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欲望城市(性爰专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问)“十万火急”hearts;hearts;纽约客的每一天必须面对许多令人不快的事In thelife of a New Yorker,比如皮包被偷there areseveral unpleasantthings onewill inevitablyhave toface.不小心看到别人随地大小便Having yourpurse stolen.或是在百老汇歌舞剧中看到男同性恋友人的男朋友Random publicurination.hearts;And seeinga gayfriends boyfriendin aBroadway review.我知道最低消费额是三杯And allthat jazz你不喜欢这出戏吗?I thinkI understand the threedrink minimumnow.Youre notenjoying the review坦白的说我比较担心我的纽约时报书评And allthat jazzhearts;hearts hearts;hearts;Frankly我的天你的书这星期要做书评Im moreconcerned about my ownreview inThe Times.你一定很兴奋Oh my God,right,your book*s reviewedthis week.应该说害怕才对蜜奇可卡库塔妮You mustbe soexcited.她是纽约时报的书评More liketerrified.Michiko Kakutani.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;1我还以为那是开胃菜的名称Shes TheTimes bookcritic.她既聪明又难缠Oh,I thoughtyou weresuggesting anappetizer.连名字都很难念Shes brilliantand shesreally tough.And impossibleto pronounce.我想我们可以回家了For all...Uh-oh,I thinktheyre bringinus home.你怎么会不喜欢这出戏?看我的男朋友That...我能再跟你谈谈吗?How couldyou notlove thisLook atmy boyfriend.别说出她的名字So can I obsessfor anotherminute那会把我逼疯Just dontsay her name again.书里有些男人Itll pushme overthe edge.或许是垃圾但她的说法Some of the menin thebook让大家以为我把我生命里所有男人当垃圾are maybe a littledisposable,but...this makesit sound什么?你怎么不说话?like I think men are disposablein life.抱歉我刚刚睡着了What Whatswith thepause这件事光想起来就觉得很可怕Im sorry,I fellasleep for a second.我的天所以她才会摆出那种表情Thats aterrible thingto thinkabout me.你认为艾登觉得我把他当垃圾看待吗?Oh,my God!Thats what the facemeant.凯莉你没有抛弃艾登Do you think that Aidan thinksthat I think he was disposable早安Carrie,you didnot throwAidan away.那个女孩认为我抛弃了艾登-Good morning.-Shh...他一定跟她说了什么Well,that girlthinks Idid.不然她怎么会那么想呢?He mustvesaid somethinglike thatto her.史蒂夫跟艾登走得很近Where elsewould sheget it史蒂夫说过什么吗?Steve andAidan areclose,has Steveever saidanything to you他恨我吗?凯莉你在胡思乱想Does Stevehate menow史蒂夫不恨你Carrie,youre spinning.为什么我再没见过他了?Steve doesnthate you.因为我不想让他接近我Then how come Inever see him anymore.我一见到他…You neversee himbecause I have to keep himaway就想请他娶我要他来帮我忙because...If Iseehimnow我一直很在乎艾登的感觉你一定要告诉史蒂夫ril ask him tomarry mejust togive mesome help.I workedvery hardat takingcare ofAidans feelings.如果艾登跟史蒂夫说…Will youmention thatto Steve凯莉你知道吗?Because ifAidan toldSteve that I...或许你该打电话给莎曼珊Carrie,you know what她有的是时间跟你谈这种事hearts;hearts;Maybe you should callyour girlfriend,Samantha.我知道这是我的问题.・・She has all kindsof time to talk about this kind of stuff.我很嫉妒她有那么多闲工夫Look,I knowits me...真希望她能够了解到And Imjealous ofher freetime and all.我现在有孩子了・・・But ifshe couldmaybe justonce acknowledgethe fact我跟邻居疏远还不够that Ivehad a baby...现在我跟朋友也很疏远Its notenough Ivealienated myneighbor.你没有跟任何人疏远Now Im alienating my friends.去跟四楼说吧Youre notalienating anyone.Tell thatto4-D.她真的很生气我不知道她叫什么名字你认识你的邻居吗?Shes pissedoff I dont knowhername.拜托Do you know yourneighbors*names我是个恶邻居跟坏妈妈Please.才不是你做得很好Ima bad neighbor andabad mother.是1Thats nottrue,youre doingreat.你只是这星期过得不顺Yeah,right.有什么需要我帮忙的吗?Youre justhaving abad week.你的关心就帮了我很大的忙Can Ido anythingto help我要迟到了我要挂电话了That helps.Just asking.hearts;hearts;关于书评的事恭喜你了Im late,I gottago.