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欲望城市(性爰专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问)“来得快去得快”hearts;hearts;我要出门了再见祝你愉快Okay,I gottago.亲一个吧Goodbye,have agood day.再见Give mea kiss.要在纽约市结束一段Bye,bye.恋情的缺点是One of the unfortunatethings aboutending arelationship虽然在情感上不再依恋对方in anexpensive citylike New York is...身体上还是纠缠不清While youcan emotionallymove awayfrom eachother,要去上班了?you physicallycant.对去上班Hey,going to work抱歉把你吵醒Yeah,work.现在几点钟?Sorry aboutwaking you.六点半What timeis it天啊这么早?6:
30.我要做简报Jesus,why soearly根本没有简报这回事I got a briefdue,so...史蒂夫和米兰达玩这种There was nothing briefabout it,“礼貌性回避对方”的游戏已经三个礼拜了Steve andMiranda hadbeen doingthe polite,avoid eachother break-up dancefor aboutthree weeks.很抱歉我这么久还找不到房子hearts;Hey.Im sorryits takingme solong tofind aplace...是吗?for thosewho findthemselves inneed.在那里前男友们Really.可以反省他们做错了什么Like a big orphanagefilled withwhite beds在干净安全的房间哭着入睡where oldboyfriends couldthink about what theydid wronghearts;你是不是舍不得他搬走?and crythemselves tosleep in a clean,safe environment.不是那么简单You thinkmaybe you dont reallywant him to moveaway我的理智告诉我No,its notthat simple.应该要他离开了My headtells meits time for himto leave,不过想到他要搬到那样的地方but theidea ofhim movingto abasement apartment却让我心碎on thecorner ofDepressing andWest ShitStreet一般认为女人习惯用breaks my heart.管情绪的左脑思考Its apretty commonbelief thatwomen tendto use男人则是用管逻辑的右脑the left,more emotionalside oftheir brain,不过真的是天生如此吗?and men,the right,more logicalside.当问题的出发点是感情But is it reallythat cutand dry理智就得跟情感交战It seemsthat whenit comes to affairsofthe heart,当陷入这种左脑与右脑的战争时theres abattle betweenwhat weknow andwhat wefeel.;你要怎么做?So what do youdo whenyou findyourself in a situation谈感情时that leapsback andforth betweenthe leftand the right side到底应顺从感觉还是听从理智?When itcomestorelationships,这是崔从医学院毕业的照片isitsmarter tofollow yourheart or your head几天后夏洛特会见崔家族的重心This isTrey,the summerhe graduatedfrom medicalschool.他的母亲邦妮麦克道格Later thatweek,Charlotte metthe headand heartof Treysfamily.崔你穿学士服好可爱His mother,Bunny MacDougal.那是在我们跳进喷泉前拍的Trey,you lookso cuteinacap andgown!接下来呢?Thats justbefore wejumped in the fountain and allhell brokeloose.卖童子军薄脆饼的照片?Mother,whats nexthearts;hearts;至少我没有把熊皮地毯那一张带来Boy scoutsnaps请见谅夏洛特Count yourblessings I didnt bringthe oneon thebearskin rug.她就是个照相狂You!!!have toexcuse her,Charlotte.你要是坚持把我们拖进时光隧道Shes abit ofa cameraNazi.;hearts;hearts;我就要喝点酒Well if you insiston draggingus downmemory lane...抱歉Im getting a realdrink.我要威士忌加冰Excuse me.你应该点红酒-Glenlivit,rocks,please.-Yes,sir.对心脏比较好Maybe youshould have a redwine instead.好的Better fortheheart.・红酒・汤玛士…Alrighty.我们还要一点起司小点心-Red wine.-Oh,Thomas,■好的女士•谢谢你wed lovesome moreof thesenibbly cheesethings.他年岁有了却不曾忘记我的马丁尼-Very good,maam.-Thank you.你会打网球吗?Hes olderthan water,but neverforgets amartini.会So...Do youplay tennis我喜欢她Mm-hmm.加入俱乐部吧I likeher.你们两个今晚有什么计划?Join theclub.