow.莎曼珊琼斯...Period.我就知道是你SamanthaJones...汤姆你在这里做什么?Ithoughtthatwasyou.我负责这个烂比赛的宣传工作Tom,whatareyou doinghere你能给我史密斯杰洛德的电话号码吗?Ihandle thepressforthistackything.hearts;hearts;hearts;汤姆不行Listen,could IgetSmithJerrodsnumber我跟他有一腿Tom,no.当然Imfuckinghim.我成了超级大笑话Sureyouare.我得阻止这一切Imalaughingstock.从狗展到狗趴式…Ihave gottoputastoptothis!你确定要这公做吗?Andfromdogshow todoggyshow...巴黎希尔顿因此一炮而红Areyousureyouwanttodothis我得清楚地表达我的意思ItworkedforParisHilton.我不在乎大家以为我是男同志Ineedtosettherecordstraight...literally!ButIdon*tcareifpeoplethinkImgay.这跟你无关开始做的时候你一定要说Thisisntaboutyou.“莎曼珊琼斯你是最性感的女人”Now,whenwegetgoing,“我可以整晚跟你做爱莎曼珊琼斯”SamanthaJones,youareone hotpieceofass.你要怎么把消息放出去?hearts;hearts;Icould fuckyouallnightlong,SamanthaJones.我是公关高手Howareyougonna getthisaroundhearts;hearts;我知道该把录影带交给谁ImaPRpro.隔天两个公关Iknow exactlywhosehandstodropthisinto.接到了联邦快递送来的限制级录影带hearts;hearts;下次你一定要来Theverynextday,twoPRgirls gotananonymousTriple-XfromFedEx.它真的好高兴Youhavetocomenext time.你知道什么事能让它高兴吗?Shewassohappy.别让皮带绑着它Youknowwhatwould makeherhappy我想还是不要吧Lettingheroffthatshowleash.如果它受伤了呢?Oh,no,Idontthinkso.别这样亲爱的Whatifshegetshurt让它自己为胜利庆祝一下Comeon,honey.你说得对Giveheralittlevictorylaponherown.好吧伊丽莎白去玩吧Youreright.你看Okay,Elizabeth,goplay.它交到朋友了那真的很棒吧?Oh,look!不住手Shemadealittlefriend.Isntthatsweet住手Oh!No!它是血统纯正的冠军狗住手No!Stop.Stopthat!亲爱的快想办法哈利Shesablueribbonwinner.Stop!Stopit!快点Honey,go!Dosomething,Harry!-它在发情-走开Hurry!hearts;hearts;走开别碰它-StopitShesinheat!-Hey,hey,stayaway.别碰伊丽莎白泰勒Oh,stop it.Getthemoff!小心那只大狗GetoffofElizabethTaylor!伊丽莎白泰勒在公园被轮暴Watchoutforthebigone!hearts;hearts;天啊那太像年代会发生的事了ElizabethTaylorgotgang-bangedinthepark80我们坐在亚洲古巴Oh,God,thatsso80s.等我的俄国情人TherewewereatAsiadeCubahearts;hearts;(俄国佬)waitingformyloverdeRussia.你在哪里?hearts;hearts;说真的我不敢相信那么多狗上了它Hi!Whereareyou太恶心了我的小女孩Seriously,Icouldnot believehowmanydogsshewaswith.我想它已经变成女人了Itwasdisgusting.Mysweetlittlegirl.真的吗?Well,Ithinkshesawomannow.不我了解Oh,really我会的No,no,1understand.他没办法来Okay,I will.真的是太糟糕了Well,hesnot gonnamakeit.-他没事吧?-没事-Oh,thatstoobad.-Oh.工作室里有些事没做完-Isheokay-Yeah,no.他走不开Hesjustinthemiddle ofsomethingathisstudio.我能理解如果他的灵感来了Hecantstop rightnow.他的确不该半途而废Iunderstand,ifhesfeelinginspired,他在准备巴黎的大型个展…thenheshouldntstop.