谢谢Congratulations on thereview.为什么我们只相信别人对我们说的Yeah.那些坏话?Why isit thatwe onlyseem to believe thenegative things不论有多少的证据证明他们的话是错的people sayabout us不论是邻居路人No matterhow muchevidence thereis to the contrary.或是前男友都能抹杀掉A neighbor,a face,我们相信的一切an ex-boyfriend cancancel out说到生活跟爱everything wethought wasonce true.为什么我们都相信最糟糕的那一面?Odd,but whenit comesto lifeand love,在法院渡过漫长的一天后米兰达还要面对另一个陪审团why dowe believeour worstreviewshearts;hearts别哭After along dayin court,Miranda facedanother jury.在城市面包坊Dont cry,don*t cry.莎曼珊跟我在评论甜点And atCity Bakery,真好吃Samantha and I werereviewing thedesserts.如果你愿意帮我忙我请你吃甜点Mm-mm,delish.我这星期不吃甜点Hey,Ill buy you dessertif you do somethingfor me.拜托了全纽约最棒的布朗尼蛋糕Im noteating dessertsthis week.混蛋Oh,come on,best browniesin New York.hearts;hearts;我要一块布朗尼蛋糕Bastard.你想要什么?Fil takea brownie.我想谈米兰达跟宝宝的事What do you needme todo我不要布朗尼蛋糕It*s about Miranda andthe baby.不她会要的Forget the brownie.我对宝宝的事不拿手No.Shell takethebrownie.这个宝宝似乎是个混蛋Babies are not myscene.你不能骂宝宝是混hearts;hearts;蛋And fromwhat Iveheard,this onesounds likean asshole.hearts;hearts;You can*t calla babyan asshole.为什么她叫他烤肉饼Why notShe calledit ameatloaf.我想支持一下米兰达要不了我们的命I dontthink itwould killall of us好吧to bea littlemore supportive.他念大学时我会带他出去喝一杯Oh,alright.跟他的朋友们打情骂俏When hesin college,Ill take him for a drink你明天该过去跟她问候and Illflirt withhis friends.Hows that“听说你生孩子还好吧?”Maybe youcould juststop bytomorrow凯莉我没时间我整天的行程排得满满的Hand say,I hearyou hada baby,hows thatgoin我跟发型设计师约好了Carrie,I haveno time,Im bookedall day.还要去退还按摩棒I havemy hairappointmenthearts;hearts;hearts;弄头发跟按摩棒and Imreturning a vibrator beforethat.hearts;hearts;hearts;对这就是我的生活我不必为此辩解Hair anda vibrator.我讨厌人一旦有孩子Yes.That ismy lifeand I dont have to justifyit.就期待你变得跟诺曼罗克韦尔I hateit whenpeople havebabies画中人物一样and theysuddenly expectyou toturn intosome kind of米兰达不是别人Norman Rockwellpainting.她是我们的朋友她快疯了Were nottalking aboutpeople.米兰达喜欢威尼斯?Were talkingabout ourfriend,and shessinking.一共是十四块两角What,so Mirandaslike VeniceThafllbe$
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20.布朗尼蛋糕算她的凯莉Shes payingfor thebrownie.你也来了茱丽雅Carrie这位是我朋友莎曼珊Oh,hey.Julia,hi!茱丽雅亚佛顿我们是时尚杂志的同事Oh,um...This ismyfriend,Samantha.hearts;hearts;她一个月只进办公室一次This isJulia Afton,we worktogether atVogue.我要跟安娜温托周旋到底我的朋友-Hi.-Hi.Hardly...She getsto runin andout oncea month妮娜来了hearts;hearts;while Imchained to the hemof AnnaWintour.我在这里Oh,theres myfriend,Nina!你也该到了Im here.抱歉我迟到了It is about time.凯莉你好Hey,sorry Imlate.我又跟那个给我脸色看的女人面对面Carrie,hi.你们怎么会认识?There I was...Face toface withthe facegirl.吃完午餐后我再告诉你And howdo youtwo knoweach other妮娜凯兹?你好莎曼珊琼斯Ell tell you overlunch.很高兴能再见到你Nina KatzHi.Samantha Jones.我们可以吃饭了吗?Oh,hi.Nice tosee youagain.我快饿死了Um,can weeatI amstarvation central.再见再见凯莉Okey-dokey.See ya.你怎么会认识妮娜凯兹?Bye,Carrie.大家都认识她How do you knowNina Katz她是周末夜现场”的节目制作Everybody knowsNina Katz.hearts;hearts;就是她给我脸色看Shes thebooker forSaturday NightLive.■不是-就是Well,shes alsothe facegirl.妮娜凯兹是…-No!-Yes.没错Nina Katz is the...太棒了她会告诉全时尚杂志的人Exactly.hearts;hearts;更别提〃周末夜现场〃妮娜凯兹是个大嘴巴Oh,great,that facellbe all over Vogue.一共是十五块三角Not to mention SNL.Nina Katzloves to talk.我也要吃块布朗尼蛋糕-$