我们要去克罗许吃晚餐What areyou twolovebirds doingtonight我上礼拜去过了Weve gotdinner reservationsat Cloche.蟹肉很难吃服务很差I was there lastweek.或许你们应该到巴斯克餐厅Disappointing craband thehost wasrude.好的Maybe youshould go to CotesBasque instead.夏洛特惊讶于邦妮的小技巧Alrighty.崔已经期待了一个礼拜到克罗许吃晚餐Charlotte wasimpressed withBunnys technique.与此同时在市中心Trey hadbeen lookingforward toCloche allweek.莎曼珊正在取悦电影剪接师亚当巴尔Meanwhile,downtown,他靠着剪接精彩片段赚得可观收入Samantha wasentertaining AdamBall,a filmeditor whomade avery lucrativeliving快来了cutting thecoming attractionsfor filmcompanies.快出来了Im coming...老天Im coming.你很会口交Oh,man.hearts;hearts;我约会对象的精液难闻到不行Oh,you givegood head.hearts;hearts;她不会回来了Im datinga guywith thefunkiest tasting spunk.不好意思了我还能跟谁说?And shesnever comingback.或许都不要说Well,Im sorry,but whoelse can I talkto aboutthis你们是我们的朋友帮帮我Might Isuggest noone你们有过这样的困扰吗?Youre mygirlfriends,help me.没有不过我承认Have youever hadthis problem那种滋味绝不好受Not really,but I have to admit,这个男人的味道很酸its neverexactly beena tripto BaskinRobbins.好像芦笋坏掉的味道Well,this guyis verysour.可以取消我的米布丁吗?Like,asparagus gonebad or something.很帅的男人床上功夫惊人却又令人扫兴Can I cancel myrice puddingThanks.好像是品尝一瓶坏掉的红酒Beautiful guy,great inbed,its sodisappointing.应该跟营养有关Its likegettingabad bottleof BeaujolaisNouveau thefirst day of season.抽烟的人味道也会改变It hasa lotto dowith nutrition.烟盒应该印上这个标语I oncedated asmoker andit affectedhow histasted.或许他可以吃些什么改变味道They shouldput thaton theside ofthe packif theywant tocut backsales.你应该写信给玛莎Maybe theres something hecan eatto makeit sweeter亲爱的玛莎救救怪味精液Maybe youshould writeto MarthaStewart.hearts;hearts;亲爱的怪味精液试试看微量的薄荷Dear Martha,Funky Spunk.Help/hearts;hearts;不只是芦笋味Dear FunkySpunk,try ahint ofmint.还有些别的No,no,its notjust asparagus.我知道还有高乐土清洁剂Ifs asparagusand somethingelse.至少会让你的白带更白I know,Clorox!这很严重我差点噎死Well,at leastyoull get your whiteswhiter.-这很严重•我该怎么办?This isserious,I almostgagged.不要再帮他口交了-Oh,well,that isserious.-What amI going to dohearts;hearts;我倒是没有想过Just dontgive him head again.你觉得无所谓?Hmm.I nevereven thoughtof that.1没关系他很健康我也不吞下去So,what,casual headis backnow要是你跟疾病管制中心都觉得无所谓的话Oh,its fine.He*s healthyand I dont swallow.他喜欢口交哪个男人不喜欢?Well,as longas you and theCenter forDisease Controlare fine with it.hearts;hearts;要是精液是女人的Of course,he justloves gettinghead.But then,what mandoesnthearts;hearts;男人会愿意接近吗?You know,if thewhole cumsituation werereversed,或许吧如果滋味像啤酒的话do youthink thatmen wouldeven getanywhere nearthe stuff稍晚米兰达回家发现Welt maybe...if ittasted likebeer.更令人难以下咽的事Later thatday,Miranda camehome tosomething你有一通新留言that waseven harderto swallow.史蒂夫吗?我是玛拉You haveone newmessage.我们昨晚见过面Hi,if this is Stevesnumber...this isMira.我是点啤酒的广告公司主管We metlast night.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;史蒂夫听到的话回我电Im theadvertising execwho orderedthe AmstelLight.我很乐意跟你去看电影Steve,if this is you,call me.今天中午十二点二十二分Fd loveto go to a movie sometime.在城市另一头的答录机上Today,12:22p.m.