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(东南西北布莱恩宝宝的窝在哪里)叛徒第一季第七集(改编自维克多拉瓦列的同名小说)在美国我们通过删除历史来重写历史In America,we rewritehistory你干什么站住疯婆子by erasingit.好啊你需要被关起来What areyou doingStop!Crazy fuckingbitch!你在干什么Okay,you needlocking up!你需要被关起来才行What areyou doing放开我求求你You need to befucking lockedup!给你亲爱的Let goof me!Please.“我是阿波罗请留言There yougo,honey.我给你打了三天电话This isApollo.Leave amessage.hearts;hearts;阿波罗我不知道你在哪里…Ive beencalling you for threedays.有些人在纽约人间蒸发彻底消失I dont know where you are,Apollo.I dont know whereyou are.(艾尔克酒店]People washup in New York.Literally.艾尔克酒店已经投入营业多年了100当年建来为通过埃利斯岛入境的移民提供服务The Elk Hotel has been inbusiness forover100years.hearts;hearts;我来是为了取消一项交易Built toserve immigrantspassing throughEllis Island.能走过年历程在美国算是一大成就Im here to unmakea deal.100毕竟这可说是世界上最烂的酒店One hundredyears isquite the American successstory...莫扎特的交响曲乐谱被发现了considering thisis theshittiest hotelin the world.这是你的亲爰的I think I coulddo that.You know以前女人之间会互相教导There yougo,honey.从我们的知识库中去理解怎么做好这件非常艰难的事Used to be advicepassed fromwoman towoman,我向我妈求助drawn from the wellof herknowledge,how wedo thishard,hard thing.她抓住我的手I reachback to my mother转头向她妈求助and sheholds myhand,代代相传绵延不绝and shereaches back to hermother beforethat.莉莲A humanchain ofinformation backand backand back.与你爸相遇的那一刻空气中洋溢着某种奇妙的气息Lillian.hearts;hearts;我们都来自遥远的地方我来自乌干达他来自雪城There wassome crackedmagic in the airwhen Imet your dad.所以我们才得以在纽约市相爰Wed come from far-flung places,mefromUganda and he fromSyracuse,不对so wecould fall in lovein New York City.我是爱过你爸的Correction.hearts;hearts;不对I loved yourdad.我无法跟你形容陷入爱河的感觉Correction.我从没感受过真正的幸福或满足I canttell youwhat beingin romanticlove is.别人口中那种小鹿乱撞的感觉我从未感受过I never felt truehappiness orcontentment.我的心充满空洞All thosetummy thingspeople talkabout I neverfeltthose.只有我儿子能填满这些空洞Just blankspaces.Only frommy sonwere thoseholes filled.阿波罗我也知道这样不好把压力通通放在孩子身上I know that wasno goodeither,Apollo.将我对幸福的重担都加诸于你身上Putting all that pressureon a child.爱你比爱自己更多Burdening youwith theweight of all ofmy happiness.有时候・・・Loving youmore thanI canever lovemyself.也恨自己背着那份爱你的压力And sometimes...但是这种事我们当妈妈的绝不能说出口hating theburden ofloving you too.母亲的责任是神圣的But usmothers mustntspeak ofsuch matters.照顾孩子所经历的悲伤懊悔遗憾The divineinconvenience.还有焦虑都是神圣的The grief,the sorrow,the regret.我做得够好了吗The anxietyof caringfor a child.你是我脑海中挥之不去的烦恼Am Ienough我意识到“妈妈”这个角色永远如影随形You area burrowedtick in my mind.我这个妈妈做得够好了吗And itoccurs to me,a motheris somethingI cannever notbe again.但如今已经无路可退了Can Ibe motherenough因为你只能靠我孩子Well,now there is nochoice.我当然也有过憧憬和梦想Cause,kid,Im allyouve got.我们不都是对着星星许愿长大的孩子吗Of course,I hadhopes anddreams.我把我的梦想都给了你Dont weall growup wishingon astar好吧在我说出不想对你说出的事以前我先让你对他有个印象I gaveall mydreams to you.他有个憎恨他的妈妈他因此深受伤害Okay.Before I tell youwhat I dont wantto tellyou,let mefirst givehim color.一想起这事我都会想象自己用双手将他抱住He waswounded deeplyby amother whohated him.他爸更糟糕I thinkof it,and Iwrap him in myminds arms.但他唯一无法放下的是他妈妈的背叛The dadwas worse.