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1...隔天Im goingto needa bigbrownie aswell.So...莎曼珊自己一个人去血拼The nextday,一件很私人的东西Samantha didsome personalshopping..有什么需要我效劳的吗?•是的Very personal.这个按摩棒要退货-Can Ihelp you-Yes.hearts;hearts;hearts;我们不卖按摩棒Id liketo returnthis vibrator.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;不对我六个月前在这里买了它We dontsell vibrators.hearts;hearts;那不是按摩棒那是电动颈部按摩器Yes,youdo,I boughtit heresix monthsago.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;不它是按摩棒Thats notavibrator.Its aneck massager.hearts;hearts;hearts;锐影电器不卖按摩棒No,its avibrator.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;那是电动颈部按摩器Sharper Imagedoesnt sellvibrators.hearts;hearts;你试图让我相信女人买这玩意Its aneck massager.hearts;hearts;来治疗颈部酸痛?You expectme tobelieve thatwomen buythese那是电动颈部按摩器to helptheir soreneckshearts;hearts;好吧我要退还这个电动颈部按摩器Its aneck massager.hearts;hearts;它出了什么问题?Fine.Id liketo returnthis neck massager.它没办法让我达到高潮Whats wrongwith ithearts;hearts;它有保证期限却动都不动It failedto getme off.只会发出可悲的哀叫声It hasa warrantyand itjust stopped.或许你把它累坏了Made thesaddest littlesound.亲爰的它不是第一个被我累坏的Perhaps youwore itout.好吧你再拿一个Well,honey,it wouldntbe thefirst one.直接到柜台结帐就行了Fine.Just...find another我知道有个男人很需要帮脖子按摩一下hearts;hearts;and goto thecashier.千万别买hearts;hearts;那个它滴滴答答地吵死人了I knowa manwhos indesperate needof aneckmassage.那个按摩棒不合用hearts;hearts;Oh,you don*t wantthat one.Toomany bellsand whistles.hearts;hearts;hearts;如果我们真的想达到高潮还是要靠男人才行That oneactually worksagainst you.hearts;hearts;If wewanted toworkthat hard,wed getus a man.对吧?莎曼珊马上让自己成为Am Iright按摩棒界的蜜奇可卡库塔妮Samantha instantlyestablished herself...hearts;hearts;hearts;as theMichiko Kakutaniof事实上那是电动背部按摩棒vibrators.hearts;hearts;hearts;你可以坐在它上面试试看I...Ithinkthat oneactually isa backmassager.当然不行那会烫伤你的私处Not if you mountit.穿着内裤时也会吗?No,absolutely not.That willburn yourclit off.hearts;hearts;穿滑雪裤也一样Even withunderwear我拿了样东西给你Even withski pants.这是艾丽卡的摇椅I broughtyou something.它真的很好用Well,it belongsto Aleika.An oscillatingchair.请进It helps.你好Come onin.你好爰哭鬼宝宝Hey...你为什么哭个不停?Hey there,Mr.Mouth.抱歉他没有停过What haveyou gotto saythat isso important有人不建议用这种摇椅Im sorry,its justbeen nonstop.不过我才不在乎Now thischair isa littlecontroversial.只要让宝宝不再哭就好了But I dont givea shit,我正打算跳防火梯自杀as itstopped my baby fromcrying听起来挺不错的when I was aboutready tothrow myselfoff thefire escape.好吧Sounds good.天啊Okay,now.这张椅子是天才Oh,my God.我不知道应该是震动的关系The chairis genius.我不知道宝宝喜欢那种感觉I dont know,something aboutthe vibration...艾丽卡一坐就是好几个小时I dont know.They loveit.所以你怎么没听过这种椅子?Aleika couldsit init forhours.你的女性朋友都没有宝宝?So,howcomeyou haven*t heardabout this没错我是唯一的妈妈Dont yourgirlfriends havebabies那你死定了No.Tm theonly one.其实她们帮了我很多忙Ooh,then yourescrewed.如果她们没有孩子就不知道该怎么帮你Actually,they*ve beenvery helpful.米兰达你不是个坏妈妈If they dont havekids,they donthave aclue.你只是没有买摇椅而已Miranda,youre notabadmother.hearts;hearts谢谢你You justdidnt havethe chair.卡妲儿Thank you.宝宝安静了三小时后…Kendall.莎曼珊你来这里做什么?Three blissfulbaby hourslater...我不是莎曼珊你才是Samantha,what areyou doinghere五点半你该到约翰曼帝发廊去快出发吧Im notSamantha,you are.