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A第讲脱险类(讲义)04目录目标1脱险类续写概述目标2恶劣环境来铺垫目标3心理感受来烘托目标4外貌神态来助力目标5谋篇布局有起伏目标6万能升华来点睛目标7最新模拟目标8真题感悟读后续写中会遇到描写森林迷路、地震、水灾、火灾等内容的故事,如果涉及到对生命造成一定威胁的情节,我们就把这类文章归为“脱险型”在近年高考真题中,如2023年浙江卷1月蜂鸟脱困;年浙江卷1月遇到北极熊;2018年浙江卷6月森林遇险如何续写好此类文章呢?清代袁枚《随园诗话》中说过,“文似看山不喜平”,就提出过写文章好比观赏山峰那样,不喜欢平坦,喜欢起伏而读后续写中,情节的跌宕起伏就是一种极好的提升文章整体水平的手法这种转折即由“负”变“正”;或由“正”变“负”最终体现正能量的结局,就是由“正”变“负”【写作步骤】一恶劣环境来铺垫
1.The waterwas deepand runningfast from a bigrainstorm thenight before.前天晚上下了一场大暴雨,水又深又急
2.The watertwisted andturned him,scraping himagainst therocks ashe wascarried along.Water gushedinto hismouthand uphis nose.水流不停地扭动着他,旋转着他,把他蹭在岩石上水灌进他的嘴里,没过了他的鼻子
3.Whats worse,he didnthave anyfood orwater withhim,let alonehis cellphone orother supplies.更糟糕的是,他没有任何食物和水,更不要说他的手机和其他日用品
4.The skyis overcast,darkened withgloomy clouds.天空阴沉,乌云密布
5.The icywind startedhowling,stinging myface.寒风开始咆哮,刺痛了我的脸
6.The windwas howlingand thewaves smackedrepeatedly againsther face.风在呼啸着,海浪不停地拍打着她的脸
7.8ut then,as Ilooked in the distance,I discovereda seriesof threeor fourbig wavesheading towards the shore.但后来,当我往远处看时,我发现有三四个大浪正在冲向海岸
8.1t swayedviolently in a strongwind.Its roadwaywas damagedby vehicles.Its accesswas blockedby manypeople.它在强风中剧烈摇晃车辆损坏了道路许多人堵住了通道
9.The angrywaves crashedagainst theside of the boat,with watersplashing hereand there.愤怒的海浪拍打向船的一侧,水到处飞溅二心理感受来烘托
1.An ominousthought crossedhis mind:Im goingto dieup here.一个不祥的念头掠过他的脑海我要死在这了
2.Looking at the vastsea,I felta sense of fearsurging throughmy wholebody.看着浩瀚的大海,我感到一种恐惧感掠过我的全身
3.Salt stingingmy eyes,I couldhardly tellhow longI couldhold on.盐刺痛了我的眼睛,我几乎不知道我能坚持多久
4.Grief comesin waves.悲伤如潮水一般涌来
5.With apounding heartand cold,moist palms,I feltfaint.最后一句话像一颗子弹击中了我的心
6.Afraid andmerely desperate,she rushedtowards him.她害怕而绝望,向他冲去三外貌神态来烘托
1.Hearing thebad news,Mary frozewith shock,as ifrooted on the ground.听到这个坏消息,玛丽吓得愣住了,好像长在了地上
2.Tears blurredher eyes.泪水模糊了她的双眼
3.1sobbed bitterly,tasting thesalt fromthe tearsthat streameddown myface.我痛苦地抽泣着,尝到脸上流下泪水咸咸的味道
4.She calmeddown tokeep therhyme ofbreathing sothat shecould breatheevenly.她平静下来,保持呼吸的韵律,以便能够均匀地呼吸
5.1glanced backover myshoulder tomake surethat noone wasfollowing me.我回头瞟了一眼以确保没有人跟踪我四谋篇布局有起伏
1.Ultimately,we wereback,safe andsound.最终,我们又回来了,安然无恙
2.We jumpedinto thewarm vehicleand theforester droveus to the rangerstation,where we were givenclothes andwereable tocall ourparents.我们跳上了温暖的车,森林管理员开车把我们送到护林员站,在那里我们得到了衣服,并可以打电话给我们的父母
3.Suddenly itoccurred tous thatwe couldkeep tothe trackto guideus back.But it was gettingdarker anddarker,thus makingit increasinglydifficult forus tomake outthe road.突然我们想到我们可以坚持小路引导我们回去但天色越来越暗,使我们走道路越来越困难五万能升华来点睛脱险类的文章有一个万能的表达“这是一次难忘的经历”万能升华1:That daywas sounforgettable thatit wouldstay inmy memoryforever.句意那天是如此难忘,它将永远留在我的记忆遇到危险并且最终成功脱险的经历,想必对我们每个人来说一定是一生中难忘的经历本句中使用了so…that的句式结构如此……以至于unforgettable是一个形容词,表示“无法忘记的”万能升华2It wasthis uniqueexperience thatmade meunderstand whatever difficulty we are facedwith,we mustntgive upourhope.句意正是这种独特的经历让我明白了我们所面临的任何困难,我们都不能放弃希望本句为复合句,运用强调句it was…that…、定语从句that…、宾语从句whatever…,属于高级句式万能升华3As longas wedont giveup hopeand makeevery effortto overcome all thedifficulties,we willsu relymake asuccesssooner orlater.句意只要我们不放弃希望,不尽一切努力克服一切困难,我们迟早一定会取得成功的本句是复合句As longas引导状语从句,且句子运用较多短语如make asuccess,soon orlater等万能升华4Only thendid Irealize thatitwasbravery thatcan conquerwhateverdifficultycame in the way.