Beef《怒呛人生（2023）》第一季第五集完整中英文对照剧本

注意右侧Onyourright.你这是崔克SLR9型？•是啊IsthatanSLR9-Sureis.太厉害了我原来有一辆Thatscrazy.Iusedtohaveoneofthose.是吗？•不过我现在不骑碳纤维的了Yeah-1dontdocarbonanymorethough.铝制的才是王道Aluminumisjusttheking.是啊我在考虑要不要换一辆YeahIwasthinkingaboutmakingtheswitch.你骑到哪里？Howfaryouheaded就骑到老托潘加峡谷然后返回-太巧了我也是JustdownOldTopangaandback.-Ohwordmetoo.很高兴今天能有个骑友•没错Itsnicetohavearidingpartnertoday.-Definitely.对了我叫乔治ImGeorgebytheway.嘿我是赞恩Hey.ImZane.怒呛人生内心如此隐秘的生物该死的居家软禁再加上这个？Ugh.Fuckinghousearrestandnowthis我最不能相信的是我竟然被戴脚环了IcantbelieveIgotshinglesontopofeverythingelse.伙计这确实让人焦虑Itsstressdude.用你内心的力量做到心无旁鹫Powerofthemind.Mindovermatter.这是疱疹的力量-鲍比你给我闭嘴Itsthepowerofherpes.-ShutthefuckupBobby.嘿我说的是带状疱疹Yoherpeszoster.别再说‘疱疹〃这个词了-这是水痘Stopsayingherpes”・Itschickenpox.不是任何事都能用科学说得通这能帮你放松Noteverythingisscience.Ithelpstorelax.放松？谢了迈克尔我该怎样放松？感到悲伤feelsad.让我心里有一种Givesmelikea...黏糊糊的感觉astickyfeelinginside我也说不清楚就好像在我的胸口我的双腿之间Idontknowlikeinmychest；inmylegs.我不知道我脑子里出现了这些感受IdontknowImjustlikegoingoffthetopofmyhead.你还好吗？我说得不对吗？我就是…YouokayDidIdothatwrongThatwas-不你说得很棒Nono.Youdidgreat.Um...我说不好Idontknow有时候我觉得自己是个骗子你懂吗？sometimesIjustfeellikeafraudyouknow我爸爸去世的时候Whenmydadpassedaway我第一个想法是“也不知道他是不是怀着失望走的”myfirstthoughtwasIwonderifhedieddisappointed.没有人说过不是所以・・・Nooneevertoldmeotherwisesoum...你说得很好谢谢谢谢你Thatwasreallynice.Thankyouthankyou.不用客气你有天赋Yeahnoproblemman.Imeanyougotthegift.我真的太高兴能认识你了ImsogladImetyouman.最近我感觉有些孤独Ivebeenkindoflonelylately.我妻子一直忙于做出那些重大的人生决定我都说不上话Mywifesbeensobusymakingallthesebiglifedecisionswithoutme.我知道我们才刚认识Iknowwejustmet但我感觉你真的很有心butIfeellikeyouactuallycare.你是一个好人Youreagoodperson.我对这些事感觉很准的Ihaveagoodsenseaboutthesethings.谢谢了Thanksman.我得赶紧去打个电hearts;话hearts;没关系吧？Igottamakeaquickcallifthatscool好的请便好■我马上回来Yeah.Yesplease.Yeah.-Illberightback.嗨丹尼怎么了？・迈克尔YoDanny.Whatsup-Michael.嘿伙计计划取消了好吧？我没时间解释Heydudeplansoff.OkayIdonthavetimetoexplain.什么？你把漏水修好了吗？WhatDidyoudotheleak是的但是这里没什么值得偷的Yeahbuttheresnothingworthstealinghere.他们至少有电视是吧？-是的他们有电视TheygotaTVthoughdontthey-YeahtheyhaveaTV.但就算了吧好不好？-我们东西都买hearts;hearts;好了Butjustforgetitokay-Wealreadygotallthestuffman.你什么意思？放回去就行•都在购物车里了WhatdoyoumeanJustputitback.-Itsinthecart.不能放回去这样不好-没什么不好的Youcantputitback.Itsrude.-Itsnotrude.伙计如果你不想做那我们去做把她地址发过来Dudeifyouwontdoitthenwewill.Sendmeheraddress.不行我不会给你■别逼我们自己查我们会查到的NoIamnotgivingyoutheiraddress.-Don*tmakeuslookitup.Wellfindit.我们不能偷这家Werenotrobbingthishouse.拜托！-就这样Comeon.Dude!-Endofstory.计划取消了Plansoff.周家这俩人见鬼了-是啊FuckingChosman.-Yeah.现在怎么力Sowhatnow听听滴水声Listenfortricklingwater.嗨有什么事吗？Hi.CanIhelpyou哩.哩\、、J\、、Hey.-Hey.我们刚好开车路过这里Wewerejustdrivingbyintheneighborhood我们发现…我们是管道工■我们是管道工andwenoticed-Wereplumbers.-Wereplumbers.我们发现你家可能漏水了Wenoticedthatyoumighthavealittlewaterleak.