什么?You have a5:30appointment with John Mandee at the John Mandee Salon.Go!我不能占走你的…What我数到五然后我会改变心意Uh,I canttake your...真的吗?Im countingto fiveand then Im changingmy mind.你要帮我看宝宝?-Really-Uh-huh.五四…You wannababysit好了Five,four...我不知道该说什么Okay!Okay!我不敢相信I dontknow what to say.他帅呆了他踢腿的动作很漂亮Hes gorgeous!Oh-ho-ho-ho.And hecan kick.太棒了That jazz太棒了-Bravo!-Bravo!他真的很棒对不对?Bravo!-我要上洗手间-再来一个Isnt hegreat Hes great,dont youthink他们要再次表演了-I have to gototheladies room.-Encore!我非去不可Now Theyregonna doan encore.百老汇最棒的演员是黛比凯丝Uh-huh...I haveto gototheladies room.谁想得到这句广告词Broadways best,Debbie Cass.hearts;hearts;“到俱乐部看黛比表妹表演”Yes!Who wouldhave thoughtthe phrase,那么令人害怕呢?r“Go seeyour cousinDebbie sclub act,我还以为可以遇见异性恋男人could containsuch horror就算在观众席里找不到在酒吧里应该也有吧Oh,I thoughtthered beat leastone straightguy here.;等一下因为明天I mean,if notin theaudience thenat leastbehind thebar.我们要到广场村r找那些Well,hold on,cause tomorrow,卖咸味脆饼的大帅哥were gonnacruise thecute pretzelguyshearts;hearts;听起来很可悲吧?-attheVillage SquareMarket.Oh,my God.如果能让你感受好一些我想说Is that as sadas thatjust sounded我以前很喜欢制做梳子的阿曼派人Well,if itmakes you feel anybetter,I usedto have a thingfor theAmish guyswho makehair brushes.我也不敢相信但我来了I cantbelieve it.Well,neither canI,but hereI am.我会是个好保姆谢谢你Mary fuckin*Poppins.电话号码在冰箱上Thank you.hearts;hearts;hearts;别抱他离开那张椅子Um...The numbersare on the fridge.只有它能让他安静下来And donttakehimout ofthat chair.别打电话约男人过来It*s theonly thingthat keepshim quiet.hearts;hearts;你看起来还不算太糟And dontcall boys.Well,you dontlook sobad.与此同时在纽约的另外一边;我享受着什么都不必做的午后Meanwhile ina chairacross town,(节目制作妮娜凯兹)I wasenjoying anafternoon ofabsolutely nothing.你觉得妮娜会告诉参加节目的来宾hearts;hearts;我是伤透她男友心的前女友吗?Hey,doyouthink Nina Katzistelling randomcelebrity hosts什么?thatI am thebad break-up girlfriend你说过她是个大嘴巴What你觉得她会跟葛妮斯派特洛Welt yousaid sheloved to talk.;或伊恩麦克连说我的坏话吗?你不会是认真的吧?Do youthink shestrashing me to saya GwenythPaltrowor anIan McKellan别误会我了我不是吹嘘You cantbe serious.葛妮斯派特洛或伊恩麦克连Well,don*t getme wrong,I dontflatter myself会对我的爰情生活有兴趣但是…that aGwenyth Paltrowor anIan McKellan你在动物园里吗?would be interested inmy lovelife but...不但这都得谢谢你我在米兰达家Are youatazoo布莱迪一直哭个不停No.Thanks to you,Im atMirandas.我不知道该怎么办And Bradywont stopscreaming你在米兰达家?and Idontknowwhattodo.我让她代替我去剪头发You*re atMirandas那真的是太棒了I senther to get myhaircut.没错现在我被惩罚了That wasnice.他受伤了吗?Yes,and nowIm beingpunished.-不•尿布湿了?So,hes nothurt不-No.-Or wet我不知道他有什么问题No.他的问题是他是个混蛋Well,thenIdontknowwhat hisproblem is.hearts;hearts;或许你该打电话给米兰达His problemis hesan asshole.hearts;hearts;我不会那么做Welt maybeyoushouldcall Miranda.我努力了几个月才约到设计师I willnot.一定要有人因此受惠It tookme monthsto getthat appointment.我会想办法让这个小鬼安静再见了Someone shouldbenefit.等一下妮娜呢?PH findsome waytokeepthis kidquiet.Goodbye.凯莉或许夏洛特有时间跟你谈No,no,wait.What aboutNina我必须对付一个爰哭的小鬼Carrie,maybe Charlottehas thetime to talk about thiskindofstuff.什么?你需要什么?I have a screamingbaby onmy hands.那样好多了What What doyouneed一切都没事吧?Well...Thafs better.当然摇椅坏了但发生了奇迹Is everythingokay摇椅坏了?Oh,absolutely.The chairthing broke,but,youknow,shit happens.但你怎么…The chairbroke我是说他…But whatdid you...那最好是全新的I mean,did he...星期一早上哈利葛登布拉特使出全身解数That betterbe brandnew.