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欲望城市(性爱专家凯莉布雷萧)“老狗新家伙”hearts;hearts;有人说纽约的女人是全世界最漂亮的They saythat thewomen in New York这解释了为何纽约的男人are themost beautifulwomen in the world.总是对她们目不转睛Which explainswhy meninNew York这个城市是为男人流转的目光而设计的游乐场spend all their timelooking at them.不幸的是他们需要双眼The cityis averitable playgroundfor mensroving eyes.都看前方才能生存Unfortunately,they needboth of them我是个快乐的纽约女人looking straightahead tosurvive.我和大人物复合了This NewYork womanwas prettyhappy.不幸的是我的纽约男人I wasseeing Bigagain.仍盯着别的女人看Unfortunately,my NewYork guy如果那是他最大的毛病was stillseeing other women.你很幸运If checkingout otherwomen isthe biggestproblem若这习惯如此微不足道他应该改得掉you*re havingwith him,youre lucky.亲爱的你没办法改变它Well,if itsthat small,he shouldbe ableto stop.这存在于他们的基因密码中就像放屁Oh,honey,you cant change thatabout a man.hearts;hearts;你会害我吃不下我的脆饼Its partof theirgenetic code,like farting.接受大人物原本的模样Oh,please,youre gonnaput meoff mypretzel.You have to takeBig theway heis.你不可能改变男人Once you start totry to change aman,its doomed,it takesa long我希望能好好享受做爰的乐趣time toheal,but...But Imwilling to do that,I...hearts;hearts;那真是太体贴了I want to feelgood aboutmaking love.你介意等待吗?Oh,that isso...sweet.一点也不-Do youmind waiting-Oh,no.显然莎曼珊错了Not atall.有些男人会让步Apparently,Samantha was wrong.以迈克为例他的牺牲还真不少Some mencould budge an inch.隔天早上米兰达又被起床号吵醒了In Mikescase,it may have beenmore like,an inchand a half.hearts;你上哪儿去?The nextmorning,Miranda wasgetting herusual wake-up call.我要起床Hey,where areyou going今天是星期六躺着吧Im gettingup.过来Ah,come on,its Saturday.Come on,lay down,slow down.我们要躺多久?Come here.拥抱也有时间限制?How longare wegonna dothis是的比如二十分钟?You wanta timeframe forcuddling还是三十分钟?Yeah.Like20minutes你在开玩笑吧Thirty让我知道何时结束比较好Youre kiddingme.我习惯有限制It helpsif I have anend point in mind.这就是你的问题你给自己太多限制了I respondwell tolimits.你得放手一点米兰达Thats yourproblem,you gottoo manylimits.听着星期六是我的空闲日You gottalet goa little,Miranda.我得洗衣服再去拿干洗衣物Look...Saturday ismy freeday,right还得去修指甲I havespinning,and thenI get my dry cleaning,去采购一周的食物and thenI getmy nailsdone,听起来不怎么空闲and I do mygrocery shoppingfor theweek.你要陪我去拿干洗的衣服吗?Youre notsounding veryfree tome.我想也是Do you want tocome with me andgetmydrycleaning最多再躺一个半小时No,I didn*t thinkso.十二个小时后史蒂夫去上班了An hourand ahalf,tops.与此同时我们齐聚在最爰的酒吧Twelve hours later,Steve wentto work.这里星期六会举行变装皇后的宾果游戏About thesame time,we wentout toour favoritebarhearts;hearts;快点…which onSaturdays,changes intodrag queenbingo.N23我真的很喜欢他Come on,come on,N-