你们挺厉害怎么发现的？可能是有针孔漏点Youguysaregood.Howdyouknow-Youcouldhaveapinholeleak.水质硬就会这样•是的Itscausedbyheavyminerals.-Yup.作为专业人士我必须告诉你这样不安全AndIgottatellyouasprofessionalsitsnotsafe.现在那里可能已经长了危险的霉菌Therecouldbedangerousmoldgrowinginthererightnow.我们建议你立刻搬出来如果你愿意的话我们可以处理好Werecommendyougetoutimmediatelysowecantakecareofitifyoudlike.感谢你们这么说但我需要听听别人的意见YouknowIappreciatealltheinfobutImgonnagetasecondopinion.我们是两个人所以…Therestwoofusso...我有一个意见他有一个这就是两个意见了Ihaveanopinionhesgotone.Therestwoofthemthere.没错谢谢你们保重•越是拖着Imsure.Thankyouguys.Takecare.-Thelongeryouwait情况就越糟糕-糟糕得多theworseitsgonnaget.-Wayworse.我完全可以看出他们在骗我Icouldtotallytelltheywerescammingme.于是我看了几个视频买hearts;hearts;了几个风扇SoIwatchedafewvideosIboughtafewfans然后我关了水管阀门andthenIturnedoffthewatervalve.都是我自己干的Allbymyself.不过可能是有一些霉菌Theremightbesomemoldthough所以我们在外面住的时候得找人来检测一下sowellhavetocallsomepeopleintocometestitwhilewereaway.什么？What我在奥哈伊找到了一家爱彼迎IfoundusanAirbnbinOjai.奥哈伊！Ojai!艾米下班后会来找我们Amysgonnameetusafterwork.我知道Iknow.我也希望一起去的是我们俩Iwishitcouldbeusgoinginstead.别这样Stopit.我也想你了Imissyoutoo.好的我得挂了我还要收拾Okayokay.WellIgottago.Igottacleanup.我回来了就打给你好吧？rilcallyouwhenIcomebackokay我也爰你Iloveyoutoo.再见米娅ByeMia.要想着我我等不及你回来了再见Wellthinkaboutme.Icantwaituntilyougetback.Bye.打扰一下？Uhexcuseme我的天中井夫人Ohmygosh.Mrs.Nakai.好的来了Okay.Yeah.艾米应该会随时出来Amyshouldberightoutlikeanysecond.对了我是米娅ImMiabytheway.我们应该没见过面但通过手hearts;机hearts;说过话Idontthinkweveevermetbutwevespokenoverthephone.我有一段时间没来这里了一直是这样的吗？Ihaventbeenhereinawhile.Isitalwayslikethis抱歉这里太混乱了Sorryforthemess.好多人刚刚辞职了Abunchofpeoplejustquit.收hearts;购hearts;的消息传出来后大家都在找工作Theacquisitionnewsgotoutandeveryoneslookingforjobs.我的儿媳无论走到哪里都会有混乱相随Chaosalwaysfollowsmydaughter-in-lawwherevershegoes.我想这就是为什么她和乔治是一对佳人IguessthatswhyherandGeorgemakesuchagreatpair.就像是阴和阳是吧？Itfsalmostlikeayin-yangright我儿子的花瓶卖hearts;hearts;得如何？Aremysonsvasesselling我认为现在的情况是人们很欣赏它们…Oh.YouknowIthinkwhatshappeningispeopleareadmiringthem—即使是最富有想象力的花瓶比如1970年代的雪瑞奇胖熔岩花瓶Eventhemostimaginativevaseslikethe70sScheurichFatLavas也仅限于红色或棕色釉werelimitedtoredorbrownglazes.小乔治花瓶的抽象本质TheabstractnatureofJojisvases反映「他制hearts;作hearts时涌现的创造力reflectthestateofemergencehesparticipatingin.我的天说起胖熔岩花瓶我都停不下来OhmyGod.DontgetmestartedonFatLavas.你应该和客人这样说Thatswhatyoushouldsaytothecustomers.是的Right.前几天我刚和乔治谈过他的上釉技术IwasjusttalkingtoGeorgeabouthisglazingtechniquestheotherday.我非常崇拜你们一家的艺术造诣Iadmiretheartistryinyourfamilysomuch.所以如果你需要助手Soifyoueverneedanassistant或者哪里的画廊要雇人我很乐意…orknowofanygallerieshiringIdbe-附近有卫生间吗？-有的那边转角就是Istherearestroomnearby-Oh.Yeah.Itsrightaroundthecorner.老天我只是在看一根内生的毛发OhmyGod.Iwasjustcheckinganingrownhair.不用解释•马上就好Noneedtoexplain.-Onesecond.富美你好Fumi.Hi.我不知道你要过来•我坐优步过来的Ididntknowyouwerecomingby.-1hadtheUberdropmeoff.你是不是忘了？