句意直到那时,我才意识到,正是勇敢才能克服一切困难遇到危险后,勇敢面对,才能解决问题这个句子突出了“勇敢”这个核心,这在“脱险型”的故事里,是非常恰当的这句话使用了倒装的结构和强调结构结合的方式,也属于高分亮点句【最新模拟】(2023年湖南长沙一中校考阶段练习)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文A Footholdin LifeAdozen childrenran aroundlaughing andplaying inmy friendsyard,while weparents satchatting andsipping coolsummerdrinks.The barbecuehad beencleared awaywhen ourhost announceda surprise.A hugemovable rock wall wasloadedin,which was about twelvefeet wide,made ofgray moldedplastic withindented footholdsthat stretchedstraightup forwhat lookedlike atleast ahundred feet.The enthusiastickids swiftlylined upto giveit atry,and withthe completefearlessnessmost childrenpossess,scrambled tothe top and rangthe bellthat hungat thehighest point.There wasntreallyanything to be afraidof sincethey werebelted intoplace.Three peoplecould climbside byside andtalk toeach other,sogradually theadults triedit,too.“Come on;lefs goget inline,“my husbandNeil urged.“No,you goahead withoutme.I had all sortsof goodexcuses:I donthave theright shoes;I forgotmy sunglasses;I haveto helpthe hostess.I havea uniquetalent forseeing unthinkabledangerin almostevery situation,and thisscene seemeddangerous to me.I watchedeveryone elsehaving fun,though,andfinally convincedmyself totry it.With all the nerveI couldgather,I startedthe climb.The beltwrapped aroundme likea diaperso therewas noway tofall.Yes,I thought,this isfun andsafe!Concentrating oneach foothold,I slowlymade my way up.I avoidedlooking downtoprevent anysudden panic,and withina fewminutes Imade it tothetopandproudly rangthe bell.“Woo hoo!^^my daughterscalled uptome.Way togo,Col!^^Neil yelled.I enjoyedmy successand theenjoyable viewof fieldsand farmlanduntil Irealized therewas aline belowme waitingfora turn.It wastime togo down.注意L续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答It wasone thing to lookout at the worldin thedistance,but itwas awhole otherthing to look straightdown.Finally,the twoof usreached theground.【答案】It wasone thingtolookout atthe worldin thedistance,but itwasawhole otherthingtolook straightdown.My legswere shakinguncontrollably andmy gripon thehandholds wasslipping.(细节描写)I couldhear myfamilycalling uprecommendations tome.Closing myeyes andtaking adeep breath,I triedto calmmyself down.(心理描写,神态描写)And then,I felta gentlehand onmy back.“Its okay,“a kindvoice said.Im hereto helpyoudown.^^I turnedto see a friendly face,someone I had onlymet brieflybefore,but whohad clearlyseen mydistress andcome to my aid.With hersupport,I wasable toclimb down,slowly butsurely.Finally,the twoof usreached theground.I wasoverwhelmed with gratitude,and asI huggedmy rescuer,I realizedthatsometimes itsokay toadmit whenwe needhelp.情感描写)Its okay tobeafraid,and itsokaytolean onothers whenwe5re feelingunsure.On mydrive home,I couldntstop thinkingabout therockwall.It hadbeen asymbol ofmy ownself-doubt andfear,but I had conqueredit.(心理描写)1felt like Ihada new foothold in life,a newsense ofconfidencethat I could take on whateverchallenges camemy way.【导语】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了作者和家人去朋友家聚会,主人准备了可移动的岩石墙,大家都热情地排着队攀爬,但是作者找各种借口不去爬,最后在家人的鼓励下,终于鼓足勇气爬上去了,看到了远处的另一个世界,非常开心【详解】
1.段落续写
①由第一段首句内容“从远处看世界是一回事,但向下看完全是另一回事“可知,第一段可描写作者想下去的时候往下看非常害怕,最后在其他人的帮助下往下爬
②由第二段首句内容“最后,我们两个到了地面”可知,第二段可描写作者最后爬下来,感激救命恩人并对此事进行感悟
1.续写线索害怕下去——其他人帮助——稳稳下来——感激恩人——感悟
2.词汇激活行为类
1.吸气take abreath/breathe in
2.考虑think about/think over/consider情绪类
1.友好的friendly/amicable/kind
2.感激地withgratitude/gratefully[高分句型1]Closing myeyes andtaking adeep breath,I triedto calmmyself down.我闭上眼睛,深呼吸,试图让自己冷静下来(本句属于外貌神态描写,并且运用了现在分词作状语)[高分句型2]I turnedtoseeafriendlyface,someone Ihad onlymet brieflybefore,but whohad clearlyseen mydistress andcometomyaid.我转过身来,看到一张友好的脸,我以前只见过一次,但他清楚地看到了我的痛苦,并来帮助我(本句属于细节描写,并含有省略关系代词的限制性定语从句)[高分句型3]I feltlikeIhada newfootholdinlife,anewsenseofconfidence thatIcouldtakeonwhatever challengescamemyway.我觉得我在生活中有了一个新的立足点,一种新的信心,我可以接受我遇到的任何挑战(本句属于结尾升华句子,运用宾语从句和that连接的同位语从句)亡;【真题感悟】