你有一通新留言And on an answeringmachine acrosstown...是我You haveone newmessage.我需要跟你谈谈我之前说过的事Hi,its me.这很重要打给我I need to talkto youabout what I saidthe other day.你知道我手机号码Its important,please call.hearts;hearts;hearts;我的右脑告诉我将它删掉You knowmy cellnumber.不过我留下来了The rightside of my braintold metherightthing wasto deleteit.这很重要打给我你知道我手机号码But Ileft it.hearts;hearts;hearts;Its important,please call.You knowmy cellnumber.在播放了七次之后我请来公正的法官・怎么样?•你应该揍他Seven playbackslater,I invitedover animpartial judge.他想要复合对不对?-Well-You shouldhave punchedhim.他说话的音调He wantsto getback together,right那个“你好”和“很重要”I mean,thats thetone.就是这个n意思对吧The Hiand thenthe Itsimportant.凯莉我们永远不会知道Is thatwhat thatmeans就像是谁杀了肯尼迪Carrie,we couldanalyze this for yearsand neverknow.我应该怎么做?I mean,they stilldont knowwho killedKennedy.你想要怎么做很明显Well,what shouldI do要不然你也不会听七次Well,ifs prettyobvious whatyou want to do顺带一提理智的你跑哪里去了?oryouwouldnt stillbe listeningto thismessage.我不知道And bythe way,what happenedto thenot insane“part ofyour放了五次后我的心就动摇了I dont know.・我讨厌答录机-没错After thefifth playbackhe gotina little.我也讨厌我的-God,I hatemy machine.-Yeah.有个女主管留言给史蒂夫说I hatemine too.她很想跟他出去约会Steve gota messagefrom somegirl executive真的?他还睡在你家呢desperate forhimtogotoamovie.我知道真不可思议Already Hesstill onyour couch.没有钱没有住处的三十四岁老男人I know,its amazing.因为单身就很抢手A34-year-old guywith nomoney andno placeto live,有工作有房子的三十四岁老女人because hessingle,hes acatch.hearts;因为单身所以可悲But a34-year-old womanwith a job and a greathome,真令人沮丧because shessingle,is consideredtragic.我们再听一次留言So depressing.我就把它删掉Lets listen to thatmessage again.不过没有这么简单Im deletingit.米兰达一走But it wasnt thatsimple.我的情感就掩没我的左右脑哪位?As soonas Miranda left,I stoodand watchedmy emotionsoverrule bothsides ofmy brain.我是凯莉Hello你好谢谢你打来Its Carrie.我之前说我打算离婚Oh,hey.Yeah,thanks forcalling.我不知道我为什么打电话Look,its aboutwhat I said aboutgetting out ofmymarriage...我甚至不知道我想要什么hearts;hearts;不过我的心狂跳不止I didnt know why I called,I didnteven knowwhat I really wanted,我仔细思考过but suddenlymyheartwas racing.赡养费将很可观I thoughtabout it.当我没说过好了And itsgoing tocost mea lot.So,maybe youshould forgetaboutwhatIsaid.我自己闯的祸自己负责没错I mean...I figureI mademy bed,I shouldlie in it.我需要的就是这个You do that.把我拉回现实的冲击It wasjust whatI needed,你有裂缝a bigshock treatmentto joltme rightback tosanity.你说什么?You havecracks.天花板Excuse me出现多久了?The ceiling.三年而已How longthey beenthere三年还而已?Just threeyears.不要误会Oh,just threeyears不过你这里需要整修Dont takethis thewrong way,我知道但我负担不起but thisplace coulduse a little work.你有价值八千块的鞋I know,but I cant affordit.那是我需要的Youve got8,000bucks worthof shoesover there.可以做些小工程I neededthose.上灰泥重铺地板You coulddo littlethings.你不知道小小整修后会多漂亮Plaster,strip thefloors.我不知道怎么做You have no ideahow beautifulitd beif we...took itdown alevel.I dontknow howto do that stuff.我知道让我帮你铺地板I do.这个工程不是很浩大吗?Let mestrip yourfloors.不会Isnt thata lotof work只要一天你根本不会知道我在工作Nah.确定吗?真的吗?Itll justtake aday.You wonteven knowIm here.