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欲望城市(性爰专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问)“完美情人”hearts;hearts;单身女郎大部分的时间都在寻找理想的另一半A singlegal spendsmost ofher life(凯莉布雷萧小姐)searching for the perfectmail.(亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基)(你愿意去散个步吗?佩特洛夫斯基上)突然间完美情人出现亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基是著名的艺术家And out of theblue,it arrives.我正在跟他秘密交往Aleksandr Petrovskywas arather famousartist都已经过了三个星期我以为你死了with whomId hadone ratherinfamous date.你的拒绝让我痛不欲生Its beenthree wholeweeks,I thought you diedor something.你怎么能让我独自在街头流浪?I diddie,from rejection.我还是觉得心痛How couldyou haveleft meon thestreet allalone你是个大人你能克服的It stillhurts.你怎么知道呢?Oh,youll getover it,youre abig boy.我在荷兰工作And wheredid you get thisinformation荷兰?我的天啊I wasin Hollandfor work.你去过那里吗?Oh,Holland,listen to you.你是说〃木鞋王国〃吗?Been there没有Uh,to theland of the woodenshoes我帮你准备了一份小礼物No,no,no,no.Mm-mm.坐下吧I broughtyou a little present.我把电梯让给罗伯特了我们下周要把我的东西搬过来I gaveRobert custodyof the elevator.你把电梯让给他?What Weremoving mystuff inhere nextweek我没把布莱迪送他算你运气好and yougave himthe elevator我在楼梯遇到他You*re luckyI didntgive himBrady.情况有多糟糕?I bumpedinto himon the stairs.抱着我How badwas it那么糟糕?Hug me.我们不能用电梯?Oh,its thatbad,huh早上八点到晚上十点不行So,we cantever usetheelevator-布莱迪还得坐婴儿车-我知道Not between8:00a.m.and10:00p.m.为什么我会被报应?-We have a babyand astroller!-I know!不然就没有天理了Why,why,why didI have to shitwhere Ieat我可不那么认为史蒂夫Look,he*s justupset,itll blowover.这个男人疯狂地爱上我现在…I dont think so,Steve.他说我跟他说过“没有男人能插得这么深”The manis crazyin lovewith meand nowhe*s actingout...-什么?•没事Talking abouthow Isaid nomans everbeen inme thatdeep.没事-What-Nothing.星期三吃过晚餐后Nothing,fm fine.Wednesday night,after dinner,我搭直达电梯到了爱的小屋(谢谢)I tookthe expresselevator toLovaville.你的俄文说得很好Spasiba.(谢谢)Oh,you speakRussian very well.你只会说那一句?Spasiba.(你好)Is that the onlyword you know没错你只会说那一句Zdrastvuyte.那边是工作室这边是住家Yes,that is the onlyword you know.整层楼都是你的?There is my studioand hereismyhouse.刚开始不是You havethe entirefloor我慢慢买下它Not atfirst,hearts;hearts;(谢谢)but overthe years...(你好)Spasiba.这里以前是成衣厂Zdrastvuyte.年代是奴隶工厂This usedto besome kindof sewingfactory20那个故事很动人ror sweatshopin the1930s.如果你喜欢天窗的话这里真的很不错Thats alovely story.对Hmm,very nice.If you like thatwhole window-sky thing.早上的光线很好Yes.书房厨房Its lovelylight in the morning.hearts;hearts;你要吃点水果还是喝马丁尼?Study andkitchen...你为什么不带我参观楼上?Would youlike somefruit or a martinior something我的俄文很烂Why don*tyoushow meupstairs但我找到了个很好的俄国青人My Russianmay havebeen shaky,hearts;Gheartsl(我正在做早餐)but Idiscovered Ispoke loververywell.