确定邦妮不会吃掉夏洛特Monday morning,Harry Goldenblattdid hisbest麦克道格太太愿意提供她儿子的收集品to make sure Bunnydidnt hopalloverCharlotte.包括他收集的钱币跟水牛银币Mrs.MacDougal iswilling tooffer hersons collection钱币就算了吧of mintcondition,silver buffalocoins.她不想接受那些钱币收集品Can weget offthe coin collection根据婚前…Shes notgonna settleforacoin collection.这太可笑了崔给了我那间公寓Well,according tothe prenup...hearts;hearts;她答应要嫁给他至死才会跟他分离This isridiculous.Trey gave me that apartment.邦妮如果你有话要说…She gavehim herword,till deathdo thempart.-没错我有话要说•我强烈建议…Bunny,if you have somethingto sayto me,just...亚伦闭嘴-Fine.I shall.-I stronglyrecommend wefocus...你发过誓Allen,hush.但一切不如你意时You,my dear,took avow.你违背了自己的誓言And whenthings didntgo yourway我这一代的妇女非常重视婚姻you simplybroke thatvow.我们相信不论发生什么事I comefrom ageneration ofwomen thatvalued marriage.我们会跟丈夫白首偕老至死不渝We believedin for better orfor worse.当我想到你让我儿子Not,forbetteror untilthe roadgets rocky.感到心痛丢脸…When Ithink of the heartache我很讶异你竟然敢看着我and shameyou causedmy dearboy...夏洛特无法再坚持下去Im amazedthat youcould evencome hereand lookme in the face.看来她永远无法摆脱这段婚姻Charlotte couldntfight anymore.我必须警告你小姑娘It seemedto hershed beenfighting forthis marriageforever.我打算告上法庭Be advised,young lady...你只能拿到钱币要不要随便你Im morethan preparedto goto court.等一下Its thecoincollection.Take itor leaveit.很明显我们办公室刚收到麦克道格Nowjusthold on.从苏格兰拍来的电报Apparently,our officejust receiveda telegram要我念给大家听吗?from Scotlandfrom DoctorMacDougal.当然Shall Iread it夏洛特约克是个好太太句点By allmeans.她没有做错事句点Charlotte York was awonderful wife.Stop.她要什么都给她句点She didnothing wrong.Stop.我是认真的妈妈句点Give hereverything shewants.Stop.那是最出人意表的事Seriously,mother...Stop.”在你最意想不到的时候…Thats thething aboutreviews.给你一个大惊喜Sometimes,when youleast expectit...她只能拿走公寓you get a rave.hearts;hearts;我会把文件准备好Just theapartment.让麦克道格太太办过户PH havepapers drawnup即使情势恶劣…so Mrs.MacDougal cantransfer thedeed.夏洛特仍奋战到最后一秒Even thoughthings hadgotten ugly...我很抱歉情况不如预期Charlotte didn*t wantthem toend thatway.亚伦Im sorrythings didntwork outbetter.For allofus.夏洛特也知道离婚不可能Allen.以喜剧收场Charlotte realizedthere wasno suchthing;太棒了那个老巫婆输了asafairy taledivorce either.在上城区我还是无法忘怀…Ding dong,the witchis dead.妮娜凯兹跟她的神情And fartheruptown,still unableto letit go...逼我面对内心最深沉的恐惧Nina Katzand thatface史蒂夫我知道在电话里我说的很暧昧had drivenmetoface myworst fear.hearts;hearts;是米兰达吧?她不希望我打电话给她50,Steve,I knowI waskinda vagueon thephone.没关系hearts;hearts;Its Miranda,right Shedoesnt wantme callin*so much.Right不这件事跟米兰达无关我想问的是・・・Ifs fine,whatever.艾登对我有什么感觉?No,no,no,its notaboutMiranda,its about...我的天How doesAidan feelabout me你该不会想跟他复合吧?Aw,geez,no.不I mean,youre notgonna tryto getback togetherwith himagain,are youUm,no,但你差不多已经回答了我的问题那么…他恨我吗?but thatpretty muchanswers anyquestion Ihad abouthow youfeel.不凯莉但你的确伤他很深
50.