特别的女孩需要特别的房子You sureReallyhearts;我身边的男人想让我的家更美好A speciallady needsa specialhome.而远处那人却想破坏这一切Here inmy armswas aguy whowanted tomake myhome better,这不是使用左脑右脑的问题and somewhereout there was aguy whowanted topull itapart.这根本就是有没有大脑It wasntaleftor rightbrainer.我们为什么要到这里来?It wasa nobrainer.我要吃得健康一点Tell mewhy werehere again在搜寻过健康精液网站之后Im makingan effortto eatbetter.hearts;hearts;莎曼珊邀亚当吃晚餐After aquick browseon thehealthysperm.com webpage,这是你们的麦芽草汁Samantha invitedAdam ballto dinner.我马上拿菜单过来Here areyour wheatgrassshots.我不想喝And rilbe rightback withmenus.喝喝看这对你很好I cantdrink that.干杯Oh,try it.Its verygood foryou.这玩意味道真奇怪Bottoms up.莎曼珊很想告诉亚当Oh,man,that shit is funky.什么味道才真的奇怪Samantha hadto fightevery urgeshe had麦芽草汁要多久奏效?not to tell AdamBall he didntknowfrom funky.很难说・・・How longdoes ittake forthe wheatgrasstoworkits wayinto yoursystem大约估计一下?Ah,hard to say...一个半小时Ballpark我们来点餐吧An hourand ahalf.一个半小时后吃完了麦芽草汁和甜瓜Oh...We shouldorder.我要出来了An hourand ahalf,two wheatgrassshots,and aginger melonsmoothie later...我要出来了Im coming...Ah,Im coming...不过我已经有中意的了Im coming!很好I gota leadon onethough.你能不能…算了Okay.什么事?Hey,do you...Never mind.我本来要邀你跟我一起去看房子What但那有点奇怪对吧?hearts;hearts;hearts;I wasgonna askifyouwant togo andlook atit withme,我不知道应该是没问题的but thats…Thats weird,right真的吗?I dontknow.I guesswe coulddothat.当你终于找到地方住了Yeah你还得要买一堆家具And whenyou finallydo findthat placeto move,hearts;hearts;所以聪明的纽约人you needto fillit withfurniture.三不五时就举办新设计家具展Thats whyso manysmart NewYorkers frequent我好像你的道具管理员the openingdayofthe new designers showcase.hearts;hearts;hearts;我没有什么道具Hey.Im likeyour roadie.我只有这个摊位Oh,I don*t have a road...充其量你只是我的摊位小妹I justhave thisbooth.;对你的摊位小妹So atbest,youre mybooth bitch.我帮你的木制家具上蜡Yeah,Im yourbooth bitch.你挺会上蜡的I waxyour wood.因为我是你的摊位小妹You waxit realgood.好好看着摊位That*s causeIm yourbooth bitch.老天你真棒宝贝Oh,man,man,man...You givegood head.怎么了?不喜欢你的沙拉?Oh,baby.不喜欢沙拉酱有一点怪…What Youdont likeyour salad-抱歉-请说No,the dressingsa tad...something.我想换芦荟和葛苣-Excuse me.-Yes,sirFd liketo changethisforthe arugulaand endive,please.没问题你应该试试番茄罗勒比较甜美Certainly.好吧Maybe youshould trythe tomatobasil,its sweeter.妈妈很喜欢你Alrighty..真的吗?.为什么会不喜欢?你很完美I have tosay,mum isquite takenwith you.就像从梦境中走出来的-She is-Why wouldntshe beYoure exquisite.夏洛特知道这一刻就要来临You reallyare adream cometrue.这奇妙的一刻崔就要向她求婚了Charlotte knewthis wasthe moment.夏洛特That magicmoment whereTrey wasgoing toask herto behis wife.什么事?Charlotte番茄罗勒?Yes是的Tomato andbasil请享用Yes.这看起来真美味Enjoy.罗勒真是完美Doesnt thislook likealittleplate ofheaven夏洛特你怎么办到的?This basilis perfection.总是知道我要的是什么What isit aboutyou,Charlotte或许我们应该结婚You alwaysseem toknow justwhatIwant.好的Maybe we should get married.我订婚了Alrighty.老天真的吗?Im engaged.太棒了亲爰的Oh,my God!Really我跟我自己求婚Oh,that*s wonderful,sweetie.•什么-没错I proposedto myself.我建议他吃番茄沙拉-What-Yes.然后建议我们结婚I suggestedhe havea tomatosalad,等下他说什么?then Isuggested wegetmarried.