就这点我早应该有所防备But thebetrayal of the motherwas somethinghe could never getpast.但我被冲昏了头Should haveserved as a redflag.你爸很爰很爰你但他也从事业成就I wascolor-blind.hearts;hearts;以及与你不相干的领域中取得满足感Your dadlovedyouwith fire,but healso gotsatisfaction我非常嫉妒他的人生-韦斯警官恭喜你from achievementsand otherworlds thatdidnt orbityou.也感谢你卓越的表现I was-I amjealous ofthat.-Officer West,congratulations你爸收藏很多杂物and thankyoufor an outstandingperformance.hearts;hearts;一箱箱数之不尽的杂物Your fatherkept a lot ofstuff.仿佛在证明他的人生充满意义Stuff,stuft stuf£boxes ofit.这些杂物填补了他缺少父爱母爱的空洞As ifthings wereproof heled ameaningful life.听说人注定会重复父母的感情模式Things filledthe voidleft byparents who couldnt lovehim.没想到吧他也选择了一个无法爱他的女人They saywe aredestined torepeat ourpatterns.但我需要他And ta-da,he chosea womanwhocouldn*t lovehim either.But I needed him.需要他来遮掩我的罪过有时我会望着他心想,我恨你”Needed himto covermy mistake.有时我很清楚他是我选择的男人UThere would be timesI wouldlook athim andthink,I hateyou.”因为我知道他会爱你儿子And othertimes,he was the guyI chose.我罔顾那些不详的预感Because,boy,I knewhe wouldlove you.预感告诉我他不太对劲Pushing awayall thosegut warnings不太对劲that toldme somethingwasnt quiteright withhim.我没意识到大灾难来临前的前兆Something.我没意识到他选择我的理由I didntsee thefissures thatled tothe quake.非常合身I didntsee thereasons hechose me.你也不会知道吧Perfect fit.他跟我说…Wouldnt you know你让我气得想要用拳头捶墙锤到手指骨粉碎为止He tells me-他也跟我说…You make me soangry Iwanna punchthe wallstill myfingers arepowder!你对我散发出的光芒太耀眼搞得我目眩神迷He alsotellsme-我们每天都徘徊在两种极端的情绪之间You shinea lighton meso strongthat I am blinded by it.该死的下三滥城市缴税有什么用We liveday-to-day somewherebetween thosetwo extremes.你这辈子从未向税务局缴纳过一分钱Fucking cheap-shit brokencity.The hellwe payingtaxes for女士You neverpaid acent tothe taxmanin yourlife.那是别人的儿子Lady!我知道Thats someonesson.谁来扮演各个角色I know.为什么是他们Who fillseach role谢谢你我怕黑And why早晨总会来临Thank you.Tm scaredof thedark.我开始觉得自己已经不存在了The morningalways comes.这是天堂吗I wasbeginning tothinkI didnt exist.正相反Is thisheaven我要退款The exactopposite.我付钱不是为了住一间天花板到处都是坑坑洞洞的客房I wantmy moneyback.hearts;还要用蜡烛来照亮和取暖I aintpaying forno goddamnroom withholes in the ceiling.安吉莉卡其他酒店是不会让你入住的Light andheat fromcandles去你的莱斯特去你的下三滥酒店No oneelse wouldhave youin theirplace,Angelica.你妈妈呢Fuck you,Lester.Fuck youand yourshitty-ass excuseof ahotel.她在马萨诸塞州Wheres yourmama我受够这个地方了Shes inMassachusetts.听好我以后搬到女爵酒店去做生意Im donewith thisplace.我不会想念你的-艾尔克酒店Im tellingyou,Fm takingmy businessto TheDuchess.是嶂螂和老鼠屎的天堂I wontmiss you.-The ElkHotel is a haven如果你在艾尔克酒店病倒了for roachesand ratshit.是因为吸入毒烟和霉菌If you get sickat TheElk,酒店毫无服务水平可言入住等于是送死its fromdope smokeand moldinhalation.她死活也不会走的■这是什么压根不是酒店The serviceis nil.You comehereto die.这就是我的反馈零星差评人渣She neverleaves.-This hereThis isa no-tel.hearts;hearts;在我的老家病人都有家人照顾Thats myreview.Zero stars!You asshole!在我的老家人们以前会把女巫烧死Where Icome from,when youget sick,your familytakes careof you.你怎么会来这里呢Where Icome from,they usedto burnwitches.我犯了很多错How youend uphere你不应该孤伶伶一个人的Series ofwrong turns.我已经很久没睡了You shouldntbe alone.睡不着时我会把床想象成一艘船I haventslept inso long.