最近常常熬夜HesgettingreadyforthisbigexhibitatsomeParismuseum...我真失望Hesbeenstayingupnights.我想让你们见见他Oh,Imdisappointed.下次再说吧Iwantedyouguystomeethim.这是佩特洛夫斯基先生的…Anothertime.道歉礼物Complimentsof aMr.Petrovsky...要不这样吧withsincereapologies.我们酒足饭饱后Hey,youknowwhat把这个打开给他些时间Whydontwefinishtheseoff,然后到他家去吧crackthisopen,givehimsometime,andthengooverthereandsayhello.亲爰的你确定可以打扰他吗?我们只是去打个招呼Oh,honey,areyou sureyouwanttodisturbhim他总是说要我随性一点Yeah,yeah.Welljustgosayhi.喝了几杯鸡尾酒Hesalwaystellingmetobemorespontaneous.并且将香槟都喝光后...Acouplecocktails太好笑了andabottle ofchampagnelater...八楼内衣部Thatwashilarious!公寓工作室Eighthfloor,lingerie.hearts;hearts;…整层楼都是他的Uh...apartment...studio.等一下Hehasthewholefloor.我得准备好Waitaminute,waitaminute.你好Sistersgottagetready.你好Hello你在做什么?Oh,hi!Hi.我在随性而为Whatareyou doing我说过我在工作Imbeingspontaneous.我知道我只是要你见见我的朋友…Itold youIwasworking.你见过夏洛特了Iknow,butIjustwantedmyfriendstomeetyou...但…well,Charlotte,youve met,她是米兰达-but...-Hi.ThisisMiranda,莎曼珊绰号福克丝布朗-hearts;-你好-你好andSamantha,a.k.a.FoxyBrown.我想让她们参观一下房子-Hello.-Hello.hearts;我说我在工作就是在工作好吗?AndIwantedthemtoseethehouse.抱歉我真的很忙WhenIsayIamworking,Imworking,okay请留下来好好参观我的公寓Imsorry,guys.Imvery,verybusy.hearts;hearts;我们改天再聊抱歉Butplease dostay.Enjoytheapartment.抱歉我以为…Wellmeetoneday,allrightSorry.-他在工作-没关系Imsorry,I...Ithought...你们要参观公寓吗?-Hesworking.-Itsfine.hearts;hearts;已经很晚了Oh,doyouguys stillwanttoseetheapartment我得回布鲁克林Oh,itslate.不然史蒂夫会担心IshouldgetbacktoBrooklyn下次再说beforeStevethinksIvedefected.福克丝要把假发脱掉了Anothertime.你要跟我一起搭计程车网上城区吗?Foxysreadytohangupherwig.不…DoyouwanttocomeshareacabwithmeUptown我要留在这里Um...no,no,Ithink...好吧IthinkImgonna stay.-晚安-好好睡-Okay.-Okay!再见-Goodnight,honey.-Sleeptight.再见Bye.我很高兴能够回家来Bye!真的吗?Iamsoglad tobehome.我爱你喜欢我的朋友Youare我爱你做的新墙Ilove youforlovingmyfriends.还有起司蛋糕甜酥卷AndIloveyoufornewwalls.如果你因为那样爱我…Andcheesecake,cannoli.现在会发生什么事呢?Well,ifyou lovemeforthatstuff...我接好了你的数位用户网线Whatsgonnahappennow史蒂夫IputinyourDSLline.(简易水管维修工具书)Steve.虽然史蒂夫满足了米兰达她还是需索不断(名人录影带丑闻)Andalthough StevehadsatisfiedMiranda,shestillwantedmore.“莎曼珊琼斯你是最性感的女人”“我可以整晚跟你做爰莎曼珊琼斯”SamanthaJones,youareonehotpieceofass.hearts;hearts;莎曼珊的激录影带…Icould fuckyouallnightlong,SamanthaJones.heartshearts;让米兰达对八卦消息敬而远之…Samanthashottape...