■午餐Didyouforget-Lunch.我的天富美你知道的我最近简直忙翻了天OhmyGod.YouknowFumiitsbeensohecticlately.Um...我们可以改天吗？•可以的Canwereschedule-Thatsokay.反正我也只能吃个简餐•好的太好了Icouldonlydoaquickbiteanyway.-Okaygreat.Um-我一定保证下次留足时间这样我们可以大吃一顿Ellmakesuretobookenoughtimesowecanorderthewholemenu.我可以进去吗？■好当然MayI-Yeahofcourse.但是小乔治你为什么不找专业人士呢？ButJojiwhywouldntyoujustleavethattotheprofessionals确实有管道工说要帮忙但是我自己就修好了TheseplumbersdidstopbythehousebutIfixeditallbymyselt用我自己的双手youknowwithmyowntwohands.你的手是用来雕刻艺术品的Yousculptwithyourhands.妈妈我知道但自己终于有点用了我感觉很好IknowMombutitsnicetofeelusefulforonce.我马上开到奥哈伊了OhImpullingintoOjainow.我随后打给你好吧？想你爱你DIcallyoulaterallrightMissyouloveyou.你好乔伊斯我是富美HelloJoyce.ItsFumi.我就是打给你聊聊天Justcallingtochat.给我回电hearts;话hearts;再见Callme.Bye-bye.我是蕾妮请留言谢谢YouvereachedRenee.Leavemeamessage.Thanks.你好蕾妮我是富美我就是打给你聊聊天Hello；Renee.ItsFumi.Justcallingtochat.给我回电hearts;话hearts;再见Callme.Bye-bye.你好汤姆・中井夫人HelloTom-Mrs.Nakai.抱歉之前我没有回复你今天很忙SorryIdidntgetbacktoyouearlier.Busyday.没关系我只是跟进一下Thatsokay.Tmjustfollowingup.你从你儿媳那里借到那笔钱了吗？Wereyouabletogetthatloanfromyourdaughter-in-law我们本来今天早些时候要聊聊的但我不得不改时间Weweresupposedtospeakearliertoday.Ihadtoreschedule.听着作为你的会计师Listenasyouraccountant我得告诉你形势不妙Ihavetosaythingsarenotlookinggood.春树的遗产没有偿还能力我刚收到你的信hearts;用hearts;卡hearts;账单HarusestateisntsolventandIjustgotyourcreditcardstatement.我们之前聊过这个Wevespokenaboutthis.你需要养成新的消费习惯或找到新的收入来源Youneedtocreateanewbudgetorfindnewstreamsofrevenue.我明白IknowIknow.你刚刚收到了画廊还回来的月亮椅也许这次可以卖hearts;hearts;掉？YoujustgottheTamagochairbackfromthegallery.Maybefinallysell我不能卖hearts;hearts;你知道的Icantsellyouknowthat.即使我愿意乔治也绝不会同意AndevenifIwantedtoGeorgewouldneverletme.你想让我去和他谈谈吗？Youwantmetotalktohim不用请不要去Nopleasedont.春树在他很小时就离开了他他还放不下这件事HesstillnotoverHaruleavinghimsolittle.而且他去外地了Youknowhesoutoftown但我可以去他家挑出其他作品卖hearts;hearts;掉butIcangotohisplaceandpicksomeotherpiecestosell.汤姆可以吗？OkayTom这是最后一局我得去收拾点衣服带走Yolastround.Igottapackupsomeclothes.我哥就快回家了Mybrotherscominghomesoon.兄弟你不能总是躲着他你住在这里Brocantkeepavoidinghimman.Youlivehere.无所谓我继续跟你们住就好了Whatever.Tiljustkeepcrashingwithyouguys.我说不好伙计再住我就要收费了Idontknowman.Gonnahavetostartchargingyou.好的Allright.不我是认真的Noforreal.我们的房hearts;租也不便宜Imeanourplaceisntcheap.生意也不景气Marketsbeenshit.好吧没关系Yeah.Nothatscool.你就不能找你的糖妈忙你一把？Cantyoujustgetyoursugarmamatohelpyouout她不是我糖妈Shesnotmysugarmama.但她给过你现金而且她是个妈妈Imeanshegaveyoucashandshesamom.不行我们只是惺惺相惜的知己好吗？Nowerejusttwohumansconnectingallright我们关心彼此-关心你的肩hearts;Wecareabouteachother.-Careaboutthatdick.保罗我杀掉你的角色了PaulIkilledyou.伙计他也太敏感了Dudehessosensitiveman.（乔治最近似乎心不在焉赌城之旅后他就和我疏远了）（我理解你我朋友也不理解我了）（我把这个发给乔治他甚至什么都没说）我去Shit.（你也太性感了现在我想说各种屁话］（大笑你太幽默了谢谢你让我笑起来］（今天的工作糟透了）（乔治发现家里管道漏水所以我下班后得去奥哈伊找他）（或者你可以留下来让我修好你家的管道）（我们聊得越多你就越傻）（但说真的你从未独享过家里）（你应该邀请我过去）（好吧过来吧］你好Hi.你好Hi.