结果我在爱的小屋找到了温暖的床跟早餐早安他在…Turns out,Id founda sweet bed andbreakfast inLovaville.早安快过来坐下Good morning.Um,where...天亮后一切都变得不一样Morning.Come,come,sit.你要喝点咖啡吗?In thelight ofday,everything lookedcompletely different.哪一种?Would youlike somecoffee一般的就可以了What kind只有普通人才会喝一般咖啡Um...Regular.你不是普通人Regular coffeeis forregular people.我希望没有打扰你们You arenot regular.为什么?Oh,I hopeIm...I amnot in the way.他们是薇丽特佩妲玛What,why李大伙们…Oh,no,no.Its Violette,Padma,她是凯莉Lee.Hey,everybody...他们是我的员工没有他们我得流落街头This isCarrie.靠艺术吃饭Thats mystaff.Without them,Id besitting说到吃饭…Til doart forfood.女士的煎饼Speaking offood...Pancakes for the lady.希望你饿了你不吃吗?I hope youre hungry.我吃过了Arent you gonna eat还记得我要去阿姆斯特丹吗?No,Tm done.对Im offto Amsterdam,remember或许离开前我可以再吃一小口Oh,yeah,right.我在吃煎饼Maybe before I leave,Til haveone morelittle bite.“IHOP“佩特洛夫斯基国际学院”There I was,having pancakesat IHOP.他们在忙着办公The InternationalHouse OfPetrovsky.完全不在意And theyjust wenton abouttheir business,亲爰的他们什么事都看过了totally unfazed.你一定爱死他了Oh,honey,theyve seenit all.做煎饼给女人吃?You gottagive itto him.那是经典老招Making pancakesfor pussy.什么?Thats aclassy touch.你以为你是第一个吃到他做煎饼的女人?What不你说得对You dontthink yourethe firstbabe hebattered-up for整件事是经过精心安排的No,no,no,youre right.他很清楚自己在做什么Youre right,the wholething wasso choreographed.No.我觉得很不错我想念行动派的男人No,he knewexactly whathe wasdoing.史密斯不会行动?Well,it soundsgood tome,I missa manwith the moves.他有他们通常是我采取行动So,Smith,no moves但他有他们No,he has them.Most of them Ivegiven tohim.要听真话吗?But hehasthem.我有点嫉妒你Truth time嫉妒什么?我的〃丰盛〃早餐?Im a little jealous.你找到一个强大的男人Of whatMy grandslam breakfast他会发动攻击把你拖上床You gotyourself a man,a realpower player.;用他的方法不用问你hearts;hearts;想要啥什么Someone whotakes chargedrags you to thebed,只是不断地跟你做爱has hisway with you,doesn*t have to askwhat you want,hearts;hearts;重点不是我对吧?and fucks you andfucksyou.没错Were nottalking aboutme anymore,are we史密斯很性感但他太嫩了No.I mean,他快岁了Smith,he*s hot,but hesa baby.30有时候我不知道该帮他口交还是帮他拍背Hes almost
30.hearts;hearts;我需要成年男子Still,I swear,sometimes I dont knowwhether toblow him or burphim.■感觉如何?■煎饼吗?I needa grown-up.好吃极了吃太多还是不够-So,uh,how werethey-The pancakes不我是说他的表现Delicious,exactly whatI wanted...I couldnt get enough.太棒了再多还是不够No,I wasreferring to themoves.你真是幸运Oh,delicious,exactly whatI wanted.,.1couldntgetenough.你觉得有多少女人在那里吃过煎饼?Good foryou.那重要吗?So,how many pancakes do you thinkthat kitchenhas seen在冰冷残酷的现实中Does itmatter我知道那不重要…In thecold,harsh realityof daylight,但对一个女人来说I knewit didntmatter...