1.What,does hehate me有多深?史蒂夫No,but come on,Carrie.I mean,it waspretty bad.史蒂夫别玩球How bad,Steve抱歉Steve,the ball.他现在好吗?Sorry.他很好So,how is he now很好Great.Hes great.■他很好■很好Good.现在很好-Hesgreat.-Good.但那个时候…Now.那个时候他没办法起床大概有…But backthen...几天或几星期吗?Back thenhe couldntget out of bedfor like...一个月我会买鸡翅送去给他吃What,days Weekshearts;hearts;天啊Like a month.I broughthim chickenwings.我无意让你难过Oh,Christ...一个月?Look,Idon*t meanto makeyoufeelbad.对他真的是一团糟Well,amonth他没办法打开心胸相信女人Yeah,he wasdevastated.他没办法打开心胸相信女人I mean,he losthis abilityto openup andtrust women.他那样跟你说?He losthis abilityto openup andtrust women不男人不会谈那种事我们一起吃鸡翅Did hetellyouthat是跟他约会的妮娜告诉我的No,guys donttalk aboutshit like that.We justate wings,好的我们要找卖咸味脆饼的大帅哥but thegirl,Nina,hewasdating,she toldme that.hearts;hearts;你不必在我单身时四处找男人Okay,were lookingfor thecute pretzelguys.我不是在寻觅男人我必须把事情说清楚How comeyou neverwanted tocruise guyswhen I was availableits妮娜凯兹做得太过分了This isntabout cruising,about clarity.我要找到她告诉她我为什么要分手That NinaKatz facechick isnow hittinga littletoo closeto home.为什么?你知道你跟艾登经历过什么I wannafind her,and tellher myside of the break-up story.没错但她不知道Why Youknowwhat you andAidan had.她到处告诉别人她的说法Yes,I knowit,but shedoesnt好事不出门坏事传千里and shesyip-yapping herversion allover town.你对马可斯有什么看法?It onlytakes onebad reviewto cancelout allthe goodword ofmouth.他不错爰情关系很复杂Whatdoyouthinkof Marcus一个眼神无法说明一切Nice.I meanrelationships arecomplicated,•我知道艾登他有感觉…•好吧you cantreduce themto a face.-这不是…•别说了我受够了-I know thatAidanhas feelings.-Okay.我听你谈艾登谈了十条街两年来你一直在提他-Its notmy...-Stop.Iamdone.我一直是个好听众Ive listenedto youtalkaboutAidan forwhat,ten blocks,and twoyears.我问你对马可斯有什么感觉你只说〃他不错”And Ivebeen awonderful audience.对不起And Iask youaboutmyMarcus andall I get isnice凯莉你认识我后我交过几个男朋友?Im sorry.真的还是想像的?I mean,Carrie,how manyrelationships haveI beenin sinceyouve knownme拜托我非常重视你的意见Real orimaginary你是我的良师益友Come on,your opinionmeans alot tome.你要我评论你的爱情世界?Youre myMichiko Kakamatza.请说吧So nowwhat,you wantmetoreview yourrelationship我喜欢他让你觉得快乐Immediately ifnot sooner.我的天啊Okay,well...I like that hemakes youhappy.凯莉Oh,my God...好吧你又在跟踪我了Carrie.你好我是海瑟Oh...Okay,one moretime,you areofficially stalkingme.海瑟洛葛拉汉我知道我爱你Hi,Im Heather.我是史丹佛巴勒奇Heather Graham,I know,I loveyou.抱歉海瑟这位是凯莉布雷萧Im StanfordBlache.她是凯莉布雷萧?Oh,sorry,Heather,uh,this isCarrie Bradshaw.真的吗?Carrie Bradshaw好吧妮娜Really如果有空的话我想跟你单独谈一谈Okay,I...Nina,洛葛拉汉小姐I needtotalktoyouforasecond,alone,if I can.我请你吃咸味脆饼Oh,Miss Graham,・没问题一帮我买一个may Ibuyyoua pretzelhearts;hearts;你要男人还是咸味脆饼?-Okay.-And getme one.碳水化合物少的那一个A manorapretzel好吧Whatever hasless carbs.我了解你对艾登和我发生过的事Right觉得很愤怒I getthe sensethat you haveasort offeeling我想澄清一下about whathappened with Aidan.分手是件很难受的事它们也是一种隐私And I just wannaclear somethingup.它们并不能说明Break-ups areawful,and theyare private.双方的经历到底是什么样And theyarenotnecessarily symptomatic我曾经非常爱艾登of whattwo peoplehad together.我不会做出任何故意伤害他的事I lovedAidan verymuch.好吧And Iwould neverever havedone anythingto deliberatelyhurt him.突然我了解到我最害怕的Okay.Suddenly,I realizedthat thecritic并非妮娜凯兹的批评而是我对自己的责难Iwasmost afraidof wasntNinaKatz.那么…It wasme.再见了So...真相是…Bye.hearts;hearts;不论在什么时候在某个地方总会有某个人The truthis...;摆脸色给你看At anygiven momentsomeone,somewhere更重要的是你对自己的看法could bemaking a face aboutyou.我跟海瑟在一起时But it*s thereviews yougive yourselfthat matter.心想“我们该说什么?...so Iget overthere withHeather Graham她很漂亮and Imlike,shit,what dowe havetotalkabout但除了咸味脆饼外我们无话可谈Shes pretty.于是我说…I know,but wehave nothingtotalkabout butpretzels.抱歉-So,okay,so I said...-Ooh...快来Sorry.我说“你去过巴伐利亚吗?Come on,comeon!那里的咸味脆饼最好吃了〃So Isaid,Have you ever beento Bavaria没错They makethe bestpretzels there.