听着我知道我说过这个LookIknowIsaidthisbefore但我们要相处的话就不能做任何身体上的事好吧？butifweregonnahangoutwecantdoanythingphysical.Okay好的Okay.JImtheonenaturaloneMakeiteasy....T这感觉太棒了Thatfeelssogood.我想让你吐口水Iwantyoutospitonit.WhereIcanlovehowIlikeIfIwantit）jWhateverkeepsmehigh...见鬼Ohshit.我hearts;操hearts;Fuck.你给我的感觉真棒Youfeelsogood.喜欢我的小妹妹吗？■喜欢Doyoulikemypussy-Yeah.喜欢它挤压你小hearts;弟hearts;弟hearts;的感觉吗Youlikehowitsqueezesyourcock该死我要高hearts;潮hearts;了FuckImgonnacomesohard.我要高hearts;潮hearts;f就要高hearts;潮hearts;f!Imgonnacomesohard.Imcoming!Tmcoming!就要高hearts;潮hearts;了！Imcoming!Imcoming!最近你让我思考了很多关于未来的事Soyougotmethinkingalotaboutmyownfuturelately.是吗？为什么？OhyeahHowso就是让我振作起来开始谋划Justlikegettingmyshittogetherstartingtoplanyouknow.好Yeah.那挺好的Thatsgood.我和丹尼吵过架之后就一直在我朋友家住IvebeencrashingatmyboysplaceeversincethefightwithDanny.他提过被捕的事情吗？Didhesayanythingaboutthearrest没有他给我发短hearts;信hearts;说我应该向我表哥道歉NohetextedmesomeshitabouthowIowemycousinanapology但去他的-去他的让他见鬼去吧butfuckthat.-Fuckthatandfuckhim.我不能老是住在我朋友家YouknowIcantcrashatmyboysplaceforever.如果我有自己的房hearts;子就能做点事情LikeifIhadmyownplaceIcouldmakesomemovesyouknow.甚至我哥都要买hearts;hearts;hearts;房hearts;hearts;子了Evenmybrotherisgettinghisownspotyouknow.好Yeah.我不知道就是…Idontknow；just...你觉得你能借我点钱吗？Youthinkyoucouldlendmesomemoney我会尽快还你FilpayitbackASAP.我就是…我需要启动资金然后…Ijust-Ineedajumpstartandthen...我知道我有这个能力很快就能成为像你这样的百万富翁IknowIhaveitinmetobeamillionairelikeyouinnotime.你说得好像我的成就很容易达成WellyoumakeitsoundlikewhatIachievedwaseasy.RelaxThanksMichael.HowamIsupposedtorelax他们发现我非法跨越州界严重盗窃袭击他人我完蛋了Theygotmecrossingstatelinesgrandlarcenyassault.Tmfucked.伙计我完蛋了Imfuckeddude.-是你表弟Itsyourcousin.别表现得太热情我想让他难受一下Dontbeallwelcomingandshit.Iwanthimtofeelbad.嗨好久不见兄弟你的无檐小便帽真不错Yolongtimeman.Sickbeaniebro.去你的Fuckyou.好吧・嗨丹尼Okay.-HeyDanny.进来吧很高兴见到你Comeonin.Nicetoseeyou.我要替咱俩坐牢去了你就带来了这个？Imgoingtoprisonforthebothofusandthatswhatyoubrought莎莉重油蛋糕？・我・・・SaraLeepoundcake-1—我就是顺路买hearts;hearts;了Ijustmadeaquickstop.随便吧去切一下Whatever.Cuttheshitup.要厚切的微波炉热15秒Thickslices.Putitinthemicrowavefor15seconds.好吧搞什…Okay.Whatthe...你觉得这里面有麹质吗？■全都是获质YouthinktheresgluteninhereThewholefuckingthingisgluten.嘿其实Heyyouknow我试过和警hearts;察hearts;解释不全是你的错Itriedtotellthecopsitwasntallyou但他们不相信我buttheywouldntbelieveme.是吗？你跟警hearts;察hearts;说了？■是的就说…YeahYoutoldthecops-1did.Like—他们知道卡车和公hearts;司hearts;在你名下所以就…Theyknewthetruckandbusinesswereunderyournamesoitslike...不我只是说…NoImjustsayinglike-我想说我也可以成功ImsayingIcoulddoittoo.好的Okay.你现在觉得我不行吗？Whatlikenowyoudontthinkso保罗成功不仅仅需要好的意愿WellPaulitjusttakesalotmorethangoodintentions.我累死累活干了很多年Ihavebustedmyassforyears.我牺牲了我的幸福牺牲了我家人的幸福这…Ivesacrificedmywell-beingthewell-beingofmyfamily.It-不可能一夜之间就成为百万富翁的Itsnotmillionaireinnotime.如果你不想给我钱直说就行Ifyoudontwanttogivemethemoneyjustsayso.