1.(年浙江卷6月)阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事One fall,my wifeEHi and Ihada singlegoal:to photographpolar bears.We werestaying ata researchcamp outside“the polar bear capitalof theworkT-the townof Churchillin Manitoba,Canada.Taking picturesof polarbears isamazing butalso dangerous.Polar bears-like allwild animalsshould bephotographedfromasafe distance.When Imface toface with a polarbear,I likeittobe througha camerawithatelephotolens.But sometimes,that iseasier saidthan done.This wasone ofthose times.As Elli andIcooked dinner,a youngmale polarbear whowas playinginanearby lakesniffed,and smelledour garlicbread.The hungrybear followedhis noseto ourcamp,which wassurrounded bya highwire fence.He pulledand bitthewire.He stoodon hisback legsand pushedatthewooden fenceposts.Terrified,Elli andI triedall the bear defenseactions weknew.We yelledatthe bear,hit potshard,and firedblankshotgun shellsinto theair.Sometimes loudnoises likethese willscare bearsoff.Not thispolarbearthough-he justkepttrying totear downthe fencewith hismassive paws(爪子).I radioedthe campmanager for help.He toldmeahelicopter wason itsway,but itwould be30minutes beforeitarrived.Making thebest ofthis closeencounter(相遇),I tooksome picturesof the bear.ElliandI fearedthe fencewouldnt lastthrough30more minutesofthe bears punishment.The campmanagersuggested Iuse pepperspray.The sprayburns thebears,eyes,but doesn*t hurtthem.So Iapproached ouruninvited guestslowlyand,through the fence,sprayed himintheface.With anangry roar(□孔口U),thebearran tothe laketo washhiseyes.注意:L所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;
4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语Paragraphl:A fewminutes later,thebearheaded backto ourcamp.__________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:At thatvery moment,the helicopterarrived._________________________________________________________________________________________【答案】A fewminutes later,thebearheaded backto ourcamp,then werealized thespray hadonly angeredhim evenmore,for heseemed muchfiercer thistime andviolently pushed the fence like mad.My heartraced wildly,not knowingwhat to do.At thiscritical moment,Elli grabbedseveral piecesof garlicbread andthrew themover thefence.It worked!The bearstopped theattack and ran tothe bread.But itwasnt longbefore heeat upallthebread andcame backagain.At thatvery moment,the helicopterarrived.Thank goodnesswearesaved!”Elli criedout.Once thehelicopterlanded,we gotonto itin notime,excited andrelieved.When wewere safeonthehelicopter upintheair,I wasamazed tothespot thatthebearhad finallytore downthefenceandrantowardsthefood weleft behind.I quicklytook outthe cameraandphotographed therare scene-wewererobbed bya polarbear.【分析】本文以事件为线索展开,讲述了作者和妻子前往被称为“北极熊之都”的加拿大丘吉尔镇拍摄北极熊夫妻二人做饭之时,一头饥饿的雄性幼熊跟着面包的蒜香味,靠近了营地,猛烈撞击营地边上的铁丝围栏作者和妻子使出浑身解数,想吓退这头熊,不料它“不破篱笆誓不归:无奈之下,作者求助营地管理员,被告知救援直升机要30分钟后才能赶到,只得先尝试用胡椒喷雾喷洒北极熊的眼睛,不料这使熊变得更加暴躁,在千钧一发之际直升机及时赶到,他们得救了的故事【详解】
1.段落续写由第一段首句内容“几分钟后,熊返回了我们的营地“可知,第一段可描写作者夫妻二人如何再次对付熊及两人在此过程中的紧张害怕由第二段首句内容“就在那时,直升机赶到了”可知,第二段可描写作者夫妻二人获救时的心情
2.续写线索熊返回营地——紧张害怕——用面包攻击——直升机赶到——快速登上飞机——熊把篱笆推到——拍下熊“打劫”的画面
3.词汇激活行为类
①激怒anger/provoke/enrage
②抓起grab/snatch up
③拿出take out/fetch out情绪类
①疯狂的mad/crazy
②兴奋的:excited/thrilled[点睛][高分句型1]then werealized thespray hadonly angeredhim evenmore,forheseemed muchfiercer thistimeand violentlypushedthefencelikemad.My heartraced wildly,(for引导的原因状语从句)[高分句型2]My heartraced wildly,not knowingwhattodo.(现在分词作状语)[高分句型3]Once thehelicopter landed,we gotonto itin notime,excited andrelieved,(once引导时间状语从句和形容词作状语)。