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Unit12EmailPart1PurposeofanemailOverallthestudentwantstojoinintheinternationalbusinessprogramintheuniversity.Specificallyhewantstohavemoreinformationaboutclassrequirementsandthedeadlineofapplication.Itisunlikelythestudentwouldgetaclearresponsebecausehisorherrequestisburiedintoomuchunnecessaryinformationandislikelytoconfusethereviewer.ContentofanemailIngeneralthewriterfailstoexpresshimselfinsimpleandconciselanguage.Thewriterhasincludedseverallengthyconvolutedsentencesmanyunnecessarydescriptionsandpersonaldetailsthatarenotrelevanttothegoaloftheemail.IthasalwaysbeenmydreamtostudyabroadandseetheworldsoIbeganresearchingdifferentprogramoptionsmorethanayearago.Inthattime/haveseenmanyprogramsthatseemedpromisingbutitcanbedifficulttodeterminewhichoneisthebestfit.ImwritingtoyoutodaytoaskafewquestionsaboutthesummerstudyabroadprogramwithMiddletonUniversityinMontana.ThisprogramcaughtmyeyebecauseofthebeautifulcampuHandIwouldbeveryagesthatIcouldexplorethecultureofMontanawiththem.ImmostexcitedaboutgettingthechancetoexperiencetheclassesatMiddletonUniversitythatwouldhelpmeprogressinmygoalofattaininganinternationalbusinessdegreewhichisaprogramIhavebeenworkingonforthepasttwoyears.Thewebsiteincludedalotofexcellentinformationabouttheprogram.IwasespeciallyexcitedtoseethatclassselectionsincludedafineartsoptionasIhavebeenpracticingmypaintingskillsandamlookingforwardtostudyingnewtechniques.CouldyoupleaseclarifytheclassrequirementsAretwoclassesthemaximumortheminimumnumberofclassesastudentenrolledintheprogramcantakeIamalsointerestedinlearningmoreaboutthedeadline.IseethatapplicationsreceivedbeforeMarch15aregivenpriorityplacement.IknowthatwearenearingthedeadlineandIwanttomakesurethatIperfectmyapplicationmaterialsbeforesubmittingthemsoIamafraidImaymissitbyafewdays.StructureofanemailSubjectline:Bisbetterbecauseitismorespecificandmakesthereadermorelikelytoopentheemail.Greetings:Aisbetterbecauseitdoesnotassumetherecipientstitleandismoreformal.Closings:Aisbetterbecauseitismorepolite.
4.Signature:Bisbetterbecausewritersshouldalwaysclosewiththeirnames.Part2UsingorganizationphrasesContextualizetheemail:ADClarifypurposes:ERequestforrecipientsaction:CGSentencesthatdonotbelongintheemail:BFRequestingpolitelyIwouldliketoknowmoreabouttheenrollmentdetails.IfyoucouldpleasewritemebackwiththeanswerstothesetwoquestionsatyourearliestconvenienceIwouldappreciateit.Part3EvaluatinganemailSubjectLineThesubjectlineisnotclearandmeaningfulbecauseitdoesnotcontainanyspecificelements.GreetingThegreetingisappropriateandprofessional.ContentThewriteraddedanumberofunrelateddetails.ClosingThereisnoclosing.SignatureThereisnosignature.OrganizationParagraphsareusedbutsignalphrasesaremissing.EmailetiquetteTheemailisnotpoliteandprofessionalforitincludesanumberofinformalchoicese.g.theuseofasmiley.EffectivenessThewriterisunlikelytogetapositiveandquickresponsefromtherecipient.Furtherimprovements:
1.Writeaclearsubjectline.Deleteunrelateddetails.Closetheemailproperlyandsignitproperly.Useproperorganizationalphrasestohighlightthefocusofeachparagraph.Useformalandpolitelanguage.2SamplerevisionSubjectLine:DecisionregardingJaneDoestudyabroadapplication:
122334455.DearProfessorBrownIhopethisemailfindsyouwell.RecentlyIsubmittedanapplicationtotheMerriweatherstudy-abroadprogramforthefallsemester2020andIamwonderingifyouhaveanyupdateregardingthedecision.Myapplicationnumberis:
122334455.ThedeadlinefordecisionwastwodaysagoandIhaveasyetnotheardanything.PleaseletmeknowifIhavebeenacceptedintotheprogramasIwouldliketomakemysemesterplans.Yourpromptanswerisappreciated.KindregardsJaneDoe。
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