不必像夕表hearts;子hearts;一样扯些有的没的老天爷Youdon*thavetobeabitchaboutit.JesusChrist.你该走了Youshouldleave.我是认真的给我滚出去Imdeadserious.Getthefuckout.没问题Word.没人能在我家叫我姨hearts;子hearts;滚出去Nobodycallsmeabitchinmyhome.Getout.工作不是你生活一团糟的原因Youknowworksnotthereasonyourlifesafuckingmess.嘿娜奥米HeyNaomi.我看到乔治的帖子了真可爱IsawGeorgespost.Socute.你们在奥哈伊做什么呢？-我准备现在开车去那边WhatareyouguysdoinginOjai-Fmabouttodrivetherenow.家里需要处理一些问题所以他就用居家度假给了我惊喜Werehavingsomeworkdoneonthehousesohesurprisedmewiththestaycation.他真体贴Hessothoughtful.我丈夫从来不会做这种事Myhusbandneverdoesstufflikethat.是啊乔治他…他很特别YeahGeorgeis-Hesprettyspecial.对不起我嗓子有点不舒服•没关系Sorrytheresatickleinmythroat.-Noworries.嘿帮我个小忙Heysosmallfavor我刚刚被提名为《卡拉巴萨斯型格》明年的值得关注人物IjustgotnominatedfornextyearsPeopletoWatchinCalabasasStyle我希望你能写一封推荐信…andIwashopingthatyoucouldwritearecommendationletter-抱歉刚才那句我没听到你能再说一遍吗？ImsorryIdidnthearthat.Canyousaythatagain没关系我是说我被提名为明年的值得关注人物…Ohnoworries.IwassayingthatFmupfornextyearsPeopletoWatchand-娜奥米其实我有一些工作要做YouknowwhatNaomiIhavesomeworktodo.我随后再打给你好吗？Can1callyoubacklater没问题随时给我回电hearts;话hearts;Sure.Sureyeah.Callmebackwhenever.你好Hi.因为我想让你们知道尽管所有人都不认同这个观点Iwantyoutoknowthatdespitewhateverybodytellsyou但是你能拥有一切你可以的youcanhaveitall.Youcan.-Wow.自命不凡的姨hearts;子hearts;Stuck-upbitch.我当时坐在自己的车里突然有位女士Iwassittinginmycarandallofasudden从她那完美无瑕的白色SUV车里向我鸣笛thiswomanjuststartshonkingatmefromherfuckingperfectwhiteSUV.然后她在我的卡车上喷涂“我是个贱hearts;人hearts;〃AndthenshefuckingtagsmytruckwithImabitch.这是正常的行为吗？Isthatnormalbehavior嘿保安？我觉得…我觉得有一些喝大了的外人进来了HeysecuritySecurityIthinksomedrunktouristshavewanderedin.（菲鲁兹A求助!路怒事件!）你确定这些都是那辆SUV里的东西？YouresureallthesecamefromtheSUV邻居说他们看见司机从车窗往外扔垃圾Neighborsaidtheysawthedriverthrowtrashoutthewindow.我把能找到的都收集起来了IgatheredeverythingIcouldfind.也许是那辆卡车扔的我说不好MaybefromthetruckIdontknow.你有没有看到那辆卡车上写着Youwouldn*thappentohaveseenifthetruckwastagged我是个贱hearts;人hearts/withImabitch什么？Excuseme我认识一个邻居开白色SUVIknowaneighborwhodrivesawhiteSUV.可能是她Itcouldbeher.但你有证据吗？Butdoyouhaveproof没有但是…我感觉是她Nobut...Ihaveahunch.她不太尊重其他人Shedoesnrthavemuchregardforothers.我收到了12条关于这一带白色SUV的线索WellIreceived12othertipsaboutwhiteSUVsinthearea.都很令人信服They*reallconvincing.但警hearts;察hearts;一点忙都帮不上Butthecopsarenohelp.我会帮你的菲鲁兹OhIllhelpyouFirouz.虽然我平时很忙但这件事对我很重要Imaverybusywomanbutthisisimportanttome.而且我奉行…•我没收到最新的《卡拉巴萨斯》AndIwillnot--1nevergotthenewCalabasasStyle.（《卡拉巴萨斯型格》）感觉有人在偷我的邮件YouknowIthinksomeoneisstealingmymail.请拿走吧Pleasetakeit.其实我被提名为明年的值得关注人物了ImactuallyupfornextyearsPeopletoWatch.真厉害Ohimpressive.这绝非易事Thatisnoeasyfeat.谢谢你Thankyou.我知道这种名单很傻WellIknowlistsaresilly.我要是知道自己拜访的是位名人HadIknownIwasvisitingacelebrity肯定要带上可以签名的东西Iwouldhavebroughtsomethingtoautograph.老天别这么说OhmyGodstop.你想喝点什么吗？Doyouwantanythingtodrink30秒后启动防护Armingin30seconds.