23.但早上做爱这档事把我整惨「I really like him.hearts;hearts;不在晚上做已经够糟了But thismorning thing is killingme.早上完事后他还要我陪他一起躺着Its badenough wevenever doneit atnight,每个人都想要可以拥抱的男人but afterwe doit in the morning,he justwants tolie therewithme.Everyone wantsa guywho wantsto cuddle.各位033该死0-33,ladies.我很嫉妒你Shit!大人物甚至不肯在我家过夜Well,Tm jealous.你拥有真正的亲密关系Big wonteven spend the night at my place.我是被软禁在床上You know,what youhave isreal intimacy.我曾整天躺在床上Its bed-arrest.但我有事要做我没洗衣服Ive beenhorizontal allday,能做爰就别洗衣服了and I had errandsto do,I missedspinning.hearts;hearts;You dont have tospin if youre having sex.B12来个如何?B-12!N23我干嘛玩这个?我从没赢过How aboutN-23hearts;hearts;为什么我得调整作息?I dontknow whyI playthis,I neverwin.因为你真的很喜欢他Why doI have to bethe one to change my routine而且放慢生活步调也无妨Well,maybe becauseyou reallylike the guy米兰达是对的and itwouldnt killyou toslow downa little.为什么改变的总是女人永远不是男人?No,Mirandas right.因为我们适应力比较强Why isit thewoman thatalways hasto change and neverthe guy我喜欢在早上做爰Because weare moreadaptable.hearts;hearts;我大学毕业以后就没在早上做过爰了I lovemorning sex.而且那还是因为点才有课I haventdone morningsex sinceI wasin college你应该排一个11and thenit wasonly becauseI didnthave tobe inclass untileleven.时间表做爱时间表Well,maybe youguys shouldcome upwith aschedule orsomething.hearts;hearts;那还真浪漫呢A sexschedule给他一个惊喜只穿着雨衣带着微笑去找他Very romantic!那将是酒吧的快乐时光Yeah,surprise himat the bar wearingnothing buta trenchcoat anda smile.Now,that wouldbe ahappy hour.069如果你对这段感情认真你应该想办法维持下去0-69!为了包皮把男友电了的女人居然说这种话I justthink thatifyou reallybelieve in the relationshipthen you should workat it.事实上我们还在交往This,from a woman whodumped aguy overforeskin.那个沙皮狗?Actually,were stilldating.他要去割包皮The Shar Pei拜托告诉我我们不必去观礼Hes gettingcircumcised.再给我一块板子好吗?Please tellme thatwere notinvited tothe bris.莎曼珊?Could I get anotherboard,please我就是Samantha是我布莱德Yes.布莱德麦考斯基?It*s me.Brad.布莱德是莎曼珊几年前Brad McColskeyBradwas asemi-professional hockeyplayer交往过的曲棍球员最近他唯一阻挡的东西在他的裤裆Samantha haddated afew yearsback.看看你大美女你好漂兄Apparently,the onlything hewas checkingthese dayswere hispants...atthedoor.你也是Look at you,miss thing,you lookfabulous!你从什么时候开始…Oh,wow,well,so doyou.大约五年前Uh...When didyoustartdoing...Doing...跟你分手之后Oh!About fiveyears ago.也许莎曼珊错了Right afteryou.显然她可以改变一个男人Maybe Samanthawaswrong.孩子们好吗Apparently,she couldchange aman.很好杰克上二年级了How are the kids杰克有两个妈妈了Oh,good,good,Jake is in secondgrade.别的客人也需要板子莎曼珊Jake hastwo mommies.吃颗感冒药吧西贡小姐There areother peoplewho needboards,Samantha.莎曼珊?Take achill pill,Miss Saigon!模仿是最真诚的奉承Samantha我要走了玩得愉快Well,imitation isthe sincerestform offlattery.Gotta go,enjoy thegame!N23宾果N-23!Bingo!我比他漂亮多了两个小时后我和大人物约在他家见面I amso muchprettier thanhim.两个半小时后他终于现身了Two hourslater,I wassupposed tomeet Bigat hisplace.对不起Two andahalf hourslater,he showedup.你迟到了半小时Sorry.门房以为我是妓女Youre ahalfhourlate.hearts;hearts;hearts;・有生意上门吗?•不好笑我讨厌等人Your doormanthinks Ima hooker.在这里等你-Did youmake anymoney-Not funny.I hatewaiting,转角有一家咖啡厅here,for you.你可以进去等Theres acoffee shop,around thecorner,我要走了you couldVewaited,in.・别生气■我快气死了You knowwhat Im gonna go.上楼吧-Oh,dont bepissed.-Im pissed!如果你给我一把钥匙WelL..Come upstairs.下次我就能在楼上等You know,ifyougave me a key,钥匙?I couldwait upstairsnext time.或者偶尔你可以在我家过夜A key我的锁很容易撬开Or you can stayat myplace sometimes.可是我喜欢我的床Ifs easyto pickmy locks.