这艘船往大海飘去When Icant sleep,I pretendmy bed isaboat.我必须躺在船的正中央四肢不能挂在船的两侧And the bedisdrifting offto sea.hearts;hearts;否则手脚可能会被跃出水面的鲨鱼叼走I haveto lieright in the center,no limbshanging overthe sides,听了反而令人更慌了because otherwisea sharkmight jumpup andsnatch afoot oran arm.可能吧That doesntsound veryrelaxing.你为什么入住这家酒店Maybe not.我知道你做过什么Why areyou stayinghere要我给你去倒杯水吗I knowwhat youdid.需要点什么吗Can I get yousome water我很想念我妈Anything我熬不过今晚了I missmy mom.我也是Im gonnadie tonight.我和比尔一起来的Me too.我跟我妈说我跟一群朋友一起去观光Came herewith Bill.比尔则跟他太太说他去出差I toldmy momthat it was abunch ofus sightseeing.我们都听说了这种关系会一直影响我们身边的人And Billtold his wife itwas business.比尔很害怕Wed heardabout it.This thingthat hadbeen affectingour people.我没跟他说我的健康开始恶化了Bill wasscared.更糟糕的是我们买了莱娜霍恩演唱会的门票I didnttell himthat Tdstarted tofeel bad.hearts;hearts;而且是前面第三排的门票Badder,because,well,we hadtickets tosee Lena.想象有生之年没亲眼看她演唱《暴风雨》那会是什么感受Third row.Right upfront.毕竟我的美梦就快到头了1And theidea ofnot experiencingher StormyWeather/1dont know.没亲眼见到她意味着一切都白受了The endof thedream wascoming anyway,所有的愤怒躲躲藏藏和疑惑都白受了and notseeing herwould somehowmean thatit had all meantnothing.我们是乘搭巴士来的All theanger and the hidingand theconfusion.旁人肯定认为他是我爸或什么的We camein ona bus.接着我就发作了People mustvethought that he wasmy dador something.病情来得很突然就像气候骤变那样Then ithappened.我咳啾咳得越来越厉害It wasreally sudden,like achange in the weather.;周围的人开始盯着我看露出嫌恶的神情Just thecough gotbad,我全身发热汗流不止and thepeople startedstaring atme,disgusted.我可以看到他的眼神I wasrunning afever,sweat dripping.那是两个月前的事了I couldsee thelook inhis eyes.我们入住一家漂亮的酒店接着他太太打来That wastwo monthsago.家里有急事他必须赶回去但他会回来的We stayedat anice place and thenhiswifecalled.他打算及时赶回来看莱娜的演唱会An emergency.He hadto goback,but he would return.但他没做到He wasgonna comeback intime forLena.我像醉酒的摇滚明星般把那个房间拆毁了And whenhe didnt...hearts;只为了寻找那两张门票I just-I torethat roomapart like a loadedrock star,门票找不到looking forthose tickets.f我身上的钱不多时不时陷入昏迷Couldn tfind themanywhere.我自知应该善用剩余的钱Ididnt have muchmoney.I kepthaving theseblackouts.我自知应该・・・I knowI shouldhave usedwhat I had left.r我自知应该乘搭巴士回家I knowI shouldve.但我做不到I shouldvegot abus backhome.我做不到But I couldnt doit.我不能这样对待我妈I couldnt.想象她会有什么反应I couldntdo thatto mymom.看到从她肚里呱呱落地的完美身躯Just imaginewhat thatwould doto her.如今全然腐朽败坏You know,seeing theperfect bodythat shedelivered intotheworld于是我找到了这家酒店把剩余的钱都给了莱斯特all rottedand ruined.;我能理解他有老婆什么的So Ifound thisplaceand I gaveLester therest ofmy cash.我懂I getthathehas awife andallthatstuff.我只希望…I getit.我只希望可以…But I wish...我完全不介意死在这个房间里I justwish I could...hearts;我只希望可以看到她唱《暴风雨》I donteven mindit allending uphere in this room.我希望那个画面能烙印在我脑海里But Iwish I could haveseen hersing StormyWeather.好让在我生命的最后一刻可以想象到那个画面IwishI hadthat imageinmymind...懂吗so that Icould just pictureit at the exactlast moment.我可以想象帷幕曲终关闭的那一刻You know莱娜拖着最后一个长音Like Icouldjustimagine Lenajust holdingthat lastnote好好睡吧asthecurtains finallyclose.不她是不会祈祷的Sleep tight.我不信神No.She wouldnot pray.