至少她暂时不敢再看了cooledMirandasloveofgossip forgood...我努力地想要释怀oratleastfornow.却怎么都忘不了俄国佬对我朋友的冷淡态度AndtryasImight,hearts;hearts;我得跟你谈一谈Icould notforgettheRussiansicytreatmentofmyfriends.我知道你很忙但她们是我的…Ineedtotalktoyou.有事…Uh,I knowthatyourebusy,butthoseweremy...你还好吧?Issomething...我没事Areyouokay不你一定有事Yeah,Imfine.你的作品…怎么了吗?No,you arenotfine.快告诉我Didsomethinghappenwiththe,um...thepiece如果它不够好呢?Comeon,talktome.六年来这些作品Whatifitsnotenough,huh一定可以的AllthesepiecesSixyears.真的我不了解艺术但是...Itsgoingtobeenough.你才华洋溢Itstrue,Idontknowanythingaboutthepiece,but...“全世界的人都屏息以待”Youarebrilliant她只是个保守的臭女人Theworldiswaitingwithbreaththatisbaited.现在好多了Oh,shesjustanuptightbitch.刚刚你有点可怕Well,thatsbetter.告诉我出了什么问题Youwerea littlescary.或许我不了解但...Sotalktome.Whatstheproblem我会听你说Imaynotunderstand,but...嗯…butIlllisten.昨天我抬头一看…Well...觉得整个作品太丑了yesterday,Ilookedup,and...既平凡无趣又孩子气…theentirethinglooked soutterlystupid,有时候一晚上的时间不足以andflat,andneedless,andchildish...sometimestheresnotenoughtimeinanightforboth让恋人沟通两个人的世界yourworlds....notatallwhatI hadhoped.那个专栏很棒主题是男女关系跟性-TheTimes-TheNewYorkStar.非常聪明有趣Itsaverygood columnaboutwomen,men,and sex.我知道Verysmart,andveryfunny.你才不知道你在敷衍Imsure.-我能借一下你的报纸吗?-不你在...Yourenotsure,youaresnide.我要念给他们听-MayIborrow yournewspaper-No,no...whatareyou...我相信人们喜欢体位-Oh.-Letemlisten.应该是年的事了”69hearts;hearts;Itsmybeliefthatthelast timeanyoneactuallyenjoyed1969我觉得它很有趣the69positionwasin
1969.那还不是我最满意的作品Ithinkitsfunny.在上城区夏洛特一点都不怕冷Thatwasntone ofmysmartest.她对狗狗的爱温暧了她的心And furtherUptown,Charlottedidntmind thecold.那只小狗好可爱Shehadanewpuppylovetokeepherwarm.-谢谢-它叫什么名字?Thatisthemostpreciouslittlething.伊丽莎白泰勒-Thankyou!-Whatshername那是第四个停下脚步尖叫的人ElizabethTaylor.-Oh!我发誓我们在男同志区的街角Thatisthefourthpersontostopand gush.那只小狗竟比我更引人注意Iswear,thatdogsgettingcruisedmorethanme.它喜欢别人注意它Wereonthecornerofgayandgay.你看它昂首阔步Shelovestheattention,doesntshe-你看到了吗?-对它真的很活泼Lookhowsheprancesalong.它以前是比赛狗-Doyouseeherprancing-Yes,shesveryprancey.它参加过西敏寺犬展Shewasa showdog,youknow.-它赢过任何比赛吗?-没有SheevencompetedatWestminster.但它的前主人不是很支持它-Did sheeverwinanything-Well,no.我想它想念比赛ButIthinkthatwasonlybecauseherlast ownerwasntverysupportive.看到它的样子了吗Ithinkshemissesthecompetitions.它是只惹人注意的臭狗Seehowshesshowingoff好可爱的狗Shesa freakinattentionwhore.