〃好的〃Wait,what exactlydid he say他说“好的”Alrighty.你向一个说“好的”的男人求婚Alrighty He said alrighty才是令人沮丧Now Imthinking theupsetting thingisnt thatyou proposed,-不要再说了■好的its thatyou proposedtoaguy whosays alrighty.”我应该是说好的那一个-Oh,Carrie,stop.-Alrighty.谁在乎那些无谓的规则?I wasthe onewho wassupposed tosay yes!我在乎Oh,who caresabout thosestupid rules你反应过度了Ido!你爱崔对不对?Look,youre overreacting.你想要嫁给他对吧?You loveTrey,right但是…他没有跪下来And youwanttomarry him,right没有戒指什么都没有Yes,but...there wasno kneeling,这真是一个糟透了的求婚故事therewasno ring,no nothing.我要怎么告诉我的小孩?This isan awfulengagement story.妈妈想结婚然后爸爸说“好的〃What amI supposedto tellmy kids;真是不浪漫Well mommyreally wantedto getmarried,so daddysaid,Alrighty.史蒂夫?你的狗It*ssounromantic.史蒂夫现在是凌晨四点Steve Thedog!米兰达知道他跟女主管在一起Steve,its4:00a.m.!他们之间正式结束了Miranda realizedhe waswith thegirl executive.她终于领悟到这一点It wasofficially over.•早安•早安She finallygot itinto herhead.我带狗散过步了-Morning.Morning.谢谢我…I tookthe dogout already.咖啡在这里我帮你在乡村之声Thanks,um,I was...找了几间不错的公寓Theres coffeeand Icircled abunch ofapartmentshearts;hearts;我今天应该会搬出去in TheVillage Voicethat soundgood.谢谢你让我睡在沙发上I shouldprobably getout of here today,um...不客气Thanks forletting mesleep onyour couch.我们处理得很好Youre welcome.I thinkwe didpretty good.我为我们感到骄傲史蒂夫…We didus proud.没什么Steve...什么事?Never mind.我本来要说“保持联络〃What不过太奇怪了对吧I wasgonna saykeep intouch,太奇怪了but thatsweird,right我想我们可以的That wouldbe weird.-f-F乂登I guesswe coulddothat.你说我不会被打扰Aidan!但我确实被打扰了You said I wouldntbe bothered...太大声了吗?Pm...fm bothered.对我在赶稿It*s tooloud快到截止时间了Yeah,and I cant workthrough that.拿着钥匙到我家去Ive gota deadline.不我在那里无法写作皮特会在我身边Take mykeys,gotomy house.跳来跳去No,no,I cantwrite there,*cause Petesjumping allover me,我要走了如果有人找he*s deletingthings.说我在史坦霍普饭店You knowwhat,Im leaving.If anyonecalls,至少让我付钱Ill beat theStanhope hotelaround thecorner.不用了我来就好At leastlet mepay forit.我不整修家里就是这个原因No,no,no.I gotit,I gotit.很多预期之外的费用See,this iswhyI dont dohome repairs.你会喜欢这个地板的Unforeseen costs.妈妈擅作主张Youre goingto lovethese floors!她要你的地址以便送你花Mum wasbeside herself.很贴心She immediatelydemanded youraddress soshe couldsend flowers.夏洛特完成不可能的任务Thats nice.她跟心上人订了婚Charlotte haddone theimpossible inNewYork.不幸的是她却忘不了求婚的经过She wasengaged to her heartsdesire.等一下Unfortunately,she couldntget theway ithappened outofherhead.我想我们应该在这里停留一会儿Wait.我们应该进去I thinkweshouldstop herefor aminute.帮你挑个漂亮的戒指Maybe weshould goin there好的and findyou themost beautifulring that they have.从那一刻开始夏洛特可以昭告天下Alrighty!就在蒂芬妮前面From thatmoment on,Charlotte wouldtell everyone,崔提出了那个问题然后她说that rightin frontof Tiffanys,outofnowhere,“好的”Trey poppedthe questionand shesaid,我…我今晚不想这样Alrighty.别这样宝贝你最棒了Fm...Im not really in the moodfor that tonight.;不可能的Oh,come on,baby yougive thegreatest head,please.为什么?有什么问题吗?Not gonnahappen.亚当是这样的…Whats theproblem你的精液有怪味Well,Adam...hearts;hearts;什么?Youve gotsome funkytastingspunk.