安吉莉卡No godof mine.安吉莉卡Angelica!救我Angelica!嘿老兄滚出去■嘿放手Help me.快放手-别多管闲事Hey,man!Get outta here!-Hey!Let gonow.再也不会有人见到你了Let her go rightnow.-This hasnothing todo withyou.否则我把你…•我付钱了No onesever gonnasee youagain.塞进行李箱里然后扔进河底起来啊Youre gonnafind yourself...-1paid.起来-嘿...stuffed in a suitcaseat thebottom of a river.Get up!嘿老兄冷静点Get up!-Hey.嘿老兄把枪放下嘛Hey,man.Come on.我给你一个机会给我滚Hey.Dude!Put itdown!如果你不滚的话看到那面墙上的血迹吗Im gonnagive youa shotto getouttahere.小心你也会变得只剩一滩血迹If youdont takeit,you seethat stainon thewall overthere快滚滚Thats gonnabe whatsleft of you too.安吉莉卡没事了Now,go!Go!没事的有我在Angelica.Its okay.没事的他走了Its okay.I gotyou.Its okay.Hes gone.有我在以后还有谁会来找我啊I gotyou.我跟死了没两样Whos gonnacome findme你还活着我看得见你在这里你不会有事的Idon*t exist.有我在You do.Tm lookingat you.Youre rightwhereyouneedto be.(如果你在寻找预兆那你找到了)I gotyou.她会怎么样呢她会怎么跟阿波罗解释What wouldhappen to her她会怎么告诉他What wouldshe tellApollo我来救你了How wouldshe tellhim谁来帮你投篮Im comingfor you!谁来教你美国体育项目的规则Whos gonnahelp youshoot abasket我会建造沙堡Whos gonnateach youthe rulesof Americansport games更换电灯泡Sandcastles Ican do.清除浴缸里的蜘蛛网Changing light-bulbs.发现此文物的巴伐利亚州立图书馆表示...Mozart symphonyhasbeendiscovered.当年莫扎特的父亲将这首完整的交响曲写成手稿The BavarianState Library,where itwas found,以节省聘请乐谱复制师的费用said thecomplete symphonywas putin manuscriptform byMozartsfather hearts;hearts;to savethe cost这首刚被发现的交响曲将于月日在巴伐利亚的一场音乐会上ofanote copier.向公众517演奏-他把你伤得好重啊The newlydiscovered symphonywill beperformed inpublic May17that aconcert inBavaria.-He gotyou good.外部调查人员仍在努力查验这份文件的真实性External investigatorsare stilltrying toverify但是一名图书馆的发言人指出…the authenticityofthedocument.我记得这个地方However,a spokespersonfor thelibrary...住多久I rememberthis.通通记得How long住多久■我要住号房All ofthis.205hearts;hearts;不是看看房乂介How long-1want Room
205.(最少入住两个小时只收现金)hearts;hearts;hearts No.Look at the rates.一整晚一整晚•那晚莱斯特累坏了The wholenight.他在这张柜台前工作长达年了All night-Lester wasweary.20他的工作是分辨来者是帮派成员杀人犯For20years hedworked thisdesk.还是妓女毒贩嫖客或皮条客His jobwas todifferentiate betweengang memberand murderer,hearts;hearts;hearts;hearts;versus whore,drug他曾目睹这扇门外上演帮派火拼dealer,john,or pimp.目睹青少年…不对是婴孩在人行道上被冷血杀害Hed watchedgangs wagewar outsidethis verydoor.学校的父亲节手工项目除外Removing spidersfrom tubs.But handmadeFathers Dayprojects atschool万一我出事了怎么办万一我晚上死去怎么办What if something happensto me不会有人来找你的What ifI diein the nightNo onewill comefor you.因为没人知道你孤伶伶一个人要怎么告诉孩子他爸不会再回来了Because no one knowsyoure alone.阿波罗你觉得他不要你How doyou tellachildhis daddyisnt comingback事实正好相反Apollo,you felthe didntwant you,他太想占有你了but itwas preciselythe opposite.你对我散发出的光芒太耀眼搞得我目眩神迷He wanted you toomuch.我需要解释You shinea lighton meso strong,Iamblindedbyit.我需要一个解释I needto explain.那天气候十分炎热Ineedan explanation.空气潮湿It was a reallyhot day.我们乘搭电车前往罗斯福岛在河边野餐Humid too.是金枪鱼沙拉We tookthe tramwayto Roosevelt Island tohave apicnic bythe water.有点吃腻了对吧Tuna salad.你说什么Kinda boring,huh我什么都没说What didyou say那天他第一次口中只说I aintsay nothing.“莉莲你好美〃And itwas the first timehe didnt say anythingthat wasnt,1“莉莲你就像在垃圾填埋场上绽放的玫瑰”Oh,Lillian,you*re sobeautiful.