刚跟喜欢的人上床后But in the colder,harsher realityof awoman hearts;那真的很重要hearts;who justslept withsomeone shelikes,网站搜寻到许多it did.Google亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基的作品Google.com showedmany,many listings有个网页登载了他的众多女人on theart ofAleksandr Petrovsky...(亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基的众多女人)And oneon hismany,many women.我的天根据某些科学家的说法Oh,my God.女人发生性关系后According tocertain scientists,她的身体会制造一种化学物质whenever awoman hassexhearts;hearts;让她在情感上依赖那个男人her bodyproduces achemical这种化学物质也制造出which causesher toemotionally attach.hearts;hearts;一连串可怕问题This chemicalmay alsoaccount在一夜风流之后fortheseries ofterrifying questionsthatinvoluntarily popinto ourminds它们会突然闯入我们心中像是“他喜欢我吗?〃after justone casualtryst.“他会再打电话来吗?Questions like...Does helike me”hearts;hearts;最经典的问题是“这1段恋情会有什么结果?”Will hecall again,说到男人…And theclassic...Where isthis allgoing即使我们想一笑置之When it comes tomen...在疑惑中我们又该如何放手?Even whenwe try to keepit light...我收到少女杂志的派对邀请函How dowe windup in the darkhearts;hearts;位不到岁的顶尖男士”我是其中之一Hey!I gotthis inviteto aparty...Teen Posseis throwing.“3030你要去吗?Top30under30,fm oneof them.少女杂志跟我?You wannagohearts;hearts;绝对不行Teen Posseand me经纪人跟宣传都要我去No andno.看看这封邀请函告诉我它有多烂Well,my agentand mymanager reallywant meto go.派对是不怎么样Will youat leastlook atthe inviteand tellme howlame itis但派对主人是理查莱特The partymay havebeen allwrong,什么?很烂吗?but it was beinghosted byRichard Wright.一点都不烂What,lame-ass理查莱特是饭店大亨No,not solame-ass.他真的・・・很厉害Richard Wrightis abig namein thehotel business.他拥有莎曼珊想念的特质He bringsa certain...something.你该去的And itwas exactlythe certainsomething thatSamantha wasmissing.事实上我也会去You shouldgo.管他的In fact,Til gowithyou.酷啊What thehell.两个月内我不能再尝试怀孕了…Cool.・你说过了•我想…And Im not reallyallowed totry andget pregnantagain for another twomonths...我有时间当义工-So yousaid...-And I thought,当视障人士的指挥手并不轻松I haveall thistime onmy handsto volunteer.我们建议所有义工Okay,working asa guidefor avisually-impaired personis aserious undertaking.跟朋友到公共场合比如公园或者公寓We suggestall ourpotential volunteershearts;hearts;戴上眼罩请他们指引你go toa publicplace like a parkoradepartment storewith afriend,-戴上眼罩?-对无论觉得有多不舒服and lethimorher leadyou aroundblindfolded.别把它拿下来-Blindfolded-Yeah,try notto takethe blindfoldoff那样子你会真正开始了解盲人的感受no matterhow uncomfortableyou feel,好吧再见and youllbegin to get asense ofwhat itslike notto be able torely onyour sight.这段恋情会有什么结果?Okay.Bye.你不希望它有结果I mean,where canthis possiblygo那是在我跟他上床之前I thoughtyou didntwant itto goanywhere.hearts;hearts;我现在有点不确定了Well,that wasbeforeIslept with him.-太有趣了-不太可笑了Now,Tm notso sure.根据我新朋友网站…-Interesting.