你听到「你的精液有怪味Whathearts;hearts;我的“精液You heardme.Your spunkis funky.hearts;hearts;精液精子快乐汁水的“精液有怪味My spunkjizz,hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;”我听过千奇百怪不口交的借口Cum,spooge,joy juice.Fun-ky.hearts;hearts;这一个最奇怪Man,I haveheard somefar outexcuses fornot giving head,你说什么?but thisone takesthe cake.你真是“吊人胃口”Excuse me你把正片没有的口交镜头Youre oneof themtwo blowjob chicks.hearts;hearts;放在预告片中You putblow jobsinthecoming attractions我也不喜欢这样that Imnever gonnasee inthe actualmovie.我喜欢口交I resentthat!hearts;hearts;那就快点就位I lovegivinghead.上上下下来回几趟就成了Well,then comeon,give mealittleB.J.-这很简单•简单?Up and down acouple times,youre done.你们男人不知道我们的辛苦■Its easy.Easy牙齿要放对位下颗紧绷You menhavenoidea whatwere dealingwith downthere.吸吮和快窒息的感觉Teeth placementand jawstress在上上下下之际and suctionand gagreflex.还要一边呻吟呼吸And allthe whilebobbing upanddown,hearts;hearts;简单吗?亲爱的moaning andtrying tobreathe throughour noses.这不是你想的那么容易Easy Honey!说了这么多They dontcall itajobfor nothing.你这么正点的男人Now,having saidall that...精液却有一股with theright man,it canbe fabulous.hearts;hearts;像烂鸡蛋般的怪味That is,unless theman inquestion hasspunk拜托没那么糟吧thats likea tripto therotten eggbuffet.我跟你打个商量Come on,it cantbe that bad.你试吃看看Ill makea dealwith you.要是你无所谓You tryit.我也无所谓If yourefine with it,我办不到PH befinewithit.-同性恋才这么做■如果是你自己的就不算Ican*tdothat.f要不要随便你-Its gay.-It snot gayif itsyou.十分钟后莎曼珊见识到Take itor leaveit.男人有多喜欢口交Ten minuteslater,Samantha learnedhearts;hearts;我可以接受just howfar aman wouldgo fora blowjob.莎曼珊信守承诺Fm finewithit.她帮他口交却一点都不享受Samantha kepther word.hearts;hearts;・哪位?•是我She gavehimhead...but herheart wasntinit.我在大厅-Hello.Its me.你怎么知道我在这里?Im inthe lobby.在你公寓那个家伙…How didyou knowI washerehearts;hearts;你又打电话去我家?That guyat yourplace.hearts;hearts;我得跟你谈谈You calledmy houseagain我也得跟你谈谈I haveto talkto you.待在大厅我马上下去Yeah,I haveto talkto youtoo.该死Stay inthe lobby,Til beright down.这不是大厅Shit!坐下喝一杯This isnot thelobby.你这是做什么?打电话到我家Sit down,haveadrink.hearts;hearts;跟踪我到饭店?What areyou doingYou*re calling my house...你能不能坐下来听我说?You followme tohotels给我一分钟就好Could youplease sitdown...for one minute andlistentomePlease,oneminute.我没有时间我有男朋友还要赶稿You know,I donthave timefor this,而你有老婆还有酗酒问题I havea boyfriendandadeadline.・我没有醉・那你有什么借口?And youhaveawife andapparently adrinking problem.不要急我无法思考-Im notdrunk.-Then what is yourexcuse前几天我在电话里很过分Will youslow downIcantthink.hearts;hearts;没错I wasan assholeto youon thephone theotherday.当我说我要离开你却无动于衷Yes.我很紧张所以…When IsaidI was leavingyou didntsay anything,什么?so Igot nervous,so I...所以・・・So,what・我不知道■你知道不能这样下去了So...你不能再对我调情耍得我团团转-I dontknow!-You know,this hasto stop!打电话给我男朋友This...the flirtingand thejerking mearoundhearts;hearts;他不知道你是谁我不想告诉他and thecallingmy boyfriend.为什么?He doesntknow aboutyouandI dontwant himto everknow aboutyou.回家睡在你的米色床上去吧Why isthat凯莉等一下Oh,go layin yourbeige bed.我是来做进一步解释的Carrie,wait,wait!等一下听我说I haventexplained thisvery well.Now,wait aminute.Listen.事实是…该死我想你The thingis...