四、

三、二…Fourthreetwo-解除防护Disarmed.-我是汤姆琼斯注册会计师请留言我会回电YouvereachedtheofficesofTomJonesCPA.-Leaveamessageandfllgetbacktoyou.-嘿汤姆你觉得月亮椅能卖hearts;hearts;多少钱？HeyTom.HowmuchdoyouthinktheTamagowillsellfor我准备卖hearts;hearts;掉它IthinkImgoingtosellit.我儿子和他妻子感情上出了一些大岔子Therearesomedisruptiveeventshappeningbetweenmysonandhiswife.可能会影响我的财务状况给我问…Itmayaffectmyfinances.Callmeba-这些有钱人装了花俏的系统但是都不用Theserichpeoplegetthesefancysystemsanddontevensetthem.瞧瞧这里多富贵■我的计划仍然会奏效Lookatallthismoney.-Myplanwouldveworked.在两分钟内大偷特偷可不算是计划Yeahsmashingandgrabbingeverythinginundertwominutesisn*taplandude.因为你一紧张就僵住了Causeyoufreezeunderpressure.因为在战斗或逃跑的情况下我选择战斗懂吗？Thatscauseinfightorflight；Imfight.Youunderstand我试图原地做好准备激活我的核心保持躯干绷紧Imtryingtostayputactivatemycorekeepmytrunksolid.你不知道会不会有人冒出来你得把他们打翻Youdontknowifsomeonewillpopoutandyougottaknockthemout.嘿如果我感到有一丝的危险…YoifIsenseevenalittlebitofdangerpew!我一定会选择逃跑大韩航hearts;空hearts;Imflightbaby.KoreanAir.好吧胆小鬼Yeahyoureabitch.老天爷你看这个东西看这个东西多花俏Holyshit.Lookatthisthingdude.Lookatthisfancything.很有《甲壳虫汁》的感觉是吧？ItslikeonsomeBeetlejuiceshithuh所有的凹凸起伏我打赌这个肯定很值钱Allthoselumpsandbumps.Ibetitsworthsomuch.看起来像疱疹便便Lookslikeherpespoo-pooed.我就是说说对于一个没得这病的人Imsayingyoureobsessed.你简直走火入魔了Forsomeonewhosupposedlydoesnrthaveit你总是念叨这个病youtalkaboutitallthetime.不我说的是这一族的病毒我说的是单纯疱疹病毒1型2型NoImtalkingaboutthefamily.TmtalkingHSV-1HSV-

2.我说的是带状疱疹儿童EB病毒ImtalkingzosterEpstein-Barr.有这个名字的病毒可真不幸Ughwhatanunfortunatenameforavirusyouknow.你们这帮王八蛋！一见鬼Youmotherfuckers!-Ohfuck.该死！Shit!-jSuchalonelydayanditsmine/ThemostloneliestdayofmylifeJSuchalonelydayshouldbebanned...J老天爷啊OhmyGod.我认识这家人Iknowwholivesthere.jThemostloneliestdayofmylifejThemostloneliestdayofmylifejSuchalonelydayshouldntexistJjItsadaythatIllnevermissJjSuchalonelydayanditsmineJ}ThemostloneliestdayofmylifeJAndifyougoIwannagowithyou/jAndifyoudieIwannadiewithyouJTakeyourhandandwalkawayJ如果你没偷那台冰箱这一切都不会发生Noneofthiswouldrvewentdownifyoudidntstealafridge.谁会给迷你冰箱登记？简直见鬼了WhoregistersaminifridgeWhatthefuck如果你弟弟没偷走卡车这一切都不会发生NoneofitwouldVewentdownifyourbrotherdidntstealthetruck.这是那个卖hearts;hearts;植物的姨hearts;子hearts;的错Thisisthatplantbitchsfault.是吗？那个卖hearts;hearts;植物的姨hearts;子hearts;会负担我的律师费吗？YeahTheplantbitchwillshepaymylegalfees会还你欠我的两万美元吗？Paybackthe20Kyouoweme我就在想“这姨hearts;子hearts;不可能是白手起家的”IgottothinkingTheresnowaythisbitchisself-made.那些对于自食其力负担全家开销的吹嘘？Allthatbraggingaboutpouringmilkintomouths闭嘴吧骗子你在说什么？■你hearts;他hearts;妈hearts;在说什么呢？Shutupliar.Whatareyoutalking--Thefuckareyoutalkingabout!卖hearts;hearts;植物的姨hearts;子hearts;负担全家你在说什么呢？Theplantbitchthemilkwhatareyoutalkingabout她没嫁给白人这件事一直让我疑惑Italwaysfuckedwithmeshewasntmarriedtosomewhitedude.你猜怎么着？Andguesswhat她的丈夫是一位著名日本艺术家的儿子herhusbandisthesonofabigJapaneseartist.