还有电梯服务Yeah...But then,I likemy bed.来吧Look atthat service.当晚气氛不太一样Come on.我们两个都不想做爰That night,something elsechanged.hearts;hearts;如果大人物只能付出这么多这对我来说够吗?Neither of us wantedto makelove.然后凌晨三点在半梦半醒之际If thiswas allI wasever gonnaget out of Big,was itenough for me我得到了答案And then,at3:00am,somewhere betweensleep andwaking,•该死•怎么了?I gotmy answer.凯莉-Ow,dammit!-What你没事吧?Huh Carrie才怪Ah!Are youall right搞什么鬼?No!我的天What thefuck你干嘛?Oh,my God!你把我推下床What thehell wasthat你根本不知道我在这里You knockedme outof bed!我现在知道了下次你是不是要打断我的手臂?You didnt even know I washere!对不起Well,I donow.Why don*tyoubreak myarm thenext time老天Im sorry.Jesus!好吧小可爰一整张床都让给你•你要去哪里?God.All right,Sugar Ray.我去睡沙发-The bedsall yours.-Where areyou going等等听我解释Im gonnasleep on the couch.现在不要谈…Well,wait!Would youjust let me explain现在不是谈话的时机Dont talknow...但我睡不着Bad,to talknow.凌晨四点我决定让他陪我一起睡不着But Icouldnt sleep.这是给你敷脸的冰块And at4:00a.m.,I decidedhe couldntsleep,either.我感觉得到Ifs icefor your face.我知道是我乱发脾气Yes,I canfeel that.我也肯定大部分的女性杂志Okay,I know Ive losta littleof mypower here,hearts;hearts;会说我不该那么做and Impretty surethat mostwomens magazines但…那晚我生气would saythat whatI justdid wasa verybad idea.不只是因为雪茄But...The thingis,the othernight...从来都不是wasnt just about thecigar.我讨厌你看别的女人It neveris.我讨厌没有你家的钥匙I hate that you look atotherwomen.你从不在我家过夜你的床…I hatethat Idon*thavea key to your place.甚至容不下我Youve neverspent the night at myplace.You canteven make...这不是你的错因为是我没跟你说space forme in your bed.而现在我揍了你一拳所以我非说不可And its not yourfault becauseI neversay it.所以现在我要说了So,now Ipunched you,so,nowI have tosay it.;我觉得虽然我们复合了…So nowIm gonnasay it.但却没什么改变I feel like,Im backinyourlife,我知道你不可能改变一个男人and nothinghas reallychanged.像你这样的男人更不可能改变可是…And I know that you cantchange aman,我仍然希望有一点改变and youdefinitely cantchange aman likeyou,but,为了我I stillwant...something tochange,a littlebit,肢体暴力绝非解决之道forme.hearts;hearts;我走了Physical violenceis neverthe answer.-会痛吗?-会Im gonnago.听着我相信我一定有让你不满意的地方-Does ithurt-Yes.少来这套Look,Tm surethere arethings youdont like about me.这是我喜欢大人物的一点Not fallingfor thatone.他很清楚何时该闭嘴Well,that wasone thing I likedabout Big.隔天晚上夏洛特和迈克出去He definitelyknew whento shutup.喝一杯手术后的威士忌The nextnight,Charlotte tookMike out那会痛吗?for apostoperative scotch.以一到五的等级来说我想是…So,did ithurt七十二?On ascale ofonetofive,Id giveit a...・好可怜■没关系-Seventy-two-Ah!最坏的已经过去了现在…-You poorthing!-Oh,that*s alright.我只接受同情等待复原The worstis over,nowI just...需要多久?accept sympathyand heal.再过一个礼拜左右For howlong我等不及了About anotherweek orso.我也是I cantwait.天啊夏洛特Me either.你真是让我性致勃勃Oh,God,Charlotte,你…你还是走吧you reallyturn meon.当晚借着咖啡提神You know,you really...You shouldgo.米兰达决定施展午夜诱惑Much laterthat night,bolstered bycoffee,你看你美极了Miranda decided to performa2:00a.m.seduction.有什么大事?Wow,look atyou,you lookgreat!现在两点了但我还不想睡Whats theoccasion我想我们应该庆祝一下Its2:00a.m.and I am stillawake.I thoughtwe couldcelebrate.