太迟了Fuck,I missyou!不要进来不要跟着我Too bad.・我得跟你谈谈•谈什么?Do notcome inhere!Dont followme inhere!有什么好谈的?-I haveto talkto you.-What,whatisit我错了What isit youhavetosay去你的I madea mistake.我爱你Fuck you.去你的I loveyou.我的心呐喊着我有多愤怒Fuck you.但是我的心却…My mindwas yellinghow angryIwas,跟我上床but myheart...My heart.hearts;hearts;就这样我失去了理智Fuck me.And justlike that,I lostmy head.我去买咖啡You watchthe booth.hearts;hearts;遵命我是你的摊位小妹Im gonnago getus somecoffee.这样说好性感Whatever yousay...rm yourbooth bitch.我喜欢Oh,that*s sexy.不需要评审委员会来决定And Ilike it.他在我心中是最棒的设计师I didntneedtowait fora blueribbon panelto decide.我总是幻想与前男友伉俪偶遇He wasthe finestnewdesignerinthewhole damnplace.不过情节是我开卡车撞上他们I hadoften fantasizedabout runninginto myex andhis wife,你怎么会喜欢这种笨重的木头but inthose fantasies...!was runninginto themwith atruck.好有压迫感I dontknow howyou couldlike thisclunky wood.hearts;hearts;这是怎么回事?It*s almostoppressive.你好我在这里工作What thefuck不是真的工作Hi.Tm workinghere.这是我男朋友的摊位Well,I mean,Im notworking...我是他的摊位小妹Just,this ismy boyfriendsbooth.那是玩笑话Im hisbooth bitch.内行人才会懂Thats ajoke.我懂I guessits anin joke.我能为你们介绍吗?I getit.So,canI,um,show yousomething ina hutch他的作品很棒不过不合我们的风格当然我们只喜欢小不拉叽的家具His piecesare fantastic,its justnotreallyour style.这位就是设计师艾登萧Oh.Yeah,we onlylike teenytiny furniture.东西很棒Hey,this is,um,this isthe designer,this is Aidan Shaw.谢谢Hey,great stuff.・橡木?■大部分是枫树Aw,thanks,man.当时真的是尴尬异常-Oak-Actually,its mostly maple.抱歉我不知道你的名字There wewere,mostlymapleand incrediblyuncomfortable.抱歉Sorry,Ididntgetyournames.他们是我的朋友Oh!Im sorry.这是娜塔莎这是…These are...are myfriends.糟了This is,uh,Natasha andthisis...我的天我很抱歉很烫吗?Oh,shit!不冷就是了Oh,my God,Tm sorry.Is thathot■我帮你-不用我来…-Well,it aintcold.-God...应该倒一点冷水-Here.-No,Ill,ril...很高兴认识你们We shouldput somecold wateron this.谢谢你的咖啡It wasnice meetingyou.他们挺友善的Thanks forthe coffee.可不是?They seemnice.你怎么认识他们的?Yeah,dont they朋友介绍Where doyou knowthem from好久以前了Oh...You know,from around.前辈子的事了Like100years ago...两个小时后开幕派对开始Its apast life.很温馨的派对Two hourslater,it wastimeforthe openingday party.有鱼子酱拍卖会和地雷It waslovely.hearts;hearts;伐树巨人在哪里?Caviar,silent auctions,and landmines.要是你指的是我男朋友Where*s PaulBunyan他在做生意If yourereferring tomyboyfriend...他真是有头有脸hes doingbusiness.他在哪里学会刻木头的?Ooh,hes abig un.r你喝了多少酒?Where dhe learnto whittlelike that算不上多How manydrinks haveyou had所以…你好吗?Not nearlyenough.我很好So...How areyou拓荒者布恩对你好吗?Im great.他叫做艾登And DanielBoone,is hea niceguy你的幽默感哪里去了?His nameisAidan.你妻子哪里去了?Wheres yoursense ofhumor她在拍卖会上竞标Wheres yourwifehearts;hearts;她看中一张米色的椅子Guarding herbid onthe silentauction.现在我家里所有东西都是米色的Shes gother eyeonabeige chair.米色烂透了Everything inmy apartmentis nowbeige.我以为你想要米色Beige...is bullshit.对结果…很不搭I thoughtyou wantedbeige.有没有烟?Yeah,well...it doesntquite...fit.我戒了Have yougotasmoke我们以前总是一起抽一根烟I quit.我们一起做过很多对我无益的事We alwaysused toshare acigarette together.我要告诉你一个秘密We dida lotof thingsthat werebad forme together.我的婚姻不美满I havea secrettotellyou.