她嫁进了艺术世家Dudeshemarriedintoartmoney.他们有好多值钱的东西我们可以偷Theygotallthiscrazyshitwecouldsteal.真的是这样他告诉了我很多他父亲作品的事Noforreal.Hetoldmeallabouthisfatherspieces.你现在和她丈夫混在一起了？•别担心我没告诉他我的真名Yourehangingoutwiththehusbandnow-DontworryIdidnttellmyrealname.我告诉他我叫赞恩IintroducedmyselfasZane.见鬼Oh!-Fuck.你去玩角色扮演了？You*reouttheredoingfuckingcosplay!你接下来要这么做完成教堂的工作Hereswhatyoulldo.Youllfinishworkingatthechurch然后我来兑现那张支票我来兑现！andthenIllcashthatcheck.Tmgonnacashit!你工作我拿钱YouworkIcash.然后我会继续拿钱AndthenImgonnakeepcashing.我会一直拿钱直到足以请律师让我免于牢狱之灾懂吗？rilkeepcashingtillIcanpayoffthelawyertokeepmeoutofjailokay你同意吧？Isthatcool你能做到吧？Doesthatworkforyou看到照片了吗？Youseethat我在韩国城暴hearts;乱hearts;的现场就在镜头之外Iwasthere.K-Townriots.Justoffofframe.如果他们用的镜头再宽一点我就名垂青史了IftheyjustusedthewiderlensIdbeinthehistorybooks.见鬼这玩意真好吃Ohfuckdudethisisgood.你们尝了吗？Youguystrythis老兄这东西太沉了Thisshitissoheavybro.什么破工作Fuckthisjob.搞什么鲍比？枪的事我怎么跟你说的？WhatthefuckBobbyWhatdidItellyouaboutthegundude怎么了？-拜托这里是教堂What-Comeonthisisachurch.放车里吧•放松我忘了放了Putitinthecar.-Relax.Iforgot.记得迪克吗？还有他那些朋友？RememberDickRememberhimandhisfriend我不认识什么迪克现在谁还会给孩子起名迪克？IdontknowanyDicksbro.WhosnamingtheirkidDickanymore我说的是前副总统迪克切尼TheformervicepresidentDickCheneyiswhoImtalkingaboutdude.伙计他一枪就打在他朋友脸上了Heshothisfriendinthefuckingfacedude.好吧我会放车里的Fine.Illputitinthecar.你听说过哈佛大学的那个乌鸦研究吗？DidyoueverhearoftheHarvardcrowstudy我进过哈佛的候补名单■我知道IgotwaitlistedatHarvard.-1know.他们让一个人戴着迪克切尼的面具对乌鸦做坏事TheyputthisdudeinaDickCheneymaskandhewasmeantothesecrows乌鸦会告诉其他乌鸦andthecrowstalkedtoothercrows.无论全国何处只要切尼出现AlloverthecountrynomatterwhereCheneywas乌鸦就会袭击他crowswouldattackhisass.他们会对着他的脸叽叽喳喳地叫还会啄他Theydbechirpingathisfacejustpeckinghimandshit.我也进过德州大学奥斯汀分校的名单IgotintoUTAustinaswell.挺好的Dope.嗨两位感谢你们的帮忙Yothanksforhelpingwiththisguys.我们就是为了赚钱Werejustheretogetpaidman.挣得不够多是吧？•懂我意思吧？Notpaidenoughright-KnowwhatImean嘿我听说你们两年前开始为艾萨克做事HeyIheardyouguysstartedworkingforIsaacabouttwoyearsago.他是这么说的？为他做事不是和他一起做事？IsthatwhathesaidWorkingforhimnotwithhim我们小时候他就是这样Hesbeendoingthatsincewewerekids说什么大家都平等但最后总是他当上老大tellingyouthatyoureequalsbuthealwaysendsupbeingthealpha.他也就做梦是老大•他连老二都算不上Hewisheshewasalpha.-Dudesnotevenabeta.是啊他顶多是老六一身软骨头的老六Yeahnoheslikezeta.CatherineZeta-Jones.什么？What行吧Cool.是那家伙一点远见都没有Yeah.Yeahdudesgotnovision.没错不过我有远见只是没人认可我的远见YeahIgotvisionthough.Justnoonecanseemyvisionbutme.你那个抢劫艺术品的主意？Yoyourartheistidea实在太牛了■没错Fuckingfuego.-Yup.谢谢了Thanksman.她升级了自家的安保系统Sheupgradedhersecuritysystem但我进去过一次就能再进去butIgotinbeforeIcangetinagain.你上次做了什么Whatdidyousteallasttime我…Iuh...我尿了她家卫生间一地Ipissedalloverherbathroom.很大一泡Likegallons.很厉害Verycool.我自称建筑承包商就直接进去了ItoldherIwasacontractorandwalkedrightin.我们也可以说自己是承包商Yowecouldsaywerecontractors.没错Yup.不行我已经用过这招了所以…NahIalreadydidthatonesoyouknow...