嘿莉莲你知道这整座岛以前是一座精神病院吗Lillian,you area rosein alandfill.不知道•真的Hey,Lillian,you knowthis wholeisland usedto bean insaneasylum如今变成了豪华公寓No.-Yeah.hearts;hearts;搞不好闹鬼呢Luxury apartmentsnow.嘿你看那边Probably haunted,huh看到那座灯塔吗Hey,you seethat right there,那座灯塔the—that lighthouse以前用来为载送精神病患前来的船照亮水路That lighthouserightthere,你也挺不正常的that usedto lightthe wayfor theships bringinginthewackos.你搞不好真有精神病You know,youre prettycrazy.到时我会把你送进去我做得到的You arecertifiable.在那个年代Id get you putin there.Icould.丈夫会把自慰的太太You know,back inthe day,hearts;hearts;或是月经紊乱甚至抽烟的妻子送进去husbands,they wouldhave theirwives putin thatplace for,like,masturbation如果你是其中一个女人or menstrualproblems,or evensmoking.那就不好笑了对吧Except itsnot funny,is it阅读小说被丈夫亏虐待懒散If you*re oneof thosewomen对政治感兴趣患有哮喘症交到不好的朋友Novel reading,ill-treatment bya husband,laziness,hearts;hearts;如果你被送进精神病院是不会有人知道的political excitement,asthma,bad company.你You know,ifsomethinglike thatever happenedtoyou,no onewould know.的家人也不会知道因为他们都不在了真可怜啊Like,your family and that,you know,because theyreall gone.那番话像是在威胁我So sad.我感到心里有一扇门关闭了And it felt likea threat...是我不对and Ifelt adoor shutinside ofme.我没留心听我们坐在罗斯福岛的河岸上Its myfault...他边吃金枪鱼沙拉边说的话thatIdidnt listento wordssaid overtuna salad他和他们的话on thebanks ofRooseveltIsland.暴风雨要来了…His andtheirs.暴风雨要来了A stormis coming.A stormis coming.暴风雨要来了A stormis coming.暴风雨要来了A stormis coming.如果我真能教导你什么A stormis coming.我会教你去留意种种预兆If Icould teachyou anything,他说…its tolook forthe signs.你跟死了没两样He said...你说什么You dontexist.我开始活在某种恐惧中Excuse me其实他并没做错过什么And Istarted livingin akind offear.He reallydidnt doanything wrongthough.阿波罗你要知道啊直到他说…Apollo,knowthat.阿波罗终于睡着了Not untilhe said...有人在吗Apollos finallysleeping.是谁啊Knock,knock.香蕉Whos there我难过时…•香蕉Banana.有人在吗-他会讲笑话逗我笑Sometimes whenI wassad...-Banana who是谁啊-香蕉Knock,knock.-...hewouldtell jokes,make mesmile.香蕉Whos there-Banana.他幽默风趣也很贴心Banana who是谁啊He wasfunny andsweet likethat.橙Who*s there“橙”你贵言好在我刚才没说“香蕉”吧Orange.Orange who嘿莉莲Orange youglad Ididntsaybanana我会一直记住你直到我们化为尘土为止Hey,Lillian.这话怎么听起来像是一种威胁呢I willknow youuntil we are dust.他发现了那张收据找她对质Why doesthat soundlikeathreat她对天发誓Hed foundthe receiptand confrontedher.她不知道这张入住第大道第街艾尔克酒店的收据Shed swornup anddown从942何而来she didn*t knowwhere thatbill fora stayat TheElkHotelon9th and42nd莉莲我们才刚结婚不久■我不知道这是什么had comefrom.竟然在这家烂酒店里偷Wed justgot together,Lillian.-1dontknowwhat thisis.hearts;IWhearts;确实可笑An affairin thisshitty hotel他还以为偷「情对象是她的老板Laughable.hearts hearts;是查尔斯布莱伍德吧He thoughtitwasher boss.说得好像真的是他似的Charles Blackwood.说得好像她真的会委屈自己跟那种男人As if.到那种地方开房似的As ifshe woulddeign tospend timein aplace likethishearts;他是有妇之夫with a man likethat.还有两个孩子Hes married.是吗你很了解他嘛With twochildren.他把全家福摆在办公桌上Oh,yeah Yousure knowa lotabout him,huh你开始跟我说他来敲门He keepstheir pictureson hisdesk.有人在吗You startedsaying hewas knockingatthe door.你两个月大时我就回去上班了Knock,knock.我别无选择I goback towork when you aretwo months old.I haveto.