我已经喝了五杯咖啡那倒值得开个派对Ive hadfive cupsof coffee.在房间等我我去拿酒Thats wortha party.hearts;起来Meet mein thebedroom,Ill getthe wine.怎么了?Hey,get up.今晚你该回家睡觉What为什么?I thinkyoushouldspendthe nightatyourplacetonight.我想多睡一下Why而且不必担心Because Idreallyliketo catchup onmy sleep,早上还得跟你做爰and Ireally dontwanttoworry about之后躺着休息导致上班迟到hearts;hearts;havingsex with you inthe morning,你不喜欢跟我做爱and thenjust lyingthere andbeing late.hearts;hearts;我很喜欢You dont like havingsexwithme.他绝不会让步No,Ido,I loveit.但你能够巧妙地连哄带骗they wontbudgeaninch.你可以在发型和穿着上做文章Well,Iknow,but you can...subtly manipulateand cajole.不过连那也是长期抗争The onlythings youcan workwith arehair andwardrobe,hearts;hearts;我喜欢他的发型和穿着but eventhen,its aconstant battle.知足吧I alreadylike thehair andwardrobe.没有完美的男人Then behappy.我并非要求完美我只是希望他做一点小改变Honey,no manis perfect.小心点Im notasking forperfection,Tm justlooking for,uh...slight alterations.稍有不慎便会一败涂地Oh,be carefulwith alterations.当我们探讨改变理论时If youpull thewrong thread,everything fallsapart.米兰达正亲身体验While Samanthaand Idiscussed thetheory ofchange,她有了新公寓新男友Miranda wasgoing throughit forreal.hearts;hearts;以及让她抓狂的新约会时间She hada newapartment,a newboyfriend...对不起And anew datingschedule that was killingher.我本来以为酒吧会早点打烂Hey,Im sorry.r你已经睡了I thoughtwe dbe closingthe barearlier.没有我还醒着Oh,jeez,you wereasleep.来吧No,no,Im up,hi.过来你没事吧?Come onin.・我看看-Come here,you okay0w,ow.但我希望至少有一次在晚上做像其他正常人一样But justonce Iwould liketo doit atnight,放轻松我们可以现在做like othernormal Homosapiens.不行Hey,relax!We canhave sexnow.本来有个很好的时机但那是半小时前的事了We canthave sexnow!做爰还有时机?Ihada window,and ithappened halfan hourago!hearts;hearts;抱歉我是个律师我会累You hada windowfor sex我是个酒保Im sorry,fm alawyer,Igettired.我早已厌烦别人情绪失控大呼小叫当你…Yeah,well,Tm abartender,and Iget awfullytiredof dealingwith otherpeoples neuroses.时机对了或是门户大开…When youget,uh...再打电话给我Get,you know,a...a picturewindow ora wholedoorway oftime,hearts;米兰达从未觉得自己是个如此失败的律师hearts;call me.即使她打赢了官司Miranda hadnever feltless like a successfullawyer inher life.却也受到伤害Even thoughshed wonher case,一个星期后夏洛特终于有机会shed alsobeen leftwith allthe damages.一窥新货的真面目A weeklater,Charlotte finallygot herchance你认为怎么样?to breakinthenew merchandise.太完美了What doyou think这感觉好像是同时收到生日和圣诞礼物Its perfect.你知道这将是我的初体验?It waslike herbirthday andChristmas rolledinto one.我会很温柔的You realizethis makesmea virgin.那真是太美妙了Fil begentle.没错That wasreally wonderful.是五根搅拌棒It was.你礼拜六晚上要做什么?A five.礼拜六?我们有计划了吗?So,what doyouwantto doSaturday night没有但…Saturday Didwe haveplans我想我们可以去参加戏剧联展的义演No,but...或是低调一点待在家里看录影带I thoughtmaybe wecould go to thisdrama leaguebenefit,夏洛特等等听我说or wecould...you know,go low-key andstay in and rentvideos.我认为我还没准备好定下来Oh,Charlotte,hang on,listen.定下来?I dontthink Imready forthis tobe...you know,likeabig thing.我只是觉得我现在不能被绑住A bigthing我已经焕然一新Well,I...I justfeellike I cantbe tieddown rightnow.我应该出去外面和大家分享Theres awhole newme happening.