Sex and the City《欲望都市（1998）》第二季第十一集完整中英文对照剧本

欲望城市（性爱专家凯莉布雷萧）“两性进化论”hearts;hearts;任何事都比不上去看妇产科更叫人难堪There is nothing morehumiliating fora woman你还需要避孕药吗？than avisit to the gynecologist.除非结果显示Do you need moreOrtho-Novum你不需要再服药了Unless itshaving totell yourgynecologist我暂时不想吃that you dont need to beon thepill anymore.■你想怀孕吗？-不Actually,Im goingoff it.不…其实是我有点…-Are youtrying to have ababy-No!太操之过急了我的史蒂夫…No,I...guess Isort ofjumped thegun他是我的前男友going onit in the firstplace,because Steve...我们结束了长达几年的恋情the guythat I went onit for,我不需要每天找个东西来提醒我没有做爰the firstreal relationshipIve hadin years,is overand...hearts;hearts;所以我不用吃药了I dont need adaily reminderthat Im not havingsex.好了我闭r嘴了So...that s the storywith thepill.And,uh...正当米兰达处在谷底时Okay,Tm quietnow.才发现她要面临另一个难堪Just whenMiranda thoughtshed hitrock bottom,你的测试显示一切都很好she discovereda newgeological layerof humiliation.好极了Well,we gotyour testsback andeverything looksfine.Great!只是有件小事Just onesmall thing.我梳妆打扮需要一点东西For onething,I dontwake uplooking like this.我不想整天像个游民一样I actuallyneed stuffto looklikethis.带着那些东西到处跑And it would benice nottohave to那只是儿样小东西carry it around allday withme like a nomad.你也可以把东西留在这里Ifs just a few things.我不想把东西放在这里And you can leave stuff here.你也不用放很多I dontwant to leavestuffhere.你早上也许会需要刮胡子Well,not alot ofstuff,just like...我都在健身房刮You know,if you want toshave inthe morning.hearts;我一时也举不出例子I shave at thegym.好比袜子Okay,then,I dont know.你要我把袜子放在这里？Socks.别管我怎么说你想放什么？You want me to leave sockshere不知道我们别兜圈子Well,never mindwhat I want,what do you want你直接说你要我怎样好了I don*tknow,lets savean hour.就你认为Why dontyou justtell mewhat I want什么是在交往的男女最佳的状态？No,really.In yourmind...就是现在这样what is the idealliving situationfor twopeople in a relationshipExactlywhat wehave.那是怎样？我们各自有自己的住处And whatis that想在一起时便在一起I havemy place,you haveyours.想独处的时候就独处Were togetherwhen we want to be.就像伍迪艾伦和米亚？And wereapart whenwewantto be.在顺宜出现之前Like Woodyand Mia.自从伍迪艾伦搬到顺宜家之后Before Soon-Yi.一群单身汉就期待得到Ever sinceWoody Allendescribed wavingto MiaFarrow acrossthe park,这种同居的独居生活single menin Manhattanhad yearned我觉得我好像快绝种的恐龙for thatkind ofseparate togetherness.难道只有我需要适应环境吗？I feltlike thelast dinosaur.我对两性关系不抱希望了吗？Was Ithe one who neededto adapt我忍不住开始思考Was myview of a relationshipextincthearts;在这个城市里的男同性恋不但大张旗鼓又讲究时尚I couldntstop thinkingabout it.单身女子的卵巢却正濒临退化的边缘This is a citywhere gaymen are so out,theyre in.我们随时可以请人代劳Where womenaresochronically single,ovaries maybe thenext vestigialorgan.请人带狗散步洗衣服煮菜We canhave anythingdelivered at any hour.既然有了看门的人谁还需要老公？We canhave ourdogs walked,our clothescleaned,our foodcooked.纽约人的男女关系正在进化当中吗？