-No,ridiculous.Google你他了?And accordingto mynew bestfriend,Google.com...Google从年到上星期三他跟纽约所有女人约过会You Googledhim1977谁知道他为The manhas datedevery womanin NewYork from1977until,well,until lastWednesday.世界上其他女人做了多少次煎饼?And whoknows howmanypancakes我的天听我说hes makingfor otherridiculous womenaround theworld我只跟他上过一次床Oh,my God,listen tome.我们来当盲人吧And Iveonly sleptwith himonce.我一戴上眼罩Okay,lets getblind.就不能拿掉你得指引我So,once Iput thisover myeyes,我了解I canttake itoff.I needyoutoguide me.这真的好丢脸Im there.不有情人才是丢脸This is embarrassing.你是想帮助别人No,no,no.Thinking you can takea loverisembarrassing.我的头发还好吧?This ishelping people.是欧洲的编码是他打来的Hows myhair■我该接电话吗-好Oh!Thafs aEuropean code,its him!hearts;hearts;・你好・凯莉我是亚力Should Ianswer itOkay.阿姆斯特丹那边还好吧?-Hello Carrie,its Aleks.Hi!Hows Amsterdam这里很有荷兰风情・・・什么?It*s veryDutch...我听不到What Oh...我得找到信号好一点的地方…I canthear you.hearts;hearts;hearts;Oh,youknowwhat,I needbetter我要到那里去别走开reception...对不起Fm gonnago rightover there.Dont goaway.Okay.明天晚上?Oop,Tm sorry!一九点好吗?•好Tomorrow night什么?At nine,yes Yes!我听不清楚…What信号太差了The reception...is bad...hearts;hearts;hearts;•你明天有空吗?・我有空Bad reception,yes.抱歉我听不到Tomorrow,are youfree-Yes,Im free.我有空Sorry,I cantquite hearyou.好吧明天九点Im free!我一定会去All rightthen.Tomorrow/bout nine.喂Yes,I willbe there!甜心Hello Huh...你要试擦一下吗?Sweetie■需要我帮忙吗?■不了谢谢Would youlike tosample Lumiaire我想帮助盲人-Do you need someassistance-Oh.No,thank you.我跟我朋友走散了Im tryingto helpthe blind.但我相信她会找到我I justgot separatedfrom myfriend,要试一下吗?but Imsure shellfind me.牛奶巧克力Lets sitdown.或纯巧克力?Milk chocolate.我就放在口袋里Or perhapsyoulikedark里面没有放捕鼠器吧?Ive gotit righthere.不我为什么要那么做?You donthaveamouse trapin theredoyou我太傻了No...Why wouldI动画片里他们经常用这招来整人…I wasbeing silly.You know,就是这些inthecartoons,when theyput theirhands inthe things...淡巧克力还是黑巧克力?Et voila.一小块就行Light ordark寻求适合香水的困难度A littlepiece.仅次于寻找完美情人Second onlyto thesearch forthe perfectmale...我适合薄荷麝香味吗?isthesearch forthe perfectfragrance.姐妹们我有情人了Am Ipeppermint muskhearts;hearts;hearts;Ladies,Im takinga lova.对情人亚力山大佩特洛夫斯基Yes...等一下那个老头?A lova.Aleksandr Petrovsky.你说什么?Wait,the oldguy我的情人一点都不老I begyour pardon.他世故聪明又性感My lovais not old.He isworldly andwise andvery sexy.不太恶心了LumiaireEw!No.Bad,bad...对不起在黑暗中Oh!Sorry...Excuse me.夏洛特意识到她已经迷失了方向And there,inthe dark,不论是在巴尼百货或是在人生中Charlotte realizedshe hadno ideawhere shewas going有时即使你不确定自己的方向in Barneys...or inlife.你还是可以找到幸福之路But sometimes,even ifyouYenot sureof yourdirection,他们把这些放在那边…you canfind yourway tosomething wonderful.我发誓我找了好几次You know,they hadthese overthere...