你想分享你的命根子?I feellike I should getout thereand shareit.我…没错You wantto shareyour penis我的意思是Well...Yeah.我应该它出去见识一下外面的世界I mean,I feellike Iowe itto myself夏洛特再也没见过迈克to take the doggieout fora walkaround theblock.她明白你可以让命根子脱离沙皮狗的模样You knowCharlotte neversaw Mikeagain.却永远无法去除男人的狗性She realizedyou couldtake theShar Peioutof the penis,几天后我发现你的确可以改变男人but shecould nevertakethedog outoftheman.你可以让他不再打电话给你A fewdays later,I realizedyou couldchange aman.hearts;hearts;瞧瞧那黑眼圈You couldchange himinto notcalling you.Well,look atthat.你才看清楚我已经看过了对不起No,youlookat it,Fve seenit already.别轻举妄动Sorry.手不能靠近脸部Ah,easy!进来吧No handsnear theface.我只是来跟你说一件事Come in.你要告我对不对?I justcame overto tellyou something.听着Youre suingme,right也许你需要一把钥匙才能相信我为你疯狂Look,但事实上我曾给过五把钥匙maybe youneed akeytoknow thatIm crazyabout you.却从没拿回来过But thethingis,Ive givenout like,five keys.也许我霸占了整张床但那是我的床And younever getem back.而且…我喜欢你躺在上面And maybeI...I hogmy bed.But,I mean,its mybed.我应该更常打你And,well,I likeyouin it.;还有柳橙Wow Ishould hityou moreoften.不能在床上吃柳橙-And theoranges.-What这是我不喜欢你的地方The orangeshave to go.我讨厌你在我床上吃柳橙Now,this issomething I dontlikeabout you.真的?I hatethatyoueat orangesin mybed.它们粘粘的还会把我的床单弄臭You do就这样?Theyre stickyand theymake thesheets stink.我喜欢我的床单Thats it你拿什么跟我交换柳橙?I likemy sheets.你要讨价还价?What areyou gonnagive mefor theoranges是的A negotiation这可能要一段时间Yep.有可能Well,this couldtake awhile.看来我得在这里过夜了It could.当晚大人物第一次Well,it looks likeImayhaveto spendthenight.在我家过夜That night,for the first time,我明白我们两个都无法彻底改变Big spentthenightatmyplace.但我们愿意面对这件事I realizedthat neitherofuswould everfundamentally change,也许那就是最大的改变but we were talkingabout it.隔天我的床单都是雪茄味And maybethatwas the biggestchange ofall.我马上把它们换掉The nextday,my sheetsstunk ofcigars.凌晨两点在城的另一头I changedthem immediately.米兰达却毫无睡意Across town,it was2:00am,and Miranda was nocloser to getting sleep.喂?嗨Hello抱歉吵醒你了Hi.不要紧我还没睡Sorry towake you.我不想烦你Its okay,I wasawake.帮我一个忙到窗边来Look,I dontwanna bugyou.Um...抬头望Do mea favor,gotothe window.我的天Now lookup.很美吧?Oh,my God!蓝色的月亮It*s amazing,isnt it很少见的Its ablue moon,我只是想让你看看its reallyrare.就在此刻Ijustwanted youto seeit.米兰达终于放慢步调向史蒂夫投降It was right then,下班后过来好吗?that Mirandafinally sloweddown,and gaveinto Steve.好Come overwhen youredone,okay再见Yeah.当晚米兰达和史蒂夫做爱Night.hearts;hearts;他们在早上又做了一次That night,Miranda andSteve madelove.米兰达迟到了一小时她却完全没注意And theydid itagain inthemorning.Mirandawasan hourlate forwork anddidntevennotice.也许你无法改变男人但在千载难逢的机会下你可以改变一个女人So,maybe you cantchange aman,but oncein ablue moon,youcan changeawoman.这样好一点了吗?-Lets see.-Ah!好多了谢谢Is thatbetter你今晚过得如何?Thats better,thank you.我不知道我睡着了So,how wasyour night抱歉我迟到了I dontknow,I wasasleep.我以为我们大约两点会打烂Im sorryI waslate.结果来了一群日本银行家I thoughtweweregonna closethebararound two.他们喝得烂醉如泥Then wegot thisbig groupof Japanesebankers camein.其中一个还吐了…And allthey wantis thesebig flamingdrinks.算了And thenone of them gotsick andthen...