Who needsa husbandwhen you have adoorman自从女人离开了洞窟Are NewYorkers evolvingpast relationships男女关系就开始疏离Relationships havebeen on the decline这么说你不需要男人但你却想拥有一个男人？u1since womencame out of thecave,looked around,and said,This isntso hard.亲爱的我想要的可不只一个Okay,so youdon*tneeda man,but doyou stillwant one真不知道你该代表女人的未来Oh,honey,Iwantmore thanone.-还是灭亡？-当然是未来I cantdecide whetheryou representour future多明尼克让我了解到过去的我有多么贫瘠-or ourdemise.-I amthe future.我们星期五晚上要出去Seeing Dominicreminded meof howneedy I was andhow farIve come.亲爰的你花了一年时间才平复伤痛Were goingout Fridaynight.他当年视你如蔽屣Oh,sweetie!It tookyou ayear to get overhim.你怎么还想和他出去？He treatedyou like shit.就因为他以前视我如蔽屣Why wouldyou wantto goout with him again你这是在自掘坟墓Because hetreated melikeshit.我这是在报复Okay,Tm leaningtowards demise.我要先让他欲火焚身It*s calledrevenge.hearts;hearts;然后在我们办事之前Im gonnamake himwant me,再像他抛弃我一样丢弃他then rightbefore wedo it,你有分寸就好Im gonnadrop himlike hedropped me.可不只是计划我连礼服都买好了As longas yougot a plan.hearts;hearts;Not onlya plan,I have a dress.莎曼珊的复仇计划可谓曲折离奇你比过去还要美艳Samanthas revengefantasy,like allher fantasies,was evenbetter live.事业有成我却已徒增白发Youre morebeautiful thanever.安卡把我的一切全抢走了So successful,and Imgetting grayhair我看报上说她得到了那艘帆船and Ankais takingme foreverything Ivegot.我们曾在船上共度过美妙时光I readthat shegot thesailboat.你和安卡吗？Yes,well,we hadgood timesin thatboat.我是说我们You andAnka我有说过你穿这件衣服美得不可方物吗？-You and I.-Oh!因为史蒂芬始终没有行动Have Imentioned how...unbelievable youlook inthat dress夏洛特决定接受他的邀请到他家用餐And sinceStephan hadntcome out,真好吃Charlotte acceptedhis invitationto stayin.这是煽番茄披萨Thats delicious.撒上新鲜的罗勒叶和巴马干酪起司Grilled portobellopizzas这是玛莎的食谱topped withfresh basiland Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.我喜欢玛莎史都华It*s Marthasrecipe.她就是个“狗的晚礼服〃Well,I loveMartha Stewart.我在柏格朵夫家饰用品店看过这些丝质的桌布Shes the dogs tuxedo.你很有品味Oh,look.You havethese silkplace matsIve beeneyeing atBergdorf s.这是我最想要的厨房You havegood taste.hearts;这也是我的梦想Well,this is my fantasykitchen.这是辛西雅罗莉的服饰吗？And this ismyfantasy.夏洛特希望自己能抛弃成见Is thatdress CynthiaRowley但史蒂芬却让情势每下愈况-Uh-huh.Charlotte wantedtobeopen-minded,这时候莎曼珊已经让多明尼克心痒难耐but Stephanseemed tobe makingit ashard aspossible.；你想要我吗？Meanwhile Samanthawas makingDominic ashard aspossible.我当然想要你So,doyouwantme莎曼珊多年来就等待这一刻Oh...do Iwant you.何须再费心等待？This wasthe momentSamantha hadwaited yearsand yearsfor.我一直在找你你去大人物家了吗？What was another couplehours不我出去逛街了Ive beentrying tocall you.Were you at Bigs我和他的关系正面临僵局Oh,no,I wasout shopping.所以我就想着打扮自己My relationshipis ata standstill.你那边还好吗？So instead,Im evolvingmy look.我和他上床了Hey,how didit gowith Dominichearts;hearts;这不在你的计划之内吧？I slept withhim.我改变主意了我要让他知道他错过了什么Well,that wasntpart of the plan.