心想“真希望她能找到我I swear,I lookedand looked.我明天要跟他见面很棒吧?And thenIthought,best ifshe findsme.我们还是到前面去吧Im meetinghim tomorrow.Cute,huh我不喜欢插队Lets justgo tothe frontoftheline likeI suggested.I dont like pushingin frontof people.成熟一点吧史密斯杰洛德…Oh,grow up.我们在宾客名单上Smith Jerrod...天啊真的是太棒了Were onthe list.我喜欢你的发型Oh,my God,awesome.我马上帮你查Love yourhair.你是哪位?Let mejust checkyou off.莎曼珊琼斯你真的是太亮眼了And youareSamantha Jones.你要让他们先你怎么回事?Arent youa sightfor soreeyes.他是跟我一起来的You gonnalet themin first,man Whafsup withthat抱歉理查莱特Hes with me.史密斯杰洛德Im sorry,Richard Wright.我们去喝一杯吧Smith Jerrod.你当保姆多久了?Lets getsome drinks,shall we你是少女杂志派对主办人So,how longyou beenbabysittinghearts;hearts;饭店得保持曝光率Said theman hostingthe TeenPosse party.我得奉承那些Dont rubit in.Hotels have to stayhip,喜欢流行的少女so I haveto bend overbackwards你看起来很不错and tonguethe taintsof thesetrendy littlepissants.因为我正看着你美女Well,you lookgood.再给我两杯加冰威士忌Thats becauseIm lookingat you,gorgeous.怎么了?Two morescotch rocks.你要来杯威士忌吗?Whats up不我加入了嗜酒者互诫协会Can Iget youa scotch现在的小鬼No thanks,man,Fm inAA.你们两个怎么认识的?You kidstoday.我们交往过So,how doyou twoknow each other然后我搞砸了We usedto goout.失去了最珍贵的东西And thenI fuckedit uproyally我的天史密斯…and lostthe bestthing Iever had.快点来保利把饼干从鼻子喷出来Oh my God,Smith...快来真的很好笑You haveto come,Paulie issnotting pretzelsout hisnose.快一点保利再来一次You haveto come,its fuckinghilarious.-保利-保利把饼干从鼻子喷出来Come on,come on!Paulie,do itagain!去你的Paulie!-Paulie issnotting pretzelsout hisnose.好了这是最后一批Fuck you.你的东西还真多Okay.This isthe lastload.先把电视搬上去For aguy withno stuff,you gotstuff.搞什么?Let*s getthe TVfirst.What thefuck刚刚不是这样的我的天啊That wasn*tlike that whenwe movedit inhere.-罗伯特・什么?Oh,myGod.不你真的那么想?-Robert!-What拜托No,you think他发疯了箱子上有你的名字Um,hello!他住在这栋公寓里那不像他的作风Hes mad,your nameis onthe boxes,hearts;hearts;-he livesinthebuilding.-Nah,一定是我撞到它了that doesntseem likehim.史蒂夫他疯狂地爱上我I mustvebumped itor something.你不知道他有多生气Steve,hes crazyin lovewith me.好吧这真的太过分了You didntsee howangry hewas onthestairs.我受不了了Okay,this isbullshit.你打算怎么办?Im notgonna livelike this.我得去做个了断What are yougonnado对他仁慈一点他还爱我Im gonnatake careof things.史蒂夫Be kind.He*s stillin lovewith me.我想谈谈米兰达的事Steve怎么了?Look,I need to talkto youabout thiswhole Mirandathing.我马上回来宝贝What aboutit结果佩特洛夫斯基不是唯一的风流浪子PH beright back,baby.我们很抱歉Turns out,Petrovsky wasntthe onlyone with an internationalhouse.她很抱歉我也很抱歉We*re sorry.我们很抱歉Shes sorry,Tm sorry.谢谢Were sorry.发生了什么事?I appreciatethat.就这么说吧What happened他不会再来烦我们了Let*s justput itthis way.f他非常生气吗?He wontbebothering usagain.