史蒂夫什么都好除了一件事Never mind.早安Everything wasgreat aboutSteve,except forone thing.过来Morning.他们的作息完全相反Come here!史蒂夫整个早上都很空闲They hadcompletely oppositeschedules.米兰达却得七点起床Steve hadallthetime inthe worldinthe mornings.可惜史蒂夫也在早上升国旗Miranda gotright upat seven.我得去上班Unfortunately,Steve didtoo.还没Ihavetogoto work.米兰达早上只喜欢Not yet.在去地铁站途中喝杯咖啡当晚夏洛特跟迈克打得The onlything Mirandaliked insideher inthemornings火热was thecup oftake-out coffeeshe drankontheway tothe subway.他是一个以五根搅拌棒评分制That night,inabed acrosstown,Charlotte wasseeing alot ofMike,而闻名的美食评论家a cutebut fearedrestaurant critic迈克?famous forhis patentedfive-whisk ratingsystem.我们做爱吧Mikehearts;hearts;夏洛特你是个五根搅拌棒的女人Lets makelove.正当夏洛特准备探索他的命根子时Charlotte...Charlotte,you area five-whisk woman.却收到意外惊喜But justwhen Charlotte had becomecomfortable withthe penis,你的…she gota veryunexpected surprise.它…Oh…Youre...没割包皮Its…这没关系吧?Uncircumcised.不…当然Is thatokay当然没关系No!Sure.这大有关系Of course,it is.她唯一看过一刀未剪的事物It wasnot okay.是原版的“乱世佳人〃The onlyuncut versionof anythingCharlottehadever seen有好多层皮wastheoriginal GoneWith TheWind.简直就像沙皮狗There was so muchskin,你没看过未割包皮的阴茎it waslikeaShar Pei!hearts;hearts;我来自康乃迪克州Youve neverseen anuncircumcised one提醒一下你是跟人交往不是命根子Im fromConnecticut!我很重视美感Reminder,youre datingtheguy,not thepenis.重要的不是长什么样而是功能Aesthetics areimportant tome.我不需要能自制包皮的男人Its notwhat itlookslike,its whatthey cando withit.hearts;hearts;我个人偏爰没割包皮的命根子Well,I dontneed onethat canmake itsown carryingcase!就像棒棒糖-Ha,ha,ha,ha!-Personally...!love anuncircumcised dick.外面是硬的里面却蕴藏美味的惊喜Its likea tootsiepop.我不喜欢惊喜Hard onthe outside,with adelicious surpriseinside.我喜欢一览无遗I dontlike surprises.我也是很抱歉那不正常I likeit allout therewhere Ican seeit.事实上的男人没割包皮Same here,Tm sorry,it isnot normal.85%很好现在他们接管全世界了Well,actually,it is.Something like85%of menarent circumcised.那是阴茎不是哥斯拉Great,now theyretaking overthe world!hearts;hearts;如果的男人没割包皮Honey,its apenis,not Godzilla.85%我最多只和的男人上过床Hey,if85%arent circumcised,15%你几乎可算是处女that meansIve onlyslept with15%ofthepopulation,tops!hearts;hearts;Wow,youre practicallyavirgin.他是个好人怎么会这样?也许他父母不信这一套You know,hes anice,waspy guy.What wentwrong我一定会帮我儿子割包皮Well,maybe hisparents werehippies andthey justdidnt believeinit.现在可以付钱请别人帮你做Iamso circumcisingmy kids.我才不想让别的女人I thinkyoucanpay peopletodo that now.在背后叫我儿子沙皮狗I dontever wannaknow theresawomanout there我认为没割包皮的男人最棒calling myson aSharPei.他们会更努力All Imsaying isuncut menarethebest.我再清楚不过了They tryharder.我跟其中五个人上过床Ishouldknow.总数是多少?Fve sleptwith fiveofthem.无限多Out ofhow many当晚大人物和我心血来潮外出用餐Infinity.再来一点格拉帕酒?That night,Big andI wentout tocelebrate...absolutely nothing.不谢了More grappa今天我的编辑打电话给我…No,thank you.hearts;hearts;你刚跟我说话?Oh,listen,my editorcalled metoday andshes…没错You weresaying抱歉这里不能抽烟Yes,I was.真的吗?Excuse me,youcantsmoke thatin here.Really你百分之百肯定?