谢谢Cutedog.我考虑让它重新参加比赛Thankyou!有了我的爱跟鼓励它会赢的Imthinkingofreenteringher.•你觉得呢?•放手去做吧Ithinkwithmylove,andalittleencouragement,shecouldactuallywin.没有人能够绑住宝贝-Whatdoyouthink-Whatthehell,doit.“热舞十七”天啊Nobodyputsbabyinthecorner.在布鲁克林…DirtyDancing!Hello有人像泄了气的皮球And overinBrooklyn...你的脸好冰someone wasnotfeelingsoprancey.我穿高跟鞋从地铁站走回来Oh,man,yourfaceisfreezing.Ihadtowalkallthewayfromthesubwayintheseheels.我的脚快痛死了你为什么不带双球鞋去上班?Myfeetarekillingme.住口你可以逼我搬离曼哈顿Whydontyoujustcarryemandwearsneakerslikeeveryone else但你不能逼我抛弃高跟鞋Stop!YoucantakemeoutofManhattan,那么就别再抱怨了butyoucanttakemeoutofmyshoes.没错我还有更严重的事要抱怨Thenstop complainingaboutthem.你装了我的数位用户网线吗?Youreright,Ihavemuchbiggerthingstocomplainabout.我装好石膏板了Did yougetachancetoinstallmyDSLline today史蒂夫没有网络我活不下去IwasputtingupsheetrockinBradysroom.没有墙你的孩子能活吗?Steve,youknowIcantlivewithoutinternetaccess.这应该能让你打起精神来Doyouwantyourkidtolivewithoutwalls快马邮递弄对了我们的住址Here,thisoughttocheeryouup.我们能收到邮件了?Theponyexpressfinallygotour addressright.我的“八卦热闻”送来了Wehavemail我终于能跟现实世界接触了MyTattleTale came!我不敢相信你会看那种东西Finally,aconnectiontotherealworld.我喜欢它这是我的习惯别啰嗦Icantbelievethatyoureadthatcrap.梅格跟布莱迪…Iloveit,itsmything.Letitgo.我在看杂志别吵我Oh!Magda andBradyare...hearts;hearts;Imreadingthis.Younolonger exist.那晚在唯一存在的餐厅里…是莎曼珊的男朋友史密斯Thatnight,overattheonlyrestaurantthatseemedtoexist...在哪里?Oh.TheresSamanthasboyfriend,Smith.-在包厢我们过去打招呼-我好紧张Where他在葛斯范桑的电影里帅到简直不行-Startable.Letssayhello.-Imnervous.他能脱下奥兹沃尔德伯腾金盏花型的上衣吗?Hessounbelievably hotinthatGusVanSantmovie.抱歉打扰你们ButcanhepulloffafuchsiaOzwaldBoatengshirt我们见过面我们是莎曼珊的朋友Hi.Sorrytointerrupt.我听说她是个好女人Wevemetbefore.WerefriendsofSamanthas...天啊Ihearshesawonderfulwoman.这个造型非常适合你Oh,myGod.很有星船合唱团的味道Thatsagoodlookforyou.我决定忘记掉发的事情ItsveryJeffersonStarship.帮自己想一些新造型Well,Idecidedtoturnalittlehairloss你的假发都很好看intoalottahairgain.快过来坐在我旁边Oh,youregettingwiggywithit.我们不想打扰你…Comeon,jaminhererightnext tome.你在开玩笑吗?Oh,wedontwanttodisturbyou...莎曼珊的朋友就是我的朋友Areyoukidding他是我的男朋友马可斯Any friendofSamanthas.马可斯这是史密斯杰洛德ThisismyboyfriendMarcus.你在喝什么?看起来不错Marcus,SmithJerrod.史密斯杰洛德Oh,whatareyoudrinkingItlooksyummy.天啊SmithJerrod!你好吗?Allright!我女朋友爱死你了How yadoin,boss.我要拍张照片Dude,mygirllovesyou.你得连我的朋友一起拍Yougottaletmegetapicture.