我要抽身了It*snotworking.要是你知道谁有兴趣.・.Im gettingout.你自己知道就好If youknow anyonewhos interested.没有人有兴趣You shouldreally keepthat toyourself.大人物要离婚了No oneis interestedin thatinformation.不会吧Bigs leaving his wife!他在家具展上喝多之后告诉我的-Oh,my God!-No!他去那里做什么?He gotdrunk andtold meat thefurniture show.喝酒离开他老婆What washe doingatthefurniture show我的天Drinking andleavinghiswife.姑且说你赢了Oh,my God!这是个竞争吗?Well,lets justsay it,you won.拜托…跟前任情人之间总是有竞争Was therea contest叫做“看谁死得凄惨”Oh,please...Theres alwaysa contestwith anex.他说了什么,,?,Its called,Wholl diemiserable他说“婚姻不美满〃What didhe say然后他就靠过来说Hesaid,Its notworking out.“要是你知道谁有兴趣〃And thenhe leanedinandsaid,没有人有兴趣1If youknow anyonewhos interested/他已经结婚了凯莉他已经结婚了Well,youdontknow anyonewhos interested.夏洛特我当然知道Hes married,Carrie.Carrie,hes married.他为什么要告诉你?Charlotte,I thinkIm awareof thatfact.我不知道这样就不用寄信说了?Why ishe tellingyou•你要怎么做?•什么都不做Idontknow,to savepostage onhis newsletter她才不会理他-What areyou gonna do-Im notgonna doanything.你们让我开始烦躁了Shes notgonnadoanything.他怎么敢那样对你说话?Okay,you needto takeabigbreath*cause yourestarting tobug me.已婚的男人是不会离开老婆的How darehesaythattoyou.就算他离开她我也不会有所行动Married mennever leavetheir wives.两个原因第一我有个很棒的男朋友Even ifhedid,I haveno intentionof doinganything第二我没发疯for tworeasons.First,Ihavea greatboyfriend我们来点餐吧and second,Tm notinsane.赢家要点什么?So,lets order.你不会想揍他一顿吗?What dowinners order不那太可悲了Didnt youfeel likepunching him换做是我一定会No,itwastoo sadorsomething.不那太可悲了I wouldhave punchedhim.他结婚多久了?七个月?No,itissad.七个月就痒了How longhas hebeen marriedWhat,seven months太快投入一段感情的下场Hmm.The sevenmonth itch.我讨厌那样Well,thats whathappens whenpeople jumpinto relationshipstoo quickly.我跟崔完全不像他们I resentthat.不要听她的她快分手了Trey andI arenothing like Big andNatasha.谢谢你提供最新情报Dont listentoher,shes mid-breakup.不像是和大人物崔和我是真心相爱的Thanks forthe update.谁要跟我合点鲁宾三明治?Were notlikeBig.Trey andIreallylove eachother.实际上我这礼拜要跟他妈妈见面Who wantsto splita Reuben要是一切顺利的话…In fact,Im meetinghis motherthis week要是一切顺利的话?and ifall goes well...崔就快要跟我求婚了If allgoeswell,what-我可以感觉到-我的天真的吗?Trey isthis closeto proposing.你们才认识不久你们认识的时间比我的裤袜还短-Icanfeel it.-Oh,my God,reallyhearts;hearts;米兰达这不能以逻辑断定这是爱You justmet.Tve hadpairs ofpantyhose longer.这不是个逻辑问题这是对的感觉Miranda,its notlogical,thisislove.我的内心深处感觉是对的Its notlogical,its right.好吧随便你In myheart,I feelits right.怎么样?Okay,whatever.好的…我租了So...How didhe look在米兰达看过地下室公寓之后Okay...ril takeit.hearts;hearts;她了解到没有所谓的竞争As Mirandalooked aroundthe basementapartment,史蒂夫将是“死得凄惨”那一个she realizedthe contestwas over.你不能住在这里Steve wasthe exthat wasgoingtodie aloneand miserable.没那么糟糕You cantlive here.没那么糟糕?Ifs notthat bad.Its notthatbad这简直是通往地狱之门一定有更好的地方我帮你找It*sthedoorway tohell.罪恶感?Theres gotto bea betterplace.Ill helpyou look.或许吧Guilt我跟他分手Probably.他没有钱没有存款一无所有I mean,I brokeup withhim.纽约市应该要成立分手之家And hesgot nomoney,no savings,no nothing.给那些有需要的人There shouldbe somesort ofcity fundedbreak-up housing。