我以前竟然当他是个完美情人Its partof thenew plan.I wantedto remindhim whathe wasmissing.我现在比他更胜一筹I cantbelieve Ithought hewas sucha greatlover.再见Im betterthan himnow.为了在纽约的男女关系中生存二十年Bye.莎曼珊变成了一种混种人In orderto survivetwo decadesof datingin NewYork,她那纯女性的躯体底下包裹的是大男人的心态Samantha hadbecome apowerful hybrid,夏洛特深怕史蒂芬是个百分之百的男同性恋the egoofa man trappedinthebody ofa woman.她需要找人为她鉴定便带来了两个专家Charlotte fearedthe oppositewas trueof Stephan.凯莉史丹佛这是史蒂芬She stillneeded helpclassifying herfind,so shebrought ina teamof experts.你好Uh...Carrie,Stanford,this isStephan.你换了发型Hi.Hi.对我把头发烫直了You changedyour hair.•我们见过吗？•没有Oh,yeah,I just...its juststraightened.我读过你的专栏-Have wemet-Oh,no,no,no.你在照片上…是一头卷发Ive seenyour column.And inthat photo,你两种发型都很好看your hairis,like,free-flowing and...Botticelli-esque.奶油泡芙和水果蛋糕太棒了Ifs fabulouseither way.里面有各种材料Cannolis andcream puffsand tarts,oh my!这是我试做的成品I puta littlebit ofeverything.这是水果蛋糕和南瓜冻Um...This onesan experiment.这是你为我们做的？Its adate tartwith apumpkin custard.是我做给我的甜心的This isall forus还有两个白吃的朋友Sweets formy sweet.我的营养师一定会宰了我快把叉子给我And herfreeloading friends.•你也一起吃吧？•我很乐意My nutritionistwill killme,but somebodyhand mea fork.但是我得去盯着结婚蛋糕-Can youjoin us-Id loveto,我稍后再回来吃水果蛋糕I havegot toglaze mywedding cake.他的确很吸引人Get backto meon thetart.但他不是同性恋I findhim veryattractive.他绝对不是同性恋Which ofcourse meanshes straight.因为他一直在讨好夏洛特Plus,hes obviouslychoosing tobe straight他会不会是同性恋？只是他还不知道？because heseems tobe headover heelsabout thisone.我们对这种事很清楚What ifhe*s gayand hedoesnt knowit yet我小的时候我爸给我一本Honey,we areaware.两性书籍要教我男女之事When I was aboy,my fathergave mea book我只看了一眼就说我不看about thefemale bodyto teachme aboutsex.他在床上的表现如何？I tookone lookat itand said,No.不知道我还没和他上过床Well,how is he inbed是吗？I dontknow,I haventsleptwithhim yet.但是他很想Really真不公平But hewants to.好男人都这么君子Ifs sonot fair.连男同性恋也是All thegood onesare straight.给我一个墨西哥卷Even thegay ones.你是不是在看我的额头？Give mea cannoli.不是Are youlooking at my forehead米兰达那天晚上和约瑟夫艾勒出去吃饭No,no!这个律师自从结案之后就一直在追她That night,Miranda wentout withJoseph Adler,这个小羊肉很好吃a laborrelations lawyerwhod beenafter hersince thefirm retreat.如果你想看你大可放心看我没什么需要隐瞒的The lambis delicious.我打算在这里植发You canlook ifyouwant,fve gotnothing tohide.她拒绝过他两次Ifs actuallystarting tofill in.是在知道卵巢排卵延迟后Shed refusedhim twicebefore米兰达认为不能因为秃发的问题but sinceshe wasdown toher lastovary,就宣判一个男人死刑Miranda decidedshe wasin noposition toeliminate men我以前跟你说过我是个秃头onthebasis ofhair plugs.我记得Im tellingyou,I waspractically bald.现在能有头发真是个奇迹I remember.一再吃点蛋糕吧•好And nowI havehair.This isa miracle.你一定觉得我很蠢-Some morebastilia-Oh,sure.其实吧我看你似乎很快乐You probablythink Imcrazy.有意思的是我从来没想过我会去植发Actually,Iwasthinking youseem veryhappy.