我拖着累坏的身躯半夜起床给你喂奶接着去上班然后回家Im shatteredfrom gettingup through thenightto feedyou,我变得暴躁易怒and thenworking,and thenhome.我呵斥他I gotangry.我把自己封闭起来I scoldedhim.我悄悄策动和规划一个逃脱方案I withdrew.阿波罗如果你以后有孩子的话I planned.I plottedmy escape.对他最残忍的行为就是把几个月大的孩子和妈妈拆散Apollo,if youever have achild,让她回去工作hearts;the cruelestact istorip himfrom hismother,monthsold,阿波罗千万别这么做and havehergobacktowork.除非你想把她逼疯Dont everdo that,Apollo.有人在吗Unless youwanna seecrazy.我们分开了Knock,knock!这是显而易见的结果We splitup.如今我看到他的真面目了That partsobvious.你完蛋了丫头And nowI seehiminevery color.你会吵醒我的宝宝的■“我的宝宝”You arescrewed now,girl.我害怕他会把孩子从我身边夺走Youre goingto wakemy baby.-My baby让我再也见不到你Im petrifiedhe willtake mychild fromme.And I will neversee youagain.一切都失控了他是我拼命想成为的那种美国人Everything seemslost.大权在握Hes theAmerican I would killto be.你跟我妈没两样He hasall thepower.这句话很伤人Youre justlike mymother.我把这句话带来的伤痛连同其他伤痛一起牢牢记住了Thats astinging cut.接着我开始紧张起来I takethe littlescar,and Iadd ittomycollection oflittle scars他开始用一种小心翼翼的口吻跟我说话因为他说服自己相信我是个疯子and Impanicking.他必须相信这点这样才能除掉我把你带走He speakstomein thiswary tone,because hesconvinced himselfTm crazy.我很想说…He hasto believeit,so hecan amputateme andtake you.去你的你以为你是谁啊I wouldlike tosay...可是我做不到Fuck you!Who doyou thinkyou are我很想痛揍他那张可恶的脸But Icant.但他可是美国人啊Iwouldlike tosmash himinthefucking face,莉莲不会有人来把你带走的懂吗but hestheAmerican.No onescoming to getyou,Lillian.You understandthat原因很简单没人会把你带走是因为这世上已经没有爱你的人了接着就发生那场大灾难了It issimple.Nobodys comingto getyou becauseno onewho lovesyou isleft.那个周六他来看你还发现了一张酒店账单And thenthe earthquakeerupts.Hes cometo visityou.Its aSaturday,andhefinds thishotel bill.我不知道他在哪里找到的唯一的可能性是他设计陷害我尽管我们已经分开了但他还是愤愤难平And Icant imaginewhere hefound itunless heplanted iton mehimself.他失控了Hes raging,even thoughwere nottogether anymore.我看他颈项青筋暴起目光如炬Hes outof hismind.他说如果他得不到我别人也休想得到我The veinbulging inhis neck.His eyeson fire.我的儿子不能让男人抚养Hes sayingif hecan*thaveme,noonecan.你的儿子No otherman israising myson!是我的儿子没错我要把你告上法庭Your sonMyson.Iwilltake youto court.住多久Teenagers-Nay,babies,senselessly killedon thesidewalk.起初他会出去将水泥地洗刷干净How long如今地面染成了锈红色At first,hed goneout thereand scrubbedatthecement.美元Now itwas rust-red.75酒店不允许帮派成员和杀人犯入住Seventy-five.收据会在退房时交给你Gang membersand murdererswere denieda room.hearts;其余的人都欢迎入住You getyour receiptwhen youcheck out.当然他的判断能力不是每次都准确无误Everyone elsewas welcome.曾经有个女变性人被勒死Of course,his decipheringskills werentalways upto par.尸体被塞在床底下还穿着一件金色亮片连身裙Like thetime atrans womanwas strangled,足足两周没人发现stuffed underthebedin agoldsequined dress,几个人住•就我一个人and leftundiscovered fortwo weeks.就你一个人How manyofyou-Just me.尸体没人认领以无名氏下葬You alone,huh就我一个人No oneto claimher,buried unnamed.很多人订过那间客房Alone.hearts;暴风雨要来了There arecenturies ofnames inthat book.是啊没错Storm coming.恕我直言男人应该给女人让路Yes,thereis.Excuse me.You moveforalady.我们把梦塑造成一出戏We castour dreamsasaplay.问题是由谁来扮演各个角色以将潜意识显化出来谁来扮演各个角色Who fillseach roleso wemay bringthe unconsciousto consciousness为什么是他们Who playseach role嘿别碰他那是传染病And why莉莲不需要阿波罗的原谅Hey!Dont touch.It*s contagious.