提到罗伯特的事Was hevery upset史蒂夫认为不说出实情对米兰达比较好When itcame toRobert,莎曼珊Steve thoughtitwaskinder toleave Mirandainthedark.你要去哪里?宝贝Samantha理查想带我参观刚刚整修过的套房Hey,where yougoing,babehearts;酷啊我能去吗?Richard wanted to showme oneof hisremodeled suites.不行Cool,can Icome史密斯你不能来No.这真的很好玩No,Smith,youcan*tcome.但我们会有什么结局?Look,this wasfun.美女But whereis itgoingGorgeous你去跟你的朋友玩我要跟我的朋友玩莎曼珊You go play withyour friendsand Illgoplaywith mine.两年前我雄霸一方Samantha.现在我要帮一堆笨蛋Two yearsago,I wason topofthefucking world.办啤酒派对推销啤酒Now Imhosting abullshit beerbash这是世界级的饭店forabunch ofpinheads withsix-pack abs.该死This isa worldclass hotel!我也遇过这样的低潮Fuck it!理查或许有试过但莎曼珊从未试过这样的低潮Ive beendown thislow before.我只想确定你能平安回家我不知道我是怎么了Richard mayhave,but Samanthahadnt.我恨我自己这样对你I justwanted tomake sureyou gothome safe.没关系Idon*t knowwhafs wrongwithme.I hatemyself fordoing thisto you...来吧Ifs okay.我送你回家Come on.即使是在黑暗中史密斯还是保护着莎曼珊Lets getyou outof here.这是她第一次感觉到他的存在我得到工作室工作Even inthedark,Smith couldstill seeSamantha.And forthe veryfirst time,she sawhim.你可以留下来过夜好吗?I havesome workto doin my studio.;那时我了解到You are welcome tostay okay在爰的小屋里我一点都不自在It wasat thatmoment Irealized,我不是网站里的女人I wasntreally comfortablein Loverville.我只是来跟你道谢我要走了Google好吧明天我再打电话给你Imnotthat kindof Google.这一切真的很棒I justwantedtosay thank you,Tm gonnago.hearts;hearts;Okay,then,Ill callyou tomorrow,alright但我想我不适合This hasbeen reallylovely,我不明白but Idon*tthinkIm cutout forit.煎饼跟其他女人…I dontunderstand.我真的无法接受The pancakes,and theother ladies...我常吃煎饼但绝对没有别的女人Ifs justnot forme.我的电话簿上的确有几个紧急备用人选…There arepancakes,but noother ladies.但现在我眼中只有你hearts;hearts;Well,Ihavea bookwithafew emergencytelephone numbers...这不是速食爱情Yes,but nowI justsee you.这…This isnot abouta quickbang.我喜欢你This,urn...为什么是我?I justlike you.你做的早餐很好吃Why me这个是什么?You makea goodbreakfastSo,what*s allthis嗯…现在还未可以说Oh.Its toosoon totell.■他很性感-非常性感昨天我差点当着小孩子的面He issexy.-Very.跟他在公园做爱Yesterday,I almostdid itwithhimon apark benchhearts;hearts;你为什么不那么做?in frontof children.我还有廉耻心What stoppedyou・那个啊■而且我还没有准备好Common decency.我需要除掉比基尼线以下的体毛-Oh,that.-Well,that andthe factthat Imnot lovaready.快去脱毛吧I needalittlebikini waxage.别跟难搞的男人玩欲擒故纵的游戏Well,then snapto it.或许小黄瓜罗勒味不错Dont playhard toget withamanwhos hardtoget.你想闻起来跟沙拉一样?Maybe cucumber-basil•我没办法决定•你说他不老是什么意思?Why wouldyouwantto smelllikeasalad夏洛特把他的照片发给我了他应该有岁-I cantdecide whatI am.-What doyou meannotold60他才出头完美的情人年纪Charlotte emailedme hisphoto,Hello,