但是我觉得天下没有不可能的事情You know,the funnything is,I never thought that Id bethe kindof guytogetplugs.我懂你的意思But Ivelearned that you shouldnever saynever.最近我也碰到了I knowwhat you mean.我从来没想过的问题There arethings that Ive beenconsidering lately什么事？that I neverthoughtI wouldconsider.你真的想知道吗？Like what当然Do youreally wantto know我最近发现我有排卵迟缓的问题Sure.这没什么Well,I recentlyfound outthat I havea lazy ovary.这表示我每隔几个月只会排一次卵Which isno bigdeal.我甚至不确定我想要小孩It justmeans I only producean eggevery othermonth.但我担心左边卵巢也罢工了And Imnot evensure thatIwantkids,but...hearts;hearts;我就没本钱了all ofa suddenit hitme thatif theother ovaryshuts down,所以我就开始服用荷尔蒙Im out of business.So...现在我甚至开始考虑冷冻卵子Ive startedtaking hormones,冷冻卵子？and nowFm actuallyconsidering freezingmy eggs.就是给卵子开一个帐户Freezing youreggs这样压力就会小一点Yeah,you know,likeafertility savingsaccount.这样就能免除生理时钟的问题I think itwouldtake thepressure off.但这却会增加其他的问题It removesthe wholebiological clockissue.好比什么？Yeah,but itraises alot ofother issues.好比这种生殖科技能为我们做什么？Such as我们要让年届五十的女人勉强生儿育女吗？What isall thisreproductive technologydoing forus也许有些人本来就不该生孩子I mean,do wewant desperatewomen havingbabies at50也许这就是世界优胜劣汰的方式Maybe somepeople arentsupposed toprocreate.如果让我说我认为这是在r滥用科学Maybe thisistheworld sway ofweeding outthe weak.You see现在有基因改造的精子人造子宫If youask me,thisisa ridiculousabuse ofscience.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;有个好主意You havenow designersperm and these simulatedwombs.其实我们可以集体来进行淘汰Heres a good idea.我不需要一个正在植发的人教我什么科学才是正确的-Why dontwe justeliminate menaltogether-Hey!I dontneedtobe lecturedabout scienceby a man whosdoing croprotation onhis米兰达的荷尔蒙会产生作用不是因为约瑟夫forehead.是因为她年仅还有左卵巢Miranda wentoff thehormones,not becauseof whatJoseph said,还不想就此放弃希望33but because she wasonly33,she stillhad herleft ovary,也许哪天她会去把她的卵子冷冻and she wasnt readyto settleoutofcourt.但不是现在Maybe somedaythere wouldbe eggsin herfreezer.同时夏洛特不想再费神探究这位神秘郎君But notyet.她要纵情享受Meanwhile,Charlotte decidedto stoptrying tofigure outher creatureof mystery,雪儿？and justenjoy.我喜欢她Cher她真的很耐磨I loveher.慢着Shes sucha survivor.我得问你几件事情Wait.你和男人在一起过吗？I have to askyou something.没有Have youever beenwith aman你和女人在一起过吗？No.对不起我是想到…Have youever beenwith awoman普蒂布克鲁Im sorry,it*s just...玛莎史都华和辛西雅罗莉…Betty Buckleyand...你是男同性恋吗？Martha Stewartand,and CynthiaRowley!你的排卵有点迟缓排卵迟缓？It appearsyou havealazyovary.对你的右卵巢停止制造卵子了A lazyovaryhearts;hearts;它有没有可能是在闹罢工Yes.Your rightovary hasstopped producingeggs.hearts;hearts;我知道是怎么回事Is itpossible itsjust onstrike我的右卵巢已经放弃了希望I knowwhat thisis.认为我不可能结婚生子My rightovary hasgiven uphope就像庭外和解一样thatIwill everget marriedand havekids.何须多此一举？Its likeworking ona casethatyou know isgonna settleoutofcourt.Why bother你的左卵巢至少还相信你我的生物一向不及格Well,the leftone stillbelieves.