但你们知道的有想法就好Wellyouknowbuttheresnobadideas.我和艾萨克不一样大家都能说上话ImnotlikeIsaac.Thisisathree-waystreet.你有什么想法吗？Whatdidyouhaveinmind赞恩我的朋友一嗨Zanemyman.-Yo.谢谢你能过来我知道太仓促了Thanksforcomingman.Iknowitwasshortnotice.谢谢你邀请我Manthanksforhavingme.通常我得带领唱诗班排练但我今天休息InormallyhavetoleadpraisebandrehearsalbutIhaveadayoff.我认识你Iknowyou.抱歉她见到陌生人就怪怪的一挺好的Sorry.Shesweirdaroundnewpeople.-Ohnoitrs...进来吧Comeonin.哎呀你家真漂亮Ohmanbeautifulhome.这个厨房hearts;永不过时Thisisatimelesskitchenman.谢谢赞恩Ah.ThanksZane.我认识你Iknowyou.宝贝不能这样好吗？不能这样欢迎新客人Sweetiewedontdothat.OkayThatrsnothowwegreetnewguests.等一下我给她点糖果Onesecletmegethersomecandy.嘿我有彩虹糖■是吗？在你兜里？OhheyIhavesomeSkittles.-OhyoudoInyourpocket我爰吃甜食Gotasweettooth.请给我一些好吗？CanIhavesomeplease如果赞恩给你你可以别再说“我认知你〃了吗？IfZanegivesyousomeareyougonnastopsayingIknowyou我卡车里总是带着一包Ialwayskeepabaginmytruck你随时都可以向我要好吧？-好的soanytimejustask.Okay-Okay.能用下你家卫生间吗？■可以直走到头左手边CanIuseyourbathroom-Yeah.Straightdowntotheleft.谢谢Thanks.别错怪好人Uhdontshootthemessenger但我觉得你家管子漏了butIthinktheresaleakinyourplumbing.我听到瓷砖后面有滴答声Iheardsometricklingbehindthetiles.见了个软糖圣代的鬼啊Fudgesundae.真的吗？-是的我觉得是Really-YeahIthinkso.可恶Shoot.我得给艾米打电hearts;话hearts;WellIgottacallAmy.她处理所有的家务事-伙计我们就能处理Shehandlesallthehousestuff.-Dudewecanhandlethis.这样吧我们查一下YouknowwhatLetsdosomeresearch.我现在就查一下-不用太麻烦了rildotheresearch.-Noitstoomuchtrouble.一点也不麻烦我已经在查了Notaproblematall.Tmonit.真的？-是啊我这就在找管道工Really-Yeah.Lookingupplumbersrightnow.谢谢伙计你最强了Thanksman.Yourethebest.强者惺惺相惜嘛Yobestrecognizebest.（兰博建筑材料店）真棒丹尼刚刚发来短hearts;信hearts;列了一堆要买hearts;hearts;的东西Nice.Dannyjusttextedalistofshittobuy.这才像话终于有个计划了ThisiswhatImtalkingaboutman.Finallyafuckingplan.嘿-怎么了？Yo.-Yo背带裤应该买hearts;hearts;这个Overalls.Thatsthemove.不了老兄农民才穿背带裤呢Nobro.Farmerswearoverallsdude.管道工也穿•他们不hearts;穿hearts;这又不是在电子游戏里Sodoplumbers.-Notheydont.Thisaintavideogame.你在哪里见过农民穿这个？•几周前我去摘苹果的时候Whereyouseeafarmerat-1wentapplepickingacoupleweeksago.赶紧买hearts;hearts;东西吧Letsbuythisshit.好的Allright.这就是我工作的地方Thisiswhereitallgoesdown.很棒Verycool.那些是什么？Whatarethose那些是我过世父亲的作品Thosearemylatefatherspieces.好的我记得你说起过他Right.Irememberyoumentioninghim.是的-这个刚从画廊还回来Right.-Thisjustreturnedfromthegallery.月元椅珍品中的珍品TamagotheHolyGrail.-Wow.我并不想冒犯你hearts;爸hearts;Nooffensetoyourdad但我觉得这些作品和你这些天马行空butIdontknowthesepieceskindoffeellikealittleoutofaplace充满创意的作品相比感觉有点突兀comparedtoallthecrazycreativestuffyougotgoingoneverywhereelse.真的？Really是啊我觉得这才是我听到艺术时头脑中会想到的东西YeahImeanlikethisiswhatIimaginewhenIhearaboutfineartyouknow让我感觉到…Makesmefeellike...我不知道该怎么形容我不擅长艺术评论Idontknowhowtodescribeit.Tmnotgoodatthisshit.艺术可以用任何方式解读Theresnobadwayofinterpretingart.想到什么就说什么Saywhatevercomestomind.我想说我不知道感觉得对不对…ImeanyouknowIdontknowifitsrightbut...我不确定它让我Idontknowitkindofmakesme...。