她需要原谅自己Lillian didntneed Apollosforgiveness.原谅自己的机会就在这扇门后She neededher own.年纽约整年腥风血雨And itlaid behindthis verydoor.1981就连莉莲也无法幸免于难1981wasabloody yearinNewYork.那天她看到一个震惊的画面Even Lilliancould notescape theviolence.爸不要She hadseen somethingthat day.一个她永远都忘不了的画面No,Daddy!爸不要Something shecouldneverunsee.让她再次变了个人Daddy!No!莉莲我知道你做过什么我知道的And ithad changedher oncemore.你这是要吊我胃口的吗I knowwhat youdid,Lillian.I know.很好你快把我逼疯了知道吗So,youre reallyjust gonnamake mewait,huh对亲爰的没错Yeah.You reallymakemecrazy,you knowthat一会儿见Yeah,sweetie.Yeah.她来过这里很久以前在那心惊胆颤的夜晚See youlater.这个房间守着一个她发誓永远不会说出去的秘密She hadbeen herebefore.That night.That longago,terrible night.hearts;但没有不透风的墙到时必要付出代价This roomthat helda secretshe sworeshed nevertell.(艾尔克酒店莉莲韦斯]But secretswant out,and priceswill bepaid.(年月)那是你爸的物品箱19881hearts;hearts;有人留在家门口That wasyour fathersbox.(相信自己不理解的事)Someone leftit atthedoor.(会招致痛苦)聊聊其他的吧该聊什么呢So,tell mesomething else.要认识一个人就要了解他整个人生历程What shouldItellyour通通告诉我吧Well,you cantknowanything untilyouknoweverything.(当你看到这段文字时我已经走了)So,everything itis.很难想象她后来变成了怎样的人莉莲现在怎么办It wasunimaginable whathad becomeof her.莉莲现在怎么办以后怎么办What now,Lillian告诉我你们的人生历程我就让你们知道各位是怎样的人What now,Lillian Whatthen这不是她最后一次抱住一个死去的人Tell meyour story,and Iwill tellyou whoyou are.如果你对数据很在意那她一生抱过死人三次这是第一次It wouldntbe thelast timeshed holda dyingman.这就像是大灾难的前兆If yourea sticklerfor numbers,then thiswouldbethefirstof three.一个人离开家园重获自由It isa tremorleading tothe quake.hearts;hearts;老家和故土因此发生天翻地覆的变化One personmoves away,breaks free,问题是自由的代价是什么creates aseismic shiftinafamilyandintheland.hearts;hearts;她有没有对逃离乌干达后所发生的一切负上责任But whatis thecost offreedom如果她留在老家Had shebeen responsiblefor allthat happenedafter shefled Uganda有没有可能改变家族的历史进程Could shehave changedthe course但她终究离开了老家of herfamilys historyhad shestayed后来“屠夫阿明”从奥博特手中夺取了政权But shehad left.hearts;hearts;开始屠杀她的族人And after,The Butcherhad seizedpower fromObotehearts;hearts;他们必须死.一切都没了消失殆尽and delivereda massacretoherpeople.试问哪个神明会让人遭受这种痛苦...they havetodie.-All weregone now.All gone.试问哪个神明会让她挨过如此漫长的路后给她重重的一击What godwould makepeople sufferso我不信神What godwould bringher allthis wayto smiteher now亚瑟No godof mine.很久以前莉莲就知道Arthur.世界上还有比神更真实的存在Lillian hadknown fora longtime她还记得那份憧憬that therewere realerthings thanthe Kingof Kingsright here.那份对美国的无限憧憬认为在美国一切都不再一样了She rememberedthe hope.纽约在她心里打开了一道缝隙让光重新渗透进去The unbridledhope thateverything could be differentin America.NewYorkhad openeda crackin her,andthelight hadcrept backin.让她找到梦想的空间她奶奶常说她有一把动听的嗓音She foundroom todream.也许她可以成为一个穿着亮片连身裙的酒吧驻唱歌手Her grandmotherhad alwayssaid shehadalovely voice.在尘埃飞扬的酒馆里hearts;高唱伤感情歌Maybe shecouldbea loungesinger ina sparklingdress,hearts;也许她会认识对象坠入爱河生下满屋的儿女belting outtorch songsin somedusty saloon.美国一个伟大的国度一个应许之地Maybe shewould meetsomeone,fallinlove,haveabunch ofkids.阿波罗我很喜欢这个地方也相信这个地方America theGreat.The promisedland.我能看到美国的梦想我也愿意为成为美国人而付出一切Apollo,I lovedthe place.I believedin it.