我的右卵巢上了哈佛大学真是讽刺Im abiological underachiever.我的子宫易位And itsironic becausethat ovarywent toHarvard.hearts;hearts;-那又怎样？■所以精虫得跳过障碍I havea tilted uterus.才能会合我的卵子-So-So thesperm haveto jump那里至少还有一颗卵子over thathurdle toget tomy egg.我想另外找一家妇产科你喜欢你的医生吗？Yes,but oncethey getthere,there willbe anegg.现在不喜欢I needa newgynecologist.Do youlike yours至少她是个女人Not rightnow,no.我试着去看过男医生但是很奇怪Well,at leastshes awoman.他把时间全花在下面结果连高潮和帐单I triedto goto aman,but itwas justtoo strange.hearts;hearts;夏洛特Are yougay我是个岁住在切尔西区的西点师父Charlotte,35hearts;hearts;我如果是个同性恋Im a35-year-old pastrychef wholives inChelsea.早就是同性恋了If Iwere gay,一直不想做爰的是你I wouldbe gay.hearts;hearts;现在我可以想了Youre theonewhodoesnt wantto makelove.知道史蒂芬不是同性恋之后I wouldntbe sosure aboutthat.夏洛特总算放心了Charlotte wasrelieved anddelighted至少他不是百分之百的同性恋to discoverStephan wasdefinitely straight,坦白来说在到达两次高潮之后谁还会在乎那些？or atleast a gay straight man.hearts;hearts;隔天早上莎曼珊终于明白Frankly,after twoorgasms,who thehell cares她对多明尼克复仇的决心并不如她的欲望来得强烈The nextmorning,it dawnedon Samantha你醒了that her desire forrevenge wasnot asstrong asherdesirefor Dominic.没错Youre awake.你真是美极了Yes.我会想你的Youre soincredibly beautiful.什么意思？Im gonnamiss you.我和安卡决定再试一次What doyoumean完全是为了经济的考量Anka andI aregiving itanother shot.你不能这么对我Its mostlyfinancial.•我很抱歉•不You cantdo this to me.不…-I know,Im sorry.-No.应该是我对你说抱歉No,no,no,no,no!这一切不是我的计划Im supposedto dothisto you.我该走了I had aplan.This isall wrong!你滚I shouldgo.我说过我要走了Get out!你休想再击垮我I saidIwasgoing.当历史重演的时候Stop beatingme tothe punch!莎曼珊才知道她无法像多明尼克一样无情因为她还没有完全的进化As shewatched historyrepeat itself,Samantha但这也算是个好消息realized shecouldnt dowhat Dominicdid,becauseshehadntevolved pasthaving feelings.-早安-早安睡美人And ina way,that wasnice toknow.什么味道这么香？-Good morning.-Good morning,sleepy.蔓越莓脱脂奶烤饼Something smellsamazing.和柠檬酱Its warmcranberry buttermilkscones.我要再和你约会下去准会胖个十磅-Mm!-And lemoncurd.那你还是会很美丽If Icontinue datingyou,Im gonnagain tenpounds.-想不想喝茶？■好谢谢Youll stillbe gorgeous.这是什么声音？-You wantsome tea-Yes,please.•什么声音？•有点像老鼠的叫声What isthat noise我的天-What noise-Its kindof...its likea squeaking.真的是老鼠Oh my God,oh myGod.•你确定吗？•在灭鼠毡上It*samouse.哪里？-Are yousure-Yes,its inthat gluetrap.那里Where它的腿粘住了Uh...there.Oh,ew,ew!你快想想办法Its legsare stuck!・别踢给我一拿走-Ew!Get itout!-Ew,do something.•你能做些什么吗？•它碰到我了-Well,dont kickit tome!-Get itout,get itout!它碰到我了-Ah!Will youdo something-It touchedmy skin!r我的天It touchedmy skin!It scoming outthat way!这时候夏洛特了解到她男性的一面Oh myGod,oh myGod,oh myGod...还没进化成形而史蒂芬的女性特质At thatmoment,Charlotte realizedher masculineside却得到了高度的发展wasnt evolvedenough foramanwhose feminineside自从我的东西被赶走之后was ashighly evolvedas Stephans.