没问题Onlyifyougetmyfriendshere.听说亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基要在巴黎办个展Allright.别相信那些传言IheardthatAleksandrPetrovskyishavingasoloshow inParis.这真的很让人激动快告诉我Dontbelieve everythingyouhear.你跟我正躺在床上Itsexciting.Tellme aboutyourshow.我为什么要谈工作?Whywould Iwanttotalkaboutmywork因为我想知道whenIhaveyouinbedwithme因为这对你来说非常重要BecauseIwanttoknowaboutit.这对我来说才是最重要的Becauseitsimportanttoyou.Thisiswhatsimportanttome.我是认真的快点我也非常认真Imserious.Come on.我…SoamI.Veryserious.我想多多了解你的工作Ijust...要不是在餐厅里遇到熟人Iwanttoknowmore aboutwhatyoudo.我更情愿将工作跟私生活分开IffornootherreasonthanIwouldliketoavoid havingthisfaceinrestaurants.那些艺术讨论太无聊了Iprefertokeepmyworkand myprivatelifeseparate.我不那么认为Allthisarttalk,itssofuckingboring.那么你是个例外Itwouldntbetome.如果你不告诉我国家艺廊的事Thenyouaretheexceptiontotherule.我得去做事了Well,then,ifyourenotgoingtotellmeabouttheGalerieNationale deBlablabla,别走thenIneedtogetseriousaboutmybusyday.我有很多...Oh,dontgo.-很多…-行程Ihavemany,many...你太像纽约客了-manyappoint...-Oh,schedule!留在这里什么事都不做YouresoNewYork.惹点麻烦随性一点Stayhere.Donothing.但我得跟很多人谈事情Getintrouble.Bespontaneous.外面太冷了留下来这里很温暖ButImmeetingpeopleforthings.Itscold outthere.Stayherewhereitswarm.莎曼珊我不知道该怎么告诉你但…八卦热闻杂志登出了史密斯的照片Samantha,Idontknow howtotellyouthis,but...hearts;hearts;米兰达你为什么看那种东西?IwasreadingmyTattleTale,and theresapictureofSmith...这是我的习惯别啰嗦Miranda!Whatintheworld areyoudoingreadingsomethinglikethat史密斯常上那本杂志Iloveit,itsmything.Letitgo.hearts;hearts;对但这次…他是男同志Oh,Smithisalwaysinthatrag.“男孩之夜”Yeah,butthistime...hesgay.“史密斯杰洛德勾搭上百老汇舞者马可斯亚登”Boys-s-s nightout.“旁边还有一个身分不明的老男同志”可SmithJerrodcoziesuptoBroadwaydancerMarcusAdant怜的史丹佛andunidentified oldergaygentleman.史密斯不是男同志Hmm,poorStanford.当然不是Smithisnotgay.你是他的障眼法?-Ofcoursenot.-Mmm.我是个戴假发的美女Sothismakesyouhisbeard.你不生气吗?Imabeardinawig.拜托得过癌症的人Yourenotupset才不会在乎那种小事而且男同志的传言-传开那表示他真的是大Oh,please,afterthebigC,youdontsweatthesmallstuff.明星Andbesides,oncethegayrumorsstart,喂itmeansyourereallyastar.亲爱的是我Hello凯莉你在哪里?Hi,sweetie,itsme.Carrie,whereareyou坏消息我没办法过去了你不能来?你没事吧?Oh,badnews,IdontthinkImgonna makeit.我没事我只是…YoucantcomeAreyouokay我跟俄国佬在市区外面真的好冷No,Imfine.Imjust,youknow,hearts;hearts;ImjustallthewaydowntownwiththeRussian anditsverycold她还在市区外面很冷out.我们很久没见到你了…Shesstill downtownanditstoocold.。