只是有时候很多时候Icouldsee whatAmerica wantedto be,andIwould killtobeAmerican.我隐约觉得我必须把自己变得渺小But sometimes,most times,说话小心点笑得矜持点不能太张扬不能生气it mademe feela littlebit likeIhadtogetsmaller.你怎么就不懂呢Watch mywords andmy smiles.Cant gettoo big,cant beangry.Dont yousee不能引人注目那不是我们的宝宝Cant bevisible.阿波罗不知道你能不能感受到我对你的爱Thats notour baby!我在这世上做了一些错事但你绝对不是个错Apollo,have youheard mesay Ilove you*enough times但我却在你年纪轻轻时Ive madesome mistakesinthisworld.You arenot oneof them.把我的病加诸于你身上But Ilayered ontoyou,even atyour youngage,那股不安my own...dis-ease.Unease.那份恐惧不能太张扬要小声说话Fear.别说玩笑话也别太严肃Dont getbig.Dont speakloud.别引人注目Dont tella joke.Dont betoo seriouseither.别在店里发脾气Dont drawattention toyourself.千万别这么做Dont throwa tantruminthestore.阿波罗你年仅四岁就已经知道活在恐惧中的感觉Just dontdo that.我四岁那年这个大千世界给我留下最美好的回忆Apollo,at fouryears oldyou alreadyknew whatitfeltlike tolive lifeafraid.就是我跑到屋外看见奶奶弯腰给大铸铁锅内的油炸三角饼翻面When Iwas four,my favoritething inthe wholewide world这种小吃你没吃过吧如云朵般松软的三角饼was findingmy jajjaoutside,hunched overa bigiron pot,turning mandazis.热腾腾加入少许豆蔻粉You nevertasted those.Soft,fluffy doughnutclouds.少许肉桂粉等辛香料再放大量椰奶Hot andspiced witha littlebit ofcardamom,做油炸三角饼一定会被热油烫伤的a littlebit ofcinnamon andalotof coconutmilk.要做出口感完美的油炸三角饼Cant makea mandaziwithout gettingan oilburn.我们一定要放一种至关重要的材料To makeit tasteperfect inthe mouth,爱•那就是爱you mustadd thetoo,too,too importantingredient.她是个预言家每天每刻都在传授人生之道Love.-Love.莉莲人生的重大意义在于我们为挚爱所做的事She wasan oracle.Had alife lessonfor everyminute ofthe day.莉莲别让男人把你逼疯毕竟他们一定会这么做的Lillian,the importantthing inlife iswhat wedo forthe oneswe love.决定吃狗肉就要吃最肥的那只rLillian,dont letamanmake youcrazy,cause hewill try.幸运的话我们都会拥有一段关于厨房的记忆Lillian,if youdecide toeat adog,eat afat one.hearts;那股温暖那股香气来自于用爱心烹调的美食If were lucky,each ofus hasthe memoryofakitchen.无论我们是何人无论我们来自何方The warmthand aromaof somethingbeing cookedwith love.无论是用厨灶或铸铁锅我们都赋予了这份遗产Regardless ofwho weare,where werefrom,我是指幸运的话kitchen stoveor ironpot,weareall giftedthis heirloom.如今只剩下那个锅If we*relucky.给你亲爱的The potis allthats left.莉莲等你耗尽全力后There yougo,honey.那就向神灵求助Lillian,ask helpfromthespirits阿波罗我从没为你做过油炸三角饼知道为什么吗whenyouhave usedall yourstrength.因为我要你吃美国儿童常吃的食物Apollo,Inevermade youmandazis.Why我要你通过每天吃奶酪意粉Because I wantedyouto likeregular Americankid food.热狗和花生果酱三文治来融入这个社会I wantedyoutofit inwith yourmac andcheese diet但这些我都是用爱心做的and yourhot dogsand yourwhite breadPBJs.我知道你做了什么But Imade themwith love.暴风雨要来了I knowwhat youdid-漏水了给你桶Storm iscoming.水从天花板滴下来莱斯特我房里客户呢天啊Leak!Bucket!hearts;Its pissingthroughtheceiling,Lester.I gota fuckingguest,man.(这是你该待的地方)这年头管他们叫“客户〃了吗安吉莉卡你需要耐心等待我有我的速度Is thatwhat werecalling themnow你有你的速度真符合你的性子啊莱斯特Youll haveto waityour turn,Angelica.Fil getthere whenIgetthere.你慢慢来吧去你的Just likeyou,Lester.Youll getthere whenyougetthere.你知道就好亲爰的Take yoursnail-ass fuckingtime.我懂你在说什么人渣Si tusavais,cher.hearts;hearts;我想要小孩■你说什么I knowwhat thosewords mean,asshole.我希望有机会成为一个好丈夫和好爸爸I wantchildren.-Excuse me我认为我做得到你懂吗Iwantthe chancetobea goodhusband anda greatfather.。