这是我第一晚在大人物家过夜And I spent the night at Bigs for the first time你要去哪里？since mystuff waskicked outof thenest.・回家-不要…Where areyou going我的吹风机在我家-Home.-No,nope.我要吹头发Thats wheremy hairdryer is.我现在留的是一头直发I haveto drymy hair.我注意到了Im wearingit straightin caseyou didntnotice.但我觉得你现在这样很好I noticed.你那可爱的小屁股夬回到床上But I thinkitlooks prettyamazing rightnow.hearts;hearts*我得确定没有东西留下Bring thatgorgeous assback intobed.我突然间觉得…I justhavetomake sureI didntleave anythingelse.根本无须在意要不要留下东西And suddenlyI realized...因为我就在那里I didnthavetoworry aboutleaving somethingbehind,好我可以待久一点because Iwas there.但我要把内裤留在这里Okay.Til staya littlelonger.hearts;hearts;它干净吗？But Imleaving thisunderwear here.这是人类的一小步Is itclean却是大人物的一大步It was a smallstep formankind.But itwas areally bigstep forBig.都没给我Having aguy spendall thattime downthere,and thenyou leave今天我请客without anorgasm anda bill.我想餐厅大概不会收这个Here,you guys,Im gonnaget this.我今晚要在大人物家过夜You know,I dontthink theseare acceptedhere.我的天你们交往了这么久你还没有抽屉可放东西吗？Im spendingthenightat Bigs.大人物对私人物品很在意My God,after allthis time,youdonthave so much asa drawerthere男人都一样所以你更应该声张你的地盘Big isweird aboutstuff.亲爱对这又不是争购土地我们只是朋友All menare.Thafs whyyouhaveto juststake outsome territory.没错你应该和他谈谈Sweetie,its not a landrun,its arelationship.对大人物而言还是提着包袱安静的离开为妙Exactly,talk tohim aboutit.没错她不应该留下私人物品With Big,I think its bestto walksoftly andcarry a big purse.保持神秘感很重要Yes.She shouldntleave anythingthere.他都知道她穿内裤了还有什么神秘可言？It*s importantto remaina creatureof mystery.hearts;hearts;我绝不会留内裤在男人家里Whats thebig mysteryHe knowsthat shewears underwear.hearts;hearts;我绝不会再看到它Ineverleave underwearataguys place你的内裤怎么了because Inever seeit again.hearts;hearts;没什么我从来不吃回头草What happensto it每和男人上床就得丢一件内裤是不是太浪费了？Nothing,I justnever goback.所hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;以我现在约会都不穿了Doesnt thatget a little expensiveDisposing oflingerie everytime yousleep with a guyhearts;hearts;这也是我为什么不再向你借衣服的原因Thats whyI stoppedwearing underwearon dates.有一次我在一个男人家里发现别的女人的内裤And thatswhy Imnever borrowinga dressfrom youagain.hearts;hearts;那也许是莎曼珊的I oncefound anotherwomans underwearinamans bed.有一次我在史蒂夫的浴室Maybe itwas Samantha*s!发现一根卷曲的毛发You know,once inSteves bathroom,I foundone ofthose我就一直在想他是在我之前和女友亲热过hair scrunchiesfrom the80s.还是和他约会的女人穿了一件毛衣Imnotsure whatwas moredisturbing,the fact that hehadagirlfriend beforeme我有半数唱盘都是前男友的orthefactthathe datedsomeone whowore ascrunchie.我会把那种东西还回去Half mymusic collectionis leftbehind bypast boyfriends.我不会我不认为那是分手的礼物I alwaysgive that stuff back.我是“混混与自大狂合唱团”的忠实听众Oh,I dont.I consideritaparting gift.那是两性关系的纪念品Thanks forplaying,and heresthe latestfrom Hootieand theBlowfish.