精细化人物描写技巧与语料积累讲义2023届高考英语作文备考

读后续写“3D立体”表现力精细化人物描写语料积累（）问题描述在描写人物的时候，很多学生经常犯的问题就是“过于直白”，例如想描述一个开心，那么就会直接表达为“...isveryhappy/joyful/checrful.”，同汇积累相对比较丰富的同学可能会写出“...iswildwithjoy.，但是都反映出句子表达单薄，平铺直叙，缺少说服力以及生动性的问题

（二）解决方案针对上述问题，我们可以通过“内外兼顾”原则进行解决所谓“内”，就是人物的内心想法与感受，所谓“外”，就是当人物有了想法或者感受的时候，一定会有外在的、可视的动作、表情、或语言体现出他的“内”，因此当我们在描述人物的时候，需要把“内”和“外”一同进行陈述，形成有机的整体，才能让人物立体起来，呈现出3D效果，跃然纸上

（三）具体方法◊人物内在纬度思考与次定（沉思、改变主意、突发奇想等）感情与动机（开心、失望、尴尬、愤怒、害怕、迷惑等）＜人物外在纬度语言音容笑貌（抽泣、大哭、大笑、微笑、苦笑、瞪眼等）动作（握紧拳头、逃走、理解地点头、嘀咕、大喊等）一个描述人物的句子，可以包含“内”“外”两个纬度，选择2-3个元素结合写，例如可以是“思考”+“语言”（2个元素），也可以是“感情”+“表现”+“动作”（3个元素），立体地将人物的内心与外显表达出来例句演示按照上述的方法，我们把学生修改前的句子和修改后的句子进行对比:

（四）语料积累按照这个思路，在平时积累语料的时候，就要兼顾“内”和“外”，让学生在写作时能够自主进行应用I）开心与感动例句应用2悲伤、失望、与愤怒例句应用3）惊慌与恐惧例句应用修改前修改后分析1Tomfeltextremelysad.HidinghisfaceinhishandsTomwastryingtoholdthetearsfeelingoverwhelmedbysadness.现在分词-动作（外）主句•音容笑貌（外）现在分词-感受（内）2Lilyrantohermotherandgaveherahug.AwildjoyfulnesstakingholdofherLilythrewherselfintomothertsarmsexclaiming“Mom.youreback!”独立主格-感情（外）主句•动作（外）现在分词-语言（外）3Lucyfeltunbearablyangry.Lucysvoicebeginningtochokewithemotionangerboiledoverher.独立主格-音容笑貌（外）主句-感受（内）内外动作音容笑貌wildwithjoy...humatunemerrily...flashasmile.Joywellsupinsidesb.sbbreakintosmile.Fullorregainedhopc/confldcnccSbissodelightedtobreakintodancing/laugter.Awildjoyfulnesstakesholdofsb.Onesfacebroadensoutintoagrin....feelasurgeofexcitemenc/happinessOneseyesarctwinkling/shiningwithpleasure/satisfaction/delight/expectations.withalightheartSbgrinsfromcartocar.Onesheartleapswithjoy/delightTearsofgratitude/happinessaretwinklinginsbseyes....Awarmcurrentrisesinonesheartwithlightofhopeshininginoneseyes...feelhappybeyonddecripion/words/imagination.1内心思想+外在动作Wildwithjoy.Louiscouldnothelpbuthumatuncmcrrily.2外在动作+内心思想Hummingatuncmcrrily.Louisfeltfullofregainedhope.3外在表情+内在思想+外在语言Wearingashiningsmile.Michaelwaswildwithjoy.yellingCotneon!M4内在思想+外在表情JoywellingupinsideMichaelheworeashiningsmile.内外动作音容笑貌One$heartsinks.shedtearsofjoy/sarrow/disappointmentci-ystaltearslikebrokenpearlsroll/streamdownonescheeks...feelfurious/irritatedOnesvoiceischokingwithemotion.onesfacecloudswithconcern.Angerboilsoversb.Oneshandstremblewitheagernessassb...throughmistyeyesAngerboilsfromthebottomofoneshearthideonesfaceinhigherhands.tearsmistoneseyesAngerengulfssb.stamponesfeethardinangertearsbreakfreeAngerriseswithinsb.glareatsbtearsbluronesvision/eyesblurtout/spitoutliftanaccusingeyebrowdash/sprintup/downthestairsonthevergeoftearsoneshandsarcstiffwithcold.chokewithsobsstonn/rush/dash+into...beginstoweepslamthedoorfuriously.onesfacetwistswithragewaveonesfistoneseyesareburningOneshandsclenchedintofists.flushwithangerAnannoyedexpressionbrieflycrossesonesface.gvicsbaglimpscHook/glanceoffury/annoyance.withonesblood-shoteyesfixedon...1内在思想+外在动作+外在语言KeelingfuriousLouisstampedherfeethardinangerblurtingout**Getout!M2外在动作+内在思想Glaringattheboy.LouisHushedwithanger.3外在表情+外在思想EyesburningLouisglaredatheboywithoutblink.4内在思想+外在表情AngcrboilingoverLoius.hislacctwistedwithrage.内外动作音容笑貌feelaninnerbattlegoingonspringintoactioneyesarcwideopensbsmindgoesblank.springtoonesfeetonesfbrehedbedouedwithbeadsofsweat.wait/sit...onpinsandneedlesholdoesbreathbenumbwithshockfeellikesittingonpinsandneedlestrytoadjustonesbreathinashakyvoice.sbsstomachtightensintoabigknotbebreathlesssbsheartjumpsoutofoneschesttakeadeepbreathbefilledwithamixtureoffearandworrytiptoeinto...withaheavyhearttremble/shakewithfearTheshiveroffeargoesdown/passesthroughonesspine.berootedtothespotinpanic/ierrorpaceupanddownfearcreepsoversbtaponthedesk.afloodoffearwellsupinsblakeinalungfulofmuchneededairinastonishmentbercstlcss/outofbrcath/brcathlcssgetantsinone*spantsgatherallofonesstrengthodo...tremblefromheadtotoegrasp/gripsthwithtremblinghands1内在思想+外在动作FearcreepingalloverTom.hetriedeveryefforttoadjusthisbreath.2内在思想+外在动作+外在表情FeelinganinnerbattlegoingonLouiswasrootedothespotwithmouthwideopen.3内在思想+外在动作Withtheshiveroffeargoesdownhisspine.Tommytrembledfromheadtotoe.4内在思想+外在动作Withaheaveyheart.Lilytakeinalungfulofmuchneededair.。