因为我查过这张桌子的位置Youre absolutelypositively sureabout that我确信它是在雪茄友善区内Because,I checkedthe zoningon thisparticular table,我并不介意但这是为了其他顾客and Impretty surethis tableisina cigar-friendly zone.如果那五位顾客不介意就没问题了?Well,Idont mind,but itsfor the other patrons.-先生我必须…-等一下Oh,you mean,if thosefive patronsdontmind,its okaywith you不好意思今天是我在世的最后一日-Sir,Imgonnahaveto...-Just onesecond.明天早上我就要被处死了Excuse me,this ismy lastday onearth.那位是我的假释官Im beingexecuted tomorrowmorning.你们介意我抽雪茄吗?Um,thats myparole officerthere.不介意Would youmind terriblyif Ismoked this,ladies谢谢No.抱歉Thank you.我可以抽雪茄吗?Excuse me,Tm sorry.让我先说一句Would itbe okayif Ismoked this我乐意请各位再喝一杯酒And,please,letme显然其他顾客一点也不觉得困扰Fd liketo buyeverybody around ofdrinks.我没有勇气告诉大人物其实他的行为让我很反感Apparently,the otherpatrons arentbothered atall.他们不会告诉你实话的I didnthave theguts totell Bigthat hewas actuallykind ofbothering me.没有人会当着你的面说他们讨厌你抽雪茄Well,itsnotlike theyregonna tellyou thetruth.那才好No oneis gonnasay toyourfacethey hateyour cigar.你真的很傲慢Good.我以为你正喜欢我这一点You arevery arrogant.或许大人物说得对I thoughtthats whatyou likedabout me.或许我们在这段感情中正处于Maybe Bigwasright.对方吸引你的地方全变成了Maybe wewere atthat inevitablepointinthe relationship难以忍受的缺点when allthose littlethings youlove aboutthe otherperson become...hearts;就在此时huge liabilities.他的毛病又犯了And justthen...怎么了?...a hugeliability walkedby.我…What我…讨厌那雪茄I...而你当着我的面说了I...hatethatcigar.纽约无时无刻不在改变And youtold meright tomy face.一眨眼纽约人便改变了发型政治立场和朋友NewYorkCity isall aboutchange.hearts;hearts;若改变如此容易为何对大人物而言这么难?New yorkerschange theirhaircuts,their politics,even theirfriends inthe blinkof aneye.难道我要用头撞墙If changewassoeasy,why wasit sohard forBig好让他注意我?Was Ibanging myhead againstthe wall我必须改变我的期望吗?或者是否可能…thinking Icould gethim tostop andnotice me你可以改变一个男人吗?Did Ihavetochangemyexpectations,or wasit possible...我丈夫以前很迷运动节目Can youchangeaman后来我开始跟他最好的朋友乱搞My husbandused tobe obsessedwith watchingsports twenty-four hoursa day.现在他一心只想守着我Then Istarted foolingaround withhis bestfriend.每个女友都希望我有所改变And nowhes obsessedwith watchingme.工作朋友态度等等Every girlfriendIve hadwants metochangesomething.结果我唯一的改变就是换女友Change yourjob,change yourfriends,change yourattitude.不可能The onlythingIever change...is girlfriends.同时夏洛特即将发现有些男人的确可以改变No.谢谢你的晚餐棒极了Meanwhile,Charlotte wasabout todiscover thatsome mencanchange.那么…Thanks fordinner,it wasgreat.我能跟你一起上楼吗?So,uh...明天我得早起-Can Icome upstairswith you-Oh,jeez,uh...•而且我家乱七八糟•没关系…Ihavetogetup reallyearly,我明白-and myplace isjustamess.-Look,Charlotte,I...-真的-对・.I understand.那天晚上发生的事…-You do-Yeah,I mean...你不是第一个有那种反应的女人What happenedtheothernight,youre…我这辈子大部分时候都是这样youre notthefirstwoman toreact toit thatway..真的吗?.真的Ive gottenthat mostof mylife.我决定一劳永逸-Really-Yeah.我已经为此困扰太久了所以…And Ivedecidedtodo somethingabout it.我打算去割包皮Ive beenuncomfortable fortoo long,so...你肯这么做?Im gettingcircumcised.是的手术很痛Can youdothat而且伤口要很久才会愈合但我愿意这么做Well,yeah,I mean,it hurts,。