我就向他要了一件恤They*re sexualsouvenirs.T上面印有“我与酒保约会却搞得卵巢脏兮兮〃的字样Okay,then Iwant at-shirt thatsays,1第二天一早在大人物家里我便开始思索“I dateda bartenderand allI gotwas thislousy ovary.要是我们留下的东西The nextmorning at Bigs,I startedto think...会成为交往过的纪念If thethings weleave behind我是该留下点东西become the archaeological relicsof oursexual history,I shouldbe abletoleavesomething.古人用壁画证明他们曾经存在我则留下了吹风机Ancient manleft cavedrawings toprove theyexisted.还乐此不疲I lefta HairPro

1200.男人或许发现了火And I didnt stopat that.女人却学会了玩火Man mayhave discoveredfire,夏洛特也在创造历史but womendiscovered howto playwith it.她受够了和她交往的那个原始人Charlotte wasmaking history,as well.竟然和一个承办酒席的同性恋共度周六夜晚Tired ofthe Neanderthalshed beendating,而她当晚的点心就是主厨史蒂芬鲍丁she wasspending herSaturday nightwith a gay friendwhod cateredparties forthe gallery,真没想到普蒂布克鲁这么多才多艺dessert chef,Stephan Bodine.拜托她可是猫的睡衣I hadno ideathat BettyBuckley wasso talented.大家为什么都这么说她？Please,she*sthecat*s pajamas.不知道或许是因为她演出过“猫〃吧Why dopeople saythat我们也来自创一句I haveno idea.Maybe becauseshewasin Cats.好比“她是狗的晚礼服〃Hey,lets startanother one.谢谢你今晚邀请我去-Like,Shes thedogs tuxedo.Okay.别这么说谢谢你接受我临时的邀约Thank yousomuchfor invitingme.我的朋友唐今早取消了约会这张门票又退不掉No,no,no,please,thank youfor acceptingmy last-minute invite.你随时都可以找我My friendDon canceledthis morningand wehad hadtickets forever.能和男人这样畅谈非常难得Well,youcancall meany time.Its justso refreshing你想喝杯咖啡吗？to goout with amanthatIcan actuallytalk to.不了我得回家了You wantto graba cappuccino-你住在住宅区？-对那你…Oh,no,Tve justgot toget onhome.hearts;hearts;我住在切尔西区-Well,youre uptown-Yeah,and youre...我帮你叫一辆计程车Chelsea.你也可以自己叫辆车Fil hailyouacab.露出大腿会有点帮助Or youcould getone yourself.我试过可惜一无所获Just helpsto showalittleleg.谢谢晚安You know,Tve triedthat,and nothing.晚安Thank you,goodnight.所以出了什么问题？Goodnight.我也搞不清了他到底是不是同性恋？So,what happenedWhat doyou think问题没这么简单I amso confused.Is hegay oris hestraight问题在于…Well,it*snotthat simpleanymore.他是个纯粹的男同性恋？The realquestion is,还是个双性恋？ishea straight gay man双性恋是个新兴的族群Or isheagay straight man目前大量出现在曼哈顿的The gay straightmanwasanew strainof heterosexualmalespawned inManhattan asthe resultof overexposure时尚圈外国餐厅音乐会和古董家具界中他最好是个双性恋的男同性恋to fashion,exotic cuisine,musical theater,and antiquefurniture.这表示他拥有男同性恋的特质Well,hopefully hesagaystraightman.如果他是纯粹的男同性恋Which meanshes straightwithalot ofgreat gayqualities.表示他根本不可能碰你Whereas a straightgayguy,那他一定是双性恋is justagayguy whoplays sportsand won*t fuckyou.因为他又约夏洛特出去了He mustbe agaystraightman除非他拒绝承认自己是个百分之百的男同性恋because heasked Charlotteout fora seconddate.但那根本不叫约会Unless hesastraightgay manin denial.我没洗头也戴着眼镜But ourthing Saturdaynight wasnteven adate.那是消遣用药吗？这杯酒对我根本没作用I didntwash myhair andI woremy glasses.