你是凯莉布雷萧Yeah.没错我们认识吗?Hi.You*re CarrieBradshaw.Yeah.Have wemet我看过你的专栏你跟艾登分手后我跟他开始交往I recognizeyou fromyour column.我之前还在担心“纽约时报的书评And Iwent outwithAidanright afteryou.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;事实上…大家已经评判过我了There Iwas worriedabout TheNewYorkTimes我承认那是边见面边跑when apparently...Td alreadybeen reviewed.不应该说见了面就跑Im tellinyou,it wasa hitand run.再说一次No,no,no,no,no.It wasafaceand run.那真的是不太妙Make itagain.我觉得你太敏感了Yeah,that ain*t good.那就是脸部抽筋Ithinkyoure beingoversensitive很多人都有过就跟颜面神经麻痹一样and it was somekindofa facialspasm orsomething.那不是颜面神经麻痹A lotof peoplehave them,like Belfspalsy.她用她的表情表达对我的不屑No.It was not Bellspalsy.就像是,也真的很惨It wasa fullfrontal attackoftheface.你把他害得惨兮兮的”Like uh...Wow,was hemessed up.你跟她说了什么?You reallyscrewed himup good.我一句话都没说What didyou sayto her她转身就走I didnthave timeto sayanything.该死的抽筋女郎She justran outtathe bathroom.你什么时候会那样子Fuck thatfucking facegirl.抱歉我好几天没睡Well,when youput itlikethat.布莱迪一直哭个不停Im sorry.I haventslept fordays.好可怜我帮得上忙吗?Bradys beencrying nonstop.救我离开痛苦的深渊吧You poorthing,canIdo anything他怎么了病了吗?Put meoutofmy misery.r他没病Well whats wrongwith him,ishesick也不饿还没有长牙No,hes notsick.他只是想哭He*snothungry,hes notteething,我做了自己能做的但还是哄不了他he justwants toscream.如果他是岁的男人我们已经分手了Im doingeverything Ican,but Ican*t pleasehim.35他一定有什么话想说If hewas35,this iswhen wewould breakup.我给你们说这个十三磅重的烤肉饼He hasissues,clearly.快把我逼疯了我觉得好恶心Im tellingyou.This13pound meatloaf我的衣服闻起来跟呕吐物差不多is pushingme overthe edge.I feeldisgusting!我没时间洗澡更别提剪头发了All ofmy clothessmell likebarf.那倒是提醒了我我该确认Idonthave timeto havea showermuch lessgetahaircut.约翰曼帝发廊的预约时间Oh,that remindsme.I haveto confirmmy appointment你们不知道要跟他们个时间有多难withJohnMandeeattheJohnMandeeSalon.You haveno ideahow hardit wastogetthis appointment.我是莎曼珊琼斯我想确认星期六的预约时间Hi,its SamanthaJones.我要请约翰帮我剪发跟染发Im callingto confirmmy appointmentSaturday.谢谢危机解除For acut andcolor withJohn.梅格在等我Thanks.Crisis averted.我该回监狱去了Well...Magdas waitingfor me.我跟你一起走我可以帮你Time togo backto prison.你不必那么做Let mecome withyou,Icanhelp.没事的我有一些问题You donthavetodo that.星期一我要见我的离婚律师No,its okay,actually Ihaveafew questions问他我可不可以申请禁制令because Immeeting witha divorcelawyer onMonday.你找哪位律师?Oh,askhimif Icould getan injunctionto stopaface.布葛律师事务所的马修布鲁明Whod youget他是什么样的人?Matthew Bloomof BloomGoldenblatt.他既聪明又难r缠-Mm...-What she like他难缠到可以痛扁邦妮吗?Hes smart.Hes tough.没问题But ishe toughenough tobeat Bunnyto apulp太棒了Uhh...Yeah.好了Good!-大家再见祝你们有愉快的一天-再见Okay.Great.-Bye,guys.Have anice day.-Bye.米兰达需要帮忙的话打电话给我hearts;hearts;该死为什么那个女孩还深深地困扰着我?Hey,Miranda,call meifyouneed anything.亲爱的忘了她吧Damn,why isthat girlstill botheringme如果我担心每个臭女人对我的评价Honey,youhaveto letit go.我永远都没办法出门If Iworried whatevery bitchin NewYorkwassaying aboutme,星期一早上夏洛特跟她的律师见面rd neverleave thehouse.他既聪明又难缠…Early Mondaymorning,Charlotte metwith herlawyer.而且还很帅He wassmart,tough...你在电话里说你对你的婆婆And gorgeous.hearts;hearts;邦妮麦克道格的感觉很糟糕You saidonthephone youhad somebad feelings我说过吗?about yourmother-in-law,Bunny MacDougaL跟她的律师接触过后Did I我觉得这会是一场硬仗Igeta sensefrom herlawyer这的确是一场硬仗this isgonna bea bitofa battle.夏洛特的内心在交战It wasabattlealright.想要吸引英俊律师的夏洛特The battleoftheCharlottes.