60.50不错的年龄见多识广而且性技巧出色He isin hislova-perfect early50*s.hearts;hearts;hearts;你说话竟然会押韵你怎么!有他的照片?Thats agood age.They vebeen aroundthe blockand knowhow touse theircock.从网站找到的Oh,you rhymenow.And wheredid youget hispictureGoogle我要米兰达看看你的新男友-I googledhim.-Oh.不是男朋友他是情人I wantedMiranda to see yourpotential newboyfriend.你还要这样称呼他多久?Not boyfriend...lova.嫉妒我有情人吗?How longare yougonna keepsaying itlikethat或许他不只是你的情人Uncomfortable withmy takinga lova天啊Maybe hecould bemore thana lova.我们只会窝在爱的小屋里Oh,Jesus.我觉得应该会有别的发展Ah...No,the onlyplace this is goingis Lovaville.听着有一半的时间里我根本不了解他Well,I couldsee itgoing somewhere.我们没什么共同点他经常往来欧洲..・Oh,please.Listen,half thetime,I canteven understandhim.那是件好事We havenothing incommon,hes in and outof Europe...亲爱的你没在听我说话她只想要他That couldbe good!进出她的身体Honey,youre notlistening.She onlywants him对但我不希望说得那么露骨tobein andoutofher.石榴广蕾香味呢?Yes,but ina muchless obvious-sounding way.你适合更优雅的香味How aboutpomegranate-patchouli暗示我有精神病No,youneedsomething classic.Clean.你呢?找到你要的香水了吗?With justa hintof neurosis.我不知道How aboutyou Areyou findinganything我在猜史蒂夫喜欢哪一种香水I dontknow.买男人味送他Im tryingto figureout whatSteve mightlike.hearts;hearts;史蒂夫不擦“男人味〃Just getsome Old Spice andcall ita day.他不擦香水还是很香Steve doesnot wearOldSpice.(米兰达跟史蒂夫坐在树下)He wearsnothing andhe smellsgreat.(他们接吻先坠入了爰河)Miranda and Steve Sittinginatree应该是先生了孩子K-I-S-S-I-N-G,First comeslove...太棒了Well,actually,first comesbaby.我整天闻起来就像…Great.苹果跟稻草Now Ihavetospend therest ofthe daysmelling like...大混蛋Apples andhay.hearts;hearts;我们走吧Oh,you bastard.帮你的新情人买到礼物了吗?Okay,lets go.我想他已经很喜欢我的味道了hearts;hearts;Arent yougoing toget somethingfor yournew lova我们有多么幸运呢?I suspecthe alreadylikes theway Ismell.非常幸运Hey.How luckyarewe适合米兰达跟史蒂夫的味道Very.就叫做完美If MirandaandStevehad afragrance,1适合米兰达史蒂夫跟前男友it wouldbe calledPerfection/兼邻居罗伯特的香味If Miranda,Steve andRobert,就叫做毫不完美her exand neighbor,had afragrance...1事实上它应该叫做可怕至极Less ThanPerfection,才子佳人来了1In fact,Awful,Uncomfortable andTerrible.r你好吗?Well,if itisn tthe happycouple.祝你们有愉快的一天How areyou today医生说我和哈利还得再等至少两个月Yall havea niceday.才能再试着怀孕So thedoctor saidthat Harry and Ihavetowait atleast twomonths我想回去上班但真的那么做before wecan eventrytoget pregnantagain对新老板太不公平了所以…and Fdlike to go backto work,but thenif Ido getpregnant,我在梦游thats notreally fairtothenew employer,so I...我怎么办到的?Im sleeping and walking,sleepingandwalking.那太无礼了这对我很重要How amI doingthat我知道Thats rude,thisis important tome.你知道它很重要I knowits importantto you,街和街的游民也知道它很重要youknowits importantto you,我们能谈谈别577的事吗?the homelessguy onthe cornerof57th and7th knowsit*simportanttoyou.如果你可说说其他是非我给你块Can weplease talk about somethingelse100不我找到了新方向Fil giveyou$100if you say somethingbitchy aboutsomeone weknow.