这是促进卵巢排卵的荷尔蒙Are thoserecreational Becausethis drinkisnt doingit forme.我妈停经之后才吃那种药Theyre hormones.Tm tryingto jump-start myovary.她的子宫也易位吗？Ithinkmy motherstaking thosefor menopause.hearts;hearts;你们都没注意到我的皮包吗？Why,does shehaveatilteduterustoo真可爱Hey,isnt anybodygoing tonotice mypurse这是新款的吗？-Aw!-Cute!不但它小得放不下内裤Is itnewhearts;hearts;你将内裤留在大人物家了？No,but itis quitesmall andpanty-free.hearts;hearts;没有但我留了梳子吹风机You leftyour underwearatBigs.除毛刀月经棉条・・・Well,no,but Idid leavea hairbrush,a hairdryer,还有眼部卸妆液razors,tampons...有进步and eyemakeup remover.还有别的东西Wow,good foryou!什么？And somethingelse.我第一次在大人物家里上大号Whathearts;我觉得在他家上大号很自在这是好现象For thefirsttimeatBigs...Idida numbertwo.hearts;才怪Yes!Now Ithinkitsagood sign thatI feelcomfortable enoughwith Bigto doa numbertwo.这是恋爱的终结It isnotagoodsign.这真的很了不起Its theend ofromance.我在上一段感情都没做过这种事This isabigdeal.我们周末出去度假我还一直跑大厅的洗手间Iwentthrough anentire relationshipnever doingthat at the guysplace,这在纽约真的很不容易including aweekend inBermuda whereIspentthe wholetime runningtothelobby.公寓很小只有一间浴室Yeah,its toughin NewYork,youknow.hearts;hearts;在里做什么都听得到Apartments aresmall,theres onebathroom.所以我只和有钱人约会You canhear everybodyseverything.钱能买到足够的空间让你上大号Thats whyIonlydate richmen.hearts;hearts;hearts;我就从未在男友家上过大号Money meansthat theresenough spaceto distanceyourself fromthe numbertwo.hearts;你太紧张了你应该上七号Ihavenever donea numbertwo ata boyfriendsplace.hearts;抱歉这是吧台的那位先生请的Honey,youre souptight,youneedto doa numberseven.・是吗？Excuse meIts fromthat guyattheend ofthe bar.我的天那是多明尼克Oh,really多明尼克德墨纳哥是个出版业巨子Oh,myGod,its Dominic.他是莎曼珊第一个也是唯一爰过的男人Dominic Delmonacowasapublishing magnate,他曾与她有过一段炽烈的恋情andthefirst andonly manSamantha reallyloved.He winedand dinedher,set thebar forhot sex,却为了冰岛一个叫安卡的名模抛弃了她后来又因为离婚上了“财富”杂志封面then dumpedher foran Icelandicsupermodel namedAnka.hearts;hearts;我去跟他打招呼Once onthe coverof Fortune,hed fallento tabloidlevel dueto amessy publicdivorce.你不在意他抛弃了你？Im justgonna sayhello.-他做了什么？■让她心碎After whathe didtoyou你能想像莎曼珊心碎吗？-What didhedo-He brokeher heart.对夏洛特而言这比和男同性恋舌吻更难以想像Imagining Samanthawithabroken heart那都过去了was almostmore confusingto Charlottethan aFrench kissfrom agay man.我现在拥有绝对的优势Ancient history.我早就超越他了Im theone withthe powernow.小美人Ive evolvedpast him.帅哥Hey,beautiful.这是什么？Hiya,handsome.你留在我家的几样东西Hey!Whats this谢谢Oh,justafewthingsyou leftatmyplace.这种感觉就像…Thanks.我被踢出了我们之间的关系It*s likeI hadone toomany items大人物的家是怎么回事？andIwas beingkicked outoftherelationship expresslane.那里就像个所有女人的不沾锅What isit aboutBigs apartmentNothingever sticks,its likeTeflon forwomen.我是故意把东西留在你那里的为什么？I meanttoleavethatstuffat yourapartment.因为…Why我不是一起床就画好妆的Well...。