2023年广州一模读后续写jobosonthehill讲义-高考英语作文复习专项

I I［续写原文Sandy andJane cameto seethe jobotree onthe hilltopagain.Jobos weretheirfavorite fruit,but thetree belongedto alady wholived in the housebythe hill.They heardshe wasdifficult,but thatsometimes shewould givefruit（差使）.in returnfor anerrandThe girlsfinally gatheredtheir courageto knockon herdoor.An elderlywoman with a fierce lookanswered,staring downat the girls.，“We heard…”said Sandy,her voiceshaky,“that yougive jobosinpayment forrunning anerrand.The ladyraised oneeyebrow,then wentinto thekitchen andtook twobaskets.She pushedthem into the girlshands.“Go fillthese withjobos,and comerightback.”The girlsraced upthe hillto thetree andfilled the baskets with the ripestjobos.Back atthe house,the ladyfilled abag withrice andhanded it to Sandy.Take thisbag andone basketof jobostotheBrown family.And askthem forthe payment,v the lady added with a tight smile.If youreturn withoutthepayment,you wont get the fruit.”The girlsstruggled allthe waywith thebag andthebasket.When theywerethere,Mrs.Brown answeredthe door.Inside onthe floorwere threelittlechildren,each paintingsomething onpapers.Mr.Brown waslying sickin bed.Times werehard.」The girlshanded herthe food.“This isfrom the lady withthe jobotree saidSandy.“She askedfor thepayment,too.Jane saidawkwardly.“The payment!The payment!”The childrenrepeated,waving thepaper intheirhands happily.Sandy andJane looked at each other strangely.With asmile,Mrs.Brown（密封的）handed Sandy a large sealed envelope so full that it was almoststartingto breakopen.The girlssaid goodbyeand leftquickly.Iwonder,“Sandy murmured,“whether Mrs.Brown canafford topay forthatfood.”段首句Worried,the twogirls discussedwhat wasintheenvelope asthey walkedback.The ladyopened theenvelope,took outa pileof papers,and smiled.主题人与社会，助人话题读后续写前文简介一对小女孩很喜欢果，但听说树的主人是一个难相处的女士，jobo jobo有时可以通过帮她跑腿获得果于是她们鼓起勇气询问了这个女jobo士，帮这个女士送东西给一家人，并须带回才可Mr Brown“payment”获得果后文的续写一般在阅读的前文中会埋下伏笔，我们在进jobo行续写时，要尽量贴近前文的内容，使得续写的故事与前文的故事情节能够和谐地衔接起来那我们如何找伏笔呢？如何找伏笔就这篇故事而言，我们在阅读中发现，作者有意识地多处刻画了the lady的神态，反复给读者强调这个传言比如“They heardshe wasdifficult”以下这几句They heardshe wasdifficult...An elderlywomanwithafiercelook...这种对人物同一方面细节的多处刻theladyaddedwithatight smile...画，我们就要留心了，是否作者此处的刻画是有意留伏笔呢在故事阅读到中后段时，出现对一家的家庭现状和情绪神态的描写也Mr Brown显得稍有矛盾，不合情理既然这一家子里，卧病在床，且Mr Brown还有三个年幼的娃要抚养，为什么在这一对姐妹提出时反而是payment兴奋开心而非愁闷呢，且这一对姐妹也表达出了其中的奇怪之处文中句子如下“The payment!The payment!,5The childrenrepeated,waving thepaper intheirhands happily.（密封的）With asmile,Mrs.Brown handedSandyalargesealedenvelopeso因此，阅读故事中感受到了fullthatitwas almost startingto breakopen.与故事背景有明显的矛盾或是不合情理之处，我们也要多留心，有可能是伏笔伏笔外显既然确定了伏笔，那续写的内容也比较好办了我们可以通过两种方式来确定写作内容原文They heardshe wasdifficult...续写“The paintings are the best payment for me.Mrs Brownhas a toughtime toget throughwith herhusband sickand threechildren tobring up.”Sandy andJane trulyfelt there wasa gentle heart underneath her tightsmile.原文“The payment!The payment!^The childrenrepeated,waving thepaperin theirhands happily.续写She placedher palmson envelope,reflected onthe familyand suddenly原文she claimed,Paintings!It mustbe the girls paintings!”“If youreturnwithout thepayment,you wonftgetthefruit.”续写“We didntcome backwiththepayment.关于此篇读后续写的第二段范本的看法续写的第二段内容，故事主题稍微有点偏，故事内容衔接上读起来感觉也不太流畅所以，重新根据自己的看法和对这篇故事的理解，对第二段续写内容重新改写了一个版本写作第二节（原范文第二段）The ladyopened theenvelope,took outa pileof papersand smiled.On thepaperswere colorfuldrawings fromthe children.At thisscene,Sandy andJane lookedat eachotherand smiled.Then,thegirlsgained theirpayment-full basketof ripejobos..For them,it turnedout thattheir errandnot onlygainedthem theirfavorite fruit,but alsoa sweettaste ofgetting paymentbytheir hardwork whenthey tooka bite,the juicewas assweet asthe feelinginsidetheir heart.写作第二节（修改范文第二段）The ladyopened theenvelope,took outa pileof papersand smiled.Asexpected,the papersare paintings.Without waitinggirls toask forjobos,thelady tookone basketof jobos,and pushedittothegirls.Holding thebaskettightly.Sandy andJanelookedateachother withcuriosity.We didnft comebackwiththepayment.Would youstill offerus thejobos”Sandyasked,with puzzledeyes.paintingsarethebestpaymentforme.Mrs Brownhasatoughtime toget throughwith herhusband sickand threechildren tobringup.theladyexplained.In hersympathetic voice,Sandy andJane trulyfelttherewasagentleheartunderneathhertightsmile.。