跟想要痛扁邦妮麦克道格的夏洛特在交战The Charlotte who wanted to seemattractive toher adorablelawyer.麦克道格太太一直在隐藏她的财产And theCharlottewhowantedtokick BunnyMacDougals ass.以确保你什么东西都拿不到It lookstomethat Mrs.MacDougafs beenvery busy我真的只想拿我该拿的东西hiding assetsto makesure youdont get...well,anything.我只要我的公寓Well,Ijustreally wantwhat waspromised.hearts;hearts;技术上来说它不是你的I wantmy apartment.崔的家族拥有它Well,technically,its notyour apartment.她很小心地确保房契上没有你的名字Treys familyowns it.hearts;什么?崔给了我那间公寓And shewas verycareful tomakesureyour namewas neveronthedeed.hearts;hearts;抱歉通常我都是很优雅的What Treygavemethatapartment!因为你丈夫不在国内Sorry.Usually Ima veryrefined person.你应该更详细地说出你的需求Well,with yourhusband outofthecountry,Im gonnaneed youtobemore specific.夏洛特意识到她永远不可能摆出恶婆娘的样子特别是在大帅哥面前Charlotte realizedshe couldnever be抱歉打扰你们了as uglyas sheneeded tobeinfront ofamanshe consideredso handsome.这个贝果应该是我的Up-bup-bup-bup-bup,sorry tobust in.这是我的搭档哈利葛登布拉特Theres abagel overhere withmy nameon it.夏洛特约克我负责她的离婚案My partner,Harry Goldenblatt.你好吗?Harry...Charlotte York.Im handlingher divorce.你真的是找对人了Hey,how yadoin他是个杀手Uh,youre in the righthands here.Hes a killer.Oh,agh,ew...谁订了蓝莓口味的?我该跟希尔玛谈谈此事Who thehell orderedblueberry bagels祝你好运Fm talkin*to Thelmaaboutthis.他也是个杀手吗?Good lucktoyou.于是…夏洛特换了律师Is heakiller,too在累了一天And justlikethat...Charlotte changedlawyers.除了脚毛眉毛跟耻毛后After agrueling day莎曼珊决定好好睡一觉奖赏自己一下which includedleg,eyebrow andbikini waxes...不幸的是她最喜欢的按摩棒需要急救一下Samantha decidedto rewardherself witha nightof RR.hearts;hearts;hearts;Unfortunately,布莱迪求求你什么?我不知道你在想什么her favoritevibrator neededa littleCPR.谁?Brady,please,what Icannot readyour mind.我是四楼的住户Who isit现在是凌晨两点半4-D.我知道对不起Its2:30inthemorning.你该哄宝宝别哭了I know.Tm sorry.我说过对不起了我家有宝宝You gottastop thatbaby fromcrying.有时候宝宝会哭闹不停宝宝就是这样Look,IsaidIwassorry.But Ihaveababy,我知道我家也有宝宝and sometimesbabies makenoise,that*s whattheydo.如果你愿意跟我打交道I knowthat.Ihaveababy,too.And ifyoueverbothered tosay hellointheelevator,你应该很清楚这一点我是卡妲儿我女儿叫艾丽卡祝你有愉快的一晚you wouldknowthat.很明显米兰达的邻居Im Kendall,mybabyis Aleika.Have anice night.对她很不爽Evidently,Miranda hadbeen gettingbad reviews至于我的书评from insideher ownbuilding.我觉得很紧张As formy review,•纽约时报谢谢你I guessIwaspretty nervous.hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;-自从黛安娜王妃的婚礼后我没有这么早起床过-Times.Thank you.早安I hadntbeen upthis earlysince PrincessDianas wedding.〃总而言之我喜欢布雷萧小姐Good morning.尖锐有趣的精致世界〃All inall,I enjoyedspending timein Ms.Bradshaws“在这个世界里女人主宰一切男人跟垃圾一样”sharp,funny,finely-drawn world天啊where singlewomen ruleandthemenare disposable/凯莉我相信纽约时报对你是佳评如潮Ouch.hearts;hearts hearts;hearts;“男人是垃圾”?Carrie,I believewhatyouhave thereisarave reviewfrom TheNewYorkTimes.•我没有把男人当垃圾吧?•没有The menaredisposable蜜奇可卡库塔妮是那么想的我一直都赞同她的想法-Idontdispose ofmen,do I-No.去她的Well,Michiko Kakutanithinks soandIalways agreewith her.你又没睡了?Fuck MichikoKakutani.昨晚我睡得很好Oh,no sleepagain我睡了整整一小时Actually,itwasa goodnight.我不敢相信现在我必须假装自己是个律师I gota wholehour.我能戴棒球帽去上班吗?I cantbelieve Ihavetogo andpretend tobealawyer now.你要配哪双鞋子?Can Iwear abaseball capto work我的天我会反驳蜜奇可卡库塔妮With whatshoes如果你真的想告她Oh,myGod.Listen tome goingon andon aboutMichiko Kakutaniwhenyouhavereal problems.。