-我准备展开讲讲-好No,Im tryingto figureout mynext direction你可以说到我的耳朵长茧-and Ineedtotalkaboutit.-Fine.但帮你自己一个忙别说了Talk tillmy earsbleed.往前面看But doyourself afavor andstop fora minute你是说and lookatthelight.不论发生什么事…You meanthe factthat哈利跟我还能拥有彼此?no matterwhat happenswith thebaby...不小夏我是让你看公园那边的风光HarryandI willalways haveeachother什么时候已到了秋天?No,Char,the friggin*light overthere inthe park.就在你口沫横飞的时候When didit becomefall想像你自己是个盲人Somewhere betweenyour ovariesand myboredom.看不到今天的好天气Imagine beingblind andnot beingable还有什么比这更糟糕的事?toseea beautifulday liketoday.石洗牛仔裤配紧身外套Can youthink ofanything worse或许我不该只想到自己Stone washedjeans witha matchingjacket.Maybe Ishould stopthinking somuch aboutmyself开始做义工帮助盲人那真的是太棒了and volunteerfortheblind orsomething.非常有甘迺迪夫人的味道That wouldbeanice thingto do.好吧我要开始了-Very Jackie0,-Whoo...我能问你一个问题吗?Okay.Let mebegin.是的它会非常痛Can Iask youa question我不是要问那个Yes,it willhurt alittle.你是俄国人吗?Oh,no,thafs notthe question.hearts;hearts;对Uh,areyouRussianYes.看吧?真的很痛对・・・-Ooh.-See Hurtalittle.俄文里的你好该怎么说?Uh,yes,um...(你好)I waswondering,how doyou sayhello inRussian.(你好)Zdrastvuyte.谢谢呢?Zdrastvuyte(谢谢)How doyousaythankyou(谢谢)Spasiba.别客气Spasiba.跟前男友共搭一部电梯Youre welcome.比脱毛还痛苦The onlything moreuncomfortable thana bikiniwax还好米兰达想出办法如何避免跟他碰面is anelevator ridewith anex.不幸的是罗伯特想到了同一个办法Luckily,Miranda hadfigured outa wayto avoidthat.罗伯特嗨Unfortunately,Robert hadalso.好吧我知道我是活该罗伯特?Robert,hi.抱歉Okay,I guessI deservethat.Robert我无意伤害你Pm...fm sorry.史蒂夫跟我重燃爱苗I nevermeant tohurt you,那么我是什么?Steve andI justfell backin love.Oh,and sowhat wasI你用来打发时间的玩物?什么?Your littlehalftime show不是那样的What我从没想到史蒂夫跟我会破镜重圆Not atall.或者我们压根就没开始过I neverthought thatSteve andI wouldget backtogether我希望你能了解or Inever wouldhave startedup withyou.我会试着了解・・・I hopeyou understandthat.我希望你收到我的请款单时也能够了解Well,Til try...请款单?And Ihopeyouunderstand whenyougetmy bill.我的服务请款单Your bill我帮你做了性服务Yeah,my bill...for servicesrendered.罗伯特别这样You know,mystudfee.没关系我了解你的难处Robert,come on...你是个忙碌的职业妇女No,no,no,hey,its cool.不想煮饭就叫中餐外送…youre abusy workingmother.没空出门找性伴侣Too tiredto goout andeat CallHunan Kitchen...hearts;heartshearts;•就找罗伯特•不是那样的Too tiredtogoout andfuckf就是那样外送跟速食性爰-Call Robert,-That snot true.hearts;hearts;你不是速食性伴侣Sure itis,fast food,fast fuck.hearts;hearts;hearts;你说的没错You werenot afast fuck.我做得既好又持久No,youre right,I wasnt.;你就是喜欢那样Iwasslow niceand slow.“罗伯特”“就是那样罗伯特”Just theway youliked it.“天啊罗伯特”Oh,Robert.Oh,yes,ooh!Robert!“没有男人能插得